David Flin
Bury my body in an unmarked grave
- Location
- A Home Full of Love and Laughter
Discuss this very early vignette, Cheap at the Price, here.
Somewhat reminiscent of @Meadow 's "Zonen", where the overall drive seems to be "there would be no real impact on anything if Denmark was given an occupation zone in Germany for a few years after WW2" but it turns out (spoilers)Outstanding. It's so important that younger generations remember the sacrifices made by their forebears. And the line in your intro - 'There is always cost even in an easy victory' - is something which is so often forgotten.
There is always cost even in an easy victory.
Lovely writing as always.
If I'm honest, I don't actually rate it that highly. Maybe I was too close to it, but it felt forced when I wrote it, it felt forced when Fight Them On The Beaches was being put together (hence I declined to have it part of that collection), and it feels forced and stilted now.
I can't put my finger on why it feels so wooden to me (if I could, I would be a better writer than I am), but it is still very much a work-in-progress.
It's hard to pin down, but I think I know what you mean. Good writing has a spring in its step, and this doesn't always succeed in getting there. I sympathise - I'm on the point of rewriting 80,000 words because what I've written has that same problem of being just too heavy footed to work properly.If I'm honest, I don't actually rate it that highly. Maybe I was too close to it, but it felt forced when I wrote it, it felt forced when Fight Them On The Beaches was being put together (hence I declined to have it part of that collection), and it feels forced and stilted now.
I can't put my finger on why it feels so wooden to me (if I could, I would be a better writer than I am), but it is still very much a work-in-progress.
The Granddad's certainly might relate to his being fixed in a certain point and time however you could possibly bring the Grandson into it a bit more, maybe have him revisiting him at different points in his life; first taking the Granddad's convictions without question then later beginning to question them?
If I'm honest, I don't actually rate it that highly. Maybe I was too close to it, but it felt forced when I wrote it, it felt forced when Fight Them On The Beaches was being put together (hence I declined to have it part of that collection), and it feels forced and stilted now.
I can't put my finger on why it feels so wooden to me (if I could, I would be a better writer than I am), but it is still very much a work-in-progress.