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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins

Youngmarshall

The cull cuckold in Sunderland toon
#22
10th October 2018: Party Run-Down:

Radicals: Hannan's recent speech has nicely cleared up the government's position on Thein Sein. They think he's evil, they think his regime is illegitimate and brutal and they condemn in the strongest possible terms the recent massacres in the Bengal. And, check notes, they're going to continue selling him weapons, training his armies and bombing his enemies. Remember when the media attack line was that the Radicals were inflexible ideologues who didn't understand realpolitik?

Liberals: I saw Caroline Flint on telly the other day, it was bizarre. I remember when she won the 2010 election and it meant the Liberals had won 22 out of the last 27 elections. What an unbelievable fact I thought. And it only gets more unbelievable with every thing Boris Johnson does as leader of the opposition.

Scottish Prohibitionist Party: Sturgeon has said the SPP will only be willing to take their seats in Parliament again if there's bills on either extending prohibition south of the border or full independence for Scotland up for vote. I look forward to everyone entirely ignoring this when it comes to fevered predictions at the next election.

Irish Clans: Des Hanafin is still dead. Nothing to do with anything, I'm just taking my joy where I can these days.

Western Alliance: I feel somewhat sorry for Claire Wright, for years all WA leaders had to do was make some noises about maybe for once not voting with the Liberals and wait for the pork money to flow and then suddenly Kendalcare happens, or rather doesn't, the government falls and people start looking really closely at all that money spent in the scilly isles.

Radical Progressive Traditional United Loyalists: Gove's latest speech mentioned the 'whore of rome' thirty four times. I don't think they've really got over us having a two term Catholic Prime Minister.

Highland League: One of their local councillors has resigned after being found guilty of running an illegal whiskey mill. You have to admire their commitment to being exactly who everybody thinks they are, really.

New Levellers: The Boston Globe just did a puff piece about Tomlinson and how he's the future of Old English politics. Bless.

New Whigs: The Chronicle has endorced Zac Goldsmith for London Mayor and called him the 'true voice of british radicalism'. If I didn't know better I'd almost think Osborne still hasn't forgiven Rees-Mogg for 2015.

Anti-Sweating League: Agreed their mainfesto at their conference. They want a minimum wage, a 40 hour week and a reform of all sporting competitions in order to bring back entertainment to the sport. It's as if they didn't watch Sunderland's amazing performance in their recent 0-0 with Glossop. We had almost 2 shots.

United Bermuda Party: They're currently polling second in the rotten borough they were given to house the Bermudan government in exile. To the New Levellers.
 

Avalanches

FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD
Location
Tampa, FL
#23
This is an update to an old Rundown list I had on the Other Site, the key difference being that it's b e t t e r than the other one. So, I present to you:

2018PUNK
Major Parties
Democratic:
Given the... unexpected announcement that President Sanders will not be running for reelection given his advanced age and his desire to go home and die retire, there's been a flood of candidates all trying to get their own bit of press after that, and the other big piece of news this week.
- Andrew Gillum: It used to be back in the good old days of 2000 that if the incumbent Vice President ran for the nomination, nobody else would. However, given that Gillum is a secret Russian plant who's going to murder us all in our sleep or that he's a secret Angolan communist who's going to start the Race War™ (all ignoring the fact that he was a pretty corrupt Mayor back in Tallahassee), that obviously couldn't stand.​
- Kirsten Gillibrand: Trying to put the tough loss of 2020 behind her, Gillibrand has thrown her hat into the ring in. She's basically running on the same things she did in 2020 except she's trying to sound even more like a lefty to keep up with the times. I patiently await her full-on transformation into a Hoxhaist by 2028.
- Bill Maher: God has truly forsaken us. Finally fulfilling your weedy roommates wish for someone just like him to run for President, Maher has jumped into the race. Every Democrat I know has been clamoring for a sixty-something asshole who hates le SJW's, so really this is Maher's race to lose.
- Richard Ojeda: Meet Richard Ojeda, the charming, union-advocating West Virginian who's going to help the Democrats take back Appalachia! *five seconds later* We regret to inform you that Ojeda is racist.
- Cory Booker: 2017 called - they want their up-and-coming Presidential hopeful back.
- Chelsea Clinton: Her bold agenda of "everybody hates me and I hate myself" is sure to take the Primaries by storm.
- Joe Kennedy III: Literally all this guy has done for the past few years is take flattering glamor shots with activists in Boston and say "aw, shucks" on national TV. I will love it when Kennedy wins and we're all forced to watch Leave it to Beaver re-runs at 5 o'clock sharp every night.
- Julián Castro: After his embarrassing run in 2020, Castro is back to embarrass himself some more! I hope you all are ready for a campaign stop where he recites the entire story of his memoir and also auditions for a San Antonio production of The Iceman Cometh.
- Zak Ringelstein: This guy's a real psycho - DSA-type who ran against Angus King in 2018, lost in one of the biggest margins in Maine history (at least for the Democrats, anyway), who also had a short-lived country music career. Now he's running for President on a platform of "killing everybody who's ever owned more than $15,000 at once." I can tell it will connect with the voters.
- Tom Steyer: Totally not angry that he got less than 5% of the vote, in 2020, totally. Must be tough to run a tech-savvy campaign when your campaign website is still running on GeoCities.​

