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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins

Yokai Man

Well-known member
MEPs elected for Libertas UK - Alliance for Democracy in 2009
  • East Midlands: Richard Elvin (Libertas)
  • East of England: Robin Page (UK First)
  • London: George Hargreaves (Christian Party)
  • North West England: Steve Radford (Liberal Party)
  • South East England: Steve Uncles (English Democrats)
  • South West England: Sir Ranulph Fiennes (Countryside Party)
  • Yorkshire and the Humber: Peter Davies (English Democrats)
UKIP reached its apogee in the European elections of 2004, with a hard-hitting billboard campaign and a candidate people had actually heard of in Robert Kilroy-Silk. In the months and years after that May, though, things fell apart for UKIP. First Kilroy attracted headlines with his quixotic quest for the UKIP leadership, then new Tory leader David Cameron pledged to take the party out of the Commission majority, and then the BNP started to surge electorally, leaving Knapman's party spinning its wheels on the starting line.

The final death knell for UKIP was the formation of the Alliance for Democracy, an electoral coalition formed by the English Democrats, the Continuity Liberals, Veritas (only after the departure of Kilroy), the Countryside Party, the Christian Party, the Jury Team, the Pensioners' Party and various other Eurosceptic micro-parties. This Alliance boasted two reasonably well-known candidates, in the explorer Ranulph Fiennes and the guy who presented One Man and His Dog, Robin Page, and therefore attracted significant column inches.

Their manifesto was timely: not only did the AfD key into the knee-jerk Euroscepticism inherent in the British (or, in deference to the largest member of the Alliance, English) psyche, they also made an impact with their policies to limit deficit spending, toughen sentences for violent criminals, cut benefits for the undeserving poor, and - most significantly - cut down on politicians' expenses. This anti-politician stance was useful not only in contrasting with the major parties, whose snouts were revealed to be extremely trough-adjacent by the press in a major scandal, but also in calling out the lifestyles of certain UKIP MEPs.

The final member of the AfD arrived in election year itself, as Declan Ganley's ego-trip Europarty, Libertas.eu, persuaded the AfD to accept its UK affiliate as a member in return for a large donation. This assisted the AfD in achieving 9% of the vote and 7 MEPs, although many voters seem to have been put off by the masturbatory nature of the Libertas name on the ballot paper, if the designs drawn on spoilt ballots can be taken as an indication.

These 7 seats brought the AfD slightly ahead of UKIP, on 5, and the BNP on 4. But their failure to wipe out UKIP bred more failure. The Alliance refused to countenance joining the same Euro group as either of their rivals on the Right, largely for ease of differentiation and to avoid allying with any unsavoury characters. But as the Tories refused to let them join their own new group, the AfD were forced to remain Non-Inscrits and subsist on less speaking time than other MEPs - and it was now vital to be able to put eyecatching speeches on the new medium of YouTube in order to remain relevant among the sort of obsessive, Extremely Online loners who A) watch Eurosceptic speeches on YouTube and B) form the core of the party activist class.

Furthermore, the decision to remain Non-Inscrits caused further trouble as Richard Elvin defected from the AfD to join the French Libertas MEP in UKIP's group, upon the orders of Ganley. This was the first of a wave of defections, with Peter Davies becoming an Independent and Hargreaves and Radford taking their parties out of the Alliance before their term was up. When Robin Page challenged Fiennes for the parliamentary leadership in 2013, they were put in a ridiculous situation of having to beg for the casting vote of Steve Uncles, the third remaining MEP. Page lost and defected back to UKIP, which was glad to see him as it was suffering from a similar level of shrinkage itself in its final years.

Needless to say, neither UKIP nor the AfD were returned in the 2014 elections, bringing a fascinating tale to a close - a rare example of micro-parties not only being able to work together for more than six months, but also achieve genuine electoral success by dint of this co-operation.
Well done,sir.
 

