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Biaggi’s Other Opium Den

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine
i can’t wait for 2025 when liberals praise president jean-christophe lagarde as a contrast to president josh hawley and call for the giant hobbesian french god kings to smite all of the alt right
 

gentleman biaggi

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Pronouns
he/they is fine
...i just realized...
...bill maher would be a scoop jackson democrat in an ATL....

Presidents of the United States:
Henry M. Jackson (D-WA)/Gaylord Nelson (D-WI) 1977-1983

Gaylord Nelson (D-WI)/none 1983-1983
Gaylord Nelson (D-WI)/William Winter (D-MS) 1983-1985
1976 Def. Gerald Ford (R-MI)/Buddy Cianci (R-RI)
1980 Def. Ronald Reagan (R-CA)/Donald Rumsfeld (R-IL) John B. Anderson (I-IL)/Walter Cronkite (I-NY)
Buddy Cianci (R-RI)/John Tower (R-TX) 1985-1993

1984 Def. Gaylord Nelson (D-WI)/William Winter (D-MS) John B. Anderson (NU-IL)/Ron Dellums (NU-CA)
1988 Def. William J. Brown (D-OH)/Chuck Robb (D-TX)
Thomas Docking (D-KS)/Pat Moynihan (D-NY) 1993-1997

Def. John Tower (R-TX)/Jim Lightfoot (R-IA) Jack Chick (C-CA)/Howard Phillips (C-VA)
Judd Gregg (R-NH)/Clyde Holloway (R-LA) 1997-2005
1996 Def. Thomas Docking (D-KS)/Pat Moynihan (D-NY)
2000 Def. John Driscoll (D-MT)/James Woosley (D-OK)
Thomas Docking (D-KS)/David Minge (D-MN) 2005-2009

Def. Christopher Buckley (R-CT)/Ken Blackwell (R-OH)
Ken Blackwell (R-OH)/Linda Schrenko (R-GA) 2009-2013

Def. David Minge (D-MN)/Rick Perry (D-TX)
Bill Maher (D-CA)/Lindsay Graham (D-SC) 2013-????
2012 Def. Ken Blackwell (R-OH)/Linda Schrenko (R-GA)
2016 Def. Gary Johnson (R-NM)/Bob Corker (R-TN) Ian Bavitz (AW-NY)/Gar Alperovitz (AW-WI)
 

gentleman biaggi

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Pronouns
he/they is fine
Presidents of the United States:
Al Gore (Democratic) 2001-2005

Def. (with Tom Harkin) George W. Bush (Republican) Ralph Nader (Green)
Sam Brownback (Republican) 2005-2013
2004 Def. (with Frank Keating) Al Gore (Democratic)
2008 Def. (with Frank Keating) Tom Daschle (Democratic) Lincoln Chafee (New Conscience Republicans)
Mel Carnahan (Democratic) 2013-????

2012 Def. (with Barbara Lee) Peter Coors (Republican) Christine Todd Whitman (NCR) Ron Paul (Libertarian)
2016 Def. (with Barbra Lee) Ron Saxton (Republican) Brian Dubie (NCR)

I promised @jonnguy2018 that i’d make this if he gave a good reason to vote for joe biden that didn’t involve trump, he said something about gays, because i like gays i had to accept it

