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oh boy the Kinder Surprise is in charge

wonder if he's only around to preside over the heyday of a brutal economic crisis, as was the case for his premiership
Well, he's also here to get shot, if that counts as a role ...
it's his son who i've put in, actually, but who's counting?

I wonder how Ukraine is doing
Quite well; a combination of Western reconstruction funds and economic alliances with Poland have made it not necessarily a economic power but a generally nicer place to live.

Just a random politico from Bolsonaro's party.

...the actress?
And a politician. They may or may not be the same person.

You know I do understand that this one comes up fairly often in your lists but I do have to wonder if any other widely recognized country in Europe is Shanghai Pact-leaning, and if the European Union and NATO have been severely weakened over the years.
Mostly Hungary and Serbia.

NATO / the EU haven't really been weakened, per se; NATO has expanded to include Japan, NZ and Australia (effectively making it PATO), while it's not like the economic output of Spain, Hungary and Serbia are all that impactful in the long run.

Presumably Spain is no longer in NATO
Spain is out, but I'm pretty sure every member state of NATO realizes how they probably shouldn't keep them around.

but then I have to ask why doesn't NATO have a mechanism for expelling members like Mr. Wayne has demanded for Melenchon
It was a random European Parliament member from France that wanted to recognize the PRC-backed "reformed" regime, but 1) they're also a Green 2) Wayne at this point is fully unhinged so it's not like he gives a shit 3) would he have ever given a shit?

But the more complicated reason is solely due to how it could easily be abused, or whatever the reason for not having such a mechanism right now is.
 
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my utmost apologies for not noticing
That's alright - honestly it doesn't matter if it was the old man or the son. Both aren't going to have enough time to move into that Black Sea dacha anyways...

I thought the son would be a nicher choice.
 
Dude you lifted whole parts of this from one of my old posts. What gives?
It's pretty hard to impartially summarize a guy half-suiciding himself via car crash while sneaking away from secret service protection without sounding like we're all singing off the same hymn sheet (which one of us wrote, but that's besides the point).

I took inspiration vis a vis the "die in car after sneaking away from the USSS" part, but the rest of it is just how I imagine Wikipedia would retell it (agents testify...). The structure being similar is kind of inevitable if we're both imitating historic retelling.
 
Man the Deep Chocolate just can't catch a break can he?


From the same world;


Following the attempted assassination, Kennedy began to isolate himself further from his own administration. Any and all contact between the President and Lyndon Johnson, his Vice President, was buffeted by Robert Kennedy, the incumbent Attorney General, and his officiaries. Tho never mentioned in writing it is the general consensus of D.C. insiders that Kennedy was succumbing to a noticeable paranoia, possibly exacerbated by his deteriorating physical health as a result of the injuries he sustained in Dallas. It was in this crumbling state of mind that Kennedy decided that LBJ wouldn't be on the ticket for the upcoming reelection campaign. The main concerns of his inner circle were over possible loss of votes in the Bible Belt; however, the critical oversight was how incredulously Johnson would take this dismissal.

In an act of petty vengeance, Johnson, who Kennedy had once claimed "knows every reporter in Washington", began leaking all of Kennedy's various infidelities and vices to the press in a slow trickle. Before he could announce his campaign for reelection, the reporters were besieging him with numerous scandals involving Marilyn Monroe, the Chicago Outfit, Judith Exner, his back brace, Inga Arvad, and the many, many white house interns. RFK tried his best to stem the tide, but public opinion was dropping by the day, and Kennedy thusly became more and more isolated, often refusing to leave the Second Floor of the White House. Congress was on his heels like baying hounds and Camelot was set to collapse at any moment.

The breaking point came on the evening following two seperate bombshells in the press; that members of the 1964 DNC were courting both Senator Hubert Humphrey and Governor George Wallace as alternatives for the nomination, and allegations that First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy had privately discussed seeking a divorce lawyer. Sometime in the early morning, Kennedy exited the White House in his personal vehicle, a 1960 Lincoln Continental. Probing by the Church Committee has given rise to multitudes of conspiracy theories surrounding the proceedings, namely why the Secret Service allowed the President to operate a vehicle without an escort - George Hickey, the Service agent tasked with monitoring the grounds that early morning, noted that he never noticed the car leave the premises, nor claimed any sign that the President left his residence. Several eyewitnesses also report a nondescript black car driving towards Fort Washington in the early hours of the morning, with two seperate accounts claiming the vehicle 'drove slowly and erratically'.

