Alternate Wikibox Thread

[Blackentheborg]

Musical Chairs

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[allthepresidentsmen]

Here's 2024 in a Trump 2020 scenario.

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[CTTeller]

The first few elections in a series I'm calling The Lady Rusts.

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[Blackentheborg]

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Lee Harvey Oswald (October 18, 1939 – October 5, 1977) was a U.S. Marine veteran and American defector who assassinated anti-communist and white supremacist Major General Edwin Walker in 1963, subsequently entering into a lawsuit against the Federal Bureau of Investigation for conspiracy. A major figure in the American counterculture movement, his stylised visage has become a ubiquitous countercultural symbol of rebellion and global insignia for both communism and anarchism in popular culture.

Oswald was placed in juvenile detention at the age of 12 for truancy, during which time he was assessed by a psychiatrist as "emotionally disturbed", due to a lack of normal family life. After attending 22 schools in his youth, he quit repeatedly, and finally when he was 17, joined the Marines. Oswald was court-martialed twice while in the Marines, and jailed. He was honourably released from active duty in the Marine Corps into the reserve, then promptly flew to Europe and defected to the Soviet Union in October 1959. He lived in Minsk, Byelorussia, married a Russian woman named Marina, and had a daughter. In June 1962, he returned to the United States with his wife, and eventually settled in Dallas, where their second daughter was also born. During this period he became involved in various Communist and pro-Cuban movements, and was noted on public record as identifying as a Marxist-Leninist.

Oswald shot and killed Walker on the evening of April 10, 1963, from outside the General's home in Turtle Creek Boulevard. Despite successfully fleeing the scene, police located Oswald's 1940 Italian surplus rifle and arrested him the following day. Oswald was charged with the assassination of a military officer, but he fervently denied responsibility for the killing, claiming that he was a "patsy". Despite these claims, he was sentenced to 10 years without parole and imprisoned in Dallas County Jail. During his incarceration, Oswald began claiming he was part of a scheme by the FBI, having being headhunted during his readmission to the United States, to carry out assassinations of high-value targets while putting the blame on communist sympathisers.

Represented by District Attorney Jim Garrison, Oswald sought to sue the FBI for being manipulated into committing murder and potential treason. The trial lasted for a period of three years, during which time Oswald and Garrison brought forth several more allegations, including the former's accusations that elements within the intelligence agency were planning to facilitate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Despite forensic, ballistic, and eyewitness evidence supporting the case against Oswald, public opinion polls have shown that most Americans still do not believe that the official version tells the whole truth of the events, and the trial has since spawned numerous conspiracy theories.

After serving out his sentence, Oswald and his family moved several times before settling in Michigan, where his wife Maria enrolled in the Ann Arbor English Language Institute. He continued to be a prominent voice in the American anti-imperialist and communist movements, giving several interviews where he maintained he was headhunted by the FBI and demanded greater transparency from the administrations of Presidents Kennedy, Reagan and Crane. In 1977, Oswald ran out of his apartment and into traffic on the nearby interstate, where he was hit by a car, and killed; he was several days from turning 40 and had largely retreated from public appearances. His death was ruled a suicide, though his wife said that it was accidental, and conspiracy theorists maintain that his death was suspicious.

Above: musician Kurt Cobain wears an Oswald shirt in 1996.​

Oswald remains both a revered and reviled historical figure, polarised in the collective imagination in a multitude of biographies, documentaries, and aforementioned conspiracy theories. As a result of his crusade against American intelligence agencies, Oswald has been posthumously coopted into an icon of various left-wing movements, predominantly Marxist-Leninists and Anarchists within the United States. Oswald's 1963 mugshot has been extensively reproduced as a commodity, appearing most commonly on T-Shirts as a symbol of rebellion. As noted by Columbia University's Professor of International and Public Affairs Laurence Maupin; "[Oswald's] image has worked its way into languages around the world. It has become a godly graphic, a hieroglyph, an instant symbol. It mysteriously reappears whenever there's a conflict. It is almost synonymous with the struggle of the masses against the shadowy elites."

 

[aaa]

"University Challenge America! Asking the questions, George Stephanopoulos!"