here’s the cliffs notes:
-in 2000 al gore picks BASED KING tom harkin as his running mate and runs with bill clinton, as a result he wins NH, AR, WV, TN, and, yes, FL, and we never care about the bushes again
-gore picks BITCH WHORE gary hart as his CIA director and because hart predicted 9/11 would happen like a week before it happened, he’s able to do ONE FUCKING THING TO REDEEM HIMSELF FROM RUINING THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY I HATE GARY HART SO MUCH and stops 9/11
-al gore does some cool shit like appoint liberals on the supreme court, not go to war in a bunch of countries, and passes oodles of green legislation, but because he’s an evul liberal marxist anarchist the republicans destroy him in 2002 and he’s basically lame duckified for 2 years
-sam brownback rides the back of tons of conservative discontent to beat gore in 04 as people are just tired of democrats by that point
-brownback administration basically does all the non-dictatory shit from rumsfeldia and also goes to war in iraq, but does so to defend the kurds, which... does NOT end well, especially with turkey and is just such a mess
-lincoln chafee splits from the republicans (like allies john mccain and jim jeffords did in 2000 ittl) but this time forms a “New Conscience Republicans” party after 2007 (the beginning of ittl’s iraq war) because we are all margret chase smith stans here
-the NCR preforms okay in 2008, and as such is able to stick around, particularly in states like alaska, maine, new hampshire, connecticut, and others that don’t really fit the modern two party system
-the 08 recession is butterflied away to ~2009 but it hits like 50 times harder because brownback and his MASSIVE senate majorities stripped away every inch of a regulatory state
-oh also the chickens come to roost in iraq and as such the syrians and iranians enter the conflict, this does not end well
-the 2010 elections are a massive democratic/NCR landslide and in 2011 god king walt brown becomes the first socialist member of confess in almost a century
-brownback is utterly fucked after 2010 and is remembered mostly as a placeholder president
-the 2012 election proudly features mel carnahan beating the shit out of some coors failson en route to a massive electoral landslide, meanwhile the NCR continues its solid northeastern performance, and also ron paul runs and wins *checks notes* new hampshire
-the democratic-NCR gains of 2010 do not go to waste as carnahan passes some mad economically progressive legislation (particularly when it comes to healthcare) but gets hurt in 2014 and while the structure of a new plan is put in place, it still isn’t complete
-in 2016 carnahan destroys some idiot from oregon after ending the iraq mess during the election season which only boosts his popularity
-yay!
 

gentleman biaggi

Based Slight Top
Pronouns
he/they is fine
completely stupid RNG idea i had:

2000 Election:
Democratic Nominee:
(RNG 1-5, 1 = Senator, 2 = Governor, 3 = Representative, 4 = Former or Current VP, 5 = Former or Current Cabinet Member): 3, Representative
(RNG 1-50: Number correlates to state in alphabetical order): 50, Wyoming
(RNG 1-2: Current = 1, Former = 2): 1, Current
2000 DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE: Barbra Cubin (famously a Republican)

Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee:
(RNG 1-5): 5, Former or Current Cabinet Member
(RNG 1-3: 1 & 2 = Clinton Cabinet, 3 = Carter Cabinet): 3, Carter Cabinet
(RNG 1-18, based on the presidential line of succession of the Carter cabinet in 1981): 11, Shirley Hufstedler
2000 DEMOCRATIC VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Shirley Hufstedler

Republican Nominee:
(RNG 1-5): 4, Current or Former Vice President)
(RNG 1-5, 1-4 = Dan Quayle, 1-5 = George H.W. Bush): 2, Dan Quayle
2000 REPUBLICAN NOMINEE: Dan Quayle

Republican Vice Presidential Nominee:
(RNG 1-5): 3, Representative
(RNG 1-50): 42, Texas
(RNG 1-2): 1, Current
(RNG 1-30, Based on the # of Representatives the state has): 25, Ken Bentsen
2000 REPUBLICAN VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Ken Bentsen (a Democrat)

Major Third Party?:
(RNG 1-15, 1-5 = No, 5-8 = Reform, 8-11 = Green, 11-13 = Libertarian, 13-14 = Natural Law, 14-15 = Independent): 15, Independent
(RNG 1-8, same as above but #6-8 is “kook biaggi gets to choose”): 6, Lyndon LaRouche
INDEPENDENT NOMINEE: Lyndon LaRouche

Major Third Party Running Mate?:
(1-8): 1, Senator
(1-50): 40, South Dakota
(1-4, Class, 1-2 = Class 2, 3-4 = Class 3): 1, Tim Johnson
INDEPENDENT VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Tim Johnson

Campaign Developments Pt. 1:
(RNG 1-35: 1-10: boring campaign, 10-15: October Surprise kills Democratic candidate’s chances, 15-20: October Surprise kills Republican candidates chances, 20-21: Assassination attempt on Republican nominee, 21-22: Assassination attempt on Democratic nominee, 22-23: Assassination attempt on Independent candidate, 23-28: Economic decline hurts incumbent party’s [Democrats] candidate, 28-33: Economic improvement hurts opposition party’s [Republicans] candidate, 33-34: Independent allowed in debates, 34-35: A candidate drops out): 23, assassination attempt on independent candidate [Lyndon LaRouche]
Assassination Attempt Successful? (RNG 1-100, 1-90 = No, 90-100 = Yes): 21, NO
Result: +1 added to chances in “Election Results”

Campaign Developments Pt. 2:
(RNG 1-35): 25, Economic decline hurts incumbent party’s [Democrats] candidate
Result: -5 added to chances in “Election Results”