Secret Service Agents found the President was missing from his quarters at 3:22am, less than half an hour later after his supposed departure, and initiated a search of the surrounding area. Officers of the Prince George County Police, responding to a phone call from a night watchman at Fort Washington Park reporting an abandoned vehicle, discovered the 1960 Lincoln Continental in the far corner of the Park's car lot, with the President inside, dead from a gunshot wound to the left temple. Subsequent investigation ruled the injury self-inflicted, owing to the revolver present in Kennedy's hand. His passing was announced later that morning at 10:00am, after his body was removed from the scene and the car impounded; the exact cause was not announced until the investigation began later that month, owing to public sensitivity.

The fact that the President had blown his mind out in a car is still considered one of the most significant events of the twentieth century. As mentioned, the circumstances of the event, as well as the incompetence leading up to it, sparked a multitude of conspiracy theories and subsequent loss of faith in the federal government. These theories differ wildly in scope, tho many agree that it was in all likelihood another assassination like the one attempted months prior (with culprits including LBJ, Jimmy Hoffa, Jacqueline Kennedy, Connie Bremen, James Earl Ray, etc.).

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bro come the fuck on
 
A1: HE’S NOT IN THE OVAL. CHECKING WEST GARAGE NOW.



BAD NEWS.

A1: ONE OF THE BEASTS IS MISSING.

A2: CHECK THE EXIT LOGS.

A3: ALREADY DONE; NO INS OR OUTS AFTER 1 AM.

A1: BULL-FUCKING-SHIT THERE WEREN’T ANY INS OR OUTS, A DAMN TANK IS MISSING —



911: THIS IS THE ARLINGTON COUNTY POLICE, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
C: ERR…THERE’S A CRAZY MAN ON THE ROAD.
911: COULD YOU GIVE A DESCRIPTION, PLEASE?
C: HIS WINDOWS WERE TINTED BUT HE WAS DRIVING A LARGE BLACK SEDAN. COULD BE A CADILLAC.
911: HOW WAS HE DRIVING?
C: HE WAS GOING AT LEAST 80 MILES AN HOUR, NEARLY CRASHED INTO ME — SWERVING A LOT TOO.
911: GOTCHA. WE’LL KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR HIM.



911: THIS IS THE FAIRFAX COUNTY POLICE, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
C: I JUST WITNESSED A CAR ACCIDENT.
911: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU WITNESSED THE CRASH?
C: IN HUNTINGTON, [address redacted]. IT WAS A BIG BLACK SEDAN, WITH D.C. PLATES, AND IT CRASHED RIGHT INTO A PARKED SUV ON SOMEONE’S DRIVEWAY
911: DID YOU SEE HOW THE SEDAN WAS MOVING PRIOR TO THE CRASH?
C: IT WAS GOING CRAZY — DRIVING AT AROUND 90 MILES IN THE SUBURBS FOR GOD’S SAKE! — AND THE DRIVER SEEMED TO BE UNCONSCIOUS OR INSANE. HE WAS SKIDDING ALL OVER THE PLACE, CRASHING INTO MAILBOXES AND TRASHBINS. HE NEARLY HIT ME TOO, AT ONE POINT!
911: DID YOU SEE ANYONE COME OUT OF THE CRASHED VEHICLE?
C: NOT THAT I COULD SEE, NO.
 
2025-20__: John Fetterman (Democratic)
'24 (with Beto O'Rourke) def. Jon Huntsman, Jr. / Savannah Maddox (Republican)
Fetterman's The Better Man!
Screenshot 2022-10-24 at 1.52.20 AM.png

2024 major party tickets:
Democratic Party
Presidential nominee: John Fetterman, Governor of Pennsylvania ('19-'25), Mayor of Braddock, PA ('06-'19)
Vice-presidential nominee: Beto O'Rourke, Senator from Texas ('19-'25), Representative from Texas ('13-'19), El Paso Mayor pro tempore ('05-'06), El Paso City Councillor ('05-'11)

Defeated candidates: Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey, Governor Clare E. Connors of Hawaii, Senator Joe Kennedy III of Massachusetts, Representative Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, etc


