allthepresidentmen's test site

[allthepresidentsmen]

Well, everyone's doing it.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom:
2019-2022: Boris Johnson (Conservative)
-19 (Majority): def. Jeremy Corbyn (Labour), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Jo Swinson (Liberal Democrats)
2022-2024: Liz Truss (Conservative)
2024-2034: Sir Keir Starmer (Labour)
-24 (Majority): def. Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Liz Truss (Conservative), Carla Denyer & Adrian Ramsey (Green)
-25 Scottish independence referendum: NO 52.4%, YES 47.6%
-28 (Majority): def. Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats), Caroline Lucas (Green), Kemi Badenoch (Conservative), Jo Cherry (SNP)
-32 (Lab-LibDem coalition): def. Caroline Lucas & Zac Goldsmith (Green), Chuka Umunna (Liberal Democrats), James Cleverly (Conservative), Humza Yousaf (SNP)
-32 EU "Breturn" referendum: YES 54.4%, NO 45.6%
2034-20XX: Bridget Phillipson (Labour)
-34 (Majority): def. Caroline Lucas & Chris Skidmore (Green), Priti Patel (BPP), Layla Moran (Liberal Democrats), Chris Philps (Conservative)
-38 (Minority; likely Lab-LibDem coalition with "Left Green" C&S): def. Ed Gemmell (Green), Lewis Brackpool (BPP), Tara Copeland & Luke Evans (LibDem-Tory coupon)

2038 United Kingdom general election
Labour (CC0033) — 263 seats
Green (00A885) — 202 seats
British People’s (003366) — 123 seats
LibDem - Tory coupon (FBA026 - 3399CC)— 52 seats
SNP (F7DA64) — 3 seats
Others — 7 seats

Someone on the Other Place suggested the idea of the Greens benefitting from a Tory collapse, so here we are.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

The Blue-Greens: The Rise of the Green Party
Prologue: Opposition? What opposition?

​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

S T A R M E R P U N K

​

Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom:
2019-2022: Boris Johnson (Conservative)
-19 (Majority of 80): def. Jeremy Corbyn (Labour), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Jo Swinson (Liberal Democrats)
2022-2024: Liz Truss (Conservative)
2024-20XX: Sir Keir Starmer (Labour)
-24 (Majority of 346): def. Liz Truss (Conservative), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats)
-25 Scottish independence referendum: NO 54.4%, YES 45.6%
-26 partial PR referendum: YES 53.3%, NO 46.7%
-28 (Majority of 280): def. Kemi Badenoch (Conservative), Chuka Umunna (Liberal Democrats), Jo Cherry (SNP), Amelia Womack (Green)
-29 EU membership referendum: YES 55.9%, NO 44.1%
-32 (Majority of 200): def. Tom Tugendhat (Conservative), Carla Denyer (Green), Chuka Umunna (Liberal Democrats), Louis Stedman-Bryce (White Rose), Humza Yousaf (SNP)
-36 (Majority of 214): def. Tom Tugendhat (Conservative), Carla Denyer & Layla Moran (Green-LibDem Coalition), Lewis Brackpool (White Rose), Zarah Sultana (Momentum)
-40 (Majority of 156): def. Luke Evans (Conservative), Lucas North (Democratic), Darren Grimes (White Rose), Zarah Sultana (Momentum)
-44 (Majority of 62): def. Jack Rydeheard (Conservative), Lucas North (Democratic), Darren Grimes (White Rose), Jane Baston (Momentum)

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

The Old Man And The Rising Sea

​

Presidents of the United States of America
1989-1993: George Bush (Republican)
1988 (w. Jack Kemp) def. Al Gore / Jerry Blanchard (Democratic)
1993-1996: Paul Tsongas (Democratic)
1992 (w. Dave McCurdy) def. George Bush / Jack Kemp (Republican)
1996-1997: Dave McCurdy (Democratic)
1997-2002: John McCain (Republican)
1996 (w. Carroll Campbell) def. Jerry Brown / Jim Hightower (Progress), Dick Gephardt / Jim Hunt (Democratic)
2000 (w. Tom Ridge) def. Ralph Nader / Jim Guy Tucker (Democratic), H. Ross Perot Sr. / Jesse Ventura (Independent)
2002-2005: Tom Ridge (Republican)
2005-2009: Mickey Leland (Democratic)
2004 (w. Stephen Lynch) def. Tom Ridge / J. C. Watts (Republican), Jerry Falwell Jr. / Pat Buchanan (Moral Majority)
2009-2017: Mike Huckabee (Republican)
2008 (w. Roy Blunt) def. Mickey Leland / Stephen Lynch (Democratic)
2012 (w. Roy Blunt) def. Gary Hart / Russ Carnahan (Democratic)
2017-2021: H. Ross Perot Jr. (Republican)
2016 (w. Jeff Kottkamp) def. Caroline Kennedy / Bill Clinton (Democratic), Ralph Nader / Nina Turner (Green)
2021-20XX: Al Gore (Democratic)
2020 (w. Rev. William Barber II) def. H. Ross Perot Jr. / Jeff Kottkamp (Republican)

Credit to @Wolfram for the title.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Adapting a US-in-UK list by @Charles EP M. into a more detailed thing.

Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom
1961-1963: Jonathan O'Kennedy (Liberal; Lib.-Lab. coalition)
-60 (Coalition): def. Richard Nixon (Conservative), Estes Kefauver (Lab)
1963-1964: Lyndon Johnson (Labour; Lib.-Lab. coalition)
1964-1969: Lyndon Johnson (Labour)
-64: def. Robert O'Kennedy (Liberal), B. Morris Goldwater (Conservative)
-68: def. Richard Nixon (Con), Ed Muskie (Liberal), George Wallace (British People's)
1969-1975: Richard Nixon (Conservative)
-70 (Minority): def. Horace Humphrey (Labour), Ed Muskie (Liberal), John Schmitz (British People's)
-72: def. Stanley McGovern (Labour), Roger MacBride (Liberal)
1975-1976: Leslie Ford (Conservative)
1976-1981: James E. Carter (Labour)
-76: def. Leslie Ford (Conservative), Teddy O'Kennedy (Liberal)
1981-1990: Ronald Reagan (Conservative)
-81: def. James E. Carter (Labour), Teddy O'Kennedy (Liberal)
-85: def. Warren Hart (Labour), Paul Tsongas (Liberal)
-88: def. Michael Dukakis (Labour), Edmund G. Brown (Liberal), Ross Perot (New Way)
1990-1992: Sir George Bush, 2nd Baronet; Baron Bush of Danderhall (Conservative)
1992-2001: Bill Clinton (Labour)
-92: def. The Lord Bush of Danderhall (Conservative), Ross Perot (Liberal - New Way coupon)
-96: def. Robert Dole (Conservative), Edmund G. Brown (Democratic)
2001-2001: Albert Gore Jr. (Labour)
2001-2009: George Bush Jr. (Conservative)
-01 (Minority): def. Albert Gore Jr. (Labour), Edmund G. Brown (Democratic), Patrick Buchanan (UKIP)
-03: def. Andy Gephardt (Labour), Joseph Lieberman (Democratic), Donald Trump (UKIP)
-05: def. Johnny Edwards (Labour), Howard Dean (Democratic), Donald Trump (Great British Party)
2009-2017: Barack Obama (Labour)
-09: def. Sir Jack McCain (Conservative), Donald Trump (GBP), Howard Dean (Democratic)
-12: def. Mitt Romney (Conservative), Donald Trump (GBP), Michael Bloomberg (Democratic), Howard Hawkins (Solidarity)
-16 (Minority): def. John E. Bush (Conservative), Donald Trump (GBP), Bernard Sanders (Solidarity)
2017-2017: Hillary Rodham-Clinton (Labour)
2017-2020: Donald Trump (Great British Party; GBP-Tory coalition)
-17 (Coalition): def. Hillary Rodham-Clinton (Labour), Paul Ryan (Conservative), Bernard Sanders (Solidarity)
2020-20XX: Sir Joseph Biden, 1st Baronet (Labour; Lab.-Sol. coalition)
-20 (Coalition): def. Donald Trump (GBP), The Lord Romney of Furness (Conservative), Bernard Sanders (Solidarity), Mike Bloomberg (Liberal Democratic)

