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AMERICA DIVIDES: The Multi-Party US Election of 2016

30 inc completed Michigan and Wisconsin
"I - your wish is my command."

Rich (BB code):
	MI-01		
	Nat          	88,606    	24.3%
	Prog          	80,720    	22.2%
	Con          	65,799    	18.1%
	Cst          	56,418    	15.5%
	Lib          	52,517    	14.4%
	All          	20,072    	5.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	364,131
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Prog
			Con

"Michigan's first district has now reported. This district is in the uttermost north of the state and takes in the entirety of the geographically separated Upper Peninsula or UP - whose inhabitants are known as 'Yoopers'-"

"Now come on, you totally just made that up."

"-and also a bit of the northern mainland. It includes the town of Sault Ste. Marie, the centre of the known universe. Anyway, another very divided result, with the Conservatives just snagging the third seat, not far ahead of both the Constitution Party and the Liberals. But, as we've seen in much of Michigan outside of Detroit - the top two parties jockeying for position seem to be the Nationals and Progressives."

Rich (BB code):
	LA-02		
	Lib          	200,006   	60.3%
	Prog          	47,484    	14.3%
	Nat          	32,260    	9.7%
	Cst          	21,127    	6.4%
	Con          	20,392    	6.1%
	All          	10,433    	3.1%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	331,702
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"Los Angeles' second - I mean, Louisiana's second district, that's a confusing abbreviation - anyway, this one was gerrymandered to pack in most of the old Democratic voters in the city of New Orleans and part of Baton Rouge...it's a BAME majority district and here all three seats are delivered to the Liberals in a fairly overwhelming landslide."

"Whereas the districts gerrymandered to yield a small Republican majority, which was all they needed to win under FPTP, are now divided by the more mixed demographics?"

"Now you're getting it!"

Rich (BB code):
	MI-14		
	Lib          	170,362   	53.4%
	Prog          	82,025    	25.7%
	Con          	27,874    	8.7%
	Nat          	20,578    	6.5%
	Cst          	9,726     	3.1%
	All          	8,185     	2.6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	318,751
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Prog

"And back up to Michigan, this is the fourteenth district, taking in a zigzag piece of Detroit...almost as good for the Liberals as the New Orleans one we just saw, but the Progressives managed to take the third seat."

Rich (BB code):
	MO-04		
	Cst          	92,646    	27.2%
	Nat          	91,695    	26.9%
	Prog          	55,918    	16.4%
	Lib          	43,926    	12.9%
	Con          	37,821    	11.1%
	All          	18,283    	5.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	340,290
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Prog

"Missouri's fourth district, about halfway in between...large and rural, formerly Republican-dominated, here it's the Constitution Party on top and the National Party in second, with the Progressives actually managing to take the third seat again."

"Yes, it's been assumed to be common knowledge for years to treat these districts as practically lacking left-wing voters, but under the new voting system we can see those minorities...the Progressives seem to be having more success in many rural areas, although the Liberals weren't that far off either - ahead of the Conservatives, in fact."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-14		
	Prog          	89,701    	26.1%
	Nat          	65,589    	19.1%
	Lib          	64,288    	18.7%
	Con          	55,053    	16%
	Cst          	46,706    	13.6%
	All          	22,080    	6.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	343,417
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Nat
			Lib

"Back to Illinois for the fourteenth district, which is north-west of Chicago...another win for the Progressives here."

"I understand we'll be able to speak to representatives of both Illinois and Wisconsin, sitting or former governors in fact, soon when Emily Maitlis speaks to them."

"Yes, Scott Walker of Wisconsin and...Pat Quinn of Illinois..." (sotto voce) "who scribbled in 'the people's' before his name in biro?"

"Err...also there's a map."

Illinois 14results.png

"Illinois nearly complete there, and again, four different colours on our map - a divided state indeed, just like its neighbours."

Rich (BB code):
	MI-08		
	Prog          	93,988    	25.1%
	Con          	73,288    	19.5%
	Nat          	72,570    	19.4%
	Lib          	70,448    	18.8%
	Cst          	44,033    	11.7%
	All          	20,641    	5.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	374,968
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Con
			Nat

"Another win for the Progressives in Michigan's eighth district, and slightly better news for the Conservatives. This district takes in an area north of Detroit including the whole state capital, Lansing, which like most US state capitals has a population of about twleve people. Oh, and the Nationals just beat out the Liberals to take the third seat."

Rich (BB code):
	WI-05		
	Cst          	135,588   	34%
	Prog          	80,967    	20.3%
	Lib          	67,933    	17%
	Nat          	54,673    	13.7%
	Con          	39,063    	9.8%
	All          	21,036    	5.3%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	399,261
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Prog
			Lib

"Wisconsin's fifth district, west of the city of Milwaukee, and that's a big win for the Constitution Party, but with the two left-wing parties taking the other two seats."

"Wisconsin isn't perhaps the kind of state we might have imagined the Constitution Party performing well in? Katty, your thoughts?"

"Well, these things are complicated, and as we just heard, simplistic state political stereotypes based on treating plurality wins as emblematic of the whole population - those are startting to break down under this new voting system, and we get to see right-wing voters in New England and left-wing voters in the Deep South, for instance. But in this specific case, things have probably been boosted by the fact that Governor Scott Walker, who we just heard about, joined the Constitution Party late in the campaign after initially supporting the Conservatives."

"Yes, well, as we just mentioned, we'll be hearing from Governor Walker shortly."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-04		
	Prog          	100,289   	47.8%
	Lib          	72,085    	34.3%
	Nat          	11,428    	5.4%
	All          	9,750     	4.6%
	Con          	8,877     	4.2%
	Cst          	7,502     	3.6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	209,931
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Prog

"Well. That is quite a surprising result - a voice in my ear is telling me. Katty, are you still there?"

"Yes, it is. Illinois' fourth district was gerrymandered to link up two majority Hispanic areas of Chicago, as you can now see on Jeremy's map-"

"Bloody hell, that looks like a fossilised pair of tweezers!"

"...yes. Well, earlier I talked to the Progressive organiser Alexandra Ocasio-Cortes about this, and she was keen to refute accusations by the Liberals that Mr Sanders' party was only drawing support from white demographics, arguing that a large number of Hispanic and Lati... - er - I think that's a typo - Hispanic voters like herself were supportive of the Progressive message. And here we see the evidence of this: a majority Hispanic district going for Mr Sanders' Progressives, not Mrs Clinton's Liberals."

"If she's so Progressive, why does she have the name of a conquistador?"

"She also has an asteroid named after her, though, which makes her above criticism. Just look at Lembit Opik."

"I...let's move on."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-08		
	Prog          	78,261    	30.7%
	Lib          	69,971    	27.4%
	Nat          	40,291    	15.8%
	Con          	28,565    	11.2%
	Cst          	24,070    	9.4%
	All          	13,905    	5.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	255,064
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Nat

"Staying with Illinois for the eighth district, taking in more Chicago suburbs. Another impressive performance for the Progressives, almost equalling that last district. The sitting Democratic congresswoman was the Liberal candidate and will now share her seat with two others. This is Tammy Duckworth, a military veteran who lost both her legs in the line of duty, and was the first Thai-American elected to Congress."