Results:
(RNG 1-100, 1-45 = Republican victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 40-80 = Democratic victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 80-90 = Republican victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 90-95 = Democratic victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 95-97 = Independent victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 97-99 = Independent victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 99-100 = no electoral college majority): 52, Democratic Victory in Electoral + Popular Vote

Major Third Party Results:
(RNG 1-30, 1-20 = 5%, 20-25 = 10%, 25-27 = 15%, 27-28 = 20%, 28-29 = 25%, 29-30 = 30%): 27, 15%

Presidents of the United States:
Barbra Cubin/Shirley Hufstedler (Plains Republican endorsed by “Majority Democratic”) 2001-0000

Def. Dan Quayle/Ken Bentsen (National Republican endorsed by “New Democratic”) Lyndon LaRouche/Tim Johnson (Independent endorsed by “LaRouchist” Democratic)
 

Kaiser Julius

Well-known member
2000 Election:
Democratic Nominee:
5: Former or Current Cabinet Member
2: Clinton Cabinet
15: Bill Richardson
2000 DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE: Bill Richardson

Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee:
2: Governor
45: Vermont
2: Current
2000 DEMOCRATIC VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Howard Dean

Republican Nominee:
3: Rep
9: Florida
1: Current
2000 REPUBLICAN NOMINEE: Daniel Webster

Republican Vice Presidential Nominee:
5: Former or Current Cabinet Member
(1= Reagan, 2=Bush) 2: Bush
10: Elizabeth Dole
2000 REPUBLICAN VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Elizabeth Dole

Major Third Party?:
2: No
INDEPENDENT NOMINEE: No-one special

Campaign Developments Pt. 1:
8: Boring

Campaign Developments Pt. 2:
19: October Surprise kills Republican chances. His support for homeschooling comes back to bite him somehow.
Result:

Results:
58: Democratic Victory in Electoral + Popular Vote
2001- : Secretary Bill Richardson of New Mexico/Governor Howard Dean of Vermont (Democrat)
2000: Governor Daniel Webster of Florida/Secretary Elizabeth Dole of Kansas (Republican)
 

Stuyvesant

Just wait until I actually get my shit together
Location
The Place Beyond The Pines
Pronouns
he/him
2001-: Vice President Al Gore of Tennessee/Former Senator Harris Wofford of Pennsylvania (Democratic)
def. 2000: Former President George H.W. Bush of Texas/Former Vice President Dan Quayle of Indiana (Republican), Businessman Tom Golisano/Former Secretary of Health and Human Services Patricia Roberts Harris (Reform)
 

gentleman biaggi

Based Slight Top
Pronouns
he/they is fine
2004 Election:
National Democratic-Prairie Republican Nomination:
(RNG 1-10: 1-8 Incumbent runs for re-election, 8-10, incumbent does not): 6, incumbent runs for re-election
(RNG 1-100: 1-95: Incumbent President doesn’t face a serious challenger, 95-100: incumbent president DOES): 63, no serious challenger
NDPR NOMINEE: Barbra Cubin

National Democratic-Prairie Republican Vice Presidential Nomination:
(RNG 1-100: 1-90: Incumbent President doesn’t replace VP, 90-100, incumbent president DOES): 71, incumbent VP re-nominated
NDPR VP NOMINEE: Shirley Hufstedler

National Republican-New Democratic Nomination:
(RNG 1-5): 1, Senator
(RNG 1-50): 46, Washington
(RNG 1-2): 1, Current
(RNG 1-4): 4, Class 3

NRND NOMINEE: Patty Murray

National Republican-New Democratic Vice Presidential Nomination
(RNG 1-5): 3, Representative
(RNG 1-50): 13, Illinois
(RNG 1-19): IL-5
(RNG 1-2): 1, Current

NRND VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Rahm Emmanuel

Major Third Party Candidate?:
(RNG 1-15): 12, Green
(RNG 1-8): 7, Angela Davis

GREEN NOMINEE: Angela Davis

Major Third Party Vice Presidential Candidate?:
(RNG 1-8): 6, Lenora Fulani

Campaign Developments Pt.1:
(RNG 1-35): 17, The fact that they’re both Democrats is an October surprise for Republicans
(-5 to chances in Results)

Campaign Developments Pt.2:
(RNG 1-35): 30, economy improves for incumbent party
(+5 chances in Results)

