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Biaggi’s Other Opium Den

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine
Im the greatest fucking alternate history user in human history bruh this shit a game to me bruh all I do is post about hating greeks and loving musique concrete on the internet and yet im still doin the AH equivalent of throwing up wilt chamberlain's 100 point game whenever i come back to this frfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfr. alternate history was fucking saved by me dog. you ever read man in the high castle? that shit fucking sucks fam i saved all of you from that. im so influential i got mfs on the biaggi train. dudes hate me cause im so fucking beautiful it shakes earth every time i look in the mirror and theres two of me. yall dudes are getting stomped on by a 6'7 white kid who comes back to this bullshit every month and a half.

enjoy this wikibox ong
2021-07-15-15-07-en.wikipedia.org (1).png

gentleman biaggi

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thinkin about that time the mob almost killed mario cuomo after he quit being governor
  • As per usual, Bush wins in 1992, as Clinton falls apart due to any number of things, and Perot does just the right amount of vote-splitting
  • With many Democrats fearing they'll never return to the presidency, they finally force Cuomo (who destroys Herbert London in '94) into a presidential run
  • Cuomo's elected easily in 1996 over a dying (but increasingly popular) Dan Quayle, and plans to get liberalism back on track!
  • The Italian Mafia is still in bad shape in ITTL 1996, and decide that hitting a president wouldn't be a terrible idea to send a message with.
  • Cuomo visits Sicily, and is killed, and his vice-president, Bob Graham, becomes president
  • Graham, although he faces a popularity boost post-assassination (enough to tide Democrats over through the midterms), is unable to maintain much popularity due to his bland, cracker-like personality.
  • Graham attempts to fix this by picking charismatic ex-charity leader, Cuomo associate, and Poor People's Campaign leader Marian Wright Edelman, who ends up overshadowing Graham and also costs them the south
  • In 2000, a re-energized Republican Party nominates senator Oliver North, who is seen as a return to the Reagan days and is heavily backed by the party's conservative wing.
  • North picks Ken Eikenberry as his VP because Muh Northwest
  • Bob Smith invents his own third party because he claims anti-Catholic politics is on the rise post-Cuomo assassination; forgets Cuomo was Catholic.
  • Graham faces a primary challenge from his party's weirdo wing as Harry Lonsdale attempts to primary him, but ends up hopping to the Reform Party with Ted Turner as his running mate.
  • Campaign gets weird as Graham is attacked on all fronts and folds to pressure, North grows massive margins in South and West but Smith's "Catholic victimhood" campaign holds him back in the split Northeast.
  • Race comes down to Oregon, but Clackamas county folds like the weak willed people they are, and North wins it narrowly.
  • Oliver North utilizes all the post-Cuomo assassination "security measures" to begin to form his global empire, USS Cole bombing gets used as pretext to attack Sudan wayyyyyy earlier
  • Old FBI director is right, Russian mafia becomes major security threat in the US as the old Italian one is destroyed, Brighton Beach becomes a massive criminal hub, not helped by Republican mayoral candidate Bill Green attempting to appeal to Russians in '01 against Democrat Michael Bloomberg (especially when Green wins)
  • North gets gay marriage officially banned in the US
  • Sudanese war goes south very quickly and anti-war protestors begin to rise.
  • John Hagelin gets elected to House from IA-03, Natural Law movement grows in size.
  • North uses Kurdish excuse to invade Iraq as well in 2002
  • Despite controversy in the North administration for astute social conservatism and warmongering, the Democrats remain split and end up nominating Lieberman because they're afraid of looking weak on war.
  • Lieberman chooses John Hendrix as VP because why not
  • Hagelin and Natural Law movement begin to build support among progressives, especially after the Reform Party completely dies and Lonsdale endorses Hagelin.
  • Ron Paul primaries North and does Ron Paul things, endorsing both (insert Libertarian here) and Hagelin.
  • As expected, Lieberman goes out collapsing and Hagelin, with Bill Scranton III as his running mate pulls 5%.
  • North gets caught doing massive financial crimes and is removed from office, causing a rump Eikenberry administration to piss off all wings of the Republican Party.
  • During this time both the Democrats and Natural Law Parties are swept into office, with possible hopes of a popular front being formed between the two.
  • Hagelin. deciding to pull off a new strategy, runs in both party's primaries, and, shockingly, wins both, forging a strange popular front against Eikenberry lead by the Natural Lawers.
  • Hagelin casts aside a split opposition, even with Hendrix running as an "independent Democrat" (while still nominating Hagelin's Vice President).
  • The rest is history.
Presidents of the United States:
Mario Cuomo/Bob Graham (Democratic) 1997-1998
Bob Graham/
vacant (Democratic) 1998-1998
Bob Graham/Marian Wright Edelman (Democratic) 1998-2001