Republican Party
Presidential nominee: Jon Huntsman, Jr., Senator from Utah ('17-'23), Ambassador to the United Nations ('13-'16), Governor of Utah ('05-'13), other diplomatic posts
Vice-presidential nominee: Savannah Maddox, Senator from Kentucky ('23-pres.), Kentucky State Representative ('19-'23)

Defeated candidates: Former Senator Doug Collins of Georgia, Senator Nikki Haley of South Carolina, Governor Adam Laxalt of Nevada, Former Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, etc
 
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sorry

i can probably convert it into some kind of "yt historian thing", give me a moment

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Screenshot 2022-10-31 at 7.02.41 PM.png
Credit to @Orthogonian on the Other Place for the portrait.
Presidents of the United States of America:
1981-1987: Senator Joseph R. "Joe" Biden / Representative Corrine M. "Lindy" Boggs (Democratic)
'80 def. John Connally / Sandra Day O'Connor (Republican)
'84 def. John Tower / Lowell Weicker (Republican)

1987-1988: Vice President Corrine M. "Lindy" Boggs / Vacant (Democratic)
1988-1993: President Corrine M. "Lindy" Boggs / Senator William W. "Bill" Bradley (Democratic)
'88 def. Bob Dole / Jack Kemp (Republican)
1993-2001: Senator George W. Bush / Governor Terry E. Branstad (Republican)
'92: def. Lindy Boggs / Bill Bradley (Democratic), Donald Trump / Jerry Brown (Independent)
'96: def. Dick Gephardt / Zell Miller (Democratic), Jerry Brown / Ralph Nader (Progress!)

2001-2009: Governor H. Ross Perot / Senator Anthony Carroll "Tony" Knowles (Democratic)
'00 def. Terry Branstad / John McCain (Republican)
'04 def. Marc Racicot / John Ashcroft (Republican)

2009-2013: Senator Johnny R. "John" Edwards / Governor Judith H. "Judi" Dutcher (Democratic)
'08 def. John Kasich / J. C. Watts (Republican), Jerry Falwell Jr. / Jim Traficant (Constitution)
2013-2017: Senator Sarah L. Palin / Governor W. Mitt Romney (Republican)
'12: def. Judi Dutcher / Phil Bredesen (Democratic), Ben Cohen / Cindy Sheehan (Occupy!)
2017-pres.: Senator R. Hunter Biden / Governor Alison Lundergan Grimes (Democratic)
'16 def. Sarah Palin / Mitt Romney (Republican)
 
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Presidents of the United States of America (Washington, D.C. government):
2021-2025: Joe Biden / Kamala Harris (Democratic)
2025-2029: Ron DeSantis / Kim Reynolds (Republican)
2029-2029: Jon Ossoff / Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Democratic)

May 20, 2029: SCP-001 becomes temporarily active, Daybreak Scenario” occurs; exposure to sunlight will trigger both irreversible metaphysical alternation and a state of madness, as well as a cult-like devotion to the sun and exposing all who remain unaltered to its rays. U.S. Dept. of Defense and the SCP Foundation jointly trigger the “DAWN Contingencies”. As a side effect of the activation of SCP-001, solar flares knock out the vast majority of communication systems across the globe.
Presidents of the United States of America (Cheyenne Mountain Complex Continuity Government):
2029-2033: Jon Ossoff / Jake Sullivan (Democratic, then National Union)
2033-2037: Paul M. Nakasone / Jared Golden (Independent / National Union)
-32: def. Rashida Tlaib (Progressive), Joni Ernst (Reconquest)
2037-2041: Jason Crow / Cora Neumann (New Democracy)
-36: def. Maxwell Frost (Progressive), T. J. Shope (Reconquest)

Presidents of the United States of America (Juneau “North Star” Legitimist Government)
2029-2030: Peter Micciche / none (Republican) [Acting as Governor of Alaska]
2030-2036: Mary Peltola / Scott Kawasaki (Democratic—Reform)
-30: def. Sara Rasmussen (Conservative), Josiah Patkotak (Localist), Kelly Tshibaka (Our Union)
2036-2041: Scott Kawasaki / April Berg (People's Democratic)
-30: def. Josh Revak (Unionist), Josiah Patkotak (Conservation)

