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[allthepresidentsmen]

All Fall Apart
Political rundown of the United States of America.
May 12, 2038.
​

Democratic Party: Pretty much in a perpetual state of shock since Wayne went ballistic at the G20. Oh god now we're set to lose at least 80 seats in the House. The president may have truncheoned the Chinese ambassador who spat on a protestor. Everything's on fire. Oh fuck

The White House: Wayne might be in office, but the true power lies with the PR experts.​

Bruce Wayne, President [Progressive]: Just...not having a good time. His spouse and his daughter are both dead, his second son is in a coma, and Malofeyev made the fucker behind the attacks his representative to the UN*. People are doing the Liz Truss challenge* on the 25th Amendment now. It's all looking a bit precarious at the moment.​

Joy Hofmeister, Vice President [Communitarian]: At least she's getting some de jure internship experience for being president. Depending on how things go, it might also be a detox from wanting to be president. Or a premature promotion. Possibly both.​

Brian Schatz, Secretary of State [Liberal]: Can I just pour one out for him? He was supposed to stay in the Senate as Majority Whip and take over for Klobuchar. Instead he's having to prevent the Naxalists and the theocrats from triggering MAD over Kashmir, somehow picking the right side to help in a piss-fight between Qatar and Iran, and making sure that the French don't back out of NATO. And now he's part of the de facto troika between himself, Hofmeister, and Reiman ever since Wayne went off the rails, if he was ever on them.​

Sara Nelson, Secretary of Labor [Progressive]: Not sure who's in charge, which is presumably bad. She's been allowed to push through union protections to her heart's content, though.​

Thomas Reiman, White House Chief of Staff [Progressive]: Pretty much the only person keeping Wayne from self-destructing.​

​

Congressional Caucuses: Thank god for 2036, or they'd be really fucked. Which is saying something when the DCCC is looking down the barrel at 80-seat losses.​

Pete Aguilar, Speaker of the House [Liberal]: Speaking of whom, he's trailing Alliance '50 by 8 points in his own district. If Alliance makes it to the runoff, that is.​

Amy Klobuchar, Senate Majority Leader [Liberal]: The Klobberer is finally contemplating retirement after 30 years in the chamber and 10 as its leader. I'm sure the leadership fight won't be a bloodletting shitfest, especially if the polls stay as they are.​

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Chair of the House Justice Caucus [Progressive]: Regretting her decision to stay in the House right about now. Though the HJC is likely to have the fewest losses, so silver lining there.​

John Fetterman, Chair of the Senate Justice Caucus [Progressive]: The lion of the Senate Democratic Caucus is on his way out after 16 years in the Senate. As likely as this is to result in a Republican pickup, I can't help but feel happy for his retirement. He deserves it.​

Jared Golden, Senator for Maine [Blue Dog]: The strongest advocate for a Wayne resignation / impeachment. As well as listing off all the centrist headbanger hits, but I'm pretty sure that's his job.​

Brace Belden, Representative for California [Democratic Socialist]: The "Dark Cowboy" isn't exactly enjoying his time in the House, but at least the informal DSA caucus is twenty-two members strong.​

​

Democratic National Committee / "The Party": At least Wayne won them 331 House seats last time.​

Jane Kleeb, DNC Chairwoman [Communitarian]: Wishing she had tried less hard in the '32 Senate race.​

Ruben Gallego, Senator for Arizona / DSCC Chairman [Progressive]: At least his seat isn't up this year.​

Danica Roem, Representative for Virginia / DCCC Chairwoman [Progressive]: The cliff to keep the GOP from gaining a hundred House seats is steepening by the day, but she should be able to see the DCCC through the next six months.​

Don Davis, Governor of North Carolina / DGA Chairman [Liberal]: Considering the bleak polling numbers nationally, it's honestly amazing how Dems are still ahead by enough in enough races that the general prediction includes Dems keeping 28 governorships. Good job, Don, you did good.​

Republican Party: Theoretically they'd be ahead of the Democrats in opinion polls by at least 4%, but apparently even a batshit-insane "socialist" president can't get you more than 180 house seats. At this point, it might be best if you start over - the GOP is dead and Matt Walsh killed it.

Republican leadership / "The Establishment": Lol they're barely over 30% approval with the party base get railed​

Ashley Hinson, House Minority Leader [Conservative]: On one hand, the last-woman-standing from the GOP's House leadership team in '36. On the other hand, having the worst leadership team since Kevin McFraud's Mickey Mouse Slaughterhouse. And this is the National Review's "dream president"?​

Mike Gallagher, Senate Minority Leader [Conservative]: Sorely regretting not running in '36, considering how well a one-term Connecticut representative who voted for Wayne wound up doing in the primaries. At least the GOP will gain Senate seats this year. Probably.​

Frank LaRose, Governor of Ohio / RGA Chairman [Conservative]: It's telling when the GOP's old "golden boy" is now only in the news because he might lose his primary to Jake Paul.​

Adrian Lukis, RNC Chairman [MAGA]: How desperate do you have to be to consider the guy responsible for the last guy's landslide defeat the person to get you out of this electoral mess? I suppose losing by 230 electoral votes is an improvement over losing by 510.​

Congressional Patriotic Caucus / "The Trumpists": Ironically, now the center ground of the GOP.​