Tsar of New Zealand

Seasoned and incurable
Location
Wellington
New Zealand House of Representatives, 7 June 2019

The Government

National: The comparisons to Theresa May are worn out by this stage, but more valid than ever. Hard to tell at this point whether the party is abandoning Bill or he's abandoning the party - he certainly surprised everyone by agreeing the latest suicide stats are a sign of failure when John Campbell hauled him over the coals for it on Seven Sharp the other night, and all three of the pundits in this country who matter are already writing Coleman's obituary. At the same time, the party is nosing under 40 percent in the polls for the first time since (checks notes) the last time Bill was leader, and Judith Collins remains a steadfastly unflushable turd clinging to the side of the proverbial bowl.

New Zealand First: Which joke to make? The line about the Racing Minister's horses turning and eating each other, the 'off the rails' pun after Shane left in a huff when Winston couldn't squeeze enough funding out Joyce to keep the Northland Line open, or a selection from the venerable repository of old man jokes? Well, how about we split the difference and just point to their re-election chances?

The Opposition

Labour: A lot of (Labour-voting) people are claiming Jacinda is pulling a Helen Clark 2.0. These tend to be the same people who told us this time last year that Judith Collins was going to become Jenny Shipley 2.0, so your mileage may vary.
Meanwhile, Phil Twyford keeps moving from strength to strength with his attacks on Amy Adams. Turns out promising 34,000 extra homes in Auckland is only a good idea if Aucklanders can afford them, who knew?

Green: James Shaw made some political hay by going out on Parliament steps to address climate protestors, and joined their calls for a Zero Carbon Bill. Marama Davidson caused a splash by calling Paula Bennett's performance as Climate Minister "bullshit" in front of a class of highschoolers. And Julie-Anne Genter joined a cycling safety protest, to remind us she exists, too.

ACT: It would be an insult to United Future to compare David Seymour to Peter Dunne. Dunne managed to stay in government continuously for 15 years, while ACT couldn't even get back into a government that is the only reason they still exist.

Real New Zealand: Shane Jones has literally bought a literal caboose, and he is literally riding the rails to take his message to the provinces. Someone in KiwiRail is going to get an absolute bollocking from the Government for letting this happen, and they deserve to have been in the Queen's Birthday Honours.

Parties outside Parliament

The Opportunities Party: Gaweth gatecrashed a Labour branch meeting in Wellington recently to take them to task for "handwringing, limp-wristed, insubstantial policies that don't address the real questions facing New Zealand". While he has a point, I can't help but think that somewhere in the multiverse, there's a reality where Gaweth decided to fuck off and leave us in peace. I envy the denizens of that reality.

New Conservative: Have strenuously denied that they're in talks with Alfred Ngaro about an electorate deal. That's probably a good sign that they're in talks with Alfred Ngaro about an electorate deal.

Maori: Their website has been updated (for the first time in ten months) to state their disapproval of the recent Budget which cut funding for Whanau Ora. I am shocked, shocked, to hear of National betraying an old partner as soon as they've tied a knot in them and flung them behind the headboard.
 

Uhura's Mazda

The Hog Hath Lost His Pearl
Published by SLP
Location
Tamaki Makaurau
New Zealand House of Representatives, 7 June 2019

The Government

National: The comparisons to Theresa May are worn out by this stage, but more valid than ever. Hard to tell at this point whether the party is abandoning Bill or he's abandoning the party - he certainly surprised everyone by agreeing the latest suicide stats are a sign of failure when John Campbell hauled him over the coals for it on Seven Sharp the other night, and all three of the pundits in this country who matter are already writing Coleman's obituary. At the same time, the party is nosing under 40 percent in the polls for the first time since (checks notes) the last time Bill was leader, and Judith Collins remains a steadfastly unflushable turd clinging to the side of the proverbial bowl.

New Zealand First: Which joke to make? The line about the Racing Minister's horses turning and eating each other, the 'off the rails' pun after Shane left in a huff when Winston couldn't squeeze enough funding out Joyce to keep the Northland Line open, or a selection from the venerable repository of old man jokes? Well, how about we split the difference and just point to their re-election chances?