Rich (BB code):
	MI-12		
	Prog          	111,217   	32.9%
	Lib          	94,721    	28%
	Nat          	48,198    	14.2%
	Con          	44,627    	13.2%
	Cst          	23,915    	7.1%
	All          	15,844    	4.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	338,523
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Prog

"A hat-trick win for the Progressives - that's Michigan's twelfth district, which stretches west from Detroit's suburbs to the town of Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan."

"They discovered free radicals in chemistry, you know. And they won't shut up about it. Also the dentistry department looks like a giant concrete bed. Funny old world."

"...yes. That's the last district in Michigan, so we can now give the statewide seats..."

Rich (BB code):
	Michigan		
	Prog          	1,157,786 	24.2%
	Lib          	1,111,053 	23.2%
	Nat          	884,205   	18.5%
	Con          	797,197   	16.6%
	Cst          	598,141   	12.5%
	All          	241,947   	5.1%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	4,790,329
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Prog

"For the first time since New England, the Progressives - narrowly - won the popular vote across the whole state, and they get the two top-up bonus seats. That's seventeen Progressive seats in Michigan to nine Liberal, eight Conservative and three Constitution. A remarkable victory."

"And remember, only a few hours ago pollsters were claiming that the Liberals had Michigan in the bag. For example, Bernie Porn, of EPIC-MRA..."

"I think you've just said at least four things you're not supposed to say before the watershed."

Rich (BB code):
	MN-05		
	Prog          	177,215   	47.8%
	Lib          	96,187    	25.9%
	Con          	39,581    	10.7%
	All          	28,932    	7.8%
	Cst          	17,228    	4.6%
	Nat          	11,725    	3.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	370,869
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Prog

"And it doesn't stop coming! That's a very impressive win for the Progressives in Minnesota's fifth district, which takes in most of the city of Minneapolis itself."

"With all these progressive voters, maybe it's the one place in America that doesn't have a terrible police force that kills black people at random."

"Uh...I'll get back to you on that one. Anyway... I understand we can now go to Emily Maitlis, who's with Scott Walker in Milwaukee."

Cut to Walker stood behind a podium with flags, oddly, as it seemed as though Maitlis was the only one there speaking to him. "Governor Walker, what's your response to the results thus far?"

Walker frowned. "Well, Emily, let me tell you, I was genetically engineered to be the perfect Republican candidate - I have the most generic Republican name, I look good in a suit, my hair could deflect a bullet, I have an acquired immunity to recall elections - so adapting to a multi-party system has been a challenge. And yet," he added, smacking his fist into his other hand, "it is my belief that here, in this great city which invented the water cannon for subduing union protests - look it up - the Constitution Party has shown it has the backing of the American people to govern this country responsibly, within the boundaries and checks and balances set down by a bunch of dudes in wigs two hundred years ago."

As Walker spoke, his podium and chest slowly became obscured as workers kept entering to drop more and more pizza boxes on top of each other. The pizza boxes had Arabic writing on the side and small red flags with white circles and red crescents and stars. Walker looked more and more put out as he continued his prepared speech. "And as for the Nationals' talk of building a wall along the Mexican border - I say, how about building one along the Canadian border? Eh? Eh?"

"Well, that's obviously absurd, Governor Walker," Maitlis said patiently. "Why would you say something so profoundly unserious, when you are trying to persuade people to vote for you?"

"What - but - but - people take Trump seriously when he says stupid shit!" Walker said petulantly. "Honestly, I--stop putting those pizzas there! You tell those Tunisians to stop sending them! Where are my Pinkertons?"

"Sorry sir, I think they're on strike," smirked one of the pizza-wielding workers.

Walker's eyes flashed with anger. "Well let me tell you, this city, this city..."

Rich (BB code):
	WI-04		
	Lib          	120,754   	39.1%
	Prog          	107,472   	34.8%
	Cst          	35,361    	11.5%
	Nat          	17,890    	5.8%
	Con          	14,037    	4.5%
	All          	13,062    	4.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	308,575
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"...has just elected two Liberals and a Progressive," Maitlis calmly interjected. "I would watch out for who they turn that famous water cannon on, Governor."

Off Walker's expression, the screen cut out.

"Well, that was all very interesting. And with that, Wisconsin is also complete..."

Rich (BB code):
	Wisconsin at-large		
	Prog          	781,948   	26.6%
	Cst          	673,858   	22.9%
	Lib          	600,588   	20.4%
	Nat          	499,378   	17%
	Con          	232,048   	7.9%
	All          	153,180   	5.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	2,941,000
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Prog

"An even bigger win for the Progressives, albeit with Governor Walker's Constitution Party in second. The Liberals in third, again, against what many pollsters had predicted-"

"Please don't mention any more pollsters."

"Which means Wisconsin has eleven Progressives elected, versus six Constitution Party MCs, five Liberals and four Nationals. No Conservatives at all here, in contrast to neighbouring Michigan."

"Yes, even neighbouring states can be quite politically different - and we shouldn't forget the effect of individuals such as Governor Walker bringing their party machines across to a party with them. I understand later on we'll see a particularly pronounced example of this in some of the Plains States, where the old Republican machines jumped almost wholesale for one of the new parties, but were inconsistent about which one."

"In the meantime, our completed map of Michigan and Wisconsin..."

Michigan and Wisconsin.png
 
Bernie actually winning in Wisconsin!

Those Plains states suggestions are interesting- maybe the Libertarians actually give the Alliance a win somewhere?
 
31 inc Illinois complete
"An impressive result which thoroughly vindicates the fact that Bernie Sanders did, indeed, campaign in Wisconsin."

"...of course he did, what are you talking about?"

"Sorry, just had a bit of a hot flush."

Rich (BB code):
	MN-08		
	Prog          	91,328    	25.4%
	Cst          	70,118    	19.5%
	Con          	63,957    	17.8%
	Nat          	60,703    	16.9%
	Lib          	47,337    	13.2%
	All          	25,909    	7.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	359,353
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Cst
			Con

"That's another result from Minnesota, and we can see similar results to the neighbouring states we've just dealt with. This is the north-east of the state, the Duluth Iron Triangle as some people call it-"

"-who, exactly-"

"-and what we might expect to be a right-wing rural area has historically had a significant left-wing union voice due to the iron mines. But that has been in decline in recent years. An interesting mix, with another strong win for the Progressives and seats for both the Constitution Party and Conservatives - the Nationals and Liberals, who are the two largest parties across the nation as a whole, languish in fourth and fifth place here."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-03		
	Prog          	85,700    	30.1%
	Lib          	71,683    	25.2%
	Nat          	56,620    	19.9%
	Con          	30,988    	10.9%
	Cst          	26,170    	9.2%
	All          	13,808    	4.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	284,970
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Nat

"Illinois' third district, yet another one taking in part of Chicago and extending out to the suburbs. And once again, the Progressives have pulled ahead of the Liberals in at least some parts of the city, something which was certainly not expected."