Sean Reyes, Senate Minority Whip [MAGA]: Barely hung on in '36 because of his overt Trumpist posturing and now he's course-correcting by ... more posturing, for fuck's sake.​

Jessica Taylor, Senator for Alabama [MAGA]: The Boebert of the Senate is just not too good at this whole "legislative" malarkey, is she? It's the twelfth time she's tried to propose a funding bill now. From the Senate. She couldn't find a nutter in the House desperate enough to help you sponsor it?​

Alex Mooney, Senator for West Virginia [MAGA]: He's ... still here, that's for sure.​

Byron Donalds, House Minority Whip [MAGA]: See? This is what I meant when I say "worst leadership team since McFraud".​

Javon Price, Representative from Virginia [MAGA]: The only person approaching respectability in this gang of motley far-right assholes. A pity he's decided to keep slumming in the House instead of running (and losing) for governor.​

​

National Freedom Front / "Free Matt Walsh" / "The Insurrectionists": This is where shit gets freaky​

Tulsi Gabbard, Commentator / '36 vice-presidential nominee [MAGA]: Screaming about how the "homosexual globalist MIC" framed Walshie for child abuse because he didn't want to start "Woke War III". Remember when she was the future of the progressive Democrats? Good times.​

Matt Shea, Representative from Washington [MAGA]: How is this guy still in the House? He's been kidnapping "adopting" orphans from Belarus and spends more time gallivanting about with his Three-Percenter buddies than in D.C. proper. The number of votes he misses alone should qualify him for expulsion.​

Robert Rundo, Neo-Nazi commentator / leader of the "Spartan Front" [Militia]: Oh god an actual neo-Nazi militia leader is the de-facto leader of these loons. Fuck me.​

Nick Fuentes, Expelled frm. Representative from Indiana / alt-right commentator [Neofascist]: I'd be more scared of him if he weren't so fucking pathetic.​

Jackson Hinkle, Commentator / House nominee from California [Patriotic Socialist]: This guy? The guy who ran against Wayne in the '29 mayoral race, got BTFOed, pissed off to the Greens for a few years, tried to primary Brisport then moved back to California to run for McCarthy's old district? This guy is your electoral future?​

... now I see why you're trying your luck with not being blown up by the National Guard.​

Alliance '50: On one hand, they've finally coalesced Amash's not-insane libertarians, Labranche's ex-Democrats, Kinzinger's ex-Republicans and the last of the Rockefeller Republicans into one party. On the other hand is the entire history of the Reform Party.

Libertarians / Ex-Reps: Oh look, it's the least electorally successful part of the party. Thank god they're not - oh they're 58% of your statewide parties?​

Justin Amash, Frm. Representative from Michigan / '36 independent presidential candidate [Centrist]: Seems to be cautious about the party platform, which is probably the best choice.​

Beth Fukumoto, '28 Forward vice-presidential nominee [Romney Republican]: Bragging about the Alliance becoming the second-biggest party in Hawaii. Considering the state of the GOP, that's not nearly as impressive as she wants you to think it is.​

Christine Drazan, Frm. Governor of Oregon / '28 Republican presidential candidate [Conservative]: A pretty good example of "the GOP left me". Alongside Kinzinger, Cheney, Beutler and Sununu but that's beside the point.​

​

Ex-Dems: Your most left-wing member is ... Carrick Flynn. Well that's an improvement over Joe Sestak, I suppose.​

Carrick Flynn, House Opposition Leader / '38 Oregon senate nominee [Bloomberg Dem]: Now that the ORGOP has gone broke I suppose he'll do better in the Senate race. Will he win? Probably not, but it would beat Christian Walker ousting Ossoff.​

Eric Adams, Frm. NYC Mayor / '34 New York gubernatorial nominee [Radical Centrist]: Why is he even here? He's barely any different from a big-city tough-on-crime Democrat.​

​

Contrarians: You started a party with the tagline "Fuck The Establishment", Amash, how are you surprised by the number of edgy "I aM An iNDiViduAl" Zoomers and Gen-Alphas who signed on?​

Calla Walsh, Commentator / '32 Green Massachusetts senate candidate [Anti-Imperialist]: Would probably be a better organizer if she spent 10% less time shilling out for CGTN.​

Joe Rogan, Commentator [Radical Centrist / Libertarian]: Just here for the shits and giggles, it seems. Which is probably fair enough.​

​

The Rest of the World: Mostly looking on in trepidation. But beyond that ...

Amazon: Bezos has been throwing a shit-fit ever since Wayne nationalized what was left of Lockheed Martin.​

​

People's Republic of China: Still seething over Wayne putting army depots on Taiwan. Even more seethed over their inability to "retake" Taiwan, because even Chen Weihua can see that an invasion would probably end with the glassing of Zhongnanhai. Though they do have a leadership crisis to sort out first.​

Li Qiang, General Secretary / Paramount Leader [de jure]: Still in power despite having remained in seclusion ever since his stroke in December '37. The vast majority of the party is still loyal to him, though the power struggle within the State Council could spill over to the rest of the party ...​

Hu Haifeng, Vice Premier / Minister of Science and Technology: The son of ex-premier Hu Jintao and another princeling, Hu seems to be a popular figure with the party elders and the public (though both are very debatable). People have spoken of him as a future Paramount Leader, though his day in the sun could come much earlier ...​