1996 Def. Dan Quayle/Pete Wilson (Republican), Ross Perot/Dan Boren (Reform)
Oliver North/Ken Eikenberry (Republican) 2001-2006
Ken Eikenberry/
vacant (Republican) 2006-2006
Ken Eikenberry/Tom Latham (Republican) 2006-2009

2000 Def. Bob Graham/Marian Wright Edelman (Democratic), Harry Lonsdale/Ted Turner (Reform), Bob Smith/various (Independent)
2004 Def. Joe Lieberman/John Hendrix (Democratic), John Hagelin/Bill Scranton (Natural Law)
John Hagelin/Ronnie Musgrove (Natural Law/Democratic "Popular Front") 2009-????
2008 Def. Ken Eikenberry/Tom Latham (Republican), John Hendrix/Ronnie Musgrove (Independent Democrat)

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine

"Do you think the CIA killed President McCloskey?"
"Absolutely I do"
-Conversation between Reporter John Michaels and Parti Francophone Candidate for Governor of New Hampshire Mike Gravel

"Dick Gephardt once claimed to be a union man. Bah! Following his assumption to power in 2005 he has done nothing but spit on the constituency that elected him! If you want real change in this country, it's time to kick Gephardt out!"
-Mark Dudzic, candidate for President of the United States, 2007

-New Hampshire Union-Leader


"There's one question we are all asking ourselves: 'how on earth did this happen'"
-John Michaels, Election Night 2008

Songs to Have Sloppy Gay Sex To

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine
cool stuff

Presidents of the United States:
Richard Nixon/Spiro Agnew
[1] (Republican) 1969-1971
Richard Nixon/
vacant (Republican) 1971-1971
Richard Nixon
[2]/John Connally (Republican/Democratic) 1971-1972
John Connally/vacant (Independent[3]) 1972-1972
John Connally/John McCain Jr. (Independent) 1972-1973
1968 Def. Hubert Humphrey/Ed Muskie (Democratic), George Wallace/Curtis LeMay (American Independent)
Vance Hartke/Endicott Peabody (Democratic) 1973-1977

1972 Def. John Connally/Rogers Morton (Independent/Republican), George Wallace/Harry Byrd Jr. (American Independent)
Spiro Agnew/Charles Percy (Republican) 1977-1979

Charles Percy/vacant (Republican) 1979-1979
Charles Percy/Marjorie Holt (Republican) 1979-1981
1976 Def. Vance Hartke/Endicott Peabody (Democratic)
Endicott Peabody/William Jennings Bryan Dorn (Democratic) 1981-1989

1980 Def. Charles Percy/Marjorie Holt (Republican), John Rarick/Thomas Moorer (American), Fob James/James Maher (Freedom)
1984 Def. Robert P. Griffin/Buddy Cianci (Republican), James Maher/Trent Lott (United American Conservatives), Ron Dellums/Neil Abercrombie (People's)
Joe Flynn[5]/Mitch McConnell (Republican) 1989-1997