"But the third seat goes to the Nationals. This is a similar phenomenon to what we've seen the other way around in states whose district boundaries were gerrymandered by Republicans to favour them under FPTP. Here, Democratic gerrymanders designed to produce narrow Democratic victories now allow representation by the right-wing minority - but not in the form of the Conservative Party as we might have predicted, but rather the Nationals."

"H'm. Well, I understand we can speak to former Illinois Governor Pat Quinn about this shortly...but while the final Illinois seats count, I understand we now have something new coming in."

"Yes, as further polls close, states farther west are starting to report. Some are rather small - by population, I mean, geographically many could comfortably swallow the whole map of the UK!"

"I'm sure there's a subreddit about that fetish."

"...what?"

"Nothing. Anyway, you were saying they're small by population."

"...yes. Which means some may only have one district, and will report all at once. Others, such as Texas, are very large - Texas is the second largest state in the whole country by population - and we'll take a long time to get through all their seats."

"Yes, speaking of which, we have our first Texas result now."

"One might almost say, 'Yee-haw'."

"Does that count as racis-"

Rich (BB code):
	TX-08		
	Cst          	103,639   	35.1%
	Nat          	59,544    	20.2%
	Con          	51,422    	17.4%
	Lib          	44,412    	15%
	Prog          	26,120    	8.9%
	All          	9,962     	3.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	295,099
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Cst

"There it is. Texas is generally considered a pretty right-wing state, though of course it's large and diverse and we'll be hearing from more left-wing areas as well tonight."

"Here, however, the eighth district - the north of the city of Houston and the area further north still - certainly lives up to the stereotype. The Constitution Party takes two seats - narrowly snatching the third from the Conservative Party, not either of the left-wing groups - and the Nationals have the other seat."

"Doubtless the American left might say, 'Houston, we have a pr-'"

"Any more of that and we'll play the 'Calamity Clegg' clip again, Jeremy."

"Nooo, anything but that!"

Rich (BB code):
	IL-16		
	Prog          	69,682    	22.3%
	Cst          	67,180    	21.5%
	Nat          	63,517    	20.4%
	Lib          	49,860    	16%
	Con          	42,396    	13.6%
	All          	19,353    	6.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	311,988
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Cst
			Nat

"Back to Illinois once more and we have a very divided district here, with the Progressives just eking out a win ahead of the Constitution Party, but the top three are all very close."

"This district cuts through the state in a sort of wraparound of the whole Chicagoland area, clearly a place where lots of demographics and opinions come together...a microcosm of what we've seen from the Midwest as a whole tonight."

Rich (BB code):
	KS-02		
	Prog          	79,149    	26.8%
	Cst          	76,619    	25.9%
	Con          	47,155    	15.9%
	Nat          	41,225    	13.9%
	Lib          	31,447    	10.6%
	All          	20,062    	6.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	295,657
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Cst
			Con

"Another brand new state is now reporting. Kansas' second district, which takes in most of the urban settlements in Kansas except for their part of Kansas City - long story. Well, this is a surprising result."

"Yes indeed, this is a shock. Kansas is usually considered a very right-wing state, very solidly Republican under the old system, which ultimately goes back to violent troubles almost two hundred years ago. But here - well, we've discussed the fact that the Progressives seem more competitive than the more 'old Democrat continuity' Liberals in rural areas, and this certainly seems to be the case here. The Progressives had topped the polls, although two other seats go to the Constitution Party and the Conservatives. The Nationals, interestingly, are way down in fourth, with the Liberals more expectedly behind them as well. This really is a new political reality."

"One might almost say...we're not in Kansas anymore."

"That is extremely amusing, because it is a reference to a classic film and also a current musical."

"...was that sarcasm?"

"MOVING ON."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-13		
	Prog          	83,562    	26.1%
	Cst          	60,906    	19%
	Lib          	57,979    	18.1%
	Nat          	57,553    	18%
	Con          	40,554    	12.7%
	All          	19,425    	6.1%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	319,979
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Cst
			Lib

"We've seen an almost unbroken chain of Progressive wins - as well as stronger Constitution performances than we saw earlier tonight - and Illinois' thirteenth district is no exception."

"This is a fairly closely politically balanced district - under the old system, I mean - in the middle of the state, north of Saint Louis. Only one more district in the state to go now, but first, yet another new state is reporting...and this time, there is only one district to report..."

Rich (BB code):
	ND-00		
	Nat          	131,594   	38.9%
	Fus          	85,200    	25.2%
	Prog          	67,030    	19.8%
	All          	27,411    	8.1%
	Lib          	26,728    	7.9%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	337,963
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Prog

"North Dakota. A geographically large state but a small one by population, although it has been growing since the oil boom in the area. It has some diversity, being the state with the largest portion of Norwegian ancestry in the US, as well as being home to a large and significant reservation of the Great Sioux Nation of Indians."

"...are you allowed to say that? Don't you have to say 'Native American'?"

"Apparently most actual, err, Native Americans don't like being called Native Americans and want you to call them Indians."

"Oh good! Does that mean I can still say things like 'what, you mean, actual reds***s with feather headdresses, totem poles, wigwams, buffalos, tomahawks, pipe of peace, grand sachem, head them off at the pass, the cavalry will be here by dawn, look at me fan the hammer of my six shooter while I shoot the floor to make this bad guy dance, three shots of sipping whisky ma'am, well ah do declayuh, this town isn't big enough for the both of us, ride off into the sunset, I grew up in the fifties please let me have this'?"

"...no."

"Oh."

Rich (BB code):
	North Dakota at-large		
	Nat          	131,594   	38.9%
	Fus          	85,200    	25.2%
	Prog          	67,030    	19.8%
	All          	27,411    	8.1%
	Lib          	26,728    	7.9%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	337,963
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat

"Er...and of course, the top-up seats are just the same votes as there is only one district. As I was saying, the fact that the Sioux people were historically Democratic voters appears to have helped the Progressives secure a seat here, but otherwise it's a sweep for the right-wing parties - three Nationals and one Fusionist."

"And," (awkward cough) "I understand that as the final results for Illinois come in, we can now go to Chicago to speak to former Governor Pat Quinn, who is being interviewed by," (blinks) "Emily Maitlis?!"

The screen flickered on to, indeed, show Emily with her microphone, now stood on what appeared to be the roof of the John Hancock Centre. Strapped to one of the white masts protruding from the impressive black trapezoidal tower was a white-haired, wild-eyed man wearing a vest of various red and yellow striped cylindrical objects with a digital timer on the front.

"Mr Quinn," Maitlis began calmly.

"I demand-" Quinn interrupted.

"No, hang on, wait a minute, hold on," Andrew Neil interrupted the interruption impatiently. "Emily, a few minutes ago you were in Milwaukee, how did you get there so fast?"

Maitlis turned to the camera and blinked once, slowly. "As you know, Andrew, my father is a professor of chemistry and former head of department at the University of Sheffield (which has very good graduate outcomes, by the way) and, during his studies, he developed a formula which meant I was born a Tomorrow Person, with the ability to teleport."