The Opposition

Labour: A lot of (Labour-voting) people are claiming Jacinda is pulling a Helen Clark 2.0. These tend to be the same people who told us this time last year that Judith Collins was going to become Jenny Shipley 2.0, so your mileage may vary.
Meanwhile, Phil Twyford keeps moving from strength to strength with his attacks on Amy Adams. Turns out promising 34,000 extra homes in Auckland is only a good idea if Aucklanders can afford them, who knew?

Green: James Shaw made some political hay by going out on Parliament steps to address climate protestors, and joined their calls for a Zero Carbon Bill. Marama Davidson caused a splash by calling Paula Bennett's performance as Climate Minister "bullshit" in front of a class of highschoolers. And Julie-Anne Genter joined a cycling safety protest, to remind us she exists, too.

ACT: It would be an insult to United Future to compare David Seymour to Peter Dunne. Dunne managed to stay in government continuously for 15 years, while ACT couldn't even get back into a government that is the only reason they still exist.

Real New Zealand: Shane Jones has literally bought a literal caboose, and he is literally riding the rails to take his message to the provinces. Someone in KiwiRail is going to get an absolute bollocking from the Government for letting this happen, and they deserve to have been in the Queen's Birthday Honours.

Parties outside Parliament

The Opportunities Party: Gaweth gatecrashed a Labour branch meeting in Wellington recently to take them to task for "handwringing, limp-wristed, insubstantial policies that don't address the real questions facing New Zealand". While he has a point, I can't help but think that somewhere in the multiverse, there's a reality where Gaweth decided to fuck off and leave us in peace. I envy the denizens of that reality.

New Conservative: Have strenuously denied that they're in talks with Alfred Ngaro about an electorate deal. That's probably a good sign that they're in talks with Alfred Ngaro about an electorate deal.

Maori: Their website has been updated (for the first time in ten months) to state their disapproval of the recent Budget which cut funding for Whanau Ora. I am shocked, shocked, to hear of National betraying an old partner as soon as they've tied a knot in them and flung them behind the headboard.
Not enough micro-parties, 2/56
 

Yokai Man

Well-known member
Romania, 8 July 2009

Major Parties

PSD-“Look here ya mook,you better vote fer the Boss if you knowz what’s good fer you and da country.Okay,so maybe he and the boys MAY have stolens some milions of dineros,but everyone does it and besides I gave some of it back to you in forms of bribes and shit,so you is complisit in somes wayz.What do mean,”what about liberal democracy”,are some kind of fucking mason,its your fault for not being more coborative with uz by not voting uz eneff in the 2008 electionz and forcing us to deal with the facking opositions in the makings of a temperery techniratic guverment.Shuts up and vote fer mistah Nastase, who totes brought you into Nato and Europeand saved you from the gayz, again in December or I’ll facking crack your head open with a crowbar ya little shit.And stop asking about this “GlOBal ReCeSsION”,everything iz fine okay SHUT UP”

Alianta D.A-“Look,we know you wish an alternate to PSD and their left wing conservatism,but not all the country is like you,Middle Class Intelectual Who Supports Us.We NEED to reach out to them,we NEED a win.Hey,you hate corruption,right? We’ll deal with that in general and make this country an acceptable place to live in,so could you please ignore the equally shady things we did,the inner divisions and the fact we supported PSD’s “independent”technocratic govermment cuz we were in a deadlock in terms of seats ,we couldn’t manage to make a deal with Voiculescu and UDMR at the moment (oh yeah,ignore that as well) and also no one really wanted to deal with the global crisis thingie?Thanks dude,it’s totally gonna be worth it”

PC-“lol,like I care about your opinion,I just support whoever is in power, latch on a party the Boss made a deal with and get free seats in Parliament out of them”

UDMR-‘’ ugyanaz itt is,my good boy,except I have to deal with that kibaszott Tokes pina stealing voters from me cuz APPARENTLY they ain’t satisfied with the way I do shit.Fucking idiots,I OWN THEM VERJE MEG”

