The Last Christmas
A festive Yuletide Tale
Lord of Elfland (Álfheimr to 1215)
0000-1100:
Wodan (The Divine King)
1100-1215:
Old Father Yule (Pagan)
1215-2018:
Saint Nicholas of Myra (Christian)
2018-2018:
collective (Sons of Odin Provisional Revolutionary Government)
Although the stories of the Elfin people are mainly lost to time, human folklorists and historians have been able to establish a rough chronology of the rise and fall of the one known to humans as "Santa Claus" from 1215-2018. According to Elfin lore, "Elfland" (a sub-dimensional realm accessible at the North Pole via the Aurora) was created by the chief god "Wodan" at the beginning of time and was, for a time, ruled over by Wodan himself until 1100 AD when, with the power of the "Old Gods" waning with the expansion of the Kingdom of the White Christ, Wodan returned to Asgard. In his place he left Old Father Yule, a benevolent spirit of the forest (and our "Father Christmas") as the guardian of the elves. He would begin the tradition of gift-giving in Álfheimr and beyond, which would continue for 114 years, starting with the "Jolly Ride" of 1100 and the giving of gifts to Norse children. Though a wise and kind ruler, however, Old Father Yule became weakened as faith in the old gods waned, and by 1200 as Christianity had spread all across Scandinavia, Northern Germany, and the British Isles, he was often too weak to effectively manage his domain.
By 1207, Álfheimr had caught the attention of one Saint Nicholas of Myra. An ancient Christian figure who, with his fellow saints, had been returned to Earth to act as silent guides to their fellow men, and with angels in tow, St Nicholas was displeased that the word of god had yet to be spread to the Elfin peoples of the Far North. Summing an army from across Christendom and backed by a divine host, Nicholas would launch the "Silent Crusade" against Old Father Yule in 1208, and fire and iron would rain down upon the peaceful Elfin people. By 1215, St Nicholas and his men had managed to gain control of the entirety of Álfheimr and, hoping to supervise a conversion of the long-lived Elves to Christianity, Nicholas took personal stewardship of the "Elflands", renamed to remove the last vestige of Paganism. Worship of Wodan was outlawed, Old Father Yule had been exiled, and roamed the British Isles (where, by all accounts, he remains to this day, sighted by, among others, a bookish Oxford Don with a penchant for brave little people) and the population of Álfheimr were left under the tyrannous rule of old St Nick and his men. Curiously, the tradition of the "Jolly Ride" was maintained, seen as an act of magnificent Christian charity, and recostitued as a celebration of Christmastide.
Through the years Nicholas' crusaders died off but, with the magic of the Lord of Elfland at his grasp, he was able to live on and, with the help of his angelic warriors, he maintained power over Elfland. Over eight centuries of Christmas rides were carried out, and even as the "Age of Gods" came finally to an end with the retreat from the world of the White Christ's power and his "silent dominion", Nicholas of Myra continued to spread joy around the world with his gift giving, even as his subjects languished under his oppressive regime. By the 19th century St Nicholas had rather lost his way, and Elfland had become a vast, industrial, machine dedicated to bringing toys to the children of men, and doling out punishment where Nicholas saw fit. None no quite when they emerged, but the Sons of Odin eventually rose from the mass of oppressed elves, a group of political terrorists who, under the yolk of Nicholas, had grown tired of their ways being suppressed and their labour enslaved. Years of violence and insurgency finally gave way, in 2018, to the "Year Without a Christmas".
On Christmas Eve 2018, the Sons of Odin, aided by rebel aligned workers in St Nicholas' central Toy Manufactory were able to seize control of his citadel and, with the loss of hundreds of their kind, break Old Father Yule's staff and free both themselves, and Elfland's enslaved reindeer, from his grasp. With their own control over their lands restored, the wise and kind Einar the Meek used the "Yule Staff" to banish the Angellic host. A Kangaroo Court soon found Saint Nicholas guilty of usurpation, enslavement, religious suppression, and all manner of other crimes and, to the shock and horror of a world which had woken up without presents or Festive joy, he was executed in a broadcast to the world's governments on Christmas morning. The Provisional Government would be prompt, swift, and merciless in carrying out "justice", and, for all its claims to have restored an era of freedom for Elfkind, many elves were executed or imprisoned for "collaboration", and much of Elfland's Christian population were forced into exile in Europe and North America, brining elves and humans into contact for the first time. As it held elections to elect a "Speaker" for its people on the 31st December 2018, the Provisional Government, in its final act, awarded the "Elfin Star" to General James Mathis who had intervened to prevent President Trump from "Showing those Elves what Merry Christmas really means" (Donald J. Trump, Twitter, December 25th, 2018).