Neil drew back from the screen in horror as though avoiding contamination. "But that's - that's impossible!"

"Genetically speaking it's quite simple," Maitlis began authoritatively. "The delta waves of the brain-"

"No, not that!" Neil shook his head. "I mean that you'd go for a reference from an ITV sci-fi series! Have you no shame?!"

"Ahem!" Quinn interrupted them. The cameras swung back to him. "As I was saying - this use of multi-member districts is an outrage, and unless President Obama reverses it in five minutes, I, THE PEOPLE'S PAT, will have my revenge!"

"Blimey, terrorists with Irish names threatening to blow tall buildings up, this takes me back," Neil said almost dreamily. "Someone dub his voice, I'm sure there's a market for that vein of nostalgia by now."

"I'm not bluffing!" Quinn said impatiently. He pulled on a string, only for his vest to disintegrate, revealing that it consisted of several large candy canes and a clock radio. "Dammit! Knew I shouldn't have outsourced this thing to Blagojevich's relatives in Yugoslavia!"

"Mr Quinn, how do you reconcile this act with your commitment to gun control legislation-" Maitlis began.

Quinn shook his head. "Well at least phase II of the campaign was successful," he said. "I did mail teabags to you all, right?"

"Oh, those were from you?" Neil looked worried. "What, did you poison them or something?"

"...no," Quinn said in confusion. "It's just a reference to the Boston Tea P-"

"Why would posting teabags to people ever not be a good thing?" Neil asked in confusion. "I thought that was very kind. Play your cards right and we'll help get your sentence commuted."

Quinn's eyes flashed. "Never that! I am a former Governor of Illinois and I demand the right to go to prison like all the others!" He cut the cords joining him to the mast and pulled on a parachute backpack. "I knew I should've been suspicious when that fortune teller told me my plan has the same chance of failure as the Cubs winning the World Series..." He took a run-up off the roof. "Plan B it is then - I'm going to go to the Italian Consulate and demand they recognise Chicago pizza as pizza. That should start a small war." He jumped off the roof, the parachute ballooning behind him, displaying blue and white stripes and four red six-pointed stars.

"Former Governor Pat Quinn there. Shame we never got to actually ask him about the election, but oh well. What is Chicago pizza anyway?"

"It's a kind of hot quiche."

"Oh, I thought it was those two-pack frozen things from Iceland which look nice but basically just taste of heat and nothing else. My kids love them."

Rich (BB code):
	IL-05		
	Prog          	118,956   	36.5%
	Lib          	110,980   	34%
	Con          	33,881    	10.4%
	Nat          	28,074    	8.6%
	All          	18,031    	5.5%
	Cst          	16,113    	4.9%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	326,036
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Prog

"And, well, that's the final Illinois district declared. Yet another Progressive win, this time pretty much in the heart of Chicago. Not what the pollsters predicted at all."

"So we have the votes from across Illinois now..."

Rich (BB code):
	Illinois at-large		
	Lib          	1,563,576 	28.3%
	Prog          	1,527,153 	27.7%
	Nat          	824,083   	14.9%
	Cst          	679,008   	12.3%
	Con          	642,924   	11.6%
	All          	286,398   	5.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	5,523,142
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"A disappointment for the Progressives there as they quite narrowly lose out on getting the statewide seats as well."

"But, as you were just saying, no-one expected them to even be in contention. So the seats for Illinois as a whole are 22 to the Liberals, 19 to the Progressives, 8 to the Nationals, 6 to the Constitution Party and just 1 to the Conservatives who, again, were generally expected to be in second place in a state like this. Just look at the map."

Illinois.png

"Politics is evolving tonight in realtime. And because the USA is such a large country, voters farther into the interior west of the country, where the polls are still open, might well shift their votes when they see how things are going out east. The Conservatives, for example, might be seen as a lost cause, and people might turn to the Constitution Party as a way to stop the Nationals."

"The Progressives' good performance might also lead to people voting for them out of preference when they previously might have voted Liberal purely to stop the Conservatives, when we thought they would be the top two. But this is speculation..."
 
32
Rich (BB code):
	NE-01		
	Nat          	95,076    	34.4%
	Fus          	63,553    	23%
	Prog          	59,933    	21.7%
	Lib          	40,097    	14.5%
	All          	17,387    	6.3%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	276,046
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Prog

"We have yet another new state now reporting, Nebraska...the first district, in the middle east of the state - er, not that sort of Middle East - wrapping around the biggest city of Omaha - you know, as in D-Day."

"Now in some ways Nebraska is similar to neighbouring Kansas - a farming-dominated Plains state with generally right-wing politics. Nebraska is also known for a historical rural progressive movement, small-p I mean, which is manifested in such things as the state government only having one house of its legislature, and that being non-partisan, formally no parties."

"However, we can see that these results are quite radically different to those we've seen from Kansas - well, except that the Progressives, capital P, have secured a seat. Katty, can you explain?"

"To an extent. While Mr Obama's reforms are intended to give the United States a level playing field for the parties - eliminating past issues such as unequal air time and lack of limits on campaign spending - what he could not control was that the former Democratic and Republican party organisations or 'machines' in each state are separate - I mean, each state's version of the party is separate - and they do have not moved collectively as one to the new party landscape. We've already seen that with how some states have separate Conservative and Constitution Party slates running, while in others, such as Nebraska here, the parties have settled on a single Con-Con Fusion slate. In almost every state, the vast majority of the old Democratic party organisation has shifted wholesale to the Liberals, which is why many are expressing surprise at how well the Progressives are performing on the left, against the odds. But things are much more uneven on the right with the old Republicans. While many of the most senior party leadership people went to the Conservatives - who have generally underperformed tonight - some, such as Scott Walker who Emily spoke to a short time ago, have backed Mr Cruz's Constitution Party, rejecting Mr Obama's reforms altogether. And a few, such as Chris Christie of New Jersey, have gone over to Mr Trump's Nationals, despite them being largely treated as beyond the pale by the mainstream Republicans."

"But what about Kansas versus Nebraska?"

"Well, in Kansas many prominent local Republicans have gone over to the Constitution Party, while Nebraska is one of a number of Plains states where Mr Trump's Nationals have, unexpectedly, captured a significant part of the existing state party leadership. That does make a difference to how local voters perceive the parties - this is a political culture in which individual endorsements for parties by 'big beasts', as in for individual candidates within parties in the old primary system, has historically swayed many voters. Very unlike how we would normally view multi-party politics, but a uniquely American twist on the concept."

"I see. Fascinating."

Rich (BB code):
	AR-04		
	Nat          	68,559    	25.3%
	Lib          	60,286    	22.3%
	Cst          	59,796    	22.1%
	Con          	45,376    	16.8%
	Prog          	24,556    	9.1%
	All          	12,207    	4.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	270,781
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Cst

"That's the fourth and final district in Arkansas, in the southwest of the state. This one historically elected conservative Democrats in the big-tent party days. Here you can see it's backing the right, in the form of a National and a Constitution candidate, but the Liberals have still secured one as well - whereas it was seeming as though the Democrats were getting shut out altogether under Mr Obama."