The Rest

PRM-’’IN YOUR FACE,YOU FUCKING IMPERIALIST JUDEO MASONIC FUCKS,WE JUST WON SEATS IN THE E.U PARLIAMENT.SO WHAT IF WE AIN’T IN THE PARLIAMENT ANYMORE (UNFAIRLY BY THE WAY,YOU AND THE CIA TOTALLY RIGGED THE ELECTION) OR THAT BECALI OUTRANK US,WE’RE BA-WHAT DO MEAN WE’RE BEING TICKED OUT OF OUR HEADQUATERS,YOU FUCKING MOSSAD BASTARDS”

PNG-„I AM THE EAGLE,I AM THE LION,I AM THE SALVATION OF THE LAND AND US AND STOENESCU AND THE BOSS ARE GONNA RULE ALL OVER US,YOU PAGAN FUCKS’’

PNTCD-’’please just give us a vote,we’re too desperate to care anymore about dignity.PLEASE’’
 
Last edited:
Political Career of Barron Trump (2006-2067)

2022-2026: Private citizen, Republican
2026-2033: Comic book illustrator, Independent
2033-2035: Blogger, Independent
2035-2045: Queens County District Attorney, Democratic (Blue Dog)
2034: def. Oliver Calhoun (Republican)
2038: def. Ron Gossimer (Republican)
2042: def. Maurice Garcia (Republican)

2045-2053: Mayor of New York, Democratic (Blue Dog)
2044: (with Liberal support) def. John Catsimatidis Jr. (Republican with Conservative support), Lucio Chavez (Socialist)
2048: def. John Catsimatidis Jr. (Republican), Allen Ward (Conservative), Zahir Louis (Socialist)
2052: def. by Abraham Katz (Conservative with Republican support), Malia Fisher (Socialist)

2053-2054: Lobbyist at BarNovIlde Law Firm, Democratic (Blue Dog)
2054-2055: Manager of Skillet Animation,
Democratic (Blue Dog)
2055-2056: Candidate for President of the United States,
Democratic (Blue Dog)
2056 Democratic primaries: def. by Veronica Santos (D-TX), Leo Rosiak (D-WV), Marvin Barnes (D-WI), Akumjeji Hunt (D-GA), Aimee Herseth (D-NE)
2056-2060: Manager of Skillet Animation, Independent (Liberal Conservative)
2060-2061: Private citizen,
Party of Lights (Municipalist Liberal)
2061-2065: Representative from New York's 10th congressional district,
Party of Lights (Municipalist Liberal)
2060: def. Milena Briggs (Social Democratic), Mike Golub (Republican)
2062: def. Morgan Adelman (Democratic), Gordon Alanis (Republican), Zahir Hayes (Social Democratic)

2064: def. by Noah Diaz-Balart (Republican), Emilio Elizabelar (Social Democratic), Morgan Adelman (Democratic)
2065-2067: Political activist, Party of Lights (Municipalist Liberal)
2067: shot (allegedly under orders from Yie Chao)
 

Turquoise Blue

Ambiguously Tibby
Patreon supporter
Location
Kemr, FK
2200

Government Parties
Skysoarer Alliance:
Currently grumbling about how the coalition partners won't let them implement bills that would implement "Dome Rule" in the far-flung Jovian colonies [and colonies is a pretty backwards term, those areas have millions of people!].
Aurora Democrats: Having a leadership election. It's pretty boring, surprisingly.
- Miliza Martin: Apparently the Star and Mail spelt her name Melissa. Who does that those days? Honestly? She blerped out a funny comment on it which gave her a few ticks up in the polls which only lasted a few hours, but it was a good few hours for her.
- Ti Edwards: Ah good old Ti, always making a controversial comment or two. This time it was about the recent Animal Emancipation Act. They think it didn't go far enough, apparently. Tut, and to think we got everyone to agree to that relatively uncontroversial bill.
- Jeremy Li: Li is fighting the good fight over recognising mind-meld relationships as distinct entities rather than one entity. Good to see that he's carrying on the proud Aurora-Liberal tradition of Britain in fighting for individual rights.

