Stock up on sleep. You'll need it.
Training exercises:
1. Take the contents of your wallet. Throw it away. Children are expensive.
2. Being violently woken up every two hours at night.
3. Tread on sharp, painful objects in the form of toys.
4. Get used to the child discovering games like "climb to the top of the slide, and jump off, confident that Daddy will catch you before you hit the ground."
5. You know those television programmes you used to like?
6. Discover the joys of whatever the modern equivalent of the Tweenies and Postman Pat are.
7. Discover the true meaning of the phrase that a baby is an alimentary canal with a mouth at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
8. Discover that going anyway by car involves more equipment and planning than the invasion of Normandy.
3 - There was a great french song recently, with the catchphrase "marcher sur un Playmobil" (= to step on a Playmobil). D'OOOOH !!!
6 -
Paw patrol. must.die. God how I HATE the silly thing.
Stupid servile dogs.
7 - and 8 - Hell yes, and hell, yes, again. Geez.
Point 7 - Dear God... here is a pretty good one.
My 4-year-old kid had just learned how to use a potty. And toilets. Except that... my mother home is as huge as a castle and the toilet is, for a kid, as remote as Vladivostok or Ultima Thule. Ok, so we usually gave the kid a potty. Alas, that fateful day, we tragically forgot the potty.
And the poor kid found he did not had enough time to reach the toilet. So he faced an impossible dilema... and solved it in his own, unique way. Without telling anybody. And he returned sleeping, just like that, not at all annoyed by the smell of... well, you know.
then my wife went to awoke him. And i heard exactly this
"Oh ça pue la dedans, il a ch... oh non, j'ai marché dedans !!"
"Dear god, that room smell, did that kid ... OH DEAR, I STEPPED STRAIGHT INTO IT."
The kid had shit on the floor and bravely covered the thing with a towel. Creating a booby trap my wife fell straight into. I nearly suffocated in laughter.