"That also means we can give the results for the statewide seats..."

Rich (BB code):
	Arkansas at-large		
	Lib          	259,890   	23%
	Nat          	254,398   	22.5%
	Cst          	216,358   	19.1%
	Con          	214,116   	18.9%
	Prog          	120,604   	10.7%
	All          	65,269    	5.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	1,130,635
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"So a win for the Liberals, despite the state's shift to the right as you mentioned. A close result, and perhaps guaranteed only by the presence of former Arkansas First Lady Hillary Clinton as party leader?"

"I'm not sure if she's still as popular there to be honest, Andrew, but the Liberals have definitely benefited from a very divided right in the state, whereas rather fewer left-wing voters have backed the Progressives."

Rich (BB code):
	TX-31		
	Lib          	67,325    	23.4%
	Cst          	58,936    	20.5%
	Con          	55,350    	19.3%
	Prog          	49,856    	17.3%
	Nat          	39,537    	13.8%
	All          	16,506    	5.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	287,510
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Cst
			Con

"That's our second result from Texas. As you can see from the high district number, it has a great many of them."

"Thirty-six, in fact. This one, north of the city of Austin, was represented by John Carter-"

"What, as in the bloke who went to Mars, or the other one?"

"One of the other ones. It was formerly a Republican district but, as we've just seen in Arkansas, a divided right has given the lead to the Liberals - with the Constitution Party in second place and the Conservatives in third."

Rich (BB code):
	MN-02		
	Prog          	99,777    	26.4%
	Con          	80,481    	21.3%
	Lib          	71,510    	18.9%
	Cst          	56,433    	14.9%
	Nat          	38,894    	10.3%
	All          	30,793    	8.1%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	377,887
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Con
			Lib

"And back up to Minnesota for the second district, south of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis - which we saw a short while ago - and St Paul. We've actually not seen that many districts with both Conservatives and Liberals elected, after the expectation during the campaign that that would be the norm with them as the top two...regardless, the Progressives have taken another win in the Midwest."

"We can also look at how Minnesota and its southern neighbour Iowa are shaping up on the map."

Minnesota and Iowa 4results.png

"Already three colours on that map, and as we saw in Michigan and Wisconsin, I suspect there will soon be more."

Rich (BB code):
	LA-06		
	Cst          	93,876    	26.4%
	Nat          	89,888    	25.3%
	Lib          	81,025    	22.8%
	Con          	46,936    	13.2%
	Prog          	29,371    	8.3%
	All          	14,856    	4.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	355,951
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Lib

"We also have Los An - dammit - Louisiana's sixth district. This one includes most of the state capital of Baton Rouge and, um, squiggly bits. A win for the Constitution Party here, with the Nationals in second, but the Liberals also secure a seat in what used to be a pro-Republican gerrymander."

Rich (BB code):
	IA-02		
	Lib          	89,554    	23.6%
	Prog          	81,242    	21.4%
	Cst          	66,833    	17.6%
	Nat          	61,732    	16.2%
	Con          	57,819    	15.2%
	All          	22,779    	6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	379,959
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Cst

"Another result from Iowa - I could have waited to update the map - and this one is also in the east of the state, with a very similar result to the first district which we already saw."

Rich (BB code):
	MN-03		
	Prog          	107,203   	27%
	Lib          	94,630    	23.8%
	Con          	87,003    	21.9%
	Cst          	44,373    	11.2%
	Nat          	32,883    	8.3%
	All          	30,916    	7.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	397,008
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Con

"And another similar result to others we've seen too, but this time in Minnesota, in the western suburbs of Minneapolis. Yet another Progressive win, with the Conservatives continuing to show they are more competitive in Minnesota than some other states we've seen."

"This was predicted, with the more moderate - or so we're told - Conservatives appealing more to the right-wing minority in generally leftier-of-centre like Minnesota - yet tonight, this has been the exception rather than the rule. Look at how the Nationals performed in New England."

Rich (BB code):
	SD-00		
	Nat          	152,808   	41.3%
	Fus          	74,923    	20.2%
	Lib          	59,908    	16.2%
	Prog          	57,558    	15.6%
	All          	24,914    	6.7%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	370,111
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat
			Fus

"Speaking of the Nationals, we now have the results from South Dakota, which you will be unsurprised to hear is North Dakota's southern neighbour, and the Nationals have captured two of the three seats in this state's single district, with the third going to the Fusionists."

"South Dakota is of course known for Mount Rushmore and...um...does anyone remember George McGovern...er, that's it."

"For those who do remember him, McGovern was a very left-wing Democratic presidential candidate from the state who lost badly to Richard Nixon in 1972. But clearly he was not typical of voters in his state. As with North Dakota, a single declaration means we can see the statewide seats awarded off the same results:"

Rich (BB code):
	South Dakota at-large		
	Nat          	152,808   	41.3%
	Fus          	74,923    	20.2%
	Lib          	59,908    	16.2%
	Prog          	57,558    	15.6%
	All          	24,914    	6.7%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	370,111
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat

"So overall, four out of five seats in this state for the National Party, a thumping win for Mr Trump's supporters and a worry for the other right-wing parties" (sotto voce) "and, um, everyone sane."

"Here's a map. Be warned, it's a big one, even though fewer people live in the confines of this map than live in the whole of Scotland. Or Yorkshire."

Great Plains 2results.png

"Yes, probably best not to update that one again till we have all the results..."

Rich (BB code):
	TX-04		
	Cst          	94,650    	33.9%
	Nat          	63,524    	22.8%
	Con          	52,413    	18.8%
	Lib          	40,754    	14.6%
	Prog          	20,087    	7.2%
	All          	7,760     	2.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	279,188
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Con

"Another Texas result, in a much more populous state of course! This one's in the north-east of the state, and you can see it's a very right-wing area, with all three right-wing parties winning seats."

"The Constitution Party easily in first, though. As a reminder, Mr Cruz, the party's leader, was a sitting Texas Senator, and appears to be drawing home-state loyalty for his new party."

Rich (BB code):
	IA-04		
	Cst          	88,371    	23.3%
	Con          	71,694    	18.9%
	Nat          	71,165    	18.7%
	Lib          	63,886    	16.8%
	Prog          	63,515    	16.7%
	All          	21,270    	5.6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	379,900
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Con
			Nat

"That's a similar result to the one we just saw in Texas - but very different to the other ones we saw in Iowa! Can you explain, Katty?"

"This shows you the dichotomy of Iowa, very divided and diverse in terms of political opinions if not ethnicity. In this district, to the west of the two that have already reported, the right-wing pluralities are just that little bit higher to shut out the left."

"Interesting."