House of Trades Government Parties
British Handworkers' League:
Had a convention in which they praised past leaders such as Antonia Lang and Miles Ryder. I think they mentioned Tony Blair once. Now that's a blast from the past. Good to see they're talking more about their old Labour past.
Alliance '79 - The EcoLists: Banging on again about the need to invest more into geoengineering, warning that we could fall back again into global warming. This again? I thought we collectively agreed as a nation that it was over once White Christmases became normal.
Ordinary People's Party: Nik Candle has went on BBC 14 to talk about how we need to put more money into expanding the suborbs. Well yes, Candle, but mention that to the EcoLists, they'll scream and scream about how we're polluting space.

Opposition
Conservative Party:
Well yes, they just rebranded to "Conservative and Momentum Party", but who cares? It's just another of their "merging names", like when they were "Conservative and Democratic Socialist" back in the 2130s. They're still the blooming Tories.
National Poppy League: It's difficult to make fun of them, because they do bring up the valid point that we have lost a lot of people in the Galactic War, and we shouldn't forget them or the veterans who survived. Hope the "Remembrance Bill" gets through Parliament.
Independent Squad: What do they even stand for? "Ensuring that Britain gets an independent voice". What? Can't believe that Lori Robinson went with them. She should have went with the Auroras instead, tbh.
Scottish National Voice: Flora MacNeill is talking of the "glory days" when Scotland was independent. Ah yes, those glory days, when Scottish unemployment went up to 25% and the entire country collapsed once the last of the oil ran out. Those.
Plaid Cymru: Huh, they still exist. And they still are the government of Wales. Apparently when I use Babel to translate from Welsh, they seem to be talking of... "ensuring that the Welsh people continue to recover from the dark days of Thatcher". Who's Thatcher?
Republic: Still pissed off that we voted in a 90% landslide to restore the monarchy back in 2186. Memo to them, the British people like Queen Elizabeth IV and her Princess Consort Skylar, despite Skylar being, well, kind of an AI, but are we really going to be robophobic?
Remain!: Ah yes them. A bunch of saddos who want us to remain as we are and not enter the Global Union. Honestly, the days when nations could just refuse to work together is over, and the referendum will say that. When the Poppies and EcoLists agree, you know it's consensus and only some really weird people on the fringes bemoan this "loss of authority".
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
(I'm very sorry for this: )

1939-40: After the complete failure of appeasement and the loss of Poland, PM Lansbury is deposed in a party coup by Clement Attlee. 1940 sees an election where he calls for rearmament to protect "our Commonwealth" from fascism, Stalinism, and Japanese imperialism, for "English Socialism" to remain and spread. He wins, but Britain is not in a position to do much when Hitler and his allies sack the Soviet Union.

1941-1950: Britain lends crucial food, material, and spy aid to the Soviet Union, keeping it from total collapse - a cold war with the Axis starts. Attlee convinces Roosevelt to help bolster China against Japan as well, which leads to limited involvement in China's war which leads to great naval involvement in the war and the eventual Treaty of Singapore whereupon Japan can withdraw and keep Korea.

Across the Commonwealth, "English Socialism" reforms sweep ahead, pleasing some and pissing off others. President Wallace in America likes the look of this system and begins to replicate it in America. Racial lines in the Commonwealth and US prove to be an issue, as everyone likes the new welfare systems and jobs but doesn't like Those People having it like Good People.

Disaster strikes in '45 when Germany successfully 'tests' its nuclear bombs on the frontline city of Stalingrad. Britain demands Germany stand down immediately or face retaliation - Germany fires three nuclear-armed rockets. Unfortunately for the Nazis, only the one in Colchester successfully goes off. Britain strikes back with a nuclear attack on the Ruhr Valley as well as the Russo-German front. Now begins "the War for Eurasia", which sees the Axis shattered. Attlee and Wallace, close allies, both agree to make sure Stalin doesn't try anything in the war-swept east and central Europe, and its recovering nations - but fail, as "spontaneous" communist uprisings sweep the continent.

With much of Eurasia in crisis, the Commonwealth, US, and several Latin American states (under pressure from Wallace and desire to wrangle political favours) form the Oceania Alliance. The Republic of China, meanwhile, flexes its muscles and starts to talk to its neighbours about an East Asian alliance.