Republican: Now, here comes the real interesting part...
- Donald Trump: Just when you thought he was gone, he's back, better than ever! First interview after the big campaign announcement was from a hospital bed with various tubes running up his nose, and he was largely focused on insulting Joe Scarborough and NBC. Ahhh, this takes me back to the good ol' days!​
- Kelli Ward: Was furious that Hogan called her a "radical Republican," and then proceeded to rant about "brownskinned Hispanics" coming into the border by the thousands. Congratulations Larry, I don't know how you did it, but you gave her juuust enough rope to hang herself with.​
- Larry Hogan: Has begun hinting that he might run third if he doesn't get the nomination, which if his results in Iowa tell us anything, the GOP won't be losing sleep over it.​
- Ted Cruz: Went from being the odds-on favorite to back of the pack in twelve hours. The life of Ted Cruz would be Shakespearean in its tragedy if it wasn't so damn funny.​
- Nick Freitas: Nothing to see here, just building up enough support to get the nod in 2028 (and get re-elected this year).​
- Tom Cotton: The once-future of the Republican Party got less than 3,000 votes in the Caucus, which is... not surprising, really? When your biggest competition is a write-in campaign from a former President, there ain't much you can do.​
- Mike Flynn: I had no idea that you could run for President from jail, and it turns out you can't, this is just some guy who's also named Michael Flynn who's running because somebody might still remember who Michael Flynn is. Funny, I guess?
- Michelle Steele: Withdrew the day before the Caucus to save herself the embarrassment of doing worse than Tom Cotton.​

Minor Parties
Libertarian:
Despite the fact that the Republican Primaries are looking like a slow-motion car crash, the Libertarians are still as irrelevant as ever, and I doubt if they'll ever be able to recover after that disaster four years ago.
- Vince Vaughn: A bit late to the whole "celebrity politician" party, but as the only candidate who has name recognition and isn't an already-ran, Vaughn probably has this thing in the bag.​
- Adam Kokesh: As his track-record with the Libertarian Party is largely "destroying the party after their most successful campaign ever and inadvertently causing the death of Bill Weld No Seriously," I wouldn't count on him getting the nomination again.​
- Ed Lopez: The former National Vice-Chairman of the Republican Liberty Caucus, which according to my research, is just as meaningless as it sounds.​
- Marc Allen Feldman: His personal website redirects you to a Cleveland Injury Lawyer, which really tells you all you need to know.​

Green: Surprisingly, not a clown-car primary like last time! Sucks that Gillibrand is to the left of them now, they could've stood a chance at breaking 1% of the vote this election.
- Jennifer V. Kurland: I literally have no idea who this is and anything about her asides from the fact that she insists that the middle initial is included, but she seems like a nice enough lady.​
- Kent Mesplay: A perennial candidate, so we don't have to worry about any last-minute convention coups this time around.​

Democratic Socialists of America: They're probably going to endorse the main ticket again, but since everybody's freaking out Trump becoming the next Grover Cleveland (which considering their personal relationships isn't that far of a stretch) or that Bill fucking Maher is going to become the Democratic nominee, I feel obligated to include them here. Not obligated enough to actually write any candidates, but enough that I pretend that they aren't basically the cool version of the Blue Dog Caucus.

Other parties:
Common Sense:
Their first National Convention just started, and instead of providing an articulate vision and platform for America... they're talking about David Brooks' cheating on his wife?
Traditional Worker's Party: Great news for the party - they've broadened their base from just Neo-Nazis and jerkoffs who like to re-enact the Unite the Right rally, they've got Ammon Bundy as their nominee this cycle! Now we can finally watch a presidential candidate murder someone on Facebook Live.
2020 Vision: I don't have a clue on what Evan McMullin is running on this election, but he has a really nice "friendly politician" voice, so he's got my vote! Still need to update that name though.
Constitution Party: Don Blankenship is surprisingly alive, and hasn't gone senile yet; as of right now he's trying to keep the Tea Party alive by screaming at a room of about six senior citizens who still believe Obama's President, which is a nice way to spend your last few years on Earth when you're a piece of shit I guess
#LetFreedomRing: Austin Peterson is still really bitter that he's banned from the Libertarian Party, and is now basically using his dumb new party as a soapbox to talk about why poor people don't deserve to live.
American Delta Party: Still pretending that people know or care about Rocky de la Fuente, moving on.
Watters' World: A vanity vehicle for a Senate run two years ago is apparently still kicking, and is nominating... Joe the Plumber? Does anybody but me even remember that guy?
NewGreenDeal: I'm told that Sean McElwee will be speaking at the inaugural conference of NewGreenDeal, a motley crew of DSA members who forgot to pay their dues and veterans of the 2008 Mike Gravel campaign - more importantly I'm surprised that Sean McElwee is still around.
Continuity Reform Party: Now that's what left of the original party infrastructure has been absorbed by the ADP, the five people who were against this decided that they could run their own political party, with blackjack, and hookers! I will not be surprised if they disband by the time this post goes up, they're that irrelevant.
 
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#24
06/2018

Statewide Parties

Farmer–Labor: Seemingly still hale and healthy at 84, Oberstar has loudly declared his intention to run for a seventh term as Governor, reneging on previous agreements with the Caucus to retire and brushing aside petty concerns like 'mental competency' and 'the interest of the party'. With the Mesabi set and the base behind him, removing Big Jim won't be a picnic, but the knives are out and it's too late for take-backs.
Republicans: Speaking of unimpeachable tyrants, Michele Bachmann is facing her first serious challenge for control of the party in years, this time from a former protégé rather than some Cabin Country hack. Young, handsome, and aggressively Lutheran, in any other party in any other era Doug Wardlow might have made something of himself. As it is, he never stood a chance.