Guo Ningning, Vice Premier / Minister of Foreign Affairs: The only woman to serve on the State Council has also been making her moves behind the scenes. The "Iron Lady" has surprisingly proved to be more adept at diplomatic glad-handing than her predecessor, though she is just as ruthless behind the curtains.​

Qin Weizhong, Vice Premier / Minister of Housing and Urban-Rural Development: The semi-reformist ex-Shenzen Mayor has proved to be relatively competent compared to the rest of his mayoral colleagues and could prove to be a formidable successor when Li relinquishes his power.​

​

Meta: Still alive, against all expectations. Still shit, too. And in all likelihood still stealing everyone's data.​

​

Russia (Popular Democratic Front): Now the likeliest people to come out on top in the Russian Smuta, what with all the western aid and volunteers and will of the people. I suppose serfdom / internment under Malofeyev or stagnation under Sobyanin Patrushev Kiriyenko Alikhanov Manturov weren't exactly tempting.​

Yevgeny Roizman, President: The one man the assorted communists, liberals, populists and localists could agree on to lead the Democratic Provisional Administration is doing a good job at keeping Yekaterinburg relatively clean, orderly, and un-bombed. This immediately makes both him and his beloved city targets for the Black Hundreds, but considering their arms depots finally running out he's probably going to be survive the war just fine. That inevitable constitutional convention though ...​

Denis Parfyonov, Prime Minister: One of the few leaders of the Popular Front who served in the Putin-era Duma and the de facto point of contact between Yekaterinburg and Vladivostok.​

Sergei Boiko, Representative to the United Nations: A Navalny stalwart and​

Isabel Magkoeva: The ​

Mikhail Lobanov:​

Ilya Yashin:​

Nikolai Kasyan: Still imprisoned in Vladivostok, and having a lot of fun (relative) with how the Feds hate him but can't kill him because Wayne will cut military aid and start drafting plans to cross the Bering Strait.​

​

Russia ("The Black Hundreds"): Lol get fucked Malofeyev you crazy hobo-looking fuck​

Konstantin Malofeyev, Regent [as Konstantin I]: His armies are being pushed west of the Omsk, St. Petersburg and Tsaritsyn are under constant attack, and the money reserves are finally drying up. Also he's losing his marbles, but it's not as if he had that many to begin with.​

​

Russia ("The Feds"): Just not having a fun time. The Tsarists squeezed them out of St. Petersburg, the Front squeezed them out of Moscow, and now they've been reduced to a rump state in the Urals and Siberia - assuming the U.S. doesn't begin Manifesting Destiny towards the northern Far East ...​

Denis Manturov, President: Pretty much in charge on the sole virtue of being last-one-standing in the Moscow Kaliningrad Vladivostok government's conga line of leaders. The Putinists hate him for vaguely gesturing towards political reform, the reformists hate him for arresting half of the Duma's opposition, and the leftists hate him for turning Siberia into a de facto Chinese protectorate. Good times.​

​

Starlink / SpaceX / etc: Still being nationalized by the Dept. of Defense after Musk fled to Zimbabwe. Musk is still contesting this. From Zimbabwe.​

Elon Musk: Apparently he's trying to turn Zimbabwe into an actual corpocracy. Good grief, if there was ever a justified "forever war" intervention ...​

​

Tumblr: Still alive, and has been pretty much in a state of mass grief ever since March. Considering the events after the attack, I can see why.​

​

​

Notes:
1. See that time Iran made the fucking Joker its UN ambassador. No, really. That's how Death in the Family ends.
2. You know how the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was just outlasted by a fucking head of iceberg lettuce?

In progress. This might actually the biggest rundown I've made, considering how I'm not even done with the Democrats yet.

 

[Meppo]

His spouse and his daughter are both dead, his second son is in a coma, and Malofeyev made the fucker behind the attacks his representative to the UN*

1. See that time Iran made the fucking Joker its UN ambassador. No, really. That's how Death in the Family ends.

Did the rep in question (or at least one of the usual shithead hosts) brag about it on national TV?

That said I'm glad Jack Napier is moving up in the world

Jane Kleeb, DNC Chairwoman [Communitarian]: Wishing she had tried less hard in the '32 Senate race.

who are the Communitarians?

and making sure that the French don't back out of NATO.

neo-Gaullism

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Did the rep in question (or at least one of the usual shithead hosts) brag about it on national TV?

How, pray tell, do you think the G20 incident happened?

who are the Communitarians?

Essentially they’re rural populists with much less of a focus on social issues. So imagine Joe Manchin but much more economically progressive.

neo-Gaullism

Gaullism-Melenchonism ftw

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Russia (Popular Democratic Front):
Russia ("The Black Hundreds"):
Russia ("The Feds"):

@Meppo added quite a bit about Russia in All Fall Apart.

 

[Meppo]

@Meppo added quite a bit about Russia in All Fall Apart.