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This one goes out to Jeremy Paxman. The next presenter, whomever they may be, has some very big shoes to fill.

 

[King of the Uzbeks]

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“PRIOR ROSSITE TRANSLITERATION FLAWED

An update from the NASA Rossite Linguistic center has announced a major breakthrough in translating information sent from Rossite sources. Prior transliterations failed to adequately distinguish between certain sounds when providing romanizations of Rossite words. It is important to note that, with a few minor exceptions, translations are not impacted by these changes. Rather the forms by which Rossite vocal patterns (if they can be called that) are written using human alphabets have shifted, so as to better accommodate the ways Rossites communicate,”
- Science, November 16, 2064

“There is of course a vast body of work that is simply untranslatable at the moment, some of it is that there appear to be multiple Rossite languages, and maybe even script variations. And not every different form was constructed to be decoded the way the main transmissions are. Also, some simply make references to cultural touchstones that we simply lack. Imagine calling somebody a Robin Hood, who has no idea that suggests stealing from the rich to give to the poor. That sort of thing.

…

Yes there was a Star Trek episode about that.”
- NASA Spokesman, December 3, 2064

“Meet the fans translating Tolkien into Rossite”
- CBR.com, January 12, 2065

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
KkQqKtQk QtXpCx KtQpQk QcTpKcKcQtQxQc KkTp KPQcQkQtQpQpQp, KkQqKtQk QtXpCx KtQpQk KkTtQpQcCxCxKp KkTp KPQcQkQtQpQpQp”
- Charles Dickens, 1859 (translated 2065)

“So I just tried my hand at some translating and it makes no sense. It went ‘slashed the king the sword’ what does that mean?

it means you forgot that it uses Verb Subject Object you dingus. All the official translations do that for you.”
- Internet Users, February 16, 2065

“Malagasy Code Talkers?”
- Madagascar Tribune, February 28, 2065

“How the Rossites talk”
- Science, March 3, 2065

“The Rossite Claws are used in a way that is completely different than a crab’s claws. The similarities are mostly superficial. Each claw can be raised and lowered independently of one another. When the claws are snapped, they make a different sound depending on their hight. They have two claws and so can use combinations to further their complexity. We still have little idea about how they developed this capability, from an evolutionary perspective.”
- Indian Xenolinguist, May 7, 2065

“Why we still only know the basics of what Rossite Sounds like,”
- Des Moines Register, May 19, 2065

“Why Romanization is nearly impossible for Rossite,”
- Chicago Tribune, May 30, 2065

“All humans, no matter how they speak or write, ultimately have the same limited vocabulary. There are only so many grunts, stops, clicks and vowels the human mouth can produce. The IPA lists 107 sounds, along with 54 diacritics and 4 prosodic marks, which add additional nuance to certain sounds. These sounds are called phonemes, Of course not every language uses every phoneme and not every phoneme is in every language. The language with the most phonemes used is somewhat debated, but Norman and a language called Nemi from New Caledonia both have 48 phonemes. Nemi is a member of the vast Austronesian Language family which also includes the language with the least phonemes, which is Hawaiian. However Rossite phonemes simply operate on a different level than human ones. I mean…they use their claws not mouths. At least we think so.”
- Xenolingust Shiro Rei, June 4, 2065.

“International Phonetic Association President: ‘you are massacring our alphabet with this system’”
- La Monde, June 17, 2065

“How does NASA intend to talk with the Rossites?”
- Des Moines Register, June 20, 2065

“at last my years of playing click clack with the salad tongs pays off”
- Internet User LubLad, June 21, 2065

“WRITTEN COMMUNICATION LIKELY, SAYS REI”
- POLITICO, June 30, 2065

“In addition have having the simple benefit of being accessible to both parties, written communication will likely help limit the implications of non-verbal communication. A Rossite would have no idea what a nod or a shrug would mean. And it it possible, even probable, that Rossites have their own body language. Positions of the tentacles, how high they stand on their legs. Maybe both or neither but something else. Writing will avoid the issue until we understand these concepts better.”
- NASA Memo, July 2, 2065