1988 Def. Jerry Williams/Jim Hightower (Democratic)
1992 Def. Tony Bouza/Paul Carpenter (Democratic), Bill Scranton III/Howard Stern (Natural Law)
Mitch McConnell/Chris Smith (Republican) 1997-2001
1996 Def. John Amari/Eli Bebout (Democratic)
Ronald A. Gettelfinger/Jesse Johnson (Progressive Alliance) 2001-2009
2000 Def. Mitch McConnell/Chris Smith (Republican), Steve Forbes/Bill Bradley (Independent)
2004 Def. Cybill Shepherd/Eli Bebout (Unite The Nation![6]), Randy Graf/George Wallace III (1776 Alliance)
Jesse Johnson[7]/Ken Miller (Progressive Alliance/Republican) 2009-2010
Ken Miller/none (Republican) 2010-2010
Ken Miller/Wesley Clark (Republican/Nonpartisan) 2010-2013
2008 Def. Jesse Johnson/Ron Dellums (Progressive Alliance), Brad Wenstrup/Ken Miller (Republican), unpledged electors (Unite The Nation!)
Wesley Clark/Joe Lieberman (Nonpartisan/Independent) 2013-????
2012 Def. Lincoln Chafee/Chris Smith (Opposition)
2016 Def. unopposed

[1] Resigned to be appointed to the Supreme Court
[2] Assassinated by Arthur Bremer
[3] Registered as Independent shortly after assassination
[4] Impeached (and arrested) over corruption and illegally aiding Greece in war against Albania
[5] A lot of Micks are probably named "Joe Flynn", here's this one's wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Flynn_(American_actor)
[6] Won Republican primary
[7] Assassinated in 2010 "Businessman's Coup"

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine
Who Goes There It's The Ghost of October....

Ronald Wilson Reagan[1]/George Herbert Walker Bush (Republican) 1981-1982
George Herbert Walker Bush/
vacant (Republican) 1982-1982
George Herbert Walker Bush/Richard Green Lugar (Republican) 1982-1985

1980 Def. James Earl Carter/Walter Fredrick "Fritz" Mondale (Democratic), John Bayard Anderson/Patrick Joseph Lucey (Independent)
Carl Milton Levin/Theodore Ralph "Ted" Kulongoski (Democratic) 1985-1993
1984 Def. George Herbert Walker Bush/Richard Green Lugar (Republican), Edmund Gerald "Jerry" Brown/Robert Edward "Ted" Turner (National Unity)
1988 Def. Robert Walter "Bob" Kasten/Paul Hardy[2] (Republican), Leonard Johnson Umina/Eugene Joseph "Clean Gene" McCarthy (National Unity-TechnoVote Alliance)

Michael Edward "Mike" Love/William Worthington "Bill" Scranton III (Republican) 1993-2001
1992 Def. Theodore Ralph "Ted" Kulongoski/Joe Edward Pursell (Democratic), Richard Douglas "Dick" Lamm/Jerry Rubin (NU-TV)
1996 Def. (endorsed by NU-TV[3]) James Edward "Jim" Wallis/James Elisa "Jim" Folsom (Democratic)

David Barry "Dave" Brudnoy/Gary Alvin Franks (Republican) 2001-2005
2000 Def. James Roosevelt III/Daniel Robert "Bob" Graham (Democratic)
Theodore Ralph "Ted" Kulongoski/Charles "Chip" Bishop (Democratic) 2005-????
2004 Def. David Barry "Dave" Brudnoy/Gary Alvin Franks (Republican)

[1] Resigned over involvement with "October Surprise" Scandal
[2] While Hardy was elected governor as a Democrat in 1979, his general movement away from the Democrats due to a close partnership with President Reagan led to him leaving the party during Reagan's impeachment, arguing "irreconcilable differences" with the "loony liberal" Democratic Party. Ironically, in his re-election bid he faced archconservative ex-Klansman (and born again Christian) David Duke, who was a Democratic state legislator (and in 1992 a presidential candidate on the Christian Identity "Constitution Party" ticket).
[3] The National Unity-Techno Vote Alliance would endorse President Love following his support for the 28th Amendment in 1995, which intended to replace the electoral college with a two-round popular vote system and make the House of Representatives elected via D'Hondt method. While Love was re-elected, the amendment ended up failing, particularly in the heavily Democratic South.
this is probably my most interesting idea tbh, mike love’s coalition would be insane

imagine marianne williamson in california as a “mike love republican” - it would be so perfect

gentleman biaggi

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he/they is fine
need a tl where richard kay is basically guliani but more successful

one day you’ve elected the man who destroyed the cleveland crime family, the next he’s a bircher