Very nice

I feel like the Front would have to have a bunch of made-up names for its military leaders, frankly speaking

I find it mildly funny that Parfyonov the Stalin constitution endorser is Prime Minister, must be fun for him to deal with all the Navalnyites in the cabinet

Denis Manturov, President: Pretty much in charge on the sole virtue of being last-one-standing in the Moscow Kaliningrad Vladivostok government's conga line of leaders. The Putinists hate him for vaguely gesturing towards political reform, the reformists hate him for arresting half of the Duma's opposition, and the leftists hate him for turning Siberia into a de facto Chinese protectorate. Good times.

kek

I feel like some leftists wouldn't be too bothered about Russia becoming a de facto Chinese protectorate

Nikolai Kasyan: Still imprisoned in Vladivostok, and having a lot of fun (relative) with how the Feds hate him but can't kill him because Wayne will cut military aid and start drafting plans to cross the Bering Strait.

how did he end up in Vladik

Robert Rundo, Neo-Nazi commentator / leader of the "Spartan Front" [Militia]: Oh god an actual neo-Nazi militia leader is the de-facto leader of these loons. Fuck me.

shouldn't he be in Serbia

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Very nice

I feel like the Front would have to have a bunch of made-up names for its military leaders, frankly speaking

That is fair, but I've yet to use the generator so here are the major political names

I find it mildly funny that Parfyonov the Stalin constitution endorser is Prime Minister, must be fun for him to deal with all the Navalnyites in the cabinet

That was 80% of my intent, yes.

I feel like some leftists wouldn't be too bothered about Russia becoming a de facto Chinese protectorate

I was more thinking about how old-school Stalinists wouldn't like to be run by the PRC, but I suspect they wouldn't be aligned with the Feds anyways.

how did he end up in Vladik

Anti-government protests?

shouldn't he be in Serbia

When even the Serbs have had enough of your malarkey...

 

[Meppo]

When even the Serbs have had enough of your malarkey...

Well, okay, how about the Wagner Group then? Does Rundo have any connections to them?

Anti-government protests?

So he got arrested before the Feds got pushed out of Moscow and St. Pete?

That is fair, but I've yet to use the generator so here are the major political names

Alright

Not sure about your opinion on TV Tropes but this page is generally helpful in explaning Russian (and more broadly East Slavic) naming customs, addresses and probability of a specific name/suffix across ethnicities, though there's plenty of overlap when it comes to East Slavic surnames as it happens

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Well, okay, how about the Wagner Group then? Does Rundo have any connections to them?

Many.

So he got arrested before the Feds got pushed out of Moscow and St. Pete?

Exactly. Essentially he's a bargaining chip used in negotiations between the Feds, the PDF and the EU+US, though everyone's patience with this hostage negotiation is wearing thin.

Not sure about your opinion on TV Tropes but this page is generally helpful in explaning Russian (and more broadly East Slavic) naming customs, addresses and probability of a specific name/suffix across ethnicities, though there's plenty of overlap when it comes to East Slavic surnames as it happens

Ooh, that looks interesting

 

[Meppo]

Ooh, that looks interesting

I'd like to add that Volga Tatars and to a lesser degree Bashkirs have been naming their kids Germanic/Latin names since roughly the 1920s but that's not as common nowadays I think

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom:
2019-2022: Frm. Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson (Conservative | Uxbridge and South Ruislip)
'19 (Majority): def. Jeremy Corbyn (Labour | Islington North), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP | Did not stand), Jo Swinson (Liberal Democrats | East Dunbartonshire, defeated)
2022-2022: Frm. Foreign Secretary Liz Truss (Conservative | South West Norfolk)

July-September '22 leadership contest: def. Rishi Sunak (Richmond, Yorks)​

2022-2023: Frm. Prime Minister Boris Johnson (Conservative | Uxbridge and South Ruislip [recalled]; then none)

October '22 leadership contest: def. Rishi Sunak (Richmond, Yorks), Penny Mordaunt (Portsmouth North), Suella Braverman (Fareham)​

November '22: Committee of Privileges suspends Johnson from House of Commons following the finding that he misled MPs in relation to Partygate.​

December '22: Recall petition against Johnson succeeds; Johnson does not contest by-election, instead contesting Mid Bedfordshire following resignation of Nadine Dorries​

February '23 by-elections: Uxbridge and South Ruislip (Ali Milani wins; LAB GAIN); Mid Bedfordshire (Rhiannon Meades wins; LAB GAIN)​

'23 Vote of No Confidence: 53.4% No Confidence​

2022-2024: Chancellor of the Exchequer Jeremy Hunt (Conservative | South West Surrey, leading Caretaker Government [de facto])

'23 leadership election: Unopposed​

'24 Vote of No Confidence: 331 MPs​

2024-2038: Leader of the Opposition Sir Keir Starmer (Labour | Kentish Town and Bloomsbury, then Highgate and Bloomsbury)
'24 (Majority): def. Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats | Kingston and Surbiton), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP | Did not stand), Jeremy Hunt (Conservative | Farnham and Bordon, defeated), Carla Denyer & Adrian Ramsey (Green | Ran in Bristol Central (won) & Did not stand), Suella Braverman (Back Britain | Fareham)

'25 Scottish independence referendum: 52.4% No​

'28 (Majority): def. Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats | Kingston and Surbiton), Carla Denyer (Green | Bristol Central), Humza Yousaf (SNP | Did not stand), Kemi Badenoch (Conservative | Saffron Walden), Suella Braverman (Back Britain | Fareham, defeated)