Local Parties (Minneapolis & St. Paul)

Democrats: The 'Trial of the Century' is set to begin any day now, with former St. Paul mayor Bert Coleman and four other members of the Rivers Confluence Democratic Booster Club under indictment for, among other charges, perjury, obstruction of justice, misconduct in office, mail fraud, bribery, and criminal facilitation of attempted murder in the first degree. Naturally, a fund has been started by an avowedly nonpartisan committee to pay for their defense.
Non-Partisan League: As his Democratic colleagues on the City Council fall on their swords one after another, Cam Gordon finds himself in a novel position. So far, he's stuck to safe territory, with his latest press release calling for direct election of the police commissioner and making the city a safer place for cyclists and ignoring any talk regarding the future of the NPL.
Socialist Workers: With the Democrats imploding and Gordon failing to fill the void, the Party of Dobbs is salivating over the prospect of electing one of their own in either city. Falling in line behind Comrade Jentzen, it might not be such a long-shot this time.
Abdi Warsame Team: Fuck you.
 
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Ares96

Another Council Tenancy
Published by SLP
#25
Farmer–Labor: Seemingly still hale and healthy at 84, Oberstar has loudly declared his intention to run for a seventh term as Governor, reneging on previous agreements with the Caucus to retire and brushing aside petty concerns like 'mental competency' and 'the interest of the party'. With the Mesabi set and the base behind him, removing Big Jim won't be a picnic, but the knives are out and it's too late for take-backs.
 

Mumby

'I love the pun he will go far'
Published by SLP
#26
The State of the Parties as January 1913 (based upon The Iron Heel by Jack London)

Republicans - The rise of the Left put a fright up the middle classes, and with the failure of Hearst's attempt to build a mass movement out of paper, many have abandoned what remains of the Democrats and have plumped for the Grand Old Party, which is increasingly in the pocket of the trusts. Nevertheless, they have lost a lot of seats in Congress and have lost control of traditional heartlands, their victory in the presidential election last year was only due to the division of the opposition.

Socialists - They called 1912 a 'landslide' though of course its nothing of the sort. What it has done turned the closed door of Congress into one that ajar, and that has really put a spook into the old parties. Their revolutionary rhetoric has led to a certain hardening of attitudes.

Grangers - With the Republicans cleaving to the emergent Oligarchy and the Democrats collapsing back to the traditional norms of white supremacy, the ideals of Western Agrarian Populism and Progressivism have found voice in a party all their own and have gained power in much of the West. They cautiously align with the Socialists though both groups fail to see eye to eye at the moment.

Democrats - For a single moment it appeared that the Democrats would absorb the movements of Progress, and Heart's militias of yellow journalism were the foot soldiers in that fight. However, a savage fight at their convention revealed the weakness of that paper tiger and the Grange Movement prevented his from making any headway. The Democrats were forced back to the Solid South and there they have remained, the party of Cross, Capitalism and Klan.
 

George Kearton

Well-known member
Published by SLP
#27
The Newest State

Democratic: So fucking corrupt. I can't believe Theresa May is running for her fifth term as Governor and will win in a landslide. At least she has gone from very conservative to being vaguely liberal, which has helped, I guess. Still awful. At least she has a good left-wing running-mate

Republican: Wait, so you're telling me they rejected Caroline Jones the vaguely moderate person in favour of... wait, who? "Count Dankula"? Who is even h- oh. The guy who taught his dog to give the Hitler salute. He's the Republican candidate? Yeah, May's gonna win even more than normal

Green: Increasingly the alternative to the Democrats, there is no way that they can screw up their chance to eclipse fucking "Count Dankula". Oh. Their candidate killed a man? My fucking God. There's no way Jon Bartley can recover from that. Oh, and they now hate trans people too? Wait what

Libertarian: Daniel Hannan is their candidate yet again. They'll win one percent this time around if lucky. Who gives a fuck about the Libertarians?

Independence: Oh yeah, those guys. They want Britain to be independent or something. I wonder who is their no- oh. It's the weirdo up in Scotland who ran several independent campaigns on "Scottish freedom". And he's now accused of sexual assault. Wow, everyone apart from May is just shit
Does this take place before or after the Scandinavian-led invasion which freed Great Britain from the Corbinista junta?
 

Sideways

Ultimate Lib Dem Fantasy
Published by SLP
#28
Donald Trump: Just when you thought he was gone, he's back, better than ever! First interview after the big campaign announcement was from a hospital bed with various tubes running up his nose, and he was largely focused on insulting Joe Scarborough and NBC. Ahhh, this takes me back to the good ol' days!
Incredibly believable
 

d32123

Well-known member
Location
Seattle
#29
The Parties in the Kingdom of Hawai'i, October 2018


'Āina i ka Pono (Land of Righteousness) Coalition

Hawai'i Labour Party: The oldest and largest party in the Kingdom, the HLP overthrew white minority rule in the 1950s. It subsequently became the fiefdom of Honolulu Benevolent Association boss Raymond Chin, a fierce anti-communist and Hawaii nationalist strongman. Inspired by the success of Japanese zaibatsu, Chin established Hawai'i's very own conglomerate, Kukui, which monopolized the archipelago's manufacturing, real estate, and tourism sectors. The failure of Kukui was a major reason for the 1997 Hibiscus Revolution, the effects of which are still felt today. Since the passing of Raymond Chin, the party is now under the leadership of his daughter, Betty Chin, who has served three non-consecutive terms as Prime Minister throughout Hawai'i's tumultuous first democratic party system. HLP remains the favored party of the Kingdom's Chinese-Hawaiian population as well as its older subjects.

