Word of warning: had to change around a few things because I don't want to be left a joyless husk.
Top 10 fan-favourites of the 2030s
the definite charter of Singles, Albums and EPs, according to total listens, purchases and review aggregates
10. Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg, Marsha Ambrosius, Candice Pillay, Soce, the elemental wizard, Armand Hammer - Detox (2032)
Genres: West Coast hip hop, G-Funk
Dre had been hinting at dropping Detox since all the way back in 2002. Many thought it'd never actually materialise, as he'd been quite comfortable sticking to producing, especially considering he was wheelchair-bound after a deadly aneurism in the late '20s.
9. B.o.B ft. Q Shaman - Face The Storm (2039)
Genres: Hip-hop
Trumpist conspiracism was back on the rise as 2040 dawned, despite Hawley losing to Lumumba by a laughable plurality. So was the "Most cancelled rapper in history". Does he actually believe this stuff, or is he collaborating with a documented domestic terrorist for the clout? Should we take him seriously? Is Spotify gonna relent to the death threats and shootings and put it back on streaming services? We're still undecided.
8. Paul McCartney - One Last Thing Before I Leave... (2037)
Genres: Rock 'n Roll
The world collectively wept when Sir James Paul McCartney passed away. This was it, we thought, end of an era, the Beatles are finally dead. As it turns out, the late Macca had been tucking away off-cuts and extras since 2002, a project he cheekily referred to as his 'Christmas cupboard'. The sympathy from grieving critics alone would've guaranteed this a spot on this list, but never mind that, its still solid.
7. Dorian Electra ft. Billie Eilish, Lil Nas X, Rich Brian, Ashnikko, King Princess, Pet Shop Boys - Son of Glam (2030)
Genres: Hyperpop, experimental pop, bubblegum bass
Their first album with Jagjaguwar Records was a major leap for both the artist and their fans, and by all means it payed off. More than the streaming royalties, it gave Electra much greater access to the 'industry', producing one of the more star-studded records they've made since.
6. Janelle Monáe ft. Ravyn Lenae, MonoNeon, Raury, Anderson .Paak, Meechy Darko - Thinking Machine (2033)
Genres: Neo soul, alternative R&B, psychedelic pop, psychedelic soul
After a prolonged wilderness sabbatical involving acting, two broadway musicals and entering the political arena, Monáe returned to the studio and delivered unto fans the final chapter in her seven-part Metropolis concept album series.
5. Bumazhnye Tigry ft. Molchat doma - Chelovek-Pyl [Dust Man] (2030)
Genres: Cold wave, post-punk
As Russia exploded into civil war, one particular song kept being blared out of home sound systems during mandatory curfews captured on Periscope: Bumazhnye Tigry's cover of a throwaway punk song lifted from "Vi är bäst!". This became sort of a rallying cry for those covertly critical of Rotenberg and Malofeev, which must've been a mystery for it's band members, waking up to see their 2030 breakup album to be topping the European charts.
4. Finn Wolfhard ft. Isra Hirsi, Grandson, Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift - From The Depths! (2031)
Genres: Indie rock, indie pop
We give up. We will never understand teenage girls. We didn't understand them when they obsessed about the Beatles, nor did we with 1D, or BTS. Now the kid from those Marvel movies is the hottest new commodity? There are some saving graces for the old hats, however, mainly in King Kendrick offering us a placeholder feature, and Swift being included will appeal to those who remember the days of "She wears short skirts/I wear sneakers".
3. Jeremy Corbyn and Stormzy - Stop the Skeng (2037)
Genres: Comedy hip hop, UK drill
The ultimate charity single - the former socialist leader of the Labour Party, alongside the former Mayor of London and Drill progenitor, wth all proceeds going to Lipman-Miliband. But who gives a toss about that? Corbyn raps, or at least tries, about how parliment "
ain't the only thing that's hung". It was instant meme wildfire.
2. Neil Cicierega - Mouth Moves (2031)
Genres: Mashup, experimental
Speaking of meme wildfire: Cicierega is the father of most modern internet culture and there's no denying his greatness. When he finally announced his retirement to live a normal life, he left us a double-album's worth of mashups, freestyles and instrumentals, all available for free download.
1. Run The Jewels ft. Chelmico, ALI, Erykah Badu, Nacho Picasso, Spark Master Tape - RTJ 8 (Battle Without Honour or Humanity) (2033)
Genres: Conscious hip hop, jazz rap, J-Rap, experimental hip hop, G-funk
And here we have it. The crowning jewel (pun intended) of /mu/ ranters everywhere, seamlessly blending old-world rap with new-world J-pop energy, all while maintaining an absolutely timeless political sentiment. Every few years Killer Mike and EL-P prove that they are in a league all to their own. There isn't much to say about how good it is that hasn't already been gushed by the critics.
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