'30 Commons reform referendum: 54.5% Yes​

'31 leadership challenge: def. Richard Burgon (Leeds East)​

'32 (Majority): def. Ed Gemmell (Green | Chesham and Amersham), Tom Tugendhat & Daisy Cooper (Conservative-LibDem coupon | Tonbridge and Malling & St Albans), Humza Yousaf (SNP | Did not stand), Richard Burgon (PBP | Leeds East, defeated)
'36 (Majority): def. Alicia Kearns (One Nation | Rutland and Harborough), Amelia Womack (Green | Caerphilly), Mhairi Black (SNP | Did not stand), Zarah Sultana (PBP | Coventry and Earlsdon)
2038-20__: Home Secretary Bridget Phillipson (Labour | Houghton and Ryhope)

2040 United Kingdom general election polling (seat count)
Labour (CC0033) — 317 geographical, 76 list
One Nation (3366CC) — 214 geographical, 70 list
Green (00A885) — 68 geographical, 36 list
SNP (F7DA64) — 30 geographical, 5 list
PBP (9365B8) — 14 geographical, 12 list
Others (A38F84) — 7 geographical, 1 list

Likely outcome: Labour minority with Green / PBP confidence and supply [possible coalition]

***​

With credit to @iupius.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Presidents of the United States of America:
2021-2027: Former Vice President Joe Biden (Democratic | Delaware)
(With Kamala Harris)

'20: def. Pres. Donald Trump [FL] / Vice Pres. Mike Pence [IN] (R)​

'24: def. Frm. Pres. Donald Trump [FL] / Gov. Kim Reynolds [IA] (R)​

'27 (March 22): Resignation of Joe Biden.​

2027-2029: Vice President Kamala Harris (Democratic | California)
(With Vacant, then Mark Milley)

'27 (July 10 - 17): Former JCS Chairman Mark Milley is narrowly confirmed as Vice President with 223 House votes and 55 Senate votes.​

'28 (June 24 - August 12): The Fourth Taiwan Straits Crisis occurs, ultimately ending with the seizure of the Kinmen and Matsu islands by the People's Republic of China.​

2029-2033: Businessman Mike Lindell (Republican | Minnesota)
(With Chris Sprowls)

'28: def. Pres. Kamala Harris [CA] / Frm. Gov. Andy Beshear [KY] (D)​

'29 (November 26): The Second Great Depression begins with the Black Monday Crash.​

'33: During the second J6 Capitol attack and assassination of Chris Sununu, Pres. Mike Lindell is arrested by the Virginia National Guard while leading militants towards the Capitol.​

'33 (January 7 - 11): The third impeachment of Mike Lindell succeeds with 298 House votes and 75 Senate votes.​

'33 (January 11): The vote to bar Mike Lindell from public office succeeds with 295 House votes and 74 Senate votes.​

2033-2033: Vice President Chris Sprowls (Republican | Florida)
(Vacant throughout presidency)
2033-2039: Governor Bruce Wayne (Democratic | New York)
(With Joy Hofmeister)

'32: def. Pres. Mike Lindell [MN] / Vice Pres. Chris Sprowls [FL] (R)​

'36 (October 5): Republican presidential nominee Matt Walsh is arrested by Nashville police and the FBI on various charges, including child abuse and possession of child pornography.​

'36: def. Frm. Rep. Justin Amash [MI] / Ret. Gen. Paul M. Nakasone [MN] (I), scattered electors (R), Frm. Gov. Matt Walsh [TN] (removed from ticket) / none (R)​

'38 (February 3): The Fenway Park bombing happens in Boston, leading to the deaths of First Gentleman Ian Clarke, Timothy Drake-Wayne, and 230 others; the Spartan Front claims responsibility as revenge for the "moral corruption" of America.​

'38 (March 13): Robert Rundo, alleged leader of the Spartan Front and neo-Nazi militant, is appointed by Konstantin Malofeyev as his permanent representative to the United Nations.​

'38 (April 9): The G20 assault diplomatic incident happens in Dublin between the American and Imperial Russian diplomatic missions following the alleged assault of Rundo and Russian businessman Yevgeny Prigozhin by Pres. Bruce Wayne.​

'38 (April 20): A Department of Justice investigation concludes that Elon Musk had violated the Espionage Act by maintaining contacts with officials in the Malofeyev government; Musk subsequently flees to Zimbabwe, which refuses to extradite him to the U.S.; the U.S. begins nationalizing Starlink, SpaceX, and other U.S.-funded ventures operated by Musk.​

'38 (June 29): The Eighth Circuit Court temporarily halts an executive order which directed the Treasury to distribute larger UBI checks; the Wayne administration refuses to comply.​

'38 (November 2): Despite massive losses (and the defeat of Speaker Pete Aguilar), the Democratic Party retains majority control over both houses of Congress.​

'39 (January 23 - 25): Aided by Alliance '50 representatives and moderate Democrats, the first impeachment of Bruce Wayne passes the House with 232 votes.​

'39 (January 25 - 27): The impeachment fails after the Democratic-controlled Senate controversially bypasses a trial to enter a not-guilty verdict.​

'39 (January 29): The Republic of China (Taiwan) formally votes to assert its independence from the PRC [63% For, 24% No Change, 7% Against, 6% Reunification].​

'39 (February 3 - 8): Following the success of the Taiwanese independence referendum, the U.S. begins placing military assets in Taiwan; the Fifth Taiwan Straits Crisis begins.​