“How the Rossite Language reflects how they speak”
- Science, July 5, 2065

“Written Rossite is not a strictly accurate representation of where they position their respective claws when hey speak. And it condenses the rest of the body into a single line, not the full outline. But dots do indicate the relative hight of the claws when they click, with lines. These lines may reflect some unknown mechanism or cultural connotation. When one claw is silent a separate set of symbols are used. The right and left claws appear to be interchangeable. Thus a “QueueEx” symbol shows that one claw is raised to full hight and one lowered completely. The Higher letter takes precedence in our system of transliteration, taking cues from their own alphabet.
- Xenolingust Shiro Rei, July 15, 2065

“Rossite Alphabet relatively new, Brazil says.”
- Washington Post, July 20, 2065

“HUMANS HAVE HAD ALPHABET LONGER THAN ROSSITES!”
- Yonkers Daily News, July 21, 2065

“Rossites recreated script to be universally applied

This ‘reformed’ alphabet seems to have been adopted in the 1810s in the South, and spread from there. It appears designed so that most Rossite languages can use one alphabet easily and intuitively. It is not just a writing system, but a universal pronunciation guide.”
- Des Moines Register, July 22, 2065

“Some Rossite transmissions use older alphabet”
- Des Moines Register, July 29, 2065

“How the Korean Alphabet predicted Rossite”
- TIME, August 9, 2065

“Hangul: A Primer”
- Los Angeles Times, August 14, 2065

“Foreign Interest in Sejong the Great at an all time high”
- The Chosun Ilbo, August 23, 2065

“As Humans stumbled along, learning what they could, so to did the Rossites. They would find some things familiar. And some things shocking.”
- Contact: As They Knew It, 2105

“New information about these ‘humans,’ how they talk.”

“Do tell.”

“Ewwwwww”

“What?”

“They talk with their mouths.”

“What the ****?”

“That’s what it says. They talk with their mouths.”

“The flying ****? What the **** does that mean?”

“Just that they use their mouths to talk, just like we use our claws.”

“How do they eat then? If their mouths are used to talk?”

“They still use their mouth.”

“How does that ******* work? Can they not talk and eat at the same time? How do they have dinner and conversation?”

“How should I know?”

“How would you even make noises with you mouth, I mean look at me right now I’m moving stuff but it’s just some squishy noises. Do humans sound squishy?”

“Says here air travels up their throat and vibrates or something. Oh wait, their use their mouth to breathe to?”

“****! That is the ******* weirdest ******* thing I have ever ******** heard! They use their mouth for three different things? Sounds disgusting.”

“Be nice, I’m sure they find some things we do weird.”

“Yeah yeah I know.”
- Rossite Conversation



“Can the Bible Be Translated across species?”
- Des Moines Register, January 31, 2067

“Pope blesses official translation effort”
- la Repubblica, February 1, 2067

“Why the Mormon Church has an advantage in dealing with alien life”
- The Salt Lake Tribune, February 9, 2067

“OKLAHOMA PASTOR CLAIMS ROSSITES MADE BY SATAN”
- POLITICO, March 1, 2067

“ARE THE ROSSITES THE LOST TRIBES OF ISRAEL?”
- Yonkers Daily News, March 5, 2067

“Any species that manages interstellar travel had obviously given up on sky daddy”
- Atheist Commentator, March 16, 2067

“Rossite Religion Remains Reclusive,”

…We have several texts that may be religious in nature that have been transmitted and translated. But they could also be fairy tales or myths from religious structures that are no longer active. The Iliad has gods for example, but does not reflect modern faith...”
- Union for the Study of Rossite Religion and Philosophy Report, March 27, 2067

“ROSSITE SHAMANS?”
- POLITICO, March 30, 2067

“Ancestor Veneration in Rossite texts”
- Des Monies Register, May 3, 2067

“Up is Down and Down is Up: Rossite Heaven and Rossite Hell”
- TIME, May 12, 2067

“Purgatory and the Rossite Afterlife: A Comparative Analysis”
- Union for the Study of Rossite Religion and Philosophy Report, May 19, 2067

“Cult of the Island: Human Sacrifice?”
- Des Moines Register, May 23, 2067

“Well, technically it would be Rossite sacrifice wouldn’t it?”
- Internet Commentator Gulppy, May 23, 2067