Results:
(RNG 1-110, 1-40 = Republican victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 45-95 = Democratic victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, = 95-100 Republican victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 100-105 = Democratic victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 105-106 = Independent victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 106-107 = Independent victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 107-110 = no electoral college majority): 90, Democratic Victory in Electoral + Popular Vote
RIP REPUBLICANS

Major Third Party Results:
(RNG 1-28): 28, 25%


Presidents of the United States:
Barbra Cubin/Shirley Hufstedler (Plains Republican endorsed by “Majority Democratic”) 2001-2002
Barbra Cubin/Shirley Hufstedler (NDPR) 2002-0000

2000 Def. Dan Quayle/Ken Bentsen (National Republican endorsed by “New Democratic”) Lyndon LaRouche/Tim Johnson (Independent endorsed by “LaRouchist” Democratic)
2004 Def. Patty Murray/Rahm Emmanuel (NRND) Angela Davis/Lenora Fulani (Green)
 
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Kaiser Julius

Well-known member
2001-05: Secretary Bill Richardson of New Mexico/Governor Howard Dean of Vermont (Democrat)
2000: Governor Daniel Webster of Florida/Secretary Elizabeth Dole of Kansas (Republican)
2005- : Governor David Beasley of South Carolina/Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota (Republican)
2004: President Bill Richardson of New Mexico/Governor Angus King of Maine (Democrat), Vice President Howard Dean of Vermont/Fmr. Vice President Walter Mondale of Minnesota (Libertarian)
 

gentleman biaggi

Based Slight Top
Pronouns
he/they is fine
2008 Election
National Democratic-Prairie Republican Nomination:
(RNG 1-5): 5, Cabinet Member
(RNG 1-4: 1-2: Clinton Cabinet, 3 Carter Cabinet, 4 choose someone for the incumbent cabinet): 4

NDPR NOMINEE: Dave Freudenthal

National Democratic-Prairie Republican Vice Presidential Nomination:
(RNG 1-5): 1, Senator
(RNG 1-50): 6, Colorado
(RNG 1-2): 1, Current
(RNG 1-4, 1-2 is Class II, 3-4 is Class III): Wayne Allard

NDPR VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Wayne Allard

National Republican-New Democratic Nominee:
(RNG 1-5): 1, Senator
(RNG 1-50): 18, Louisiana
(RNG 1-2): 2, Former
[Dealers Choice]: Elaine Edwards

NRND NOMINEE: Elaine Edwards

National Republican-New Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee:
(RNG 1-5): 2, Governor
(RNG 1-50): 3, Arizona
(RNG 1-2): 2, Former
[Dealer’s Choice], Jane Dee Hull

NRND VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Jane Dee Hull

Major Third Party Candidate:
(RNG 1-15): 6, Reform
(RNG 1-8): 2, Governor
(RNG 1-50): 18, Governor
(RNG 1-2): 1, Current

REFORM NOMINEE: Bobby Jindal

Major Third Party Vice Presidential Candidate:
(RNG 1-8): 3, Representative
(RNG 1-50): 39, South Carolina
(RNG 1-6): 6, Jim Clyburn

REFORM VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: Jim Clyburn

Campaign Developments Pt.1:
(RNG 1-35): 2, Boring Campaign

Campaign Developments Pt.2:
(RNG 1-35): 9, Boring Campaign

Results:
(RNG 1-103, 1-40 = Opposition victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 40-80 = Incumbent victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 80-90 = Republican victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 90-100 = Democratic victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 100-101= Independent victory in Electoral + Popular Vote, 101-102= Independent victory in Electoral Vote ONLY, 102-103 = no electoral college majority): 68

FREUDENTHAL VICTORY

Third Party Results:
(RNG 1-30): 26, 15%

Presidents of the United States:

Barbra Cubin/Shirley Hufstedler (Plains Republican endorsed by “Majority Democratic”) 2001-2002
Barbra Cubin/Shirley Hufstedler (NDPR) 2002-2009

2000 Def. Dan Quayle/Ken Bentsen (National Republican endorsed by “New Democratic”) Lyndon LaRouche/Tim Johnson (Independent endorsed by “LaRouchist” Democratic)
2004 Def. Patty Murray/Rahm Emmanuel (NRND) Angela Davis/Lenora Fulani (Green)
Dave Fruedenthal/Wayne Allard (NDPR) 2009-0000

Def. Elaine Edwards/Jane Dee Hull (NRND) Bobby Jindal/Jim Clyburn (Reform)
 
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