- Location
- Tamaki Makaurau
From an ancient King List deciphered by the archaeologists of the University of Neo-Mumbai.
List of 'Prime Ministers' of the United Kingdom
1945 AD-c.1950 AD: Clement Attlee [1]
c.1950 AD-1955 AD: Winston Churchill [2]
1955 AD-?: Anthony Eden [3]
fl. 1962 AD: Harold I Macmillan [4]
1964 AD: Alec Douglas-Home [5]
1964 AD-c.1970 AD: Harold II Wilson [6]
c.1970 AD-1974 AD: Ted Heath [7]
1974 AD-?: Harold II Wilson (restored) [7]
?-1979 AD: James Callaghan [8]
1979 AD-?: Margaret Thatcher [9]
fl. c.1995 AD: John Major [10]
NOTE: Dates are given in the AD format used at the time, which denotes the number of years that had passed After the Death of Jesús, a footballer who saved the World Cup thanks to a nailed-on cross and perfect execution. Most scholars agree that 1945 AD equates to ~6,256 BDA, although it should be noted that the ancient Britons began their years at the depths of winter, during our own month of Hen'Tai.
[1] - Clement is theorised to have served as Pope (a religious leader) as well as Prime Minister, judging by the occurrence of the name in Papal king lists found in USBs. He was certainly a cultic figure in the later cult of Nahus, which leads some classicists to believe that he was not a real king but a folk deity inserted into the regnal chronology at a later date.
[2] - Winston is perhaps the best known monarch of this period, his battles against King Hitler of the Holy Roman Empire being dramatised in a recent longvue serial. The fact that King Hitler is known to have faced his final defeat at the Battle of Deday in 1945, however, casts doubt on the accuracy of this king list. It may well be that Winston and Hitler were not contemporaneous, or that Winston had served as a dux bellorum under an earlier Prime Minister.
[3] - Whatever the truth about Winston, Prime Minister Anthony seems to have been a feebler leader, a weak man known not for his deeds but for a type of hat that he wore - not a crown, but possibly a decorative headpiece conceived to commemorate a military victory over King Hitler at Homburg (or the Hornburg, if King Theoden can indeed be confidently identified with this period). Anthony also suffered a shameful defeat himself at Sues, which is perhaps the origin of the phrase 'suing for peace'.
[4] - Little is known of Harold I, other than his bookishness and his reputation as a builder. Many stunning pieces of architecture, such as the 'Shard' and the 'Gherkin', are held to be products of Harold I's genius, but archaeologists now believe these to date from somewhat later in the era. The names of these buildings, of course, are not contemporary, and will only stick as descriptive nicknames until archaeologists work out what they were actually used for. The best guess so far is that they had a sacral or ritual purpose.
[5] - Prime Minister Alec only reigned one year, and came to power in the brutal Night of the Long Knives, whose victims included nobles such as Selwyn Lloyd, a royal butler named Rab, and some former allies of King Hitler who had defected to the British court, for instance Lord Roem. Alec was in turn defeated by Harold II.
[6] - Although bearing a different cognomen to Harold I, it is generally supposed that Harold II was a close relative of Macmillan, possibly through a female line. It would therefore make perfect sense that he would seek to avenge his kinsman against the usurper Alec. Harold II presents a mixed figure to historians: on the one hand, he won the World Cup (a ceremonial religious blood-sport) against the Holy Roman Empire, in a ritual victory that confirmed the results of the Hitlerian Wars, but on the other hand, he debased the coinage - ever the mark of a weak, short-termist leader. Only forty years later, the British economy collapsed.
[7] - Ted was another usurper, but seems to have died childless. He was even less impressive than Harold II, submitting Britain to the Empire only a few years after they had won the World Cup.
[8] - Ted's weakness extended to leaving his predecessor alive, and as Harold II had already seized the throne on one occasion, he could easily do it again with help from his allies in Russia. However, he seems to have died not long afterwards, without succeeding in liberating Britain from the Empire.