Speaker of the Elfin People
2019-2021:
Einar Freedom Bringer (Sons of Odin)
2018 (Majority) def. Sigurd the Coward (Christmas League), Halldór the Kind (Reindeer Rights)
2021-2023:
Blær Brave Heart (Sons of Odin)
2020 (Majority) def. Halldór the Kind (Reindeer Rights), Nikola Claus (Christmas League)
2023-2025:
Einar Freedom Bringer (Sons of Odin)
2022 (Majority) def. Björn the Festive (Yuletide)
2025-
0000: Björn the Festive (Yuletide)
2024 (Majority) def. Eric the Swift (Sons of Odin), Asleif (Álfheimr Front), Rudolf the Black (Dökkálfar Rights Alliance)
It was only natural that the Sons of Odin, the liberators of Elfland, were elected in a landslide on the 31st December 2018, and the hero Einar Freedom Bringer took office for a two year term as Speaker on the 1st January, defeating Sigurd the Coward (a Christian pro-Nicholas elf who, despite the name conveyed by his enemies had distinguished himself in the War on Christmas) and Halldór the King, the popular champion of the rights of the country's reindeer population who had been used as beasts of burden by Saint Nicholas and elves alike. Establishing friendly relations with the European Union and Canada, the "Republic of Elfland", the first formally Pagan nation admitted to the UN was unable to develop a strong relationship with the US or Russia, and the lingering animosity about Trump's threats to go to war to reinstall Nicholas (even after he had died) only made things worse.
As December 2019 rolled around it became clear that, with the Elves still busy rebuilding and with no love lost between elves and men, there would be no Christmas. 2020 was much the same. Einar was followed by Blær Braveheart, the last surviving Captain of the Sons who, with her fearless dedication to the cause, had led the assault on Nicholas' Citadel. Like Einar, who had stepped down to establish a limit of one consecutive term, Blær was committed to Elfin democracy, the gradual transformation of Nicholas' factories into a genuine industrial economy (despite the grumbling of the more "traditionalist" Elfin nationalists in the Sons) and, thanks to Halldór's success in the 2021 election, the passage of the Reindeer Rights Act. The "collaborator" Christmas League, meanwhile, sunk to an embarrassing fourth place as Nikola Claus, Nicholas' daughter, was put up as a token candidate who, having fled to the US, was leading the fun-raising efforts for "Noraid 2" to fund Christian resistance to the Sons.
By 2023, however, the former Christmas League had somewhat improved its standing, and Björn the Festive would win a respectable second place on a platform which, whilst accepting the crimes of Nicholas and his acolytes, questioned why "The Yuletide" couldn't be a chance to bring merriment to all. Compared to the earnest Einar and his plans to build a strong market economy, Björn seemed rather jovial and electable to many Elves. His victory, however, would come with the shattering of the Sons of Odin in 2024, and the walkout of the party by the "Álfheimr Front", a radical traditionalist offshoot who supported a return to "Orthodox Wodanism", the abandonment of the Nordic names conferred by Nicholas, and the recalamation of the Elfin people's mythic past. This was, of course, partly a constructed past (with a heavy influence from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien who, having met Old Father Yule, had "borrowed" some of his descriptions of the pre-Nicholas Álfheimr. Nevertheless, with the emergence of a movement for the right of the "Dark Elves" who had been discovered at the South Pole and forced out by Argentina, and had entered the Republic as refugees, their slogan of "Álfheimr for the Ljósálfar" began to resonate.
Einar, who had grown tired of governing and wanted another
real adventure with Blær and their old friends announced he would not run for a third term later that year, and instead declared that he would be leading a mission to spread the word of Odin and the Elfin way to the rest of the world in the hopes of normalising relations. In his place Eric the Swift, another veteran of the war, was selected by the Sons but, with none of the charisma of Björn the Festive, and with Asleif's radicalism dividing the nationalist vote, he narrowly lost the 2024 election, and a divided electorate saw the Yuletide Party win a slim majority. Now as December 2025 fast approaches, and the toy factories fire up again - for a small fee from human parents around the world, of course - the entice spirit seems to be gearing up again for the first time in seven years. Somewhere, as his elves praise Wodan and gear up to spread a thoroughly non-Christian winter joy, Old Father Yule is smiling merrily.
Merry Yuletide everyone!