18
"And...are you feeling alright there?"
"Sorry, I just felt a disturbance in the Force, as though millions of voices cried out and were silenced. It's as though some major, relevant world event happened and the author cannot think of a tasteful way to address it in-universe."
"Yes, but enough about your lunatic stalker from Youtube. What's the next results?"
"Well, er, similar to other results we've seen from New Jersey, there's a rather surprising lead for the Nationals, given past experience before the new party system. This is a more rural part of the north of the state, but even so..."
"Quite a contrast to Florida's fourteenth district, which is dominated by the left. This one is centred on Tampa..."
"Other sanitary products are av - sorry, that one just slipped out."
"We are close to filling out the map of the Carolinas. This is quite mixed district in the western part of North Carolina, around the town of Salisbury."
"Oh, they've got a lovely cathedral."
"Not sure if this one has, Andrew. Anyway, the Progressives came very close to taking the third seat, but were pipped to the post by the Constitution Party by a margin of just over a thousand votes. It shows you that, even in a voting system like this one, every vote really does still count."
"From North Carolina to a district in Tennessee that borders it...tenuous link. Another rare poll-topping for the Conservatives, who seem to be making something of a fightback in the inland Upper South region."
"Oh, that sounds very authoritative terminology, tell me more."
"Er..."
"...back to New York, to Brooklyn, and another left-wing district. It looks as though Bernie Sanders coming from the area originally only goes so far, as the Liberals are still firmly on top."
"Speaking of Tennessee-"
"...here's another result? Here it's the Nationals who have edged it over the Conservatives, more in the western part of the state in an area with a lot of military presence...and I can update my map."
"No, I meant something else. We've had a few tweets, and probably a million messages by other methods which we have ignored, asking if we're going to be speaking to any local Americans about the elections. Well, things did get delayed by how many results we had unexpectedly early, and Katty's explanations about the parties. But, of course, we are going to speak to some American experts and voters. And we'll start with two people who already happened to be in the building, Rich Hall and Reginald D Hunter!"
The large screen cut away to Emily Maitlis speaking to the two panel show regulars. "Now, you're two of the most regular American faces on British TV. What do you make of all this?"
"You do know we don't actually live here anymore?" Hunter intoned sonorously.
"I spend some time on a ranch in Montana every so often, actually, writin' s - stuff," Hall corrected him. "But seein' as my neighbours live three miles away, don't ask me how they plan to vote."
"Um..." Maitlis was briefly flummoxed. "But what do you think of the changes President Obama has made to the voting system?"
"Listen, as long as we don't have no more hangin' chads an' recounts, that's got to be a step up," Hall replied.
"Less material though," Hunter observed. "It's like I said to them (bleeps) at the bleep, this bleep gonna keep doin' the same bleep stories for years if I can still have that free healthcare."
"Um...yes," Maitlis said. "Reginald, why does your lapel mike keep emitting regular loud sound effect bleeps?"
"It's easier for the live broadcasts," Hall explained, "just in case he slips and says n-"
The broadcast was mercifully interrupted by a blast of static. When it cleared, a vaguely-familiar looking, bespectacled man in a suit was there. "Attention BBC!" he squawked. "Do not adjust your sets! I am taking control as the only British person allowed to commentate on America! Trump has a stupid name! It is 2015! I am cool and edgy and say bad things about the Queen! Pay attention to me me me me me-" The screen cut off.
"Well I'm sorry to the viewers at home there, we appear to have been interrupted by ah...who was that strange sad man?"
"Failed panel show contestant I think, probably jealous of Rich and Reginald getting screentime. Well, let's move on."
"Another New York seat, from the upstate, this time, and this one actually takes in Niagara Falls, interestingly - or at least the American side of it. Unlike some parts of the upstate, the left is still in the ascendance here."
"This New Jersey district is urban and straight across the river from Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, part of the same conurbation really, so it's striking that the results are quite different - the Nationals really do seem to have more support in New Jersey. Even though they've also scored some strong votes in Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia itself they're way behind."
"And speaking of Pennsylvania...perhaps the difference is just that the Fusionists have done a better job of splitting the right-wing vote here, as they've obtained another seat. And another map update..."
"Sorry, I just felt a disturbance in the Force, as though millions of voices cried out and were silenced. It's as though some major, relevant world event happened and the author cannot think of a tasteful way to address it in-universe."
"Yes, but enough about your lunatic stalker from Youtube. What's the next results?"
Rich (BB code):
NJ-07
Nat 132,735 35.7%
Lib 114,917 30.9%
Prog 65,613 17.7%
Fus 43,651 11.7%
All 14,677 3.9%
Cst 0 0%
Con 0 0%
Total 371,592
MCs elected:
Nat
Lib
Nat"Well, er, similar to other results we've seen from New Jersey, there's a rather surprising lead for the Nationals, given past experience before the new party system. This is a more rural part of the north of the state, but even so..."
Rich (BB code):
FL-14
Lib 127,568 38.6%
Prog 61,302 18.6%
Nat 54,749 16.6%
Con 50,643 15.3%
Cst 23,405 7.1%
All 12,766 3.9%
Fus 0 0%
Total 330,433
MCs elected:
Lib
Lib
Prog"Quite a contrast to Florida's fourteenth district, which is dominated by the left. This one is centred on Tampa..."
"Other sanitary products are av - sorry, that one just slipped out."