[9] - The new king, James, seems to have inherited an unstable position: he is known to have "gone cap in hand to the Imf" (perhaps he offered a Homburg hat to some sort of Arab sheikh as a form of tribute?) and was desperate enough in the face of Imperial domination that he instituted a three-day week - i.e. a four-day extravaganza of religious rituals aimed at grovelling to the gods for deliverance. Some scholars, however, ascribe the three-day week to Ted, but it is perfectly plausible that the supplication was attempted on two occasions. James' reign seems to have been a time of regional discontent, as the king himself was a Welshman (presumably chosen to pacify fractious regional elites who might otherwise have taken up arms in revolt) and he was killed in battle with the Irish chieftain Gerry Fitt, who rebelled against James despite his earlier demonstrations of loyalty.
[10] - Queen Margaret now came to power with the support of most of the nobles, and followed her east-country forebear Boadicea in asserting independence from the Empire, although it seems to have returned to authority over Britain shortly afterwards. Aside from the Holy Roman Empire, Margaret also rebuffed an invasion from the otherwise mysterious nation of Silverland (possibly Switzerland?). Despite her military prowess, Margaret continued to suffer from regional rebellions (principally from King Arthur, the hero of the Northumbrians and the Welsh who, it is claimed, will return when they are in their direst peril) and economic difficulties, going so far as to sell off some organs of the state - thus, inevitably, reducing the prestige of the nation and the monarchy. She was rumoured by hostile opponents to have had her daughter, Princess Diana, murdered, although it is unclear whether this actually happened during Margaret's reign. Possibly it took place at the same time as her other daughter was punished for her mother's supposedly harsh rule (a clearly sexist rejection of the emergent matriarchy) by being forced to eat the testicles of an Australian Two-Footed Horse.
[11] - King John (or 'Lackland') came from the affluent suburb of Brixton and, instead of dealing with Britain's very real problems, instead spent his time participating in a seemingly bacchanalian religious ritual called Cricket, the purpose of which seems to have been to create a trance-like state by spinning a ball for as much as five days, while drinking copious amounts of a type of beer made from hops and malt. John is the last king we can definitively name, and the decline of the country can be seen in the popularity of a folk legend about three lions - thought to represent Scotland, Wales and England savaging each other over the next "thirty years of hurt". As the Kingdom broke up into warring statelets after the Donaldian Plague, the bards can only have been prophetic - or, alternatively, the story may well have been made up after the fact and inserted into the histories.
List of 'Prime Ministers' of the United Kingdom
1945 AD-c.1950 AD: Clement Attlee [1]
c.1950 AD-1955 AD: Winston Churchill [2]
1955 AD-?: Anthony Eden [3]
fl. 1962 AD: Harold I Macmillan [4]
1964 AD: Alec Douglas-Home [5]
1964 AD-c.1970 AD: Harold II Wilson [6]
c.1970 AD-1974 AD: Ted Heath [7]
1974 AD-?: Harold II Wilson (restored) [7]
?-1979 AD: James Callaghan [8]
1979 AD-?: Margaret Thatcher [9]
fl. c.1995 AD: John Major [10]
NOTE: Dates are given in the AD format used at the time, which denotes the number of years that had passed After the Death of Jesús, a footballer who saved the World Cup thanks to a nailed-on cross and perfect execution. Most scholars agree that 1945 AD equates to ~6,256 BDA, although it should be noted that the ancient Britons began their years at the depths of winter, during our own month of Hen'Tai.
[1] - Clement is theorised to have served as Pope (a religious leader) as well as Prime Minister, judging by the occurrence of the name in Papal king lists found in USBs. He was certainly a cultic figure in the later cult of Nahus, which leads some classicists to believe that he was not a real king but a folk deity inserted into the regnal chronology at a later date.
[2] - Winston is perhaps the best known monarch of this period, his battles against King Hitler of the Holy Roman Empire being dramatised in a recent longvue serial. The fact that King Hitler is known to have faced his final defeat at the Battle of Deday in 1945, however, casts doubt on the accuracy of this king list. It may well be that Winston and Hitler were not contemporaneous, or that Winston had served as a dux bellorum under an earlier Prime Minister.
[3] - Whatever the truth about Winston, Prime Minister Anthony seems to have been a feebler leader, a weak man known not for his deeds but for a type of hat that he wore - not a crown, but possibly a decorative headpiece conceived to commemorate a military victory over King Hitler at Homburg (or the Hornburg, if King Theoden can indeed be confidently identified with this period). Anthony also suffered a shameful defeat himself at Sues, which is perhaps the origin of the phrase 'suing for peace'.
