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Biaggi’s Other Opium Den

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gentleman biaggi said:
cousin tito is the song of choice for my baseball team rn
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Told Neph I die, take my lick phone
I'm so high, I don't think I'ma get home
Might run off the road and kill myself
Sometimes I wake up, wanna kill myself
How would you feel if I killed myself?
I look in the mirror and wanna shoot myself
My worst enemy is myself
I ain't really worried about nobody else
Up the Glick and do it to myself
I don't sell crack to rap about it
And n**** I don't do it for my health
I do it 'cause I don't really know nothing else
You know how many times they told me I'ma fail?
All alone, I be calling for help
They say my Cousin Tito killed hisself
But I know damn well he ain't kill hisself
 
Peak Biaggi (?)
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    • theev said:
    www.politico.com

    Who’s In Charge of America After a Catastrophe? Who Knows?

    If only presidential succession were as clear as Hollywood suggests.
    www.politico.com www.politico.com


    Holy shit.
    Click to expand...
    Can’t You See That It’s All Fallen Out of My Hands

    2001-2003: Larry Summers (Democratic)
    2001: 1/20 Attacks occur, killing President-Elect Bush and everyone attending his inauguration, designated survivor Larry Summers takes power as president, however he does so with almost no congress (until appointments are made by governors).
    2001: A constitutional amendment to hold a “National Special Election” in 2002 is proposed by a rump congress and passes near-immediately.
    2001: The United States begins heavy deregulation on fossil fuels
    2001: Amidst a “panic recession” due to economic problems believed to be caused by “1/20 Shock”, Summers administration jumps interest rates to cut inflation, unemployment grows massively. Many declare “darkness” to have befallen USA.
    2002: Wesley Clark is nominated jointly by Republican and Democratic Parties as he declares “war” against “enemies who tore our state apart”.
    2002: Governor John Kitzhaber forms New Party to run against Clark, becomes #1 challenger as the two hold debates.
    2003-2007: Wesley Clark (National Union)
    2002 def. (with Norman Schwarzkopf) John Kitzhaber (New)
    2003: Clark keeps on Sec. Summers as economy continues to hurt under “tight-money” policies.
    2003-05: War on Terror begins, USA invades Iraq, Iran, Syria, and Sudan in storm of post-terror sadism.
    2003: “Organizational Camps” open for “members of Fifth Columns” in war on terror. Notably used to harass Arabs in USA.
    2003: Report finds ties between Saudi Royal Family and 1/20 attackers. Although USA never declared war, relations are hurt, and attacks against USA forces increase.
    2004: Peiro Scaruffi (N) becomes Senator from California. Declares Clark “idiot” and says Saudi Royal Family is part of “Global Islamist Conspiracy”, also attacks Beatles
    2005: Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson resigns over connections to Jeffery Epstein, pedophile millionaire financier, Epsteins arrest begins far right “Save Our Children” movement.
    2005: Amendment allowing all USA citizens, regardless of country of birth, passes.
    2007-2015: Peiro Scaruffi (New)
    2006 def. (with Jean Carnahan) Arnold Schwarzenegger (Republican), Robert Kennedy Jr. (Democratic), Mike Huckabee (S.O.C.)
    2007: USA Pedophile Trials begin, arresting various leaders, such as George Mitchell (already serving a RICO charge for fraudulent MLB steroid report), Donald Trump, Ringo Starr, various clergy leadership, and many more, lead to “Era of Broken Hope”, Scaruffi declares “liberal revolution”.
    2007: National Gun Registration Act becomes most comprehensive act restricting gun use in America.
    2007: Scaruffi compares homosexual marriage to pedophilia, later walks back statement says he was “misrepresented”.
    2007: Troop numbers are seriously decreased in War on Terror countries, however USA presence remains.
    2007: East Asia Free Trade Act signed, creates Free Trade policy with Japan, South Korea, and Vietnam
    2008: S.O.C. merges with New Party for midterms, NP sweeps elections.
    2009: After large mandate Scaruffi administration sees large expansion of infrastructure.
    2009: Assisted suicide legalized across USA.
    2009: Department of Artificial Intelligence begins
    2010 def. (with Jean Carnahan) Andrew Cuomo (Democratic), Robert Healey (Cool Moose) Rick Santorum (Republican)
    2011: Scaruffi states increased ages of humans are creating “weaker species”, faces major criticism.
    2011: Scaruffi invites Captain Beefheart to the White House
    2011: The last “Organization Camp” closes in Superior region of Michigan
    2012: America-China Summit creates warmest relations between nations in years.
    2013: Scaruffi declares Russian pres. Putin “autocrat”, calls for strengthening NATO.
    2014: Mediterranean Union is formed between existing Maghreb Union, Spain, Portugal, Egypt, Italy, Syria, and Greece in hopes of “strengthening relations”. Scaruffi, an Italian, attends first meeting. Later criticizes Turkish government and calls for Israel and Kurdistan to be allowed to join.
    2014: Gay Marriage Legalized
    2014: New Party nominee Brian Schweitzer calls Democratic nominee Chet Culver a “possible homosexual”
    2015-????: Chet Culver (Democratic)
    2014 def. (with Ronnie Musgrove) Brian Schweitzer (New), Rand Paul (Republican)