A Liberal-Tory alliance narrowly wins election in 1950 but the vast centralised Ministries are already built in London, peacekeeping troops are already committed to South Africa and Palestine, and people love the health service and pension too much: changing may be difficult. But they can build up their naval power and new fortifications in case of trouble with foreign rivals! Hardliners all around - neo-fascists, 'True Conservatives', Stalin backed communists, unaligned communists, sectarian/racial gangs in the Commonwealth, the EngSoc Party splinter who think Labour isn't going far enough anymore - have been growing for a while but are now seething.

Things could go very wrong.
 

Turquoise Blue

Ambiguously Tibby
Patreon supporter
Location
Kemr, FK
A prequel to "2200".

2057

Government Parties
Conservative Party:
Finally back in government after 20 years. Margot Bradford must be feeling smug, her "Blue Synergy" movement actually worked and catapulted them to a majority despite everyone saying that it won't happen. Now for (she says) genuine One Nation conservatism, if only she could get away from the cheering students to actually govern. She can't tame Temtem for ever.

Opposition Parties
Labour Party:
They have seen better days. Even as some of their old hands grumble that the present Britain is entirely their creation and voters are being ungrateful, their leadership choices are... not ideal.
- Liam Allen: Loud braggart Mayor of the London Metropolitan Zone, he promises to "fight Tory cuts to our NHS". Um. The Tories only just got to power, Allen. While it's good to show opposition, he acts like they've already cut it to the bone.
- Emi Park: The former Chancellor of the Exchequer, she's popular with the middle-class Millennials. But that's hardly what Labour wants, to be the party of the older bourgeois voters, surely? Yes, yes, Margot won the working-class, but Labour doesn't want to talk about that.
- Ed Smith: Still can't believe he actually has that generic a name. Ed Smith. What sort of name is that for the man who oversaw the creation of the European Association and delivered peace to the once-United States? Anyway, apart from that, he's sounding just like Park.
Liberal Alliance: Back to 50 seats! Not quite the sunlit uplands of the 2020s, but certainly a recovery from what came after that. Apparently all those critics were wrong when they declared the Liberals' support of legalising polygamous relationships a "party-killer".
Techist Party: The Techists are annoying. Rights for artifical intelligence? Look, Labour came up with an acceptable compromise of them being "quasi-citizens", and yet the Techists keep insisting for more? Ugh. I would post a rolleyes emoji, but that's banned.
Green Party (Bright): Has spoken out against the other Greens and their twisted politics. Honestly, what sort of Green Party opposes geoengineering and thinks some people are inferior? Surprisingly quite a few of them. Thankfully not the Brights.
Green Party (Deep): Go to their top-secret website which requires a few passwords and you'll enter a dark and nasty world full of paranoia, calls of violence against "polluters" and some calling for "purity of the human race" by wiping out the altered people. Nasty lot.
Scottish National Party: Upbeat on the coming independence referendum. I'll have to admit, it does seem likely that they'll win this. Way too much stuff has gone wrong for Scotland, and I don't blame them for deciding to say "feck it, we'll leave".
Plaid Cymru: Still can't believe they actually finally defeated Welsh Labour. Thought it was impossible.
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
Scottish National Voice: Flora MacNeill is talking of the "glory days" when Scotland was independent. Ah yes, those glory days, when Scottish unemployment went up to 25% and the entire country collapsed once the last of the oil ran out. Those.
Scottish National Party: Upbeat on the coming independence referendum. I'll have to admit, it does seem likely that they'll win this. Way too much stuff has gone wrong for Scotland, and I don't blame them for deciding to say "feck it, we'll leave".
BWahahahhahaa
 

Sideways

Ultimate Lib Dem Fantasy
Published by SLP
On 17 October 2019 parliament passed a motion with a majority of 150 calling for an extension on Article 50. However, almost immediately, Boris Johnson announced that he would not be taking parliament's "recommendation". Mass resignations followed, which were made worse when a disgruntled former cabinet minister leaked the government's full impact assessment of a No Deal Brexit along with Boris Johnson's sarcastic and dismissive notes. By the end of the week, Boris had agreed to an extension on Article 50 and officially asked the EU for an extra week, in which time parliament could either acquiesce to No Deal or create a new deal from scratch.