[4] - Little is known of Harold I, other than his bookishness and his reputation as a builder. Many stunning pieces of architecture, such as the 'Shard' and the 'Gherkin', are held to be products of Harold I's genius, but archaeologists now believe these to date from somewhat later in the era. The names of these buildings, of course, are not contemporary, and will only stick as descriptive nicknames until archaeologists work out what they were actually used for. The best guess so far is that they had a sacral or ritual purpose.
[5] - Prime Minister Alec only reigned one year, and came to power in the brutal Night of the Long Knives, whose victims included nobles such as Selwyn Lloyd, a royal butler named Rab, and some former allies of King Hitler who had defected to the British court, for instance Lord Roem. Alec was in turn defeated by Harold II.
[6] - Although bearing a different cognomen to Harold I, it is generally supposed that Harold II was a close relative of Macmillan, possibly through a female line. It would therefore make perfect sense that he would seek to avenge his kinsman against the usurper Alec. Harold II presents a mixed figure to historians: on the one hand, he won the World Cup (a ceremonial religious blood-sport) against the Holy Roman Empire, in a ritual victory that confirmed the results of the Hitlerian Wars, but on the other hand, he debased the coinage - ever the mark of a weak, short-termist leader. Only forty years later, the British economy collapsed.
[7] - Ted was another usurper, but seems to have died childless. He was even less impressive than Harold II, submitting Britain to the Empire only a few years after they had won the World Cup.
[8] - Ted's weakness extended to leaving his predecessor alive, and as Harold II had already seized the throne on one occasion, he could easily do it again with help from his allies in Russia. However, he seems to have died not long afterwards, without succeeding in liberating Britain from the Empire.
[9] - The new king, James, seems to have inherited an unstable position: he is known to have "gone cap in hand to the Imf" (perhaps he offered a Homburg hat to some sort of Arab sheikh as a form of tribute?) and was desperate enough in the face of Imperial domination that he instituted a three-day week - i.e. a four-day extravaganza of religious rituals aimed at grovelling to the gods for deliverance. Some scholars, however, ascribe the three-day week to Ted, but it is perfectly plausible that the supplication was attempted on two occasions. James' reign seems to have been a time of regional discontent, as the king himself was a Welshman (presumably chosen to pacify fractious regional elites who might otherwise have taken up arms in revolt) and he was killed in battle with the Irish chieftain Gerry Fitt, who rebelled against James despite his earlier demonstrations of loyalty.
[10] - Queen Margaret now came to power with the support of most of the nobles, and followed her east-country forebear Boadicea in asserting independence from the Empire, although it seems to have returned to authority over Britain shortly afterwards. Aside from the Holy Roman Empire, Margaret also rebuffed an invasion from the otherwise mysterious nation of Silverland (possibly Switzerland?). Despite her military prowess, Margaret continued to suffer from regional rebellions (principally from King Arthur, the hero of the Northumbrians and the Welsh who, it is claimed, will return when they are in their direst peril) and economic difficulties, going so far as to sell off some organs of the state - thus, inevitably, reducing the prestige of the nation and the monarchy. She was rumoured by hostile opponents to have had her daughter, Princess Diana, murdered, although it is unclear whether this actually happened during Margaret's reign. Possibly it took place at the same time as her other daughter was punished for her mother's supposedly harsh rule (a clearly sexist rejection of the emergent matriarchy) by being forced to eat the testicles of an Australian Two-Footed Horse.
[11] - King John (or 'Lackland') came from the affluent suburb of Brixton and, instead of dealing with Britain's very real problems, instead spent his time participating in a seemingly bacchanalian religious ritual called Cricket, the purpose of which seems to have been to create a trance-like state by spinning a ball for as much as five days, while drinking copious amounts of a type of beer made from hops and malt. John is the last king we can definitively name, and the decline of the country can be seen in the popularity of a folk legend about three lions - thought to represent Scotland, Wales and England savaging each other over the next "thirty years of hurt". As the Kingdom broke up into warring statelets after the Donaldian Plague, the bards can only have been prophetic - or, alternatively, the story may well have been made up after the fact and inserted into the histories.
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