After staring into the mirror and psyching myself up like a deleted scene of Friday Night Lights, I did this.
From CelebNewz.com
TOP TEN HOTTEST 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN PRESIDENTS!
10. Woodrow Wilson - the Headmaster
(Democratic, 1908-1913)
You know that superstition that schoolgirls sometimes get crushes on their teachers? You kinda get that when you look at ol' Woody here. He'll see you after class, young lady!
9. Win Rockefeller - The Silver Fox
(Republican, 1993-1997)
Old Money doesn't even have to try and get attention, not with all those fat stacks of cash they wave around everywhere. With a gal on each arm, it wasn't even a contest for him to get the Presidential nomination. Now, if only he didn't bungle the economy, then he might've got that second term.
8. Philip Willkie - The Eagle Scout
(Republican, 1960-1963)
Look at this little guy, this cutie patootie, don't you just want to squeeze his cheeks? America certainly wanted to, and rumour has it President Bankhead certainly did. Lucky her! Also worth pointing out the, ahem, very "enthusiastic" Tumblr following of Joel McHale's portrayal in everyone's favourite historical drama. Such a shame both his presidency and the latest season ended in tragedy...
7. Lynn Marcus - the Foreman
(Democratic/Independent, 1975-1977)
This guy was never supposed to be president, nor was he supposed to be on this list, frankly. We suspect the ravenous base of Weirdos, political outsiders who still carry his philosophy into the 2000s, fudged the numbers. At some point the adoration turned into sheer obsession, and then? We don't wanna talk about it. It's like being so angry at someone you're turned on.
6. Nelson Rockefeller - The Unfaithful Husband
(Republican, 1963-1969)
Let's be honest; if you can somehow cheat on your wife while being president after your former boss was shot by some crazed gunman, that radiates Dragon Energy. This man died from a heart attack while getting some action from his secretary. Tragic, yes, but baller nonetheless.
5. Elizabeth Holtzman - The Bunny
(Democratic, 1980-1988)
Everything about Liz is special -- she took out a popular incumbent, becoming the youngest member in congress, going on to become
the liberal firebrand, and singlehandedly salvaged the reputation of the Democratic party after Dungate, all while looking like an absolute S N A C C
4. Jerry Voorhis - The Hotshot
(Democratic, 1933-1937)
A young California Ur-Liberal with so much potential that was cut short by McCarthyist redwashing. He couldn't do anything for the Great Depression, but he certainly did something for the housewives of the nation.
3. Tallulah Bankhead - the Cougar
(Democratic, 1941-1952)
What can be said about this absolute queen that hasn't been gossiped about already? The first female president was infamous for her private life, with rumours of affairs with all three of the Kennedy brothers, Ernst Thälmann, Juan García Oliver, and possibly Marilyn Monroe. If you believe the whispers, she's had them as well as whatever strapping White House intern was in front of her during her 5pm tipple. Nothing's hotter than having the cajones to call McCarthy a 'spoilt diva' during her first state of the union address.
Woof!
2. Philip La Follette - the Scamp
(Republican, 1925-1929)
After the stellar record of his pops, you'd expect the younger, more handsome son to do an even better job, right? Sigh. It's a good thing he's cute, or else those coal workers would've torn him to pieces, lest their wives weren't holding them back.
1. Jim Traficant - The Sheriff
(Democratic, 1969-1975)
"Is Traficant hot or not?" is a question that people feel very strongly about but can never give a straight answer. Technically speaking, he's a bad boy. He took bribes, he rigged votes, he got impeached and left us with President Marcus, and then ended up in jail for a whole other thing. Maybe if he wore his old letterman jacket and chewed a toothpick we'd understand more. But he's number one on the list, so who could blame you. Maybe our respondents just wanted to get back at their dads.
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