Rich (BB code):
	LA-04		
	Lib          	91,302    	28.7%
	Cst          	84,443    	26.5%
	Nat          	73,889    	23.2%
	Con          	34,645    	10.9%
	Prog          	25,297    	7.9%
	All          	8,887     	2.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	318,462
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Cst
			Nat

"Back to Louisiana, and the fourth district, in the west of the state...it's the same story we've seen before. Another Republican-gerrymandered district under the old system now puts the Liberals in first as they secure most of the left-wing vote, while the more divided right does get two seats for the Constitution Party and Nationals, in this case, but runs the risk of the Liberals getting the popular-vote win across the state."

"Yes, it's not completely unheard of for Democrats still to have won in Louisiana under the old system, such as the recent gubernatorial victory by former Senator for Corellia, Garm Bel Iblis-"

"I think you mean John Bel Edwards."

"Oh yes, I always get those two mixed up. Anyway, yes, it wasn't unheard of, but this will still be a shake-up for Louisiana politics."

"I think this election is a shake-up for politics everywhere!"

"True. Perhaps even beyond the USA's borders."

Rich (BB code):
	OK-04		
	Cst          	77,922    	26.4%
	Nat          	59,434    	20.1%
	Con          	56,805    	19.2%
	Prog          	50,317    	17%
	Lib          	33,331    	11.3%
	All          	17,655    	6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	295,464
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Con

"And speaking of which, yet another new state. Tell us about Oklahoma, Katty."

"Yes, Oklahoma is much more than a musical with an exclamation mark. Not many people know this in the UK, but it's actually home to a large part of the country's displaced Nativ Am...India...indigenous people. Even the state name means 'Red People'."

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed to-"

"ANYWAY, Oklahoma has shifted drastically to the Republicans in recent years, under the old system, I mean, and this district, in the south-central of the state, is no exception. Supporting going to all three right-wing parties, once again."

"Hmm. Do you think there's a left-wing minority there still, in other districts perhaps, which will still get representation under this voting system?"

"Only time will tell."

Rich (BB code):
	IA-03		
	Prog          	97,004    	24.1%
	Lib          	84,520    	21%
	Con          	70,537    	17.5%
	Cst          	64,282    	15.9%
	Nat          	60,921    	15.1%
	All          	25,927    	6.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	403,191
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Con

"That's our last result from Iowa, and very different once again!"

"Yes, that western character, maybe, gave the Progressives a slight lead over the Liberals...but unlike the other western district we saw, the left are still ahead of the right."

"We can also give the statewide seats of course..."

Rich (BB code):
	Iowa		
	Prog          	328,547   	21.1%
	Lib          	327,709   	21.1%
	Cst          	291,036   	18.7%
	Con          	258,832   	16.7%
	Nat          	253,894   	16.3%
	All          	93,965    	6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	1,553,984
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Prog

"Well. That's an extremely narrow win, on an extremely narrow plurality, for the Progressives to take yet more top-up seats in a Midwest state."

"Yes, I fully expect calls for a recount. For now, however, it looks like Mr Sanders' party has done it again, despite only leading in one out of the four districts."

Rich (BB code):
	MO-05		
	Lib          	94,019    	28.6%
	Prog          	83,753    	25.5%
	Cst          	52,642    	16%
	Nat          	51,664    	15.7%
	Con          	29,151    	8.9%
	All          	17,573    	5.3%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	328,803
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Cst

"And to the south, in Missouri, this district, which takes in a lot of Kansas City-"

"I thought you said it was in Missouri?"

"Please don't ask or we'll be here all night. Anyway, a lead for the Liberals as we've generally seen in urban areas, but with the Progressives and, unusually, the Constitution Party also taking seats. Let's have a map update."

Arkansas Louisiana Missouri 14results.png

"Again, what a diversity of opinion we're seeing - every single party colour, except Alliance yellow of course, represented across these three states."

Rich (BB code):
	WY-00		
	Cst          	130,172   	52.3%
	Con          	31,395    	12.6%
	Prog          	31,177    	12.5%
	Lib          	24,796    	10%
	All          	18,553    	7.5%
	Nat          	12,852    	5.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	248,945
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Cst
			Cst

"Hmm, I didn't expect this one to come in so soon...but Wyoming on the Plains, the smallest state by population but, again, very large and very rectangular by geographic area, has now declared. And that's a whopping landslide for the Constitution Party!"

"Yes, that's the first time the Constitution Party have secured all three seats in a district, I think, with more than half of the votes cast. I presume Wyoming is one of the states where the local Republican party leadership went across wholesale to the Constitution Party."

"Correct. It's still a surprisingly overwhelming result, though, even in what was already known as a very right-wing state. Wyoming was actually the first place in the US to give women the vote, although, er, you'd never guess it from that result."

"We can also show the top-up seats, and those are no surprise..."

Rich (BB code):
	Wyoming		
	Cst          	130,172   	52.3%
	Con          	31,395    	12.6%
	Prog          	31,177    	12.5%
	Lib          	24,796    	10%
	All          	18,553    	7.5%
	Nat          	12,852    	5.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	248,945
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Cst

"So five full Constitution seats out of a single small state."

Rich (BB code):
	TX-01		
	Cst          	97,788    	37.3%
	Lib          	50,143    	19.1%
	Nat          	47,930    	18.3%
	Con          	43,886    	16.7%
	Prog          	16,246    	6.2%
	All          	6,499     	2.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	262,492
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Lib
			Cst

"And two more for the Constitution Party from Texas' first district, which is also in the northeast of the state - though one goes to the Liberals."

Rich (BB code):
	LA-01		
	Nat          	108,552   	30.5%
	Cst          	78,664    	22.1%
	Lib          	58,967    	16.5%
	Con          	57,690    	16.2%
	Prog          	36,203    	10.2%
	All          	16,406    	4.6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	356,482
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Cst
			Lib

"And one more from Louisiana, in the first district, which is split into two parts around the mouth of the Mississ - the Missy - that big river."

"Along with a National and a Liberal. That's the last result from Louisiana, so let's see which party came out on top in the end..."

Rich (BB code):
	Louisiana		
	Lib          	587,158   	28.9%
	Nat          	488,182   	24.1%
	Cst          	447,938   	22.1%
	Con          	242,518   	12%
	Prog          	192,996   	9.5%
	All          	70,240    	3.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	2,029,032
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"And, as we suspected, the Liberals have taken it thanks to a divided right - with the Nationals in second and the Constitution Party in third. More top-up seats from Deep South states going not to any of the right-wing parties we might have expected, but to Mrs Clinton's Liberals."

"There will be a lot of anger on the right tonight - no change there - and every one of these seats will help in the parliamentary arithmetic of seats when the night is over."

"Yes, speaking of which, I think that's nearly two-thirds of all the seats nationwide declared, so can we have an update on seat numbers?"

Rich (BB code):
327	Lib          	
229	Nat    	
171	Prog        	
91	Con          	
68	Cst        	
29	Fus       	
0	All

"With 915 seats declared out of 1410, we have the Liberals on 327, followed by the Nationals on 229, the Progressives on 171, the Conservatives on 91, the Constitution Party on 68 - still fifth, despite those recent wins we've seen - the Fusionists on 29, whom could be counted with both the Conservatives or Constitution Party - and nothing for the Alliance."