“Just how religious are the Rossites?”
- TIME, May 30, 2067

“Rossite Secularism: Fact or Fiction?”
- Chicago Tribune, June 1, 2067

“The rash assertion that 'God made man in His own image' is ticking like a time bomb at the foundation of many faiths, and as the hierarchy of the universe is disclosed to us, we may have to recognize this chilling truth: if there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they cannot be very important gods.“
- Arthur C. Clarke, 1965

“One of the problems with understanding the Rossites is that we don’t really understand the culture or history they are operating in. Do they not mention gods certain areas because they are secular? Or are there strong religious taboos against it?”
- NASA Press Release, June 9, 2067

“As Contact Day approaches, consumers eager to latch onto Rossite trends”
- Chicago Tribune, June 28, 2067

“The trouble is that, well, Rossites wear far fewer clothes than we do, at least it seems like that. And none of it works on human anatomy anyways.”
- Fashion CEO, 2067

“10 Greatest Works of Rossite Literature (that we have so far)”
- Barnes & Noble.com, July 7, 2067

“RSC’s Othello draws praise, criticism

The most recent production of Othello by the Royal Shakespeare Company is certainly groundbreaking. Ms. Gwendolyn Davies occupies a massive puppet to embody the moves of Othello, here cast as a sole Rossite in a world of humans. Mr. Marcus Hull provides a live voice from off-stage.

However some have criticized the performance as failing to really engage with real Rossite texts already available, instead merely inserting them into a human narrative. Others have said that treating a traditionally black role as interchangeable with an alien is problematic at best. Some traditionalists have claimed that neither Davies nor Hull are ‘really’ acting, despite praise elsewhere.

Others, however, have found the show illuminating…”
- The Times, July 15, 2067

“What does a day in the life of a Rossite look like?”
- Science, July 28, 2067

“Rossite Family Values”
- Des Moines Register, July 30, 2067

“Rossites lack a direct concept of a nuclear family in any human sense. However traditionally they maintain kinship ties with extended family. Such groups seem to be the traditional organizing structure in Rossite society, with land being held by these kinships, who traditionally share professions. Groups of these families, when living in the cities or specializing in a certain trade, might form into even larger guilds. We have termed these kinship groups after the ayllus of traditional Andean life. There are, however, some key differences…”
- Paper presented to the Association for Sociology, Anthropology, and Politics,, August 4, 2067

“Why Rossite Guilds survived and Human Guilds did not.”
- The Economist, August 10, 2067

“Lord Mayor of London: Guilds are only ‘closest approximation,’ not literally the same thing”
- The Times, August 15, 2067

“Rossite Model of Oligarchic Kingship”
- International Society for Rossite History, August 21, 2067

“Ok, but seriously, what is Singularism?”
- Vice, August 17, 2067

“Industrialization Bred Communism on Earth, Singularism on Ross”
- Wall Street Journal, August 26, 2067

“There appear to be two primary factors that informed Admirable Caulker, considered the progenitor of Singularism. First is a general philosophical trend towards thinking about the individual, not the ayllu or guild, as the central factor of one’s life. Then came the upheavals of the Rossite industrial revolution, which shattered traditional ways of life. Caulker, who was a Clerk by trade, became convinced that the individual was not being adequately protected by the traditional structures of Rossite life…”
- George Washington University Lecture, September 1, 2067

“Who, or what, then shall be the guarantor of individual, singular, liberty, safety, and prosperity?”
- Admirable Caulker, On the Singular, c. 1820

“Several strains of Singularism Identified”
- Des Moines Register, September 14, 2067

“…it is the government of the nation as a whole, who must defend the individual.”
- Swift Pewtersmith, One Person, One Nation, c. 1840

“Bonds of blood and tradition have failed us. But bonds of choice may yet give us liberty.”
- Short Sower, On Association, c. 1842

“Only the Individual can protect the Individual.”
Bright Shepard, What Is A Person To Do?, c. 1843

“By applying pressure within traditional ayllus and guilds and in other preexisting structures, the rights of the individual can be protected without completely overturning the social order.”
- Strong Trader, Reform, c. 1850