    R.I.P. Ron Wyden you would’ve loved the New Party 🥺😞
     
  • Index
    • i’m gonna go to john birch bible college and marry the most protestant woman in human history so i can do abby shapiro type reviews of shostakovich symphonies and black kray mixtapes while getting 3 likes on youtube
     
    gentleman biaggi said:
    2003: Report finds ties between Saudi Royal Family and 1/20 attackers. Although USA never declared war, relations are hurt, and attacks against USA forces increase.
    Click to expand...

    Love how the US attacked all those other countries without data but if it's the Saudi it's fine. Very realistic, of course.

    Walpurgisnacht said:
    Well, on the one hand, assisted suicide is legalised, Arab-American internment is a thing that happened, and the American political system is centrists vs maniacs. On the other hand, the Beatles are being rightfully persecuted. So it's impossible to say whether this TL is good or bad.
    Click to expand...

    Legalizing assisted suicide while solving none of the issues that drive Americans to suicide is likely to be quite the disaster.
     
    gentleman biaggi said:
    yeah i mean… troops in mecca is a bad pr look
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    If you really believe that's the main reason, I have a few bridges to sell you. It probably factors in somewhere in the calculus but I doubt it ranks higher than either the oil or the diplomatic relation the US has with the country.

    If they have to pick between invading Iran or the Saudi, they'll always pick Iran even if it's the Saudi who did the terrorism.
     
    Nyvis said:
    If you really believe that's the main reason, I have a few bridges to sell you. It probably factors in somewhere in the calculus but I doubt it ranks higher than either the oil or the diplomatic relation the US has with the country.
    Click to expand...
    i mean yeah that’s correct obviously americas ties to saudi are based on oil and “strategy” im not an idiot but i mean invading/glassing the holy sites of a population of 2 billion people (something scaruffi supports btw lol) can’t be that appealing even if they weren’t a major ally for oil money
    Nyvis said:
    If they have to pick between invading Iran or the Saudi, they'll always pick Iran even if it's the Saudi who did the terrorism.
    Click to expand...
    ngl it’s pretty funny to say this in a condescending way after i posted a list where exactly this happened
     
    also wait do people think assisted suicide means someone just helps you kill yourself if you have depression or something LMAOOOOOO

    it took forever but we finally got good riffs in this thread. love to see it folks!
     
    gentleman biaggi said:
    also wait do people think assisted suicide means someone just helps you kill yourself if you have depression or something LMAOOOOOO

    it took forever but we finally got good riffs in this thread. love to see it folks!
    Click to expand...
    In 7th grade we had to do presentations on a social issue and one of them was assisted suicide…everyone was talking about Jack Kervorkian and euthanasia but this one girl made hers about the girl from The Girl from Plainville
     
    Oppo said:
    In 7th grade we had to do presentations on a social issue and one of them was assisted suicide…everyone was talking about Jack Kervorkian and euthanasia but this one girl made hers about the girl from The Girl from Plainville
    Click to expand...
    someone at my old HS had to do a presentation on euthanasia but thought it was about youth in asia
     
    gentleman biaggi said:
    i mean yeah that’s correct obviously americas ties to saudi are based on oil and “strategy” im not an idiot but i mean invading/glassing the holy sites of a population of 2 billion people (something scaruffi supports btw lol) can’t be that appealing even if they weren’t a major ally for oil money

    ngl it’s pretty funny to say this in a condescending way after i posted a list where exactly this happened
    Click to expand...

    I do agree it'd be a huge issue if they actually did it, though I'm not convinced the American political system would weight that in before it's too late.

    And yes, I'm aware what I was saying match your list. My initial comment was about that difference in treatment.
     
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