The Alternative To Voting
2010-2015:
David Cameron (Conservative)
2011 AV Referendum: 56% YES, 44% NO
def 2015: (Coalition with Liberal Democrats) Ed Milliband (Labour), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats)
2015-2020:
Andrew Boff (Conservative)
2017: Single Transferrable Vote Act passes the House of Lords
def 2018: (Coalition with Liberal Democrats, de facto DUP support) Tristian Hunt (Labour), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats), Sian Berry (Green)
2020-2022:
Stephen Twigg (Labour)
def 2020: (Coalition with SNP) Andrew Boff (Conservative), Nicola Sturgeon (SNP), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats), Sian Berry (Green)
2020: Single Transferrable Vote Act repealed, replaced by Proportional Representation Act
2021 Scottish Independence Referendum: 52% YES, 48% NO
2022-2024:
Douglas Carswell (Conservative)
def 2022: (Coalition with UKIP) Stephen Twigg (Labour), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Cleo Lake (Green), Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats), Adam Price (Plaid Cymru)
2022: List threshold for proportional representation lowered to 5%
2024 European Union Referendum: 53% REMAIN, 47% LEAVE
2024-2025:
Penny Mourdant (Conservative)
2025-
0000: Cat Smith (Labour)
def 2025: (Coalition with Liberal Democrats, Greens, and Plaid Cymru) Penny Mourdant (Conservative), Danny Alexander (Liberal Democrats), David Kurten (UKIP), Magid Magid (Green), Elin Jones (Plaid Cymru), Paul J. Watson (TrueKIP), Ben Habib (Referendum)
[SCENE: A blank void, with a podium in the middle. Suddenly, the puppet of the TORTOISE flops over the central podium, a gold medal around his neck.]
TORTOISE: Finally! All my hard work has paid off. I'm the winner, because I came first!
[The camera pans over to the third place podium. The puppet HARE is standing there, looking cross]
HARE: Hey! Just because you came first doesn't mean you should get to be the winner! Lots of people liked
me as well!
TORTOISE: Well, not enough of them did, then.
HARE: Nearly everyone thought I was the
second-best. That should count for
something. I demand you count the second-place votes!
[Black-and-white placard with "Some Time Later" on it goes up on screen. Maybe we could do one of those SpongeBob ones that are memes--can we do that without getting sued? Get legal to check]
TORTOISE: I've counted the second places. You've still lost.
HARE: Well, you should let more than one person be a winner, then!
TORTOISE: ...
what?
HARE: You heard me! And since you were such a big meanie about my new system, I say you don't
get to be one of the winners! I'm inviting all my friends to the top of the podium!
[Some Time Later placard goes here again, unless we don't want to emphasise how long vote counts take now as much]
[The SHEEP, UNICORN, and (WHATEVER WE DECIDED FOR THE GREENS--A FLOWER?) help lift the HARE on top of the podium]
UNICORN: Since I helped you guys get on top of the podium, it's only fair that I get to leave now with the ribbon.
FLOWER(?): I don't think it's fair that there's only one medal--I say we divide bits of it up between us!
SHEEP: Why don't we have
more races? Lots and lots and lots, all the time!
DARREN (V/O): Do
you think this is fair?
[DARREN walks on screen as the background fades out. I'm sure there's a way to do this so it looks nice--the effect guy keeps saying he can't do it, but I figure he's just workshy.]
DARREN: We've spent 15 years in a country run like this. Government agendas have been hijacked, again and again, by tiny minorities with radical beliefs, who can easily pass the buck when they fail. Democracy should mean "power to the people", but these days it seems like it means "power to the fruitcakes". Each set of shaky governments pays off their supporters with a new, even more ridiculous, voting system, making the next government even shakier and even more reliant on minnows. We can break this cycle of chaos. But it starts with you.
[Fade out on Darren--put up a bunch of panning shots and videos of activists etc.]
DARREN (V/O): My name is Darren Grimes, and I represent an organisation working to bring back the stability of first-past-the-post--one that needs your help. We're not just another political party. We're non-partisan and above tribalism [throw in Kwarteng speaking and Flint speaking here], we've got supporters all around the UK [remember that big speech Lee Canning did? Yeah, throw it in], and we're built on the backs of people like you. People who are fed up with Westminster's nonsense systems, where they hand the other politicians power just for showing up, and throw unncessary levels of government in just to create more gravy trains.
[Cut back to Darren, looking imposing on top of something--pref. with a flag behind him.]
DARREN: This May, we're going to strike the first blow against this crazy system. When you get your ballot papers for your "devolved parliament" elections, with their sprawl of boxes and elaborate numbering schemes, just...rip them up. Deface them. Refuse to fill them in. Every ballot spoilt in this way is a message to Westminster that we're not going to put up with their nonsense any more. That we don't want to be governed by people who can only get silver medals, and can't win fairly.
[Fade out a bit more here, and get the logo on screen, with phone number/website/ItMe handle or whatever.]
DARREN (V/O): Reform UK. Because you're only a winner if you come first.