At this point I'm just re-adding all my stuff onto this thread.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Presidents of the United States of America
1981-1989: Robert Redford (Liberty Union)

-80 (with Gary Hart): def. John B. Anderson / John Connally (Republican), Jimmy Carter / Fritz Mondale (People's)​

-84 (with Gary Hart): def. Ralph Yarborough / Birch Bayh (People's), Robert Taft Jr. / John Warner (Republican)​

1989-1993: Gary Hart (Liberty Union)

-88 (with John Kerry): def. Jim Hunt / Frank Church (People's), Bill Clinton / Ed Koch (Republican)​

1993-2001: Jay Rockefeller (Republican)

-92 (with Slade Gorton): def. Gary Hart / John Kerry (Liberty Union), Carl Levin / Dale Bumpers (People's)​

-96 (with Slade Gorton): def. Mark Warner / Skip Humphrey (People's), Nancy Pelosi / Mickey Leland (Liberty Union)​

2001-2009: Joe Sestak (People's)

-00 (with Mitch Landrieu): def. Slade Gorton / Joe Scarborough (Republican), Hillary Rodham / Ron Reagan (Liberty Union)​

-04 (with Mitch Landrieu): def. Paul Wellstone / Jesse Jackson Jr. (Liberty Union), Richard Mourdock / John Kasich (Republican)​

2009-2013: Eliot Spitzer (Liberty Union)

-08 (with Sherrod Brown): def. Gary Johnson / Bill Frist (Republican), Mitch Landrieu / Howard Dean (People's)​

2013-2015: John Edwards (People's)

-12 (with Lori Swanson): def. Tom Ridge / Cory Gardner (Republican), Sherrod Brown / Bobby Scott (Liberty Union)​

-15: Resignation of John Edwards amidst federal investigation into campaign fund misuse, etc.​

2015-2017: Lori Swanson (People's)

-16: Confirmation and swearing-in of Ron Kirk as Vice President.​

2017-2021: Danny Tarkanian (Republican)

-16 (with Bill Schutte): def. Gary Hart / Nina Turner (Liberty Union), Lori Swanson / Ron Kirk (People's)​

2021-0000: Richard Ojeda (Liberty Union)

-20 (with Mark Parkinson): def. Jason Carter / Stephen Lynch (People's), Danny Tarkanian / Bill Schutte (Republican)​

Essentially the Liberty Union are populist progressives, People's are sometimes-populist centrist-liberals, and the Republicans are moderate-to-conservative.

***​

https://www.denverpost.com/2015/06/05/tankersley-john-edwards-lost-2008-but-hes-already-won-2016/

Taking this article's headline at face value, but making a hard dystopia out of it:

Presidents of the United States of America
1981-1981: Ronald Reagan † (Republican)

1980 (with George Bush): def. Jimmy Carter / Walter Mondale (Democratic), John B. Anderson / Pat Lucey (Independent)​

1981: Assassination of Ronald Reagan​

1981-1981: George Bush † (Republican)

1981: Air Force One disappears after Bush is sworn in en-route from Dallas to Washington, D.C.; Bush presumed dead​

1981-1982: Alexander Haig (Republican)
1982-1991: Alexander Haig (National Union)

1984 (with Paul Laxalt): def. George McGovern / Frank Church (Democratic), John B. Anderson / Walter Mondale (Independent)​

1991-1995: Paul Tsongas † (Democratic)

1990 (with Jerry Brown): def. Paul Laxalt / Clayton Williams (Republican), Ross Perot / Jack Kemp (Independent)​

1995: Death of Paul Tsongas from state-four pancreatic cancer​

1995-1996: Jerry Brown (Democratic)
1996-1997: Jerry Brown (Progress)
1997-1999: Pat Buchanan † (Republican)

1996 (with Carroll Campbell): def. Jerry Brown / Mickey Leland (Progress), Dick Gephardt / Jim Hunt (Democratic)​

1999: Assassination of Pat Buchanan​

1999-2000: Carroll Campbell (Republican)

2000: Resignation of Carroll Campbell over Alzheimer's diagnosis​

2000-2004: Oliver North (All-American)

2002 (with Lindsey Graham): def. Ralph Nader / Al Gore (Democratic), John Sununu / Mike Crapo (Republican)​

2009-2011: Jesse Ventura (Democratic)

2008 (with Elizabeth Herring): def. Oliver North / Lindsey Graham (All-American), Mike Bloomberg / Gordon Smith (Republican)​

2011: August Coup removes Ventura, Herring, etc from power, re-instating Oliver North as president​

2011-2012: Oliver North / Dick Cheney † / Paul Wolfowitz / Michael Hayden / others (All-American supported by military junta)

2012: Death of Dick Cheney from a heart attack​

2012-2013: Oliver North / Paul Wolfowitz / Michael Hayden / others (All-American supported by military junta)
2013-2021: Oliver North † (All-American)

2012 retention referendum: 87.7% YES ​

2014: Election delayed by two years due to "extraneous circumstances"​

2016 (with Erik Prince): def. John Edwards / Kamala Harris (People's), Eric Greitens / Randy Credico (Democratic) [disputed]​

2020 retention referendum: 67.1% YES ​

2021: Death of Oliver North due to a "heart stroke"; whistleblowers allege palace coup and subsequent detention / murder​

2021-2025: Erik Prince (All-American)

2024 (with Kris Kobach): def. Mark Cuban / Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Independent-People's-Democratic), John E. Bush / Lee Carter (People's Front) [disputed]​

2025: Second American Civil War begins following the Washington Siege by the "New Bonus Army" led by retired General Mark Milley​

2025-20__: DISPUTED; beginning of the Second American Civil War

2025: Disputed between Mark Milley / John Edwards / Kathy Hochul (Restore Democracy Compact), Erik Prince / Ken Cuccinelli (Patriot Front), John E. Bush / Brace Belden / Lee Carter (American Liberation Front)​

I'm proud of how I made Jeb! a socialist revolutionary.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

"It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs."
Or: How Margaret Thatcher Ended Up Bringing In An Era of Women Prime Ministers Despite Getting The Boot In '82 Somehow​

"In all of British political history, there has arguably been no fall from grace more dramatic than that of Margaret Thatcher. Her landslide loss in 1983 to Tony Benn triggered many claims that her premiership had poisoned the well for all future women PM-aspirants. And yet, every subsequent PM to have won a general election after her landslide loss in 1983 (with the exception of the aforementioned Benn) has been a woman - whether they be steadfast conservatives like Bottomley, moderates like Kirkbride and Kelly, or leftists like Truss.