“Singularism is not universal among Rossites, has changed over time”
- Washington Post, September 20, 2067

“Humans often ask what ideology the Southern Hegemony follows. The Answer is Yes. And No.”
- Hegemony Master Lucky Brewer, 2108

“Islanders Reject Singularism”
- Chicago Tribune, September 25, 2067

“what is up with these island dudes”
Internet Commentator FriggFan, September 25, 2067

“Can Humans ever really ‘get’ Singularism?”
- Vice, September 30, 2067

“‘Yeah I’m an Internalist’, says man who has neither guild nor ayllu to internally change”
- The Onion, October 5, 2067

“Singularist Party wins seat in Parliament”
- De Telegraaf, October 28, 2067

“Terry Pratchett once said:

‘J.R.R. Tolkien has become a sort of mountain, appearing in all subsequent fantasy in the way that Mt. Fuji appears so often in Japanese prints. Sometimes it’s big and up close. Sometimes it’s a shape on the horizon. Sometimes it’s not there at all, which means that the artist either has made a deliberate decision against the mountain, which is interesting in itself, or is in fact standing on Mt. Fuji.’

I think Singularism is Mt. Fuji for the Rossites. And we’re just kind of blundering in like Commodore Perry."
- Internet Commentator DreamALittleDream, November 3, 2067



“2068: The Year We Make Contact”
- TIME, January 1, 2068

“The Mercury Quadrille: Who Gets a Visit First?”
- Le Monde, January 7, 2068

“ESA, NASA Heads meet with President and European Leaders to figure out ‘First Contact Team”
- Washington Post, January 17, 2068

“The Greatwhale: The First Interstellar Vessel for Either of Us”
- Des Moines Register, January 22, 2068

“Split in the South? South Africa complains of Indo-Brazilian Dominance”
- Washington Post, January 30, 2068

“Chinese Premier outlines 5 point plan for talking with Rossites”
- Los Angeles Times, February 8, 2068

“Russian Cosmonaut Shortage Continues”
- Des Moines Register, February 9, 2068

“What do the Rossites know?”
- Panel Title at the Center for Rossite Relations and Studies, February 18, 2068

“DEAL IN DURBAN: Southern Powers renegotiate Space deal”
- Mail & Guardian, February 23, 2068

“An Incomplete Record of all Transmissions from Earth of Ross 128b”
- TIME Website, February 27, 2068

“By your calendar it should be Leap Day when you receive this message. We do not know if this is a time of jubilation or a time of solemn contemplation. So we will simply wish all of humanity the best for this rare observance.”
- Rossite Transmission, Received February 29, 2068

“Aright, so the wires got crossed there a bit”
- NASA Director, February 29, 2068

“First Contact Specialist Team arrives at Caduceus Base

The three person team is led by American Mark Gates, who has been working with NASA since the 2030s. He will be overall in control of procedures, contact and observations. Xenolingust Shiro Rei of Japan, a third, oft forgotten partner of the NASA-ESA bloc, will help with communication. Xenobiologist Ryder Clyde rounds out the group. A Stanford Graduate and NASA employee, they will work to ensure areas of Caduceus are habitable for Rossites, and to avoid contamination of either humans or Rossites with foreign substances or diseases.”
- Des Moines Register, March 5, 2068

“Where is the Greatwhale?”
- Washington Post, March 6, 2068

“We saw their probes over a year before they arrived, so why haven’t we seen their spaceship?”
TIME, March 9, 2068

“Has disaster befallen the Greatwhale?”
- Chicago Tribune, March 18, 2068

“The Decades Long Alien Hoax Is Almost Up”
- RossitesArentReal.com, March 23, 2068

“Greatwhale Detected!

An observatory in New Guinea, affiliated with the Southern Space Powers, has detected what is believed to be the Rossite Starship Greatwhale. The observatory reports that some unexpected, but ultimately harmless, solar radiation interfered with observation attempts. The Greatwhale is still on schedule for an early July arrival, according to these observations.”
- The Times of India, March 29, 2068

“The Protocol of First Contact”
- Vice, April 2, 2068

“Mumbai prepares to host Olympics”
- The Times of India, April 4, 2068