Christian Democratic Party of Hawai'i: After Raymond Chin's successful war on the Kanaka Church, several foreign churches attempted to woo the Chief's good grace. The Watchtower Society was the most successful, becoming established as the de facto state church, despite the Chins themselves never converting. Although Jehovah's Witnesses do not participate in secular politics, the Christian Democrats act as a front group for the Society. They have remained among the HLP's closest and most consistent allies over the past two decades. Their current leader is Francis Wong, longtime Cultural Minister under the Chin regime.


Koki'o ke'oke'o (Hibiscus) Coalition

New Progressive Party of Hawai'i: For decades the Progressives acted as the unofficial, extraparliamentary liberal opposition to the HLP. They were most popular among Indo-Hawaiians and Sino-Hawaiians disaffected with the Chin family's rule. Closely involved in the Hibiscus Revolution, the Progressives quickly dissolved into bickering and factionalism once they took power. The main faction, which split off to form the New Progressive Party, is primarily Indo-Hawaiian and neoliberal in outlook. Their current leader is Cynthia Reddy, an American-trained economist and social media enthusiast.

Sons of Kamehameha: This native Hawiian nationalist party has its origins as a far-right paramilitary terrorist organization responsible for many bombings and other attacks throughout the 1960s. They emerged from the post-Kanaka chaos within the native Hawaiian community as the most organized and disciplined representative of those middle class natives who refused to acclimate themselves to the new regime. Today they have emerged as an electoral party, trading berets for suits and ties. They are led by Ben Kanahele, a former inmate of Tantalus Prison who bears a distinct scar on his forehead from one of his more noteworthy escape attempts.

Democratic Liberal Party of Hawai'i: The Dem Libs are the party of those whites who never reconciled themselves to the end of minority rule. Today they are the party of the white working and middle classes, advocating for lower taxes and an end to affirmative action. While initially shunned by the Hibiscus parties, the Dem Libs have mainstreamed under half-Chinese leader Ned Thomas. Nevertheless, a “bayonet” faction remains within the party, eager for a more aggressively pro-white politics.

Green Party of Hawai'i: The Greens were one of many splits from the Progressive Party following the Hibiscus Revolution. It is composed primarily of white liberals and other environmentalists. Over the years, the Greens have come to focus less on green issues and more on fiscal prudence. Last year, they finally dropped their plank calling for a reduction in American troops on the islands, bringing them fully into the mainstream of the Hibiscus Coalition.


Non-Coalition Parties in the House of Representatives

Progressive Party of Hawai'i: The remnant faction of the old Progressive Party. They are primarily Chinese-Hawaiian and are to the left of the New Progressives. But primarily their difference is factional. The official end of any sort of friendship between the two progressive parties occurred when the Progressive Party backed the HLP over the New Progressives for the premiership in 2006. Since then, relations have only gotten worse. They are currently led by former rugby star Tony Lee.

New Left Alliance: This is a broad coalition of small leftist parties, and a successor to the old Left Alliance of the early Hibiscus period. The banning and persecution of the Communists following the rise of the Chins drove the Hawaiian left entirely underground. Their re-emergence during the Hibiscus period has been lackluster at best and they have been frozen out of government. Politically, they focus almost entirely on opposition to austerity and campaigning against the presence of American troops on Hawaiian soil. They are led by long time trade union activist Bella Chow.

Tim Ching's Maui First Party: An ex-HLP dissident, Tim Ching has established his own small machine on the island of Maui. He generally supports whichever coalition offers him the most pork. Attempts to unseat him have been thus far unsuccessful.


Significant Non-Parliamentary Parties

Social Credit Party of Hawai'i: An old opposition party from the white rule era, the Socreds survived for decades thanks to the vast wealth endowed upon them by the estates of former plantation owners and their decision to invest the funds in a series of hotels. The Douglas Hotel was, for a time, the only independent hotel in the Kingdom that was not owned by the Kukui Corporation. It has seen better days, but it continues to provide revenue for the Social Credit Party. They lost their last seat in the House of Representatives in 2012 and have essentially become a single issue anti-same sex marriage party.

Guomindang of Hawai'i: While the rise of the Chins essentially ended all Chinese nationalist activity in Hawai'i, a faction of hardcore KMT cadre remains in the Honolulu area. The average age of membership is 85 and they are mostly known for holding demonstrations against the current Chinese government.

Socialist Workers Party of Hawai'i: The SWP were expelled from the HLP for attempted entryism in the early 2000s. Today, Hawai'i's largest trot party are mostly known for their repeated failed campaigns to gets seats on Honolulu City Council as well as iconic newspaper, Workers Voice.