'39 (February 9): Wayne suffers a mental break during a town hall in Portland, assaulting an "anti-war" heckler and allegedly taking a firearm from a Secret Service agent.​

'39 (February 10): Wayne is present during a clash between pro-democracy protestors and Chinese consulate staff in San Antonio; he allegedly commits aggravated assault against a man later found to be a Chinese ambassador, though this is denied by the U.S. government.​

'39 (February 11): In response to a French European Parliament member urging NATO members to recognize the North Korean government as legitimate, Wayne urges the secretary-general of the organization to formally expel France from the group despite such a mechanism not existing.​

'39 (February 12): Wayne floats an invasion of Zimbabwe after the exiled Musk purchases controlling shares over its consortium government, effectively taking power as its leader.​

'39 (February 15 - 17): The Wayne cabinet formally votes to invoke the 25th Amendment following the February incidents; Wayne submits a letter to Congress declaring his fitness for office.​

2039-203_: President Bruce Wayne (Democratic | New York) [de jure]; Vice President Joy Hofmeister (Democratic | Oklahoma) [de facto]
(With Joy Hofmeister [de jure]; Vacant [de facto])

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

​

• November 2026: Former Justice Caucus vice-chair Bruce Wayne defeats incumbent governor of New York Lee Zeldin by 7%, becoming New York's first LGBTQ+ governor; in Tennessee, anti-LGBTQ+ activist Matt Walsh wins the gubernatorial election, defeating Democratic Lee Harris by 12%.​
• November 2030: Incumbent governor of New York Bruce Wayne wins re-election over Andrew Giuliani by 38%; controversial governor of Tennessee Matt Walsh loses re-election to Tim McGraw by 4% as Republicans are routed across the country during the Second Great Depression.​
• November 2032: New York governor Bruce Wayne, the Democratic nominee, defeats incumbent Republican Mike Lindell in an electoral landslide.​
• January 2033: The second January 6th Capitol attack results in the murder of Sen. Chris Sununu by far-right rioters. Walsh defends his killers by labeling Sununu's moderatism as "appeasing evil"; this is hugely unpopular but propels Walsh to quasi-stardom in the far-right.​
• Throughout 2035: The Republican primary field fails to gain many high-tier candidates as the party's failure to make major headway in the 2034 midterms lead many major figures to see the 2036 election as unwinnable.​
• July 2036: Matt Walsh narrowly defeats former Connecticut representative Erin Stewart, West Virginia senator Alex Mooney, and North Dakota governor Drew Wrigley after 19 ballots at the RNC. He immediately promises to arrest abortion providers and pride parade organizers in his keynote speech to the RNC, prompting major protests and walkouts.​
• August 2036: Former Michigan representative Justin Amash gains major donors and endorsements — including former president Chris Sprowls and Senate Minority Whip Katie Britt — as Walsh plummets in polls. Wayne leads, averaging 59% of the vote in polls, though Amash is making headway. Amash also formally selects former Joint Chiefs Chairman Paul M. Nakasone as his running mate in a bid to give his campaign more clout.​
• September 2036: Amash is invited to the first presidential debate after breaking 15% of the vote for two consecutive weeks. Walsh's endorsement of far-right conspiracies and usage of anti-gay slurs on live TV lead to a collapse in the Republican Party's polling numbers. However, Wayne gains the greatest amount of ground in post-debate polling.
• October 2036: Walsh is arrested by the FBI during the second presidential debate on live TV on charges of child abuse and possession of child pornography. Immediately, the Republican Party collapses to below 8% in opinion polling; multiple state-level Republican parties endorse Amash. The RNC disavows Walsh, and running-mate Tulsi Gabbard leaves the ticket; however, Walsh cannot be removed from the ticket in time.​
• November 2036: Bruce Wayne is re-elected as president, becoming the first presidential candidate to win more than 500 electoral votes since Ronald Reagan in 1984, as well as winning the greatest number of votes in U.S. history. Amash wins 30 electoral votes, the first third-party candidate to do so since George Wallace in 1968; for his part, Walsh is the worst-performing Republican presidential candidate in history, failing to win a single statewide contest and only taking Nebraska's third congressional district by 0.013%. Despite this, members of the far-right insinuate massive voter fraud, as well as a conspiracy to "frame" Walsh for the crimes committed by members of the "Deep State".​
• December 2036: 6 Amash electors defect, with two in Alabama voting for Katie Britt, two in Indiana voting for Mike Pence, one in North Dakota voting for Kelly Armstrong, and one in Wyoming voting for Liz Cheney.​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Final choice:
Former Governor Joy Hofmeister of Oklahoma (2023-31)

Finalists:
Senator Jen Carroll-Foy of Virginia (2027-present)
Governor Peggy Flanagan of Minnesota (2027-35)
Governor Kerry Donovan of Colorado (2027-35)
Senator Raphael Warnock of Georgia (2021-present)
Senator Mallory McMorrow of Michigan (2025-32)

Vetted:
Former Governor Wes Moore of Maryland (2023-31)
Governor Shemia Fagan of Oregon (2027-34)
Former Senator Tim Ryan of Ohio (2023-29)
Governor Ron Nirenberg of Texas (2027-39)
Senator Jacky Rosen of Nevada (2019-37)
Senator Rochelle Garza of Texas (2025-present)
Former Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin of Georgia (2021-29)

Reported:
Senator Katie Porter of California (2025-present)
Governor Rob Bonta of California (2027-35)
Representative Mary Peltola of Alaska (2022-29, 2031-39)
Governor Brandon Presley of Mississippi (2028-36)
Senator Becca Balint of Vermont (2029-present)
Senator T'wina Nobles of Washington (2029-present)

Declined:
Former Governor & 2028 vice-presidential nominee Andy Beshear of Kentucky (2019-27) [Ran for Senate; won]
Former Vice President Mark Milley of Virginia (2027-29)

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

“Do you know what crimes are preventable?