"Though we may soon be coming to the states where the Alliance does have a chance, albeit a slim one, to make it into Parliament..."
 
Anyone else glaze over the figures while waiting for the commentary?
Well, a real election night obviously wouldn't go through each individual district like this - the idea of writing it this way is so any US reader can find their own district and see how it plays out there, which is part of the fun of these election night TLs. I always try to base them on real data as closely as possible so it has more meaning to people that way, but I'll explain in detail at the end.
 
Well, a real election night obviously wouldn't go through each individual district like this - the idea of writing it this way is so any US reader can find their own district and see how it plays out there, which is part of the fun of these election night TLs. I always try to base them on real data as closely as possible so it has more meaning to people that way, but I'll explain in detail at the end.
I'm 90% certain I get the hook (and why it unfortunately can't really be applied to most other elections), but it's fun to see it play out.
 
'Every party represented except Alliance', OW.

You can really see the old norms shattering as people get more of a choice
 
33 inc Arkansas Louisiana Missouri map complete
Rich (BB code):
	MN-07		
	Cst          	78,615    	23.3%
	Con          	74,850    	22.2%
	Prog          	66,084    	19.6%
	Nat          	54,751    	16.2%
	Lib          	38,482    	11.4%
	All          	24,224    	7.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	337,005
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Con
			Prog

"Another result from Minnesota...the seventh district is the largest and takes up pretty much the entire west of the state. Another very divided result, showing the diversity of political opinions here..."

"Yes, shortly we'll be able to go over to, er, Emily Maitlis again once she's returned from the mothership, to discuss the situation there in that state."

"And here's a map update."

Minnesota and Iowa 9results.png

"Iowa is completely in now but we're still waiting on some Minnesota results...and perhaps more purple on the map than we might have expected. Mr Cruz's Constitution Party appears to be getting a second wind as we cross the Midwest and the Plains."

Rich (BB code):
	MO-08		
	Nat          	116,403   	36.6%
	Cst          	93,987    	29.6%
	Prog          	33,678    	10.6%
	Lib          	33,180    	10.4%
	Con          	29,275    	9.2%
	All          	11,226    	3.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	317,749
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Cst
			Nat

"A much more straightforward and conservative mix in Missouri's eighth district...by which I mean right-wing, the Conservatives themselves are well off getting a seat, unlike the Nationals and Constitution Party."

"This was one of the most Republican districts in the nation under the old system; it takes in a big chunk of the south-east of the state."

Rich (BB code):
	MT-00		
	Nat          	220,579   	44.6%
	Prog          	95,718    	19.4%
	Lib          	81,991    	16.6%
	Fus          	58,661    	11.9%
	All          	37,577    	7.6%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	494,526
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat
			Prog

"We also have another result from a state with only one district, in this case the Plains state of Montana...Plains and mountains, that is, as you can tell from the name."

"Just one district, yes, although the census boffins think it may get a second one at the next cycle in the 2020s, judging by its population growth."

"Tsk, spoilers! Anyway, Katty, I believe you said this was one of the states where most of the local Republican organisation went over to the Nationals?"

"Yes, you can tell, can't you - the Constitution Party, which has performed well in similar neighbouring states like Wyoming, relegated to being part of a rather distant Fusion Party result. In fact, the only competition the Nationals have is from Mr Sanders' Progressives, who have secured a seat. Again, not something many would have predicted before tonight; states like Montana are not the uniform right-wing bloc they are often treated as. In fact, Bill Clinton carried the state back in 1992."

Rich (BB code):
	Montana at-large		
	Nat          	220,579   	44.6%
	Prog          	95,718    	19.4%
	Lib          	81,991    	16.6%
	Fus          	58,661    	11.9%
	All          	37,577    	7.6%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	494,526
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat


"But as far as the top-up seats go, of course, all that matters is the plurality...two more seats for Donald Trump's party."

Rich (BB code):
	MN-01		
	Prog          	87,008    	25.5%
	Con          	74,998    	22%
	Cst          	56,967    	16.7%
	Nat          	49,682    	14.6%
	Lib          	43,823    	12.9%
	All          	28,353    	8.3%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	340,831
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Con
			Cst

"That's Minnesota's penultimate result. The first district, in the southern part of the state...again, very divided, with seats for Progressives, Conservatives and Constitution Party alike. The Nationals and Liberals, who have dominated most of the country tonight, seem much less successful in Minnesota than elsewhere."

"Yes, well, we can now go to Emily, who may be able to tell us why..."

Cut to Maitlis looking rather cold in what first appeared to be a city street, but as the camera pulled back, a roof was visible. "I'm here at the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota, what was the world's biggest shopping mall before China decided to go for all the Guinness records. Just why does Minnesota behave so differently to many other parts of the United States? I'm here to talk to ordinary local residents."

Maitlis turned, microphone in hand, to face a small crowd of people, most of whom were partly or fully dressed in mascot costumes with bright orange logo badges. "So what are the reasons for Minnesota's unusual culture, and what impact does that have on its politics?"

"Well, there's the phenomenon known as Minnesota Nice," said a muffled voice through the rugby ball-shaped head of a Hey Arnold costume. "Caring for your neighbour and all that, though some people just say it's enforced social stratification-"

"Hyacinth Bucket would say, what other sort of neighbourly behaviour is there?" Maitlis asked rhetorically. "And what about the demographics?"

"Well, so much of the state's population is descended from Scandinavian immigrants," said a girl playing a young Melissa Joan Hart as Clarissa of 'Explains It All' fame. "A hundred years ago all our politicians had names like 'Hjalmar Eriksson', and they were founding left-wing breakaways like the Farmer-Labor Party, who even recently were still officially named alongside the Democrats as a fusion. Then there was good old Triple H."

"And some people actually connect that to modern Scandinavian social democracy," concluded Krumm from Aaaahh!!! Real Monsters, who was clearly getting rather tired of holding both hands in the air with a baseball-sized prop eyeball in each one. "A commitment to both economic and social progressivism. Very high voter turnout by American, or even global, standards, and almost every election fought as an honest contest on fair boundaries."

"Well, that all sounds very delightful," Maitlis said politely. "Because this is the BBC, I have to ask - is there a downside?"

The mascots and actors considered. "It is true that we tend to compensate for being so nice by, recently, electing complete assholes," admitted pseudo-Alex Mack. "At least since we gave up on professional wrestlers. In fact, look at this montage we've conveniently displayed on a nearby wall of TV screens."

Cut to Michele Bachmann railing at a crowd at a rally. "We cannot allow a lunatic gap!" she warned. "We have to make Barack Obama a one-term president, or else Colorado and Georgia will start electing lunatics who make me look sensible by comparison!" She paused. "Either that or I could go and get a job with the UN, assuming they mix me up with the President of Chile too."