Using your own knowledge and the above prompt, evaluate the view that Margaret Thatcher paved the way for subsequent female Prime Ministers."
- British A-Level Politics 30-mark question, 2023

Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
1979-1982: Margaret Thatcher (Conservative)
1979 (Majority): def. James Callaghan (Labour), David Steel (Liberal)
1982-1983: Geoffrey Howe (Conservative)
1983-1993: Tony Benn (Labour)
1983 (Majority): def. Geoffrey Howe (Conservative), David Steel & Roy Jenkins (Liberal - SDP Alliance)
1987 (Majority): def. Michael Heseltine (Conservative), David Steel & David Owen (Liberal - SDP Alliance)
1992 (Minority): def. Chris Patten (Conservative), David Owen (Democratic)
1993-1998: Margaret Beckett (Labour)
1994 (Minority, coalition with Democratic): def. Chris Patten (Conservative), Paddy Ashdown (Democratic)
1998-2009: Virginia Bottomley (Conservative)
1998 (Majority): Margaret Beckett (Labour), Paddy Ashdown (Democratic)
2002 (Majority): Jack Straw (Labour), Menzies Campbell (Democratic), Jeremy Corbyn (Independent Labour - Socialist Campaign Group)
2006 (Majority): Alan Johnson (Labour), Vince Cable (Democratic)
2009-2010: Dominic Grieve (Conservative)
2010-Apr. 2017: Ruth Kelly (Labour)
2010 (Minority, coalition with Democratic): def. Dominic Grieve (Conservative), Simon Hughes (Democratic)
2012 (Majority): def. John Bercow (Conservative), Simon Hughes (Democratic)
Mar. 2017 (Minority): def. Oliver Letwin (Conservative), Nick Clegg (Democratic), Alex Salmond (SNP)
Apr.-Jul. 2017: Tony Blair (Labour)
2017-2022: Julie Kirkbride (Conservative)
Jul. 2017 (Majority): def. Tony Blair (Labour), Alex Salmond (SNP), Nick Clegg (Democratic), John McDonnell (Independent Labour - Socialist Campaign Group), Nigel Farage (Sovereignty)
2022-0000: Elizabeth Truss (Labour)
2022 (Majority): def. Julie Kirkbride (Conservative), Rishi Sunak (Democratic), John Swinney & Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nigel Farage (Sovereignty), Alex Salmond (Alba)

Colours:
Labour: E04646
Conservative: 3494FA
Liberal: FAC51C
SDP: 9365B8
Democratic: 9900FF
SNP: FBA026
Sovereignty: 475577
Independent Labour - Socialist Campaign Group: B8312F
Alba: 3366CC

And yes, I did enjoy screwing Blair by making him the shortest-serving PM of all time (three months, Tonbridge Briar! THREE MONTHS! Shouldn't have knifed Kelly now should ya, you [expletive]?)

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Presidents of the United States of America
1969-1972: Richard Nixon † (Republican)
1968 (with Spiro Agnew): def. Hubert Humphrey / Carl Sanders (Democratic), George Wallace / Curtis LeMay (All-American)
1972-1974: Spiro Agnew (Republican)
1972 (with Chuck Percy): def. Ed Muskie / Terry Sanford (Democratic)
1974-1977: Chuck Percy (Republican)
1977-1981: Robert F. Kennedy † (Democratic)
1976 (with Jimmy Carter): def. Chuck Percy / George Bush (Republican)
1980 (with Jimmy Carter): def. Phyllis Schlafly / Daniel J. Evans (Republican), Charles Mathias / John Anderson (Independent)
November 4, 1980: Rep. Nancy Pelosi is elected to the U.S. Senate from Maryland, defeating Larry Hogan Sr.
March 10, 1981: Former RNC staffer Ted Bundy, convinced that the Democratic Party rigged the election against Schlafly and Evans, assassinates Pres. Kennedy in Seattle.
1981-1985: Jimmy Carter (Democratic)
June 23, 1981: Minnesota Governor Rudy Perpich is confirmed as Vice President.
1985-1993: Dick Lugar (Republican)
1984 (with Pete du Pont): def. Jimmy Carter / Rudy Perpich (Democratic)
August 14, 1988: Delaware Senator Joe Biden passes away following a debilitating aneurysm on the eve of the DNC; Nancy Pelosi gains national attention for her well-received eulogy.
1988 (with Pete du Pont): def. Henry Cisneros [replacing Joe Biden †] / Paul Tsongas (Democratic)
1993-2001: Nancy Pelosi (Democratic)
1992 (with Roland Burris): def. Pete du Pont / Bill Paxon (Republican)
1996 (with Roland Burris): def. Donald Trump / John Sununu Sr. (Republican), Pat Buchanan / Rick Santorum (Constitution)
June 22, 1997: Pres. Pelosi ends the "One China" Policy implemented by the Agnew administration by visiting Taipei and pledging American support against any armed incursion by the People's Republic of China; the Third Taiwan Straits Crisis begins when General Secretary Li Peng responds by blockading the island and ends when Li is removed from power in October.
August 5, 1999: Pres. Pelosi demands that PRC General Secretary Zhu Rongji formally apologize for the Chinese government's response to the 1989 Tiananmen protests and formally rescind all claims on Taiwan for entry into the World Trade Organization
2001-????: Roland Burris (Democratic)
2000 (with Al Gore): def. Tommy Thompson / Susan Molinari (Republican)

Democratic: #FFCC33
Republican: #2C82C9
Constitution: #9365B8

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

I apologize for this.

Be Careful What You Wish For​

Presidents of the United States of America
2017-2021: Donald Trump (Republican)
2016 (with Mike Pence): def. Hillary Clinton / Tom Perez (Democratic)
2021-2026: Bernie Sanders (Democratic)
2020 (with Amy Klobuchar): def. Donald Trump / Mike Pence (Republican)
2024 (with Amy Klobuchar): def. Rick Scott / Kristi Noem (Republican)
2026-2029: Amy Klobuchar (Democratic)
2029-0000: Blake Masters (Republican)
2028 (with Derek Schmidt) def. Maura Healey [replacing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez] / Mandela Barnes (Democratic), Andrew Yang / Bari Weiss (Vision '28)

Generally speaking, Bernie wasn't a very lucky president. David Perdue edging out Jon Ossoff in the hotly-contested senate runoff (and thus giving senate control to Mitch McTurtle for two years more) wasn't exactly a good start to his time in the White House. Neither was a series of economic downturns and foreign crises, from the collapse of the Afghan government to the Taiwan standoff, when the Seventh Fleet collided with the PLAN (in some cases literally) as Speaker Pelosi's plane glided about in the crosshairs of Chinese fighter jets. Still, things looked like they were going well. Democrats won the Senate in 2022 (despite losing the gavel to Kevin McCarthy), and Bernie was re-elected in a surprising slam-dunk as the economy picked up in the fall of 2024 (though to be fair, he was going up against Rick Fucking Scott) and people were generally unbothered about the status quo.