Rape.

Child abuse.

Drunk driving.

Blackmail.

Scamming.

Excessive force.

You say I’m soft on crime, but I have done more for victims of abuse and conmen than anyone on your side. I’ve ended time limits for prosecuting all sexual assault cases, eliminated probation as a sentencing option for all sexual assault cases, harshened sentences for scammers and DUIs, and increased oversight on the people who are supposed to “protect and serve”. That’s what tough on crime looks like — sensible policy that works, not race-baiting dogma!”

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

2033-2039: Governor Bruce Wayne (Democratic | New York)
(With Joy Hofmeister)

'32: def. Pres. Mike Lindell [MN] / Vice Pres. Chris Sprowls [FL] (R)​

'36 (October 5): Republican presidential nominee Matt Walsh is arrested by Nashville police and the FBI on various charges, including child abuse and possession of child pornography.​

'36: def. Frm. Rep. Justin Amash [MI] / Ret. Gen. Paul M. Nakasone [MN] (I), scattered electors (R), Frm. Gov. Matt Walsh [TN] (removed from ticket) / none (R)​

'38 (February 3): The Fenway Park bombing happens in Boston, leading to the deaths of First Gentleman Ian Clarke, Timothy Drake-Wayne, and 230 others; the Spartan Front claims responsibility as revenge for the "moral corruption" of America.​

'38 (March 13): Robert Rundo, alleged leader of the Spartan Front and neo-Nazi militant, is appointed by Konstantin Malofeyev as his permanent representative to the United Nations.​

'38 (April 9): The G20 assault diplomatic incident happens in Dublin between the American and Imperial Russian diplomatic missions following the alleged assault of Rundo and Russian businessman Yevgeny Prigozhin by Pres. Bruce Wayne.​

'38 (April 20): A Department of Justice investigation concludes that Elon Musk had violated the Espionage Act by maintaining contacts with officials in the Malofeyev government; Musk subsequently flees to Zimbabwe, which refuses to extradite him to the U.S.; the U.S. begins nationalizing Starlink, SpaceX, and other U.S.-funded ventures operated by Musk.​

'38 (June 29): The Eighth Circuit Court temporarily halts an executive order which directed the Treasury to distribute larger UBI checks; the Wayne administration refuses to comply.​

'38 (November 2): Despite massive losses (and the defeat of Speaker Pete Aguilar), the Democratic Party retains majority control over both houses of Congress.​

'39 (January 23 - 25): Aided by Alliance '50 representatives and moderate Democrats, the first impeachment of Bruce Wayne passes the House with 232 votes.​

'39 (January 25 - 27): The impeachment fails after the Democratic-controlled Senate controversially bypasses a trial to enter a not-guilty verdict.​

'39 (January 29): The Republic of China (Taiwan) formally votes to assert its independence from the PRC [63% For, 24% No Change, 7% Against, 6% Reunification].​

'39 (February 3 - 8): Following the success of the Taiwanese independence referendum, the U.S. begins placing military assets in Taiwan; the Fifth Taiwan Straits Crisis begins.​

'39 (February 9): Wayne suffers a mental break during a town hall in Portland, assaulting an "anti-war" heckler and allegedly taking a firearm from a Secret Service agent.​

'39 (February 10): Wayne is present during a clash between pro-democracy protestors and Chinese consulate staff in San Antonio; he allegedly commits aggravated assault against a man later found to be a Chinese ambassador, though this is denied by the U.S. government.​

'39 (February 11): In response to a French European Parliament member urging NATO members to recognize the North Korean government as legitimate, Wayne urges the secretary-general of the organization to formally expel France from the group despite such a mechanism not existing.​

'39 (February 12): Wayne floats an invasion of Zimbabwe after the exiled Musk purchases controlling shares over its consortium government, effectively taking power as its leader.​

'39 (February 15 - 17): The Wayne cabinet formally votes to invoke the 25th Amendment following the February incidents; Wayne submits a letter to Congress declaring his fitness for office.​

2039-203_: President Bruce Wayne (Democratic | New York) [de jure]; Vice President Joy Hofmeister (Democratic | Oklahoma) [de facto]
(With Joy Hofmeister [de jure]; Vacant [de facto])

TLDR; Mike Lindell is exactly as competent as you'd expect him to be, and the floor collapses from under the GOP as unemployment surges to 20%. State governments begin allying with each other as all the White House offers up are prayer broadcasts and inane conspiracies. Across the aisle in the runup to 2032, it's every man for himself as the primary field swells to 45;

Belden burns bright but flames out after winning New Hampshire and Nevada, and Democrats rally behind the known quantity for fear of blowing an open goal. McMorrow's star role in the DSCC ends up sparking a major party feud; the collapse of the Bay Area housing market took Bonta off the map; Carroll-Foy's debate flip-flop sent her packing; S. E. Cupp becomes the first major candidate to enjoy a negative personal vote; nobody’s sure why Josh Stein even bothered. The St. Paul DNC winds up nominating the wunderkind and the matriarch, trailblazing through the 2030s on the back of huge majorities, and with the GOP imploding from the second storming of the Capitol (and the murder of Senator Sununu) up until the point when their nominee is arrested for noncery it seems like the good times might just keep going.