Pirate Party of Hawai'i: The Pirates had their time in the sun a few years back, managing to even win a couple seats on Honolulu City Council. Since then, they have collapsed into infighting, declaring bankruptcy following an unsuccessful attempt to transition their entire finances to cryptocurrency.
 

d32123

Well-known member
Location
Seattle
#31
This is absolutely fantastic.

Just how colonial is the relationship between Hawai'i and America here, and how did the Americans react to the overthrow of white rule?
America basically doesn't care about Hawaiian politics as long as they remain pro-American and allow the military to continue basing itself out of Pearl Harbour. Back in the day, Hawai'i was even allowed to nationalize key industries and engage in currency manipulation to develop its economy. Overall the Americans felt that the end of white minority rule was an inevitability and were pretty relieved that the Chins weren't communists. They actively supported the regime until it was no longer convenient to.
 

Alex Richards

Tends to eat truffles once found
Patreon supporter
Published by SLP
Location
Derbyshire
#32
Further Progress: More Endeavour.

Long Eaton Progressive Coupon: Have won their first majority in 12 years in the Urban District, just in time to have to try and deal with the upgrades to the Midland Main Line. They want the Erewash Valley line to be electrified at the same time to get things over with.

Wilne RDC Social and Liberal Democrats: Significant disputes have arisen with the Long Eaton branch over whether to build houses on the old Westlands School site or a replacement institution. The risk of a split would be high if it wasn't for the fact that they're already entirely separate branches.

Wilne and Long Eaton Conservative Association: Cemented their dominance in Wilne with their by-election gain in Sandiacre South. Long Eaton members are beginning to grumble about the forced organisation on Combined Authority areas, particularly given the recent decision to commission a new Mayoral Chain for the Wilne RDC council leader. And a coat of arms to put on it. Think electrifying the Midland Main Line is a great idea (naturally considering who's manifesto it appeared in) and that it would have occurred years ago if British Rail had been forced to sell off the track as well as the trains.

Long Eaton UDC Labour Party: Deciding to close People's Hall to public bookings for most of the year was never going to go down well. Secret filming revealing it was being used for Labour Council Group meetings and functions instead was just the icing on the cake. Think the electrification of the Midland Lain Line should be delayed until a better design of level crossing can be implemented on Station Road.

Wilne RDC Labour Party: Two-thirds of the members now live in Sandiacre and they're considering a merger with the Long Eaton branch. That'll go down well in Draycott.

Ecology Party of Long Eaton: Want the Midland Main Line to be dropped 5m into the ground so as to replace all the level crossings with bridges.

Ecology Party of Wilne RDC: Apparently Hopwell Parish Council staving off complete bankruptcy for another decade by selling part of the Hall estate for development is the most important issue of our times.

National Front (South East Derbyshire Branch): 'We send £2 million a week to the EC. Lets spend it on the Midland Main Line instead.' And then use it to send the Afro-Caribbean community to the airport.

South East Derbyshire Rural District Council Community Group: Have apparently not gotten the message that the Rural District isn't coming back. You'd have thought the final decision on giving Morlestone RDC all of SEDRDC's silver plate would have given them a hint. Have decided that the electrification of the Midland Main Line means London is now the Octopus du jour.
 

Skaven

Yes I'm a Blairite, I'm also a anarcho-syndicalist
#33
- Zak Ringelstein: This guy's a real psycho - DSA-type who ran against Angus King in 2018, lost in one of the biggest margins in Maine history (at least for the Democrats, anyway), who also had a short-lived country music career. Now he's running for President on a platform of "killing everybody who's ever owned more than $15,000 at once." I can tell it will connect with the voters.
Where do I sign up to doorknock?
 

lerk

Well-known member
#35
Forty Fifth Russian Politics Thread

Major Parties

Unionist - Suspended their campaign after the Petrograd attack. Not like they were doing much prior to this anyways. Alright, show of hands, who here thinks that the Unionists won't win in December?

Socialist - Boldyrev has come out in support of legalizing same-sex marriage, which really is just him trying to win back the Independent Socialists, but what he's actually doing is ensuring that the Unionists will win that long sought after 400 seat landslide.

Independent Socialist - Is calling for a peace treaty with the Israeli People's Republic, which is not a particularly good move after the Petrograd attack, but let's be honest it won't offend their core voters. Any Socialists hoping for a collapse of this party shouldn't hold their breath.

National Democratic - Gaidukevich has called for an "Alliance between the Cross and the Crescent" against Jews. The pro-Islam stance of the NatDems might come as a surprise to those murdered Uyghur immigrants during the illegal immigration scare in the 1980s.

Christian Party - Their members went on a friendship visit with a similar party in Ethiopia, and I hope they stay there.

Not major but not minor either Parties

Russian Muslim Congress - They finally selected a leader, just one month after campaigning began. Will the secular and anti-Semitic factions reconcile because of this unusual situation? They probably won't.

Russian Jewish League - Is hosting a blood drive for Russian soldiers in Palestine following the Petrograd attack, which is OK I guess, I don't have anything funny to say here.

Turkic Interests - They've actually been doing better since they rejected separatism, which is pretty surprising actually.

Rally for Russia - A new vehicle for centrist millionaires. Their new campaign song is full of :sneaky:.

Minor Parties

Orthodox, Autocracy, Nationality - Their platform consists of random diatribes against Islam and Judaism, declaring the UASR a terrorist state, wanting to bring back eugenics, bringing back the Czar and subsequently abolishing the Duma. They seem nice.