The insult of this caused a rift in parliament, and many members of the Conservative Party were ready to resign. The only sticking point was Corbyn, hardly any non-Labour MP wanted to send him to the Palace. Labour officially denied that any deal to make anyone else Prime Minister would go through. However, at 11 PM October 30th 2019 a deal was reached. Yvette Cooper was sent to the Palace and an emergency Brexit cabinet was formed based on an idea for an all-female cabinet suggested by Caroline Lucas.

Government
Labour: 154 Conservative: 88 SNP: 35 Liberal Democrat: 16 DUP: 10 The Independents}: 5 Change UK: 5 Plaid Cymru: 4 Independent: 2 Green: 1


Opposition
Conservative (Boris Johnson): 224


Third Party
Labour (Jeremy Corbyn): 93


The Emergency Cabinet
Prime Minister: Yvette Cooper


As Prime Minister Yvette Cooper's first responsibility was to fly to Brussells and negotiate an extra year's extension on Article 50, on condition that she would negotiate a deal without Theresa May's red lines, subject to a confirmatory referendum. Her second priority was to get Boris Johnson out of Downing Street, an extended exercise that went on for three weeks while he tried to negotiate for a new majority.

Chancellor: Justine Greening

Justine Greening's primary goal was to hold the line on spending. The First Women's Emergency Ministry agreed to maintain Boris Johnson's spending levels and tax levels for the most part. To support the left in the new coalition Boris Johnson's new tax cuts for the wealthy were reversed and replaced with an effort to raise the basic rate before income tax up to £20,000, which was achieved by September 2020 and was a major achievement mentioned at the National Government Conference in the Queen Elizabeth Centre London. Her other major task was to increase funding for the NHS, which she managed mostly by making subtle cuts in other areas.

Home Secretary: Kirsty Blackman

Blackman's main task was to end the hostile environment policy and work out suitable compensation, however, by January 2020 it was clear that Britain would be remaining in the EEA and keeping freedom of movement with the EU, this meant that come the referendum Britain would either vote to remain in the EU, or vote to keep freedom of movement. This meant a rapid change to policies on migration and this would be the focus of her ministry.

Foreign Secretary: Jo Swinson

Swinson was the first remainer tasked with negotiating a deal with the EU on Brexit and used this position to push for the softest of Brexits while also argung that remaining in the EU would be even better. She was dismissed by the press, snubbed by Trump, and recieved the full anger of the Brexiteers, who regularly camped outside her house and maintained a permanent vigil outside of her offices; however, she managed to get a brexit deal approved by parliament, and it didn't involve an Irish backstop.

To her surprise, and perhaps to her dismay, it was popular in the country as well. Both Labour and the Conservatives campaigned against the deal (effectively placing them in the Remain camp) and the Nationals campaigned to Remain (effectively meaning they campaigned against their deal) however it won over the country and ended up winning the May referendum 58%-42% despite not having the support of the majority of the country. Jo Swinson nearly resigned when her deal passed, but was persuaded to complete the process rather than contest another election. Britain left the EU on 5 November 2020.

Devolved Affairs and the Constitution: Nicola Sturgeon

Sturgeon was not an MP and her election bought about the constitutional innovation of a representative of the devolved governments serving in cabinet. Her main task, for the first year of her time in office, was to restore the Northern Ireland government, which she did following the May 2020 elections, which saw the election of an Alliance-Sinn Fein-DUP triple government. During this time, she set a timetable and agreement for Scottish Independence, which she would call for if Britain voted to leave the EU. In March 2021, Scotland voted for a second time to remain in the UK and in May the SNP once again won re-election, this time as part of an electoral pact and a coalition with the Scottish Conservative Party, the Liberal Democrats, and elements of Scottish Labour.

Sturgeon spent her remaining time in this government holding a series of discussions on Constitutional Reform which would form the basis for the next government's policies.