Cut to Amy Klobuchar, apparently giving one of those 90s wonder product advertisements with a blue background and a yellow phone number. "Are you worried your subordinates aren't feeling your authority in the workplace?" she asked with a smile, walking past what appeared to be the board from Family Feud. "Have you tried all the classics? The Brown?" A photo of Gordon Brown, above a photo of a hefty-looking Nokia phone, appeared on the board, only to be crossed out with a red X and the iconic cancel sound. "The Starmer?" The photos were replaced with one of Keir Starmer above a floppy disk, crossed out in turn. "The Clinton?" A photo of the top half of Bill Clinton above a photo of the bottom half of Bill Clinton, pixellated. After a brief hesitation, this was crossed out as well. "Well, worry no more, for I have the solution." Klobuchar walked to an Easy-Bake oven and withdrew a steaming Tower of Hanoi-like pile of concentric cake circles, decorated with white icing. "Here's that good old Minnesota standard, the kransekage. Just serve it up to all your aides and interns." She smiled sweetly. "And if they're been good, I don't put ginger in the recipe before shoving it up their-"

Merciful cut to Al Franken, sitting behind a radio desk with a pleasant smile on his face. "Aren't you glad I'm perfectly nice and have no controversies whatsoever?" he asked. "By the way, have I mentioned it's 2016, though Jon Oliver and Justin Trudeau still aren't quite sure? And while you're here, let's have a heartwarming radio discussion with top author and radio personality, Garrison Keillor-"

The screen faded and returned to Maitlis with the mascots. "Well, at least this multi-party system will give you more options," she suggested. "Not unlike Scandinavia, in fact. But, can I ask..."

"What?" asked Mr Dink from Doug.

Maitlis looked around theatrically. "Where are Linus and Lucy? What happened to Peppermint Patty? Who are you lot, anyway?"

"Oh. It hasn't been Camp Snoopy since the mid-2000s," helpfully explained Danny Phantom. "We seen had a sort of Khmer Rouge Year Zero purge and rebranded as Nickelodeon Universe."

Maitlis drew back in shock, reddening in rage. "Betrayal!" she cried. "You deserve everything Iran does to you?"

"What, you mean, like, orchestrating a terrorist attack?" asked a confused Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

"No," Maitlis clarified, "I mean they should build a bigger mall to beat you to the top spot!"

"That's worse!" declared Jimmy Neutron.

The screen turned to static, and they were soon back to the studio.

"Well, er, thank you Emily for that very interesting report," Andrew Neil said with a pinched expression. "I understand we have yet more results coming in now."

Rich (BB code):
	TX-14		
	Lib          	74,777    	28.4%
	Cst          	71,905    	27.3%
	Nat          	45,478    	17.3%
	Con          	35,808    	13.6%
	Prog          	26,451    	10%
	All          	8,962     	3.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	263,381
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Cst
			Nat

"Another one from Texas. The fourteenth district is along the coastline of the Gulf of Mexico, around Galveston. Now this geographic area was once represented by Ron Paul, who is basically like the anthropomorphic personification of all those 'we buy gold' adverts, except with more weed and racism. Mr Paul stood for the Libertarians back in the 80s and was definitely on the Libertarian wing of the Republicans, but that hasn't translated to any success for the Alliance Party. Instead, the Liberals are actually on top, though the other two seats are going to the Constitution Party and the Nationals."

"Let's get a map of Texas."

"Er..."

"Yes, I know how big it is, do it anyway!"

Texas 6results.png

"...alright, I admit that's bigger than I thought."

"So big that I think time zones may even be having an impact on the vote counting schedule, although Texas is strictly all in Central Time. We can clearly see some early success for Mr Cruz's Constitution Party in his home state, but the Liberals are also having more success than the historical Democrats usually have had in recent years - partly because they appear to have kept the left-wing vote more united under their banner here."

Rich (BB code):
	MO-03		
	Nat          	112,791   	29.8%
	Cst          	99,665    	26.3%
	Prog          	58,696    	15.5%
	Lib          	47,668    	12.6%
	Con          	41,727    	11%
	All          	18,299    	4.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	378,846
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Cst
			Prog

"Missouri's third district is west of Saint Louis, and it's definitely more of a right-wing district, though the Progressives have just about managed to pull out the third seat here."

Rich (BB code):
	TX-36		
	Cst          	90,225    	35.5%
	Nat          	57,349    	22.5%
	Lib          	44,380    	17.4%
	Con          	35,602    	14%
	Prog          	19,845    	7.8%
	All          	7,046     	2.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	254,447
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Cst

"Now this is a more right-wing dominated district in Texas...Texas has thirty-six districts and, well, this is the thirty-sixth, in the southern part of East Texas, which is culturally more similar to the Deep South as opposed to the West. And the results reflect that."

Rich (BB code):
	ID-01		
	Cst          	107,942   	30%
	Nat          	77,897    	21.7%
	Prog          	71,634    	19.9%
	Con          	43,195    	12%
	All          	39,343    	10.9%
	Lib          	19,650    	5.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	359,661
			
	MCs elected:		
			Cst
			Nat
			Prog

"Another new state. The state of Idaho, which together with Montana and Wyoming come together with Yellowstone National Park at the centre. Although we have had a tweet from someone called @fobos-grunt11 in Malmö criticising our description of them all as Plains states, as Idaho is really more Rocky Mountain country."

"Yes, under the old system these states were generally considered politically similar and grouped together, but there's a stark contrast between the three here, even if they all remain firmly on the right. Idaho's first district is the western part of the state, referred to as the 'panhandle' although, unlike Oklahoma and Florida, there is no way that looks anything like one, unless your pans all have vertical handles."

"Historically this was sometimes a slightly better area for the old Democrats than the rest of a pretty right-wing state, and the Progressives have secured a seat here. Also look at the Alliance Party! That's a rare case of them coming ahead of the Liberals. Perhaps the hopes of Mr Johnson and his colleagues are not dashed yet after all."

Rich (BB code):
	MO-01		
	Lib          	145,055   	45.4%
	Prog          	101,052   	31.6%
	Nat          	22,224    	7%
	Cst          	21,223    	6.6%
	Con          	16,689    	5.2%
	All          	13,363    	4.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	319,606
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"That's our last result from Missouri. The first district takes in most of the city of Saint Louis, and as you can see, the Liberals in first but the Progressives not that far behind, and nothing for the right-wing parties - the same pattern we've seen in many other urban centres across the nation."

"That also means we can assign the top-up seats..."

Rich (BB code):
	Missouri		
	Nat          	655,072   	23.4%
	Cst          	647,360   	23.1%
	Lib          	537,347   	19.2%
	Prog          	533,721   	19.1%
	Con          	292,079   	10.4%
	All          	135,870   	4.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	2,801,449
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat

"Well. Despite that left-wing district, the highest party is the Nationals - albeit only on a small plurality, and with the Constitution Party not far behind. But that's another two bonus seats to Donald Trump's party..."

"And we can now give our final, filled-out map for Missouri and the states to its south, Arkansas and Louisiana."

Arkansas Louisiana Missouri.png

"Once again, every colour on that map except yellow...a diversity that's a far cry from how these states used to look. And we still have more to see."
 
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