Social Labour - When you go on their website you see a picture of party members raising their fist and, I shit you not, in the back there are two people in Sledkom uniforms.

Turkic Unity - Haven't gotten over the rejection of separatism in favour of autonomy. Recently they've announced that their leader has converted to Turkic paganism and has urged everyone else to do the same.

New Social Democratic - They've issued a statement about the Palestine War, which say- [SLEDKOM AGENTS BURST THROUGH MY DOOR]
 

Mumby

'I love the pun he will go far'
Published by SLP
#36
The State of the Parties in the US Commonwealth of African America, as of 1st June 1990

Farmer-Labor-Sharecropper - So it came out that Wilson's 'Alternative Energy Plan' is going massively over budget and uh, lots of people are making money off it. Will the FLSP lose the election next month? What do you think?

Ethiopian Action - So Wilson's plan of screaming BLACK DRAGON SOCIETY constantly isn't exactly going to plan is it? And somehow all the stuff about Ellison personally is barely putting a chink in their numbers. Who cares if he attended General Yakob's funeral in Addis Ababa, so what about New Race Theorists that hang around on the fringes...

Democratic-Republican - Ah yes, the Middle Class White People's Party, currently wishing to die upon the hill of [checks notes] abolishing the extra-commonwealth congressional districts. Purely to save on administrative waste, not because it would increase their own representation and power no sirree. At least they've stopped complaining about statues.

49er Movement - Getting increasingly pissed off that they are now behind the Dem-Reps, and that everyone is forgetting that 49er stands for the 49th state of the Union. Currently talking about abolishing all sorts of requirements for membership and leadership which isn't going to make them a target for entryism at all.
 

Mumby

'I love the pun he will go far'
Published by SLP
#37
Electoral History of Smedley Butler in Enemy Within up to the point in the story so far

1932: Candidate in Republican primary for Senator for Pennsylvania
1932 defeated by James J. Davis
1935-19XX: Secretary for General Affairs, Nonpartisan
 

lerk

Well-known member
#38
Forty Fifth Russian Politics Thread
Forty Sixth Russian Politics Thread

October 26th, 2018

Major Parties

Unionist - Campaign has resumed, and Travkin has marked the resumption of activities by making a joke about Siberians, which didn't go well, to put it nicely.

Independent Socialist - Mitvol was once a member of the Social Labour Party in his youth, thus if he wins he would become the first Sledkom agent to become Prime Minister.

Socialist - Boldyrev, clearly trying to look tough, has said he would use nukes against the UASR if, in his words "things get really bad". This is why I didn't put them in the second position, because they don't deserve it now.

National Democratic - Is continuing their hilarious attempt at winning the Muslim vote by saying that... Shias are Jew agents? Guess they didn't want to become too diverse.

Christian Party - Trying really, really hard to get the anti-war members not to split off.

Not major but not minor either Parties

Russian Muslim Congress - A Tajik MD was sheltering an extremist cleric who fled from India, and who had eight murder cases registered against him. And people wonder why the UASR and India reconciled...

Russian Jewish League - One MD has suggested making Beitar militias to defend against anti-Semitic attacks, which I guess would work.

Turkic Interests - Those disgruntled separatists are coming back, making them having a better standing in the polls.

Rally for Russia - Is focusing mostly on internet advertising. Totally unrelated news, I've now heard that more people are downloading adblockers.

Minor Parties

Orthodox, Autocracy, Nationality - Their leader turned out to be a pedophile.
Orthodoxy, Autocracy, Nationality - The supposed successor to the old one, but they are still using the old platform and the only thing differentiating them from the old one is just putting a "y" at the end of Orthodox. (OOC: Some weird bug is making the color come out like that. I will try and fix it later).

Social Labour - Clumsily tried to erase those two Sledkom agents off of that picture on their website, but accidentally ended up accentuating their uniforms while getting rid of their heads.

Turkic Union - Seeing that much of their would be voters are sucking it up and voting for the Turkic Interests party they are now in negotiations with the TI for a merger, which I suppose is a reasonable option?

New Social Democratic - Continuing to deify everyone who is against Russia, must be a Friday.

Turkic Unity - Turns out trying to revive a nearly dead belief system isn't the best thing to do when you are running a campaign. Now that 80% of the party has left, they have begun to lean to a more anti-Muslim bent, securing them the internet edgelord vote.
 

Alex Richards

Tends to eat truffles once found
Patreon supporter
Published by SLP
Location
Derbyshire
#39
Further Progress: More Endeavour.

Long Eaton Progressive Coupon: Have won their first majority in 12 years in the Urban District, just in time to have to try and deal with the upgrades to the Midland Main Line. They want the Erewash Valley line to be electrified at the same time to get things over with.

Wilne RDC Social and Liberal Democrats: Significant disputes have arisen with the Long Eaton branch over whether to build houses on the old Westlands School site or a replacement institution. The risk of a split would be high if it wasn't for the fact that they're already entirely separate branches.

Wilne and Long Eaton Conservative Association: Cemented their dominance in Wilne with their by-election gain in Sandiacre South. Long Eaton members are beginning to grumble about the forced organisation on Combined Authority areas, particularly given the recent decision to commission a new Mayoral Chain for the Wilne RDC council leader. And a coat of arms to put on it. Think electrifying the Midland Main Line is a great idea (naturally considering who's manifesto it appeared in) and that it would have occurred years ago if British Rail had been forced to sell off the track as well as the trains.