Things went to shit soon afterwards.

To this day, no one knows if it was the diagnosis of Stage 4 bowel cancer or too much expired rice wine, but Xi Jinping decided - entirely on a whim - that he was going to be the Great Reunifier or die trying. As the PLAN made quick work of Taiwan's concerningly weak naval forces, the American Seventh Fleet panickily sprang into action, managing to hold the Chinese fleet to just east of Penghu, with a handful of American cruisers and smaller ships being sank or scuttled and China losing 50% of their functioning aircraft carriers in the process. What followed was an uneasy stalemate - American ships blockaded the Strait of Malacca and the southern Chinese coast, while the mauled PLAN stared down the massed American fleet. It took three months, but eventually (read: after two palace coups, a minor rebellion in several cities, and the loss of several more ships) the PLAN withdrew, claiming that the attempted invasion had been an "anti-sedition police operation" and thus victory (because of course they did).
The economy was wrecked and US-China relations lay in smoldering ruins, but everything was still fine.

Then Sanders had a heart attack.

Then another.

Then a hemorrhagic stroke.

Resigning from office on the 25th of October, the 46th President of the United States headed home to Burlington to die retire, leaving the White House in the hands of Amy Klobuchar. While the sympathy bump from Sanders' untimely departure netted Democrats the Senate (propelling Bee Nguyen to a shock victory over the increasingly-doddering Perdue and Jeff Jackson to victory over Governor Mark Robinson), Klobuchar found herself increasingly out of sync with both the party and the nation. Ultimately, she went out not with a bang but with a whimper, as allegations of abuse from her days in Number One Observatory Circle proved to be the wooden stake through the chest that finished off her 2028 hopes. For a while, it seemed that New York Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would be the American Left's light in the dark, finally reviving the promise of Sanders' movement.

Then a neo-Nazi shot her in Baltimore.

The DNC — even more chaotic than 1968, and ironically sinking into the ground rather than rising from the ashes like the namesake of its host city — cycled through several elections' worth of candidates (California's Senator Porter and ex-Governor Newsom, Pennsylvania's Senator Fetterman, Maryland's Governor Moore and Senator Raskin, home-state favorites Senator Feehan and The Klobberer, Virginia's Governor Foy, Michigan's Senator Benson, Secretary Kunce, ex-First Lady Michelle Obama, Oregon's Governor Read and Senator Fagan, Illinois' Senator Duckworth, Vermont's Governor Gray and Senator Donovan, Texas' Senator Castro, Washington's Governor Ferguson...) before settling on third-placer Maura Healey and Wisconsin progressive Mandela Barnes. Meanwhile, the Republican nomination fell to Arizona Senator Blake Masters (winning 2024 in an upset when Sinema decided to go out in a blaze of whatever-the-fuck-she-was-made-of when Gallego won the nomination by 23 points), campaigning on a far-right platform of neo-Trumpism, reactionary conservatism, and neo-isolationism. Despite all the flagrant sexuality-baiting and race-baiting, despite the GOP's approval of negative 17, despite it all - a divided Democratic Party and hyper-centrist splinter ticket proved to be sufficient for Peter Thiel's pet candidate to come through in the Electoral College.

It is 2030. Hu Haifeng's China is practically salivating over Taiwan, India and Brazil are in states of civil war between militant leftists and far-right reactionaries, much of Russia has become an Arctic-based remake of Mad Max, and the U.S. is doing...whatever the crypto-fellating, social-media-manipulating, 4chan-wet-dreaming fuck Blake Master considers to be 'truly American'.

The Free World looks to the leadership of Western Europe — Keir Starmer, Annalena Baerbock, Rob Jetten Ahmed Aboutaleb — in these trying times.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

C H A O S​

2010-2013: David Cameron (Conservative)
2010 (Minority, C&S with LibDem backbenchers): Gordon Brown (Labour), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats), None (LibDem backbenchers)
2010 Labour leadership election: Hilary Benn def. David Miliband, Ed Balls, Diane Abbott, etc
2013 Conservative leadership election: Boris Johnson def. George Osborne, Steven Crabb, Amber Rudd, etc
2013-2017: Boris Johnson (Conservative)
2015 (Minority, C&S with UKIP): Hilary Benn (Labour), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats), Nigel Farage (UKIP)
2015 Labour leadership election: Tom Watson def. John McDonnell, Andy Burnham, etc
2016 'Brexit' 1st Referendum: 50.3% NO—49.7% YES
2017 Conservative leadership election: Andrea Leadsom def. George Osborne, etc
2017-2020: Andrea Leadsom (Conservative)
2017 (Minority, coalition with UKIP): Tom Watson (Labour), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats)
2017 Labour leadership election: Ed Miliband def. John McDonnell
2019 'Brexit' 2nd Referendum: 53.3% NO—46.7% YES
2020-2020: David Cameron (Conservative) [acting]
2020 Conservative leadership election: Jacob Rees-Mogg def. Amber Rudd, Jeremy Hunt, etc
2020-present: Ed Milliband (Labour)
2020 (Majority): def. Jacob Rees-Mogg (Conservative), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Jo Swinson (Liberal Democrats), Jo Cherry (SNP)

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

@Tsar of New Zealand gave me an idea of making Tennessee Ernie Ford (the guy who sang Union Dixie in all those memes, etc) the equivalent to LBJ, so have a list.

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died​

Presidents of the United States of America
1961-1965: Vice President Richard Nixon (Republican)
1960 (with Henry Cabot Lodge Jr.) def. Stuart Symington / Ed Muskie (Democratic)
1965-1973: Minnesota Senator Hubert Humphrey (Democratic)
1964 (with John Connally) def. Richard Nixon / Henry Cabot Lodge Jr. (Republican)
1968 (with Pat Brown) def. Nelson Rockefeller / Jerry Ford (Republican), John Connally / Louise Day Hicks (Connally For America)
1973-1975: Wisconsin Governor Bronson La Follette (Democratic) [assassinated]
1972 (with Ernest Ford) def. Richard Nixon / Bob Dole (Republican)
1975-1981: Vice President Ernest J. "Tennessee Ernie" Ford (Democratic)
1976 (with George McGovern) def. Spiro Agnew / Paul Laxalt (Republican)
1981-1985: New York Governor Jack F. Kemp (Republican)
1980 (with Dick Lugar) def. George McGovern / Andrew Young (Democratic), John Connally / Jim Webb (Connally For America)
1985-1987: Former President Ernest J. Ford † (Democratic) [died in office]
1984 (with Lindy Boggs) def. Jack F. Kemp / Dick Lugar (Republican), Pat Robertson / Jerry Falwell (Independent)
1987-1993: Vice President Lindy Boggs (Democratic)
1988 (with Ted Wilson) def. Pete du Pont / John B. Anderson (Republican), Pat Robertson / Claude Kirk (Moral Majority)
1993-1997: Connecticut Governor Joe Lieberman (Republican)
1992 (with Sonny Bono) def. Lindy Boggs / Ted Wilson (Democratic)
1997-2005: Nebraska Governor Dick Cheney (Democratic)
1996 (with Skip Humphrey) def. Joe Lieberman / Sonny Bono (Republican), Donald Trump / Jack Welch (Independent)
2000 (with Skip Humphrey) def. Sonny Bono / Lisa Murkowski (Republican), Donald Trump / Peter Navarro (Freedom)
2005-2009: Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin (Democratic)
2004 (with Marty Walsh) def. Bob Corker / Abel Maldonado (Republican)
2009-2013: Colorado Senator Scott McInnis (Republican)
2008 (with Betsy DeVos) def. Shirley Franklin / Marty Walsh (Democratic)
2013-2015: New York Senator Anthony Weiner (Democratic) [resigned]
2012 (with Ted Strickland) def. Scott McInnis / Betsy DeVos (Republican)
2015-2017: Vice President Ted Strickland (Democratic)
2017-2021: Alaska Senator Sarah Palin (Republican)
2016 (with Rick Lazio) def. Ted Strickland / Kathleen Rice (Democratic), Alan Grayson / Cornel West (Green-"Weiner" Democrats)
2021-0000: Tennessee Governor Tim McGraw (Democratic)
2020 (with Jane Fleming Kleeb) def. Sarah Palin / Rick Lazio (Republican)