Infrastructure: Heidi Allen

Heidi Allen was responsible for the cancellation of HS2 and other cuts to infrastructure projects that won the National government NIMBY support and reduced the need for cuts elsewhere. Following the remain vote, Allen would become strongly associated with the Nature Highway project, which would be funded through a mix of taxation, local government money, and a charitable foundation that would focus on finding ways to use the new green spaces to support tourism, beautify neighbourhoods, engage local businesses and ofn course have some environmental benefits

Defence: Anna Soubry

Soubry had the difficult task of cutting military budgets, while maintaining a nuclear deterrant and getting the new aircraft carrier operational. The army experienced large cuts to military staffing, and a large number of facilities were reduced in size or sold over the course of this parliament.

Education: Liz Saville Roberts

Roberts would be responsible for implementing a version of the Augur Report in Higher Education - fees reduced to between £5000 and £7000 depending on whether the course required expensive equipment (e.g a science), or was seen as particularly worthy of funding (e.g social care). The lack of additional funding would harm the education sector, and it was noted that more women were going into the now cheaper courses than ever before - which Roberts countered through well funded bursaries for women in STEM.

Justice: Sylvia Hermon

While she was more interested in Northern Irish affairs, Sylvia Hermon took to her responsibilities, in the prison system particularly, with a certain flair. Private prisons were phased out and pilots for work based training were expanded, however prison overpopultion would continue to be a problem and would worsen significantly under this government.

Equality and Social Welfare: Emily Thornberry

While many backbenchers for the National Government saw covering pensions, work benefits and health under one department as a weakness, Thornberry hoped to use the position to carry out a root and branch reform of the system from a holistic point of view. She was one of the few ministers to be given the time and budget to reform their services, although a glut of funding for carers and the NHS was countered by very serious restrictions on funding for benefits.

Following the referendum, Thornberry was given a slightly wider remit. For instance she was responsible for creating a new Equal Pay Act and an Equality Act that would set major targets for businesses in areas like the number of female managers and board members. She was also responsible for a motion to expel countries with homophobic laws from the Commonwealth. This didn't pass but anger over the proposal was seen as one of the major reasons why Charles did not replace his mother as Head of the Commonwealth in 2022.

In 2021 Emily Thornberry announced that she would be beginning the process of reviewing the Gender Reform Act, with a consultation expected after the next general election. Her proposals would stop short at self-ID however she would introduce a tiered system of gender recognition, allowing those who had completed all elements of medical transition to have almst all the rights of cisgender people in their gender. She even planned to open the lowest level of recognition to non-binary people and would be open to the idea of allowing some rights for people aged 16-18 on a provisional basis. These proposals angered both trans campaigners, who pointed out that it was substantially behind other countries and sounded overly complex, and the growing anti-trans movement within the developing party apparatus of the Nationals.

Environment and Climate Change: Caroline Lucas

The idea to form the emergency government was Caroline Lucas' but in some ways she suffered most from it. She was unable to bring the Greens in Scotland and Northern Ireland on board, and following the People's Vote even her own party voted to leave the coalition and form a rejoin coalition. However, Caroline Lucas had substantial personal swing in GPEW and managed to keep her party mostly within the National Coalition, although English and Welsh Independent Green Parties were formed that were affiliated mostly with the Scottish Party, and these would pick up increasing support.

By 2022 the Green Party's infrastructure was in ruins, with many of its members defecting to either the EIG, WIG or Labour. Although the National government was mostly popular, her personal defeat in 2022 was dramatic.

Brighton Pavilion 2022
Aisling Murray (Labour): 45.5%
Felix Bungay (Conservative): 23.2%
Caroline Lucas (Green [National Coupon]): 12.8%
Alexandra Phillips (English Independent Greens): 11.2%

Kathleen Stock (Biology Party): 5.2%
Christina Summers (Christian): 2.1%
 

Sideways

Ultimate Lib Dem Fantasy
Published by SLP
Techist Party: The Techists are annoying. Rights for artifical intelligence? Look, Labour came up with an acceptable compromise of them being "quasi-citizens", and yet the Techists keep insisting for more? Ugh. I would post a rolleyes emoji, but that's banned.
I do so enjoy an unreliable narrator