Long Eaton UDC Labour Party: Deciding to close People's Hall to public bookings for most of the year was never going to go down well. Secret filming revealing it was being used for Labour Council Group meetings and functions instead was just the icing on the cake. Think the electrification of the Midland Lain Line should be delayed until a better design of level crossing can be implemented on Station Road.

Wilne RDC Labour Party: Two-thirds of the members now live in Sandiacre and they're considering a merger with the Long Eaton branch. That'll go down well in Draycott.

Ecology Party of Long Eaton: Want the Midland Main Line to be dropped 5m into the ground so as to replace all the level crossings with bridges.

Ecology Party of Wilne RDC: Apparently Hopwell Parish Council staving off complete bankruptcy for another decade by selling part of the Hall estate for development is the most important issue of our times.

National Front (South East Derbyshire Branch): 'We send £2 million a week to the EC. Lets spend it on the Midland Main Line instead.' And then use it to send the Afro-Caribbean community to the airport.

South East Derbyshire Rural District Council Community Group: Have apparently not gotten the message that the Rural District isn't coming back. You'd have thought the final decision on giving Morlestone RDC all of SEDRDC's silver plate would have given them a hint. Have decided that the electrification of the Midland Main Line means London is now the Octopus du jour.
Progressing Further

Long Eaton Progressive Coupon: Electrification of the Midland Main Line is taking three times as long as planned for the Long Eaton section. The Progressives are up in arms about it, but still bearing far more of the public ire than they deserve. At least it's distracting from the vehicular charging points disaster.

Wilne RDC Social and Liberal Democrats: Making much hay about the fact that the Conservatives and Long Eaton Progressives have put half the rural charging points in completely impractical locations for most people. This is not improving relations with the rest of the region considering they were meant to have produced a review of the proposed Wilne RDC setup last year for internal party circulation and just sort of never got round to it.

Wilne and Long Eaton Conservative Association: Calls are growing for the resignation of the Environment and Planning Officer to step down over his mishandling of the charging points. Of course he's also the Leader of the Council so like that's going to happen. Sadly the Long Eaton membership is too distracted trying to defend the MML electrification while not looking like complete shills to the national party to pay too much attention.

Long Eaton and Wilne Combined Authority Labour Party: Doing rather well out of all of this. Would be doing better if the leadership hadn't managed to piss off enough people to cause a party splinter.

Long Eaton and Area Independent Socialist Group: Three Parish Councillors, a UDC Councillor convinced the Labour Chair had been trying to get them ousted for criticising him (Spoiler: He had but it wasn't working) and jumping first. Trying to pull a Bill Camm, but have no real policies and won't succeed.

Ecology Party of Long Eaton: Are picking up a lot of Conservative voters annoyed at the Party stance on the MML. Will probably lose them again if Kelly Thompson gets on the local news again with her 'ban meat now' policy.

Ecology Party of Wilne RDC: Have proposed replacing all petrol pumps in Wilne with charging points. Have also proposed buying electric agricultural vehicles for farmers to resolve the logical issue from that policy. Well one of them anyway.

National Front (South East Derbyshire Branch): Have been shut down after the police discovered they were using the party website to organise a grooming operation targeting young girls in Derby's Asian Community.

Ilkeston Labour Party: Have dredged up Kinnocks Supercouncil idea again and are pressing Long Eaton and Wilne to agree to annexation. Because as the old saying goes: 'if at first you don't succeed, try another 27 times.'

Derby County Borough: It's only taken 2 weeks for literally everyone involved in the decision to decide that formally annexing Morlestone RDC to the County Borough was a terrible idea. Currently trying to find out if they can just give everyone Parish Councils and try and approximate the old system.

South East Derbyshire Rural District Council Community Group: Are blaming EC efficiency drives for the Derby farce. Mind you they're blaming the EC for a lot of things these days- I think the merger was the final straw for a lot of these guys. Today's octopus du jour is Germany which... is a rather unexpected return to tradition I have to say.
 

Nanwe

The Troika always wins
Location
Lund, DK
#40
Parties Rundown: 21 October 2018
Czechoslovaks always complain about how long it takes to form a government - it's only understandable when you need to bridge ideological and ethnic differences, nothing is easy, even though the country usually enjoys way-too-powerful-for-a-parliamentary-democracy Presidents, in the Masaryk and Benes mould. Just imagine: Forming a government that is politically cohesive is the least of worries when you need 5+ parties from 3/4 ethnic groups with different political cultures to reach a bare majority.

The Dienstbier IV Government
The current centre-to-centre-left government is presided by Prime Minister Dienstbier, who despite the name, is ethnically Czech. The coalition has proven surprisingly stable over the years, but that is probably because of that central tenet of Czechoslovak politics: The harder a government was to form, the scarier the possibility of having to negotiate a different one. The government can be proud of its management of the economic crisis, despite the banking bailout and the near-bankruptcy of Škoda Works. As the economy is finally heating up, the government is proposing to do a UBI test run in Bohemia. Most of the government is in agreement about looking more social and implementing the UBI test, but they disagree as to the where. The People's Party insists it should be tried in Moravia-Silesia, the SDS in Slovakia and the German parties insist it ought to be done in an ethnically-mixed region so that it would not only be Czechs (or Slovaks) that would benefit from this policy.