Rich (BB code):
NC-13
Lib 89,687 24.6%
Nat 82,522 22.7%
Cst 71,454 19.6%
Prog 70,317 19.3%
Con 40,193 11%
All 9,677 2.7%
Fus 0 0%
Total 363,851
MCs elected:
Lib
Nat
Cst"We are close to filling out the map of the Carolinas. This is quite mixed district in the western part of North Carolina, around the town of Salisbury."
"Oh, they've got a lovely cathedral."
"Not sure if this one has, Andrew. Anyway, the Progressives came very close to taking the third seat, but were pipped to the post by the Constitution Party by a margin of just over a thousand votes. It shows you that, even in a voting system like this one, every vote really does still count."
Rich (BB code):
TN-03
Con 72,861 26.4%
Nat 70,341 25.4%
Lib 52,809 19.1%
Cst 37,730 13.6%
Prog 30,714 11.1%
All 12,001 4.3%
Fus 0 0%
Total 276,457
MCs elected:
Con
Nat
Lib"From North Carolina to a district in Tennessee that borders it...tenuous link. Another rare poll-topping for the Conservatives, who seem to be making something of a fightback in the inland Upper South region."
"Oh, that sounds very authoritative terminology, tell me more."
"Er..."
Rich (BB code):
NY-09
Lib 134,538 53%
Prog 77,274 30.4%
Nat 21,441 8.4%
Fus 15,159 6%
All 5,377 2.1%
Cst 0 0%
Con 0 0%
Total 253,789
MCs elected:
Lib
Prog
Lib"...back to New York, to Brooklyn, and another left-wing district. It looks as though Bernie Sanders coming from the area originally only goes so far, as the Liberals are still firmly on top."
"Speaking of Tennessee-"
Rich (BB code):
TN-07
Nat 76,001 26.1%
Con 72,090 24.7%
Lib 54,542 18.7%
Cst 48,757 16.7%
Prog 27,771 9.5%
All 12,400 4.3%
Fus 0 0%
Total 291,561
MCs elected:
Nat
Con
Lib"...here's another result? Here it's the Nationals who have edged it over the Conservatives, more in the western part of the state in an area with a lot of military presence...and I can update my map."
"No, I meant something else. We've had a few tweets, and probably a million messages by other methods which we have ignored, asking if we're going to be speaking to any local Americans about the elections. Well, things did get delayed by how many results we had unexpectedly early, and Katty's explanations about the parties. But, of course, we are going to speak to some American experts and voters. And we'll start with two people who already happened to be in the building, Rich Hall and Reginald D Hunter!"
The large screen cut away to Emily Maitlis speaking to the two panel show regulars. "Now, you're two of the most regular American faces on British TV. What do you make of all this?"
"You do know we don't actually live here anymore?" Hunter intoned sonorously.
"I spend some time on a ranch in Montana every so often, actually, writin' s - stuff," Hall corrected him. "But seein' as my neighbours live three miles away, don't ask me how they plan to vote."
"Um..." Maitlis was briefly flummoxed. "But what do you think of the changes President Obama has made to the voting system?"
"Listen, as long as we don't have no more hangin' chads an' recounts, that's got to be a step up," Hall replied.
"Less material though," Hunter observed. "It's like I said to them (bleeps) at the bleep, this bleep gonna keep doin' the same bleep stories for years if I can still have that free healthcare."
"Um...yes," Maitlis said. "Reginald, why does your lapel mike keep emitting regular loud sound effect bleeps?"
"It's easier for the live broadcasts," Hall explained, "just in case he slips and says n-"
The broadcast was mercifully interrupted by a blast of static. When it cleared, a vaguely-familiar looking, bespectacled man in a suit was there. "Attention BBC!" he squawked. "Do not adjust your sets! I am taking control as the only British person allowed to commentate on America! Trump has a stupid name! It is 2015! I am cool and edgy and say bad things about the Queen! Pay attention to me me me me me-" The screen cut off.
"Well I'm sorry to the viewers at home there, we appear to have been interrupted by ah...who was that strange sad man?"
"Failed panel show contestant I think, probably jealous of Rich and Reginald getting screentime. Well, let's move on."
Rich (BB code):
NY-26
Lib 91,821 30.2%
Prog 83,515 27.4%
Nat 73,794 24.2%
Fus 41,764 13.7%
All 13,546 4.4%
Cst 0 0%
Con 0 0%
Total 304,440
MCs elected:
Lib
Prog
Nat"Another New York seat, from the upstate, this time, and this one actually takes in Niagara Falls, interestingly - or at least the American side of it. Unlike some parts of the upstate, the left is still in the ascendance here."
Rich (BB code):
NJ-01
Lib 122,315 37.2%
Nat 91,418 27.8%
Prog 77,071 23.4%
Fus 27,462 8.3%
All 10,922 3.3%
Cst 0 0%
Con 0 0%
Total 329,188
MCs elected:
Lib
Nat
Prog"This New Jersey district is urban and straight across the river from Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, part of the same conurbation really, so it's striking that the results are quite different - the Nationals really do seem to have more support in New Jersey. Even though they've also scored some strong votes in Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia itself they're way behind."
Rich (BB code):
PA-15
Nat 99,905 29.8%
Lib 75,962 22.7%
Fus 73,692 22%
Prog 72,118 21.5%
All 13,192 3.9%
Cst 0 0%
Con 0 0%
Total 334,869
MCs elected:
Nat
Lib
Fus"And speaking of Pennsylvania...perhaps the difference is just that the Fusionists have done a better job of splitting the right-wing vote here, as they've obtained another seat. And another map update..."