This era of Good Vibes lasts right up until a truck bomb is parked under Fenway Park at the height of the MLB season.

Losing a spouse and a son would be enough to do many people in, but Wayne seems to be holding strong. At first.

Sure, he went apeshit at Rundo and Prigozhin at the G20, but who can blame him?

Then the cracks start to show. The White House begins to act with a stunning lack of political self-preservation skills; as the Democrats retain majorities despite losing 103 representatives and 12 senators, Wayne seems to have held on. An impeachment effort stalls out as SML Ossoff twists the rules to a McConnellist degree and bypasses a Senate trial. Unfortunately for the Democratic Party, a family emergency and a sense of betrayal (owing to many of his friends from the House voting to impeach) paves the way to the return of his alcoholism. Senior staff manage to limit his access to bourbon in the White House, but he drinks to excess everywhere else. A combination of whiskey and a particularly odious tankie triggers a meltdown, which itself is the opening act to a week of utter chaos. The cabinet finally crosses the Rubicon and invokes the 25th.

Unfortunately, if you expected Wayne to go silently, you don't know him at all.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Based on @Vidal's idea of a Hillary Clinton campaign in '04. But this time Clinton wins.

Presidents of the United States of America:
2001-2005: George W. Bush (Republican)

'00 (with Dick Cheney) def. Al Gore / Joe Lieberman (Democratic)​

2005-2013: Hillary Clinton (Democratic)

'04 (with Mark Warner) def. George W. Bush / Bill Frist (Republican)​

'08 (with Mark Warner) def. Rudy Giuliani / Newt Gingrich (Republican)​

2013-2017: George W. Bush (Republican)

'12 (with Marco Rubio) def. Joe Biden / Kathleen Sebelius (Democratic)​

2017-2025: Marco Rubio (Republican)

'16 (with Norm Coleman) def. Mark Warner / Tulsi Gabbard (Democratic), Jesse Ventura / Howie Hawkins (Green)​

'20 (with Norm Coleman) def. Natalie Tennant / Gavin Newsom (Democratic)​

2025-20__: John Fetterman (Democratic)

'24 (with Beto O'Rourke) def. Jon Huntsman, Jr. / Savannah Maddox (Republican)​

'28 (with Beto O'Rourke) def. Dan Forest / Eric Schmitt (Republican)​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Leaders of the Group of Eight (2039):
Australia: Prime Minister Phillip Thompson (Liberal-National Coalition) (2035 - )
Canada: Prime Minister Sean Fraser (Liberal) (2036 - )
France: President Julien Bayou (Europe Ecology – The Greens / Europe Écologie Les Verts) (2022 - )
Germany: Prime Minister Ricarda Lang (Green / Die Grünen) (2034 - )
Japan: Prime Minister Ai Yahata (Reiwa / れいわ新選組) (2038 - )
South Korea: President Park Ji-hyun (Democratic / 더불어민주당) (2037 - )
United Kingdom: Prime Minister Bridget Phillipson (Labour) (2038 - )
United States: Acting President Joy Hofmeister (Democratic) (2039 - ) [Replacing sitting Pres. Bruce Wayne owing to the invocation of the 25th Amendment]

Leaders of the Shanghai Pact (2039):
Brazil: President Adilson Barroso (People's Party / Partido Popular) (2034 - )
China: General Secretary Li Qiang (CCP / 中国共产党) (2034 - )
Iran: President Ehsan Khandozi (Popular Reform Front / جبهه مردمی اصلاحات) (2036 - )
Pakistan: Prime Minister Saad Hussain Rizvi (Alliance for Prosperity / خوشحالی کے لیے اتحاد) (2034 - )
Russia: Acting President Vladimir Kiriyenko (All-Russian Federal Front / Общероссийский федеральный фронт) (2036 - )
Spain: Prime Minister José Maria Figaredo (Vox) (2038 - )

 

[Meppo]

Russia: Acting President Vladimir Kiriyenko (All-Russian Federal Front / Общероссийский федеральный фронт) (2036 - )

oh boy the Kinder Surprise is in charge

wonder if he's only around to preside over the heyday of a brutal economic crisis, as was the case for his premiership

I wonder how Ukraine is doing

Brazil: President Adilson Barroso (People's Party / Partido Popular) (2034 - )

whomst

Japan: Prime Minister Ai Yahata (Reiwa / れいわ新選組) (2038 - )

...the actress?

Spain: Prime Minister José Maria Figaredo (Vox) (2038 - )

You know I do understand that this one comes up fairly often in your lists but I do have to wonder if any other widely recognized country in Europe is Shanghai Pact-leaning, and if the European Union and NATO have been severely weakened over the years.

Presumably Spain is no longer in NATO, but then I have to ask why doesn't NATO have a mechanism for expelling members like Mr. Wayne has demanded for Melenchon