Czechoslovak Social Democracy: The Social Democrats remains in power, as they essentially have almost non-stop since 1945 (and really, almost since 1918). Dienstbier's ability to rule the government is being challenged by the combined threat of party congresses and several state elections in the near future. On top of that, the National Assembly's party whip is retiring, and it is not clear that the parliamentary party will back Dienstbier's candidate. If his own MPs don't accept his candidate, Dienstbier's authority will be dealt a great blow, perhaps forcing his resignation.
National Socialist Party: The National Socialists just held its annual party congress. The party's leadership remained in place - barely - and it also won the important votes on maintaining support for Dienstbier's government. In exchange, the party's ministers and MPs will have to push for weed legalisation, gay marriage, surrogacy and prostitution legalisation. This will improve the party's polling in and around Prague - its stronghold - but will damage the relations of the party with the more conservative members of the governments (Slovaks, Hungarians, the People's Party).
German Social Democratic Workers' Party: The German-speaking Social Democrats are enthusiastic about the UBI initiative. The party's base, industrial working classes in Bohemia (and Moravia-Silesia, I suppose), were hit hard by the economic crises and are none too happy about DSAP's support for bailing out banks, companies or budget cuts. To prevent any more transfers to the Communists, the party is moving to the left, which has created a wider ideological gap with the Social Democrats that many feel comfortable with.
People's Party: The People's Party remains committed - at least until November - to the survival of the government, and quite supportive of the UBI with a caveat. They are insisting that it must be implemented in Moravia-Silesia. Relations with the other coalition parties - chiefly the National Socialists or the DSAP - have deteriorated as of late as both parties are pushing Dienstbier into moving to the left. This could be much more problematic after the Moravia-Silesia state election in three weeks. If the CSL maintains the current government in Brno, then it will remain a loyal ally in Prague. Otherwise, it is likely it will demand a clarification of the coalition agreement.
Slovak Democratic Party: The hegemonic, centre-right party from Slovakia is not very satisfied with the government's apparent shift to the left, which stands at odds with all of the party's families (liberal, Catholic conservative and Christian Democrat). The insatisfaction could be cured by either testing the UBI in Slovakia, ideally in the east where the party could claim the benefits and take voters away from the Republicans, or by devolving more powers to Slovakia. Figel' is working closely with the People's Party to prevent passage of any gay marriage bill.
Hungarian Coalition: The Hungarian Coalition, ideologically flexible to the point of utter indefinition beyond ethnic identity politics is in government to guarantee that Prague listens to the interests of the Hungarian minority and also to make sure that Prague makes Pozsony Bratislava listen to them as well. That is why they will always support this government except if it costs them votes to the Hungarian National Party, that is.
German Christian Social People's Party: As a small party only brought into government to include a certain ideological and ethnic parity between Czechoslovaks and German-speakers, the DCVP is always torn between supporting its ideological partners in the People's Party or their ethnic kin. As a result, it always ends up voting for whatever both parties can agree on in cabinet or abstaining when they can't.

Major opposition parties

Republican Party: The agrarian-turned-liberal-conservatives Republicans are the main opposition party. After nearly a decade out of office at the federal level, the party is pushing hard to force Dienstbier into calling early elections. They have that the advantage of having a new party leader: the current Bohemian Premier is young, handsome and manages to project an image of being both a moderate and a shaker. The party also criticises, rather hypocritically, the government's cuts, when the Republicans are the first party to always try to pursue administrative leanness and lower taxes.
Communist Parties: The existence of the Communists remains a mystery to many. In (Western) Germany, the DKP was banned for much less than what the Communist Parties pulled in 1948, and even after that the party has never come to truly embrace post-Soviet, New Left democratic socialism. The Czechoslovak Communists - which includes Germans but not Slovaks - are seeing their poll numbers rise, as many traditional social democratic voters are pissed at Dienstbier for his neoliberal management of the crisis. The Slovak Communists, the ugly version of the party, remains a small party that is more an extension of the Bohemian federation than anything else.
The Greens: Like is the case for most green parties, the party's dual leadership is seeing an upswing in the polls. It is not as extreme as in Germany or the Netherlands, but the party seems poised to gain half a dozen seats. The party is fairly concerned that the National Socialists' socially libertarian policies might deprive it of some of its natural voter base amongst the youth, especially as the party can't continue relying on its ageing base of environmentalist and anti-nuclear demonstrators from the 1970s and 80s.
National Democracy: The national conservative party has seen the advantages of emulating the FPÖ and Marine Le Pen. As a result, it is quickly transitioning into a right-wing populist party, at least in its message. The same faces and voters remain. As a result, it is unlikely the party will manage to grow much - for now. A shift from neoliberal nationalists into souveranist welfare chauvinists is very tricky.

Minor opposition parties

Slovak Nationalist People's Party: Tiso wasn't so bad. Also, Slovakia must be independent and Catholic, dammit.
German Agrarian Party: There aren't that many German-speaking farmers left, so they are trying this whole 'green conservative' shtick. If you consider remaining in the National Assembly a success, then yeah, it's working.
Hungarian National Party: Orban fanboys, their main political thing, besides wanting to unite Hungarian-speaking Slovakia with Hungary is their opposition to rules forbidding double citizenships.

EDIT: Reworked to make the tone a bit more serious, also some more work into specifics.
 
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