Presidents of the United States of America (Shreveport “Holy War” Legitimist Government):
2029-2037: Tom Cotton / Markwayne Mullin (Republican, then For God and Country)
-29: effectively unopposed
-33: def. Mauree Turner (People’s), Walt Maddox (Country First)

2037-2041: Jake LaTurner / Shad White (For God and Country)
-37: def. Randall Woodfin (Our Country), Kris Kobach (Patriot)

Presidents of the United States of America (Raven Rock—Greenbrier Facilities “Congressional” Legitimist Government):
2029-2029: Josh Shapiro / none (Democratic) [Acting as Governor of Pennsylvania]
2029-2033: Ezra Cohen-Watnick / Conor Lamb (National Union)
-29: def. Josh Shapiro (Democratic), Ronny M. Jackson (Republican)
2033-2036: Dan Crenshaw / Josh Gottheimer (National Union)
-32: def. Ayanna Pressley (Progressive)
-36: Greenbrier facilities fully breached, Raven Rock facility is evacuated with over 60% casualties; Raven Rock remnants merge with Cheyenne Mountain remnants

Presidents / General Secretaries of the Free Floridian Republic (Floridian Secessionist Cyberhumanist Government):
2029-2033: Ron DeSantis / Dane Eagle (Libertine Alliance)
-29: def. Nikki Fried (National Democratic), Anthony Sabatini (New Republican)
2033-2041: Ron DeSantis (Floridian National Alliance)
-33: def. Lauren Book (Renewal)
-37: effectively unopposed
-41: effectively unopposed


Maximum Leaders of the New American Technate (Silicon Valley Transhumanist Corpocratic Government)
2029-2041: Elon Musk (Techno-Liberalist, as part of Technate Consortium Inc.)
-29: def. Steve Huffman (Let Freedom Ring)
-34: effectively unopposed
-39: effectively unopposed

2041-2041: NetLink-MMXL (Artifical Intelligence)

Leaders of the “United States of America” (Pseudolegitimist Collaborator Pro-Sun Government)
2029-2041: Matt Gaetz (Ǻ̷̧͖̭͕̟̾̄̃̚̕͝L̸͕͙̭̀̑̎̅̽͑̾̊͋̕L̶̡͙̬̙̰̗̹̖͐̀̍̂̓͆̕ ̵͙̫͉̭̌̓̏̉Ȟ̷̛̩̏̒̌̄̋̂͘͝Á̸̺͚͉̙͓̌̇̂̊̒̏̕Į̶̟̪̜͍͈̈́͐͝Ĺ̵͉̒̏͘) [De jure; listed as “leader” due to greatest number of confirmed auditory matches]
 
from that Biden '80 list.

Presidents of the United States: Term lengths, lifespans, and portraits

Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 1.07.54 AM.png
Senator Joseph R. "Joe" Biden (Democratic; Delaware)
1981-1987
(b. 1942, d. 2004; 61 years)

Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 1.14.26 AM.png

Governor Robert Hunter Biden (Democratic; Pennsylvania)
2017-20??
(b. 1970 - ; 49 years)
 
The World Ahead: 2032 United States presidential election, list of Presidents of the United States
Say it with me now: Re-boot! Re-boot!

Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 8.41.39 PM.png
Presidents of the United States of America:
2021-2027: Former Vice President Joe Biden (Democratic | Delaware)
(With Senator Kamala Harris)
'20: def. Pres. Donald Trump / Vice Pres. Mike Pence (R)
'24: def. Gov. Ron DeSantis / Sen. Joni Ernst (R)
'27: Resignation of Joe Biden following a stroke.
2027-2029: Vice President Kamala Harris (Democratic | California)
(With none, then Former Governor Andy Beshear)
2029-2031: Senator Josh Hawley (Republican)
(With Former Representative Tulsi Gabbard)
'28: def. Frm. UN Ambassador Pete Buttigieg / Vice Pres. Andy Beshear (D), Frm. Rep. Justin Amash / Frm. State Rep. Tony Labranche (I)
2033-2039: Former House Speaker Bruce Wayne (Democratic | New York)
(With Governor Jena Griswold)
'32: def. Pres. Josh Hawley / Vice Pres. Tulsi Gabbard (R)
'36: def. Frm. Gov. Ammon Bundy / Frm. Sen. Ivanka Trump (R), Frm. Defense Sec. Paul Nakasone / Commentator S. E. Cupp (I/F)
'39: Abrupt resignation of Bruce Wayne following several months of (relative) calm.
2039-2045: Vice President Jena Griswold (Democratic | Colorado)
(With none, then Former Homeland Security Secretary Dan Feehan ['39 - '41] and Senator Park Cannon ['41 - '45])
'40: def. Gov. Beth Fukumoto / Sen. Josiah Patkotak (F), Sen. Mike Gallagher [replacing Jack Francis] / Gov. Kurt Daudt (R), Rep. Brace Belden / Frm. Rep. Brittany Ramos DeBarros (P)
Democratic
Republican
2020: Joe Biden [won]
def. Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Mike Bloomberg, etc
2024: Joe Biden (i) [won]
def. Nina Turner
2028: Pete Buttigieg
def. Matt Cartwright, Kamala Harris (i)
2032: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez [presumptive; dropped out]
2032: Bruce Wayne [won]
def. London Breed, Ron Nirenberg, Jared Golden, S. E. Cupp, Tim Ryan, etc
2036: Bruce Wayne (i) [won]
def. Adam Kinzinger, Briahna Joy Gray
2040: Jena Griswold (i) [won]
def. Zoraya Hightower, Jared Golden
2020: Donald Trump (i)
def. Bill Weld, etc
2024: Ron DeSantis
def. Nikki Haley, Mike Pence, Tom Cotton, Donald Trump †, Larry Hogan, etc
2028: Josh Hawley [won]
def. Kanye West, Nikki Haley, Todd Young, etc
2032: Josh Hawley (i)
def. Erin Stewart, Donald Trump Jr.
2036: Ammon Bundy
def. Frank LaRose, Ben Shapiro, Tulsi Gabbard, Kash Patel, etc
2040: Jack Francis [replaced]
def. Erin Stewart, T. J. Shope, Mike Gallagher, Ebo Entsuah, etc
2040 emergency ballot: Mike Gallagher [elected unopposed]

Colors:
Democratic - 2969B0
Republican - D40000
Independent - 888888
Forward - 996699
People's - 00CC99
 
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2022 American presidential election, second round:
Former President Rod Blagojevich / Representative Cedric Richmond (Labor - Hold Your Head High)
- 50.90%
President Michael Flynn / Vice President Ted Budd (Democrat - Make America Great Again!) - 49.10%

Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 4.10.17 PM.png Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 4.10.48 PM.png
 
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The World Ahead: 2032 United States senate elections
Screenshot 2022-11-01 at 9.06.35 PM.png

Key races:
Alaska: Lt. Governor Scott Kawasaki (D) def. incumbent Dan Sullivan (R)
D Gain; D +4.8%

Iowa:
Incumbent Joni Ernst (R) def. Des Moines Mayor Indira Sheumaker (D)
R Hold; R +3.3%

Kansas:
Frm. State Attorney General Josh Svaty (D) def. incumbent Roger Marshall (R)
D Gain; D +4.8%

Kentucky:
Incumbent Daniel Cameron (R) def. frm. Vice President Andy Beshear (D)
R Hold; R +1.9%

Louisiana:
Incumbent Julia Letlow (R) def. State Senator Luke Mixon (D)
R Hold; R +7.8%

Montana:
Representative Tom Winter (D) def. incumbent Steve Daines (R)
D Gain; D +6.8%

Mississippi:
Frm. Governor Brandon Presley (D) def. incumbent Tate Reeves (R)
D Gain; D +8.8%

Nebraska:
State House Speaker
Tony Vargas (D) def. Frm. Governor Jim Pillen (R)
D Gain; D +1.1%

New Hampshire:
Representative
Rebecca Kwoka (D) def. incumbent Chris Sununu (R)
D Gain; D +4.9%

North Carolina:
Representative
Natalie Murdock (D) def. incumbent Bo Hines (R)
D Gain; D +7.2%

South Carolina:
Incumbent
Nancy Mace (R) def. State Senator Judd Larkins (D)
R Hold; R +3.9%

Texas: State Attorney General Lina Hidalgo (D) def. incumbent Dan Crenshaw (R)
D Gain; D +5.8%
 
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