Colors:
Democratic: #FFCC66
Republican: #3366CC
Connally For America: #669999
Freedom: #990066
"Weiner" Democrats: #33CCCC

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

1982Punk
or: Reagan Rejected​

Presidents of the United States of America
1981-1985: Ronald Reagan (Republican)
1980 (with George Bush) def. Jimmy Carter / Walter Mondale (Democratic), John Anderson / Pat Lucey (National Unity)
1985-1993: Gary Hart (Democratic)
1984 (with John Glenn) def. Ronald Reagan / George Bush (Republican)
1988 (with John Glenn) def. Bob Dole / John Sununu (Republican)
1993-1995: Ross Perot (Independent)
1995-1996: Ross Perot † (Citizens)
1992 (with John Silber) def. John Glenn / Liz Holtzman (Democratic), Newt Gingrich / Bob Dornan (Republican)
1996-1997: John Silber (Citizens)
1997-2005: Roland Burris (Democratic)
1996 (with Rick Perry) def. Ross Perot † / John Silber (Citizens), Steve Forbes / George Voinovich (Republican)
2000 (with Rick Perry) def. Dan Quayle / John G. Rowland (Republican), John Silber / Peter Ueberroth (Citizens)
2005-2013: Jesse Ventura (Republican)
2004 (with Matt Blunt) def. Ed Markey / Alan Wheat (Democratic), Donald Trump / Peter Navarro (Citizens)
2008 (with Matt Blunt) def. Carte Goodwin / Molly Malcomb (Democratic)
2013-2017: Rick Perry (Democratic)
2012 (with Charlotte Pritt) def. Mari Maseng Will / Scott McInnis (Republican), Raúl Grijalva / Zephyr Teachout (Left Alliance)
2017-2021: Luis Fortuño (Republican)
2016 (with Martha McSally) def. Rick Perry / Charlotte Pritt (Democratic), Raúl Grijalva / Cori Bush (Left Alliance)
2021-0000: Tom Steyer (Democratic)
2020 (with Kasim Reed) def. Luis Fortuño / Martha McSally (Republican)

The color scheme can be summed up as such: "Green For Gary, Blue For Bob!"
Democratic: #66CC99
Republican: #0099CC
Citizens: #CC66CC
Independent: #999999
Left Alliance: #FF99CC

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

The Democrats’ Least Favorite Democrats
​

Presidents of the United States of America
2017-2021: Donald Trump / Mike Pence (Republican)
2016: def. Hillary Clinton / Tim Kaine (Democratic)
2020 (Elected): Michael Bloomberg † / Andrew Yang (Democratic)
2020: def. Donald Trump / Mike Pence (Republican)
January 6, 2021: 2021 Capitol Insurrection; assassination of President-elect Michael Bloomberg caused by pipe bomb at DNC
January 12, 2021: Removal of Donald Trump from office after Senate conviction on charges of incitement of insurrection; subsequent vote to bar him from office succeeds
2021-2021: Mike Pence / vacant (Republican)
2021-2021: Andrew Yang / vacant (Democratic)
March 26, 2021: Confirmation of Tulsi Gabbard as Vice President
2021-2022: Andrew Yang / Tulsi Gabbard (Democratic)
April 23, 2022: Tulsi Gabbard leaves the Democratic Party (later joining the GOP before resigning), citing disagreements with Yang’s decision to send aid to Ukraine in the Russo-Ukrainian War
2022-2023: Andrew Yang / Tulsi Gabbard (Democratic | Independent)
2023-2024: Andrew Yang / Tulsi Gabbard (Democratic | Republican)
2024-2024: Andrew Yang / vacant (Democratic)
2024-2024: Andrew Yang / Patty Murray (Democratic)
July 4, 2024: Andrew Yang forms the Forward Party after losing the Democratic nomination to Gavin Newsom
2024-2025: Andrew Yang / Patty Murray (Forward | Democratic)
2025-2033: Nikki Haley / Brad Little (Republican)
2024: def. Gavin Newsom / Anthony Fauci (Democratic), Andrew Yang / Joe Rogan (Forward)
Despite selecting Anthony Fauci as his dark-horse pick for running mate, Gavin Newsom is narrowly defeated by “moderate” Republican Nikki Haley, no doubt helped by the Forward Party. President-elect Haley becomes the first Republican to win the popular vote in twenty years, winning 2.4 million more votes than Governor Newsom.
September 28, 2028: the Warsaw Ceasefire is signed, ending the Russo-Ukrainian War: while Ukraine is forced to cede some territory to Russia, it is accepted into the EU
2028: def. John Fetterman / Pete Buttigieg (Democratic), Andrew Yang / Evan Low (Forward)
President Haley is re-elected by an even narrower margin over progressive Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman, with the election coming down to Arizona; while establishment Democrats blame the nominee’s progressive leanings, the base blames Yang for once again splitting the center-left vote. Haley loses the popular vote to Fetterman by 2.7%.
August 8, 2032: Former Vice President Tulsi Gabbard is officially nominated by the Republican Party as their presidential nominee.
2033-0000: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez / Bee Nguyen (Democratic)
2032: def. Tulsi Gabbard / James Craig (Republican), Evan Low / Whitney Williams (Forward)
A chaotic, dysfunctional Republican campaign hands the Democrats a landslide, winning Alaska, Ohio, North Carolina and Texas in addition to their (IRL) 2020 states sans New Hampshire; meanwhile, the Forward Party’s better-run, non-ego-vehicle campaign nets them Alaska and Utah.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Presidents of the United States of America
2021-2029: Former Vice President Joe Biden (Democratic—Delaware)
2020 (with Kamala Harris) def. Donald Trump / Mike Pence (Republican)
January 2021: Capitol Insurrection and death of Mitt Romney (Jan 6); Second impeachment, conviction and barring of Donald Trump (Jan 6-10); Inauguration of Mike Pence (Jan 10) and Joe Biden (Jan 20)
2024 (with Kamala Harris) def. Ann Romney / Tim Scott (Republican), Josh Hawley / Mo Brooks (Patriot), Donald Trump Jr. / Kristi Noem (Patriot)
2029-2037: Governor Wes Moore (Democratic—Maryland)
2028 (with Tammy Baldwin) def. Liz Cheney / Chris Sununu (Republican), Kevin Stitt / Lauren Boebert (Patriot)
May 2031: 34th Amendment ratified; national runoff system for presidential elections established, electoral college maintained (lol)
[Also inc. 35th: Hatch Amendment; all naturalized citizens of 35 years or above who have been naturalized for 15 years can serve as president; 36th: codifies right to same-sex marriage; 37th: codifies abortion rights]
2032 (first round) (with Tammy Baldwin) def. Nikki Haley / Doug Wardlow (Republican), Paul Gosar / Jackson Lahmeyer (Patriot) [eliminated]
2032 (runoff) (with Tammy Baldwin) def. Nikki Haley / Doug Wardlow (Republican)
2037-2041: Senate Majority Whip John Fetterman (Democratic—Pennsylvania)
2036 (with Michelle Wu) def. Frank LaRose / Craig Romney (Republican), Jackson Lahmeyer / Charlie Kirk (Patriot)
June 2039: Citing a recent stroke, Pres. Fetterman declines to seek re-election
2041-0000: Governor Benji Backer (Republican—Wisconsin)
2040 (with Erin Stewart) def. Michelle Wu / Andy Beshear (Democratic), Ryan Bundy / Nick Fuentes (Patriot)
2044 (first round) (with Erin Stewart) def. Kenneth Mejia / Jon Ossoff (Democratic), Nick Fuentes / Andy Ngo (Patriot) [eliminated]
2044 (runoff) (with Erin Stewart) def. Kenneth Mejia / Jon Ossoff (Democratic)

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

These two may or may not be in the same universe.

***​

February 20, 2045 — American Party System Rundown
“The Big Two”
Democratic Party: Show of hands here — who's actually surprised that the Democrats nabbed a third term? Sure, the leftist pessimists and Jack Francis' Patriot News 2044 special were all acting as if a red wave was imminent, but it's not like Andrew Tate is some kind of sweet-talking political whisperer.
... Well, he is, but only to self-hating wannabe-dudebros, and that's 0.46% of the voting population.

Jonathan Cheng-Willis: Is anyone surprised at how quiet the “neo-birtherism” narrative is in the sane political sphere? I suppose being born outside the U.S. does limit the range of applicable racist dog-whistles to only good-ol' racial slurs. He is settling in quite nicely as a policy wonk, though. God knows he's no campaigning whiz. Winning the nomination by virtue of existing hasn't helped with his base approvals either, but that can't be helped.​

Jack Schlossberg: Having taken great-uncle Ted's path-not-taken and moved to the west, Schlossberg has managed to bring the Kennedy name back into the White House after 82 years. Pity he has to settle for VP though.​

[redacted]: Turns out having an army of swing-seat blue-collar voters and urban progressives on your side makes the Democratic leadership listen to you quite a lot because he still has the gavel, some-fucking-how. Again. The most shocking thing is still his 250-seat strong majority, though, and the fact that the three people on the SOTU podium are all men for the first time since (checks notes) 2018 is incredibly useful for the political nerds at quiz night. Which, surprisingly, makes up 0.47% of the voting population.​

Jon Ossoff: All things considered, ending up as Secretary of State was a pretty good outcome for Starmer-Down-South; that military buildup along the Russo-Estonian border is looking a bit iffy though.​

Brian Schatz: Still going strong after 32 years in the Senate. Probably retiring in 2049, which will inevitably kick off a high-stakes leadership fight between AOC and Chris Pappas.​

Which AOC will inevitably win.​

Brace Belden: Still salty about losing the nomination, but the Democrats privately promising to clear the lane for CA-Sen after Porter retires softens the blow a bit.​

Republican Party: The Party of Lincoln indulged their Trumpist wing so much it cost you every election sans one since 2020, huh? Let a guy being investigated by three countries for human trafficking get nominated for president, huh? Decades of rhetoric finally coming home to roost in the form of a huge intra-party fight, huh?

Kiera O'Brien: Probably drinking on the job at this rate, considering the size of the mess she has to patch up.​

Benji Backer: Courting support for his inevitable 2048 run after coming in third against Tate and Vega. And that was with most of his endorsers switching to a tentative thumbs-up for the ex-VP nominee. Honestly, a Backer presidency would probably not suck, though even that's high praise for the man who slashed Washington's UBI system to pay for the seawalls.​

Mike Gallagher: Very much enjoying his “I told you so” tour across the first primary states (that's Empty, Frosty, Sandy, and Swampy). Less enjoying how he went from being within two seats of a full majority to losing fucking Idaho to the Democrats.​

Andrew Tate: Screaming about evil gay Democrat oppression against manly men or whatever. I assume that because he's finally been arrested for the whole “human trafficking” thing.​

Good luck, Taint, even the GOP has had it with your shit. Considering how you sent them to third place in the popular vote, that's not really a surprise.​

Ashley Hinson: The once-and-former Speaker has fully shat the bed this time. Despite even MSNBC saying that her chances of staying as Speaker were “pretty solid” (and that was after Tate!) the GOP was still flushed out of the House, which makes [redacted] “Deep Chocolate” congressional HPV fucking [redacted] Speaker of the House. Again. Good luck with the backbenchers, I guess, you deserve this.​

Mallerie Stromswold: Leading the “all hands on deck” uprising against HML Hinson. How long this coalition of Romney Republicans, techbros and Trumpists lasts is another story entirely.​

Braxton Mitchell: The leading Trumpist left in the Senate is trying to “moderate” (hah) between Backer's “sellouts” and Tate's “crazies”, he's trying to piss off nobody and is being forced to settle for everybody.​

Jake Paul: The ex-president is back in the GOP fold, which is odd considering how they literally just nominated his once-arch-nemesis.​

“Minor Parties”
Our Future—Libertarian: They've made it! Honestly pretty glad for their presence, if only for the interesting electoral maps.

Carrick Flynn: Actually learned some lessons from Forward's trash fire of a run and now they've actually won electoral votes. Most of them were probably due to Tate's equally-disastrous presidential bid, but it's something.​

Kyle Musk: The party's main backer who seems to be in equal parts saner and less-saner than his dad — who actually considers “Kyle” to be a good name?​

Jasmine Collins: The party's resident leftist. Considering the shitshow that is the Peace Party I'm honestly not surprised she ended up saying “yes, the 'not-like-other-girls' centrists are the better option”.​

Ziad Ahmed: Pretty much just selling Democratic policies without the “Democratic” label, and if that doesn't sum up the party's ex-Forward presence I don't know what does.​

Katie Zolnikov: The party's token Republican, and surprisingly the lead-polling candidate for Montana's 2nd congressional district.​

Democratic Socialists of America: Promising to be the “True Left” option for 2034, which doesn’t seem promising considering the whole “joke” about leftist infighting.

Summer Lee: The party's elder(?) stateswoman is still part of the Democrats, which is fair enough, I suppose.​

Carlos Ramirez-Rosa: Democratic socialism is about the issues, not the spectacle. Carlos, what are you doing here? It would make a lot more sense to just stay with the Democrats if you were trying to be President, but no, you're just here for the debate around Medicare waiting times, as one does. Good for you.​

Peace: The seemingly-encroaching European war between Prigozhin's Russia and someone in Europe has one upside — Brittany Ramos DeBarros is becoming increasingly visibly uncomfortable with sharing a party with Jackson Hinkle, which is probably a lot more entertaining than it is significant.

Calla Walsh: Still pretending that she didn't call for letting Estonia and Vietnam be annexed for wOrLd pEAcE. Still hasn't been banned from Twitter either — how exactly is calling for the murder of pro-democracy activists in Hong Kong within the Twitter rules, Citron?​

Jackson Hinkle: Went to Belarus and praised both Lukashenkos, which would very much sink a normal politician. After the "my main campaign donor was a key funder for the Wagner militia" thing from last year, though, I don't especially think anyone who still supports him cares.​

Brittany Ramos DeBarros: Pretty much just this close to bailing on the party.​

Rainer Shea: Rainer Shea is not a thing, even if he did manage to lose a congressional special election by, like, half a percent. Then lose again in the general election by 30 points but that's not the point —​

“Everyone Else”

Amazon: Still dealing with the flack from having the Wide-Awake protestors nearly mowed down by dronefire. Namely, the thirty-one federal charges, which might actually go somewhere this time.​

American Workers: Red-brown pact seething as usual​

Twitter: Still alive and are still shit. Moving on...​

Hustlers: The cultists might actually get Mar-A-Lago-ed soon if they keep going after feminist activists. There's only so many B&Es, attempted rapes, actual rapes, kidnappings and murders you can claim happened thanks to, well, not your calls for violence.​

Green Front: Eco-terrorists turn out to be in support of eco-terrorism, more at 11...​

***​

October 1, 2046 — Hong Kong Party System Rundown
Executive Administration / United Nations Committee Chair Javier Kovic (Nonpartisan, de facto Pro-Democracy):

United Nations Transitional Authority: Trying to please everyone and so far have pleased none. Though to be fair it is the fourth consecutive unelected government installed by foreign powers in a hundred years, so you’d think people would have learnt that lesson by now.​

Legislative Assembly / Chancellor Lam Cheuk-ting (Reconstruction Coalition) (Pro-Administration, Pro-Democracy):
Also known as most of the people in government. Which isn’t really surprising, but also means we have to cover a lot of people.

People Power: For once, the pan-democrats actually have enough power to remake Hong Kong. Considering the fact that half of it has been blown up, set in fire, or shot at in some way, that statement is mostly literal. The cabinet is reshuffled every other week and most of the MPs spent the last five years in exile or prison, but that's just everyday politics in post-uprising Hong Kong.​

Independence: Mostly just a party faction in that they vote with People Power and only differ in that they call for immediate independence. To be fair, it’s not as if the issue isn’t the first thing on everyone’s minds. Also they've absorbed most of the left-wing (so the Trots, the Sanderistas, the Maoists, the tankies...okay maybe not) which is pretty damn neat for the next election.​

New Democracy: Pretty much the resident centrists in the assembly (super)majority. And as much as they insist their view on the future of Hong Kong is totally nuanced guys please vote for us we promised UBI and everything, having your position be “surely Beijing will keep their promise on autonomy this time” is pretty damn weak.​

Opposition / Shadow Administration of Adrian Ho and Tsui Hiu-kit (Opposition Compact) (Anti-Administration):
Pretty much here so the tankies don’t REEEEEE about how this “western-funded Color Revolution false state” is “just as authoritarian as the PRC”.
I mean it's not like they won't anyways

Alliance: A party split evenly between “nonpartisan” business interests, rich kids who came back after spending the 20s and 40s overseas, people who liked John Tsang, and leftover DAB supporters (by 2055 it'll just be the first two). Currently hedging their bets on the "Three Fewers": "Fewer Taxes, Fewer Regulations, and Even Fewer Questions on China".​

Trade Unions Alliance: The successor to the FTU, the guys who started the Communist riots in the 1960s, now willingly work with the guys who want to cap increases in social security payouts to be below the inflation rate. Hong Kong politics was an absolute show before the NSL and I suppose it can only keep being a show after.​

Consensus: Pretty much the epitome of Radical Centrism (TM), and not even the cool version when you have views from all over the place; it’s the one when you claim to be nonpartisan and unbiased then keep voting for the assholes. Also founded by Ronny Tong, who is the literal definition of the phrase so why am I even surprised​

Non-administration (Pro-Administration, Pro-Democracy):

Ecology: Not in government, but pleased with all these new eco-friendly startups gaining traction (and thanks to the U.S. government, subsidies).​

Professionals' Union: Turns out, all that union-busting by John Lee means that labor rights in Hong Kong are a complete mess. Not exactly a party owing to the fact that pro-Renminbi flunkie votes functional constituencies are no longer a thing, but were given the Labour, Healthcare & Public Services, Welfare, and Governmental Oversight Departments, so that's cool.​

Others:

United States of America: The laughter from the Oval Office can be heard in Sweden as the president shouts "I TOLD YOU DESTINY ALWAYS ARRIVES, BITCH" to no one and everyone in particular. On a broader note: giving the army and Peace Corps more to do that just clear out yet another burnt-out village in Vietnam is cool. Having to bail a collapsed financial hub out as German investors actively try to sink it even more, not so much.​

On the more "no shit, sherlock" side of things, preoccupied with recovery efforts, considering that its closest, biggest trading partner is either buried in a civil war or would rather raze it to the ground and make it a monument to Liu Xiaobo than acknowledge it as more than 'rightful Chinese clay'.​

People's Republic of China (Nationalist): REEEEEEEing about how Hong Kong is 'inalienably Chinese land' and salivating over 'liquefying' the city's "roach-like rabble-rousers and foreign assets". Then they wonder why the 'full independence' option has risen to 53% in polls.​

People's Republic of China (Maoist): Officially want Hong Kong back, but if they end up needing foreign aid to root out Hu Haifeng's faction their negotiating power over it will be — like the amount of power LegCo had over the National People's Congress Chris Tang — kinda fucking weak.​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Just so we're very, very, very clear: "Bruce Wayne" is meant to be any random fictional character.

***
​

Presidents of the United States of America:
2017-2021: 45. Hillary Clinton / 48. Tim Kaine (Democratic)

2016: Marco Rubio / Bob Corker (Republican)​

2021-2025: 46. Kanye West / 49. Ron Johnson (Republican)

2020: Hillary Clinton / Tim Kaine (Democratic), Tulsi Gabbard / Nina Turner (Green)​

2025-2027: 47. Bruce Wayne / 50. Amy Klobuchar (Democratic)

2024: Kanye West / Ron Johnson (Republican), Andrew Yang / Justin Amash (Libertarian)​

2027-2027: 48. Amy Klobuchar / vacant (Democratic)
2027-2029: 48. Amy Klobuchar / 50. Antony Blinken (Democratic)
2029-2031: 49. Bruce Wayne † / 51. Amy Vilela (Democratic)

2028: Marco Rubio / Sean Reyes (Republican), Andrew Yang / Joe Rogan (Libertarian)​

2031-2031: 50. Amy Vilela / vacant (Democratic)
2031-2037: 50. Amy Vilela / 52. Chris Pappas (Democratic)

2032: Tom Cotton / Kelly Tshibaka (Republican)​

2037-20XX: 51. Torren Ecker / 53. Beth Van Duyne (Republican)

2036: Amy Vilela / Chris Pappas (Democratic), Brace Belden / Marianne Williamson (Alternative)​

It's funny how quickly things can change.

One minute, the President of the United States is strolling through Charlottesville while campaigning for Jen Carroll-Foy; the next, him, his entourage, and half the street are blown to kingdom come. Wayne falls into a coma, and everyone is expecting him to shuffle off his mortal coil. Miraculously, he does not, though political science majors and Democratic activists will argue whether it was for the better or worse to this day. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes just two days after Wayne regains consciousness in Walter Reed as the First Lady/Gentleman (I haven't decided, ok?!) passes away from their injuries. Wayne becomes increasingly paranoid and erratic, seeing conspiracies everywhere and losing the sorry remnants of his filter. After going on national television to curse out HML Elise Stefanik (or according to Number 47, the "fat fascist fuck"), the Republicans narrowly retake both houses of Congress (though Wayne's approval manages to break 50% for two months running around this point) and horrifies the DNC. This includes former Clinton campaign manager and DNC chair Jen O'Malley Dillon, who realizes that it isn't Wayne's potty mouth behind the GOP upset. The party overstepped with their M4A push and needs to at least marginally shift back.

Unfortunately for her, Wayne isn't interested in triangulation. At all.

Seeing the VP and various others as part of a vast establishment plot to depose or defang progressives, Wayne builds a circle of Very Left Wing People around himself. The culture war - for once - is inflamed by a major figure on the left, and feuds with right-wingers and congressmen become daily occurrences. With the culture war brewing, Wayne's personal approval stagnant, and the party's in the trash, O'Malley Dillon continues to scheme with a very out-of-the-loop Amy Klobuchar who realizes that Wayne is not all there in his head. After some brief asking around about the 25th Amendment, Wayne learns about the plan and proceeds to fire literally everyone to his political right in the Cabinet to stop the "coup" right in its tracks. Klobuchar, now certain that Wayne is dangerous, looks to other methods. She finds herself forced to talk with Speaker Stefanik about possibly impeaching the President, a deal Stefanik is happy to agree to in exchange for her pound of flesh.

Wayne, unfortunately, gave them their opening by backhanding Ben Shapiro across the face.

Impeachment proceedings moved quickly as the Moral Majority screeched in rage at the impropriety. And while Wayne would find his defenders - progressives, people who were now convinced of the right-wing conspiracy, and oddly enough ex-President Kanye - he had no allies in the Senate and few of influence in the House (the Justice Caucus and progressives who had knocked off centrist incumbents with his backing). Amy Klobuchar would become the 48th President of the United States, promising a "new era of liberal governance".

But Stefanik would come to collect her due. Part of the deal for going forward with impeachment was that Klobuchar would push through a massive package to privatize Waynecare (essentially Obamacare with a bigger public option) to reduce the deficit. This drives Wayne bonkers and convinces him that the Klobberer really was a right-wing shill after all. Wayne declares that the people have been betrayed by a right-wing conspiracy and only he can fix this mess. He was thrown out, the people's choice, but the people will not have their voice ignored. He announces his candidacy for the Presidency.

A brutal insurgent campaign is launched by Wayne against the current President. Filling stadiums full of supporters, using every dirty trick in the book, calling in every favor he has, Bruce Wayne uses the full might of his myth and the unpopularity of Klobuchar's Republican-lite policies leads him to impossibly winning the nomination away from the unpopular Klobuchar. He makes no compromise and nominates Nevada's runaway progressive star for Vice President. The old Democratic Party was finally dead.

The Republicans meanwhile are hampered by their own success. The sheer number of victories in the midterms leads to way too many credible candidates running including the ludicrousness of every single legacy candidate as well as Sarah Palin. The long contentious primaries would end with a contested convention that leads to Marco Rubio, Florida Senator, and the underwhelming 2016 nominee, making his comeback. Lil' Marco proceeds to do exactly as well as you'd expect, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and just coming off as a lightweight compared to the rhetorical verboseness of the Deep Chocolate™.

Meanwhile, Yang runs again but sees most of his "anti-establishment" voters stolen by Wayne which means he mostly just runs as a more conservative Bruce Wayne, taking only Never Wayne votes that would have instead gone to Rubio. Wayne would - for the first time as "the weakest man alive, a Republican's Joe Lieberman." Some of the audience could swear they saw tears in Rubio's eyes.

The race would fall to just 1,400 votes in Virginia, but Rubio was an imperfect vehicle for the ascendant right while Bruce Wayne had always been anything to anyone, whether it be the centrists who assumed that he was putting on a show or the leftists who wanted - and saw - someone who would do what he promised. Wayne would squeeze through the Electoral College and make history, coming back from severe brain trauma, impeachment and removal to take back his throne.

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

2024-2034: Sir Keir Starmer (Labour)
-28 (Majority): def. Ed Davey (Liberal Democrats), Caroline Lucas (Green), Kemi Badenoch (Conservative), Jo Cherry (SNP)

​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Presidents of the United States of America:
2017-2021: Donald Trump (Republican)
2016 (with Mike Pence) def. Hillary Clinton / Tom Perez (Democratic)
2021-2023: Joe Biden † (Democratic)
2020 (with Kamala Harris †) def. Donald Trump / Mike Pence (Republican)
2023-2024: Antony Blinken (Democratic)
2024-2029: Antony Blinken (National Reconstruction)
2024 (with Ruben Gallego) def. Mike Prysner / various (Peace Now), scattered Progressive, Republican opposition
2029-0000: John Fetterman (Progressive)
2028 (with Varisha Khan) def. Mike Prysner / Tulsi Gabbard (Peace Now), Ruben Gallego / Paul Nakasone (Democratic-Unionist), Matt Shea / Ryan Bundy (Republican)

Key American allies in the Asia-Pacific region, as designated by the United States Department of State (2029):
1. Japan (Prime Minister: Hirofumi Yoshimura)
2. Republic of Taiwan (President: Freddy Lim Tshiong-tso)
3. Republic of Hong Kong (Chancellor: Lam Cheuk-ting)
4. Republic of Korea (Prime Minister:
5. Socialist Republic of Vietnam (President:
6. Provisional Democratic Union of Myanmar (Prime Minister:
7. Socalist Union of the Philippines (General Secretary:
8. Republic of Sakha—Yakutia (President: Arsen Tomsky)

 

[Steve Brinson]

Republic of Korea (Prime Minister:

Unless you’re envisioning a substantial constitutional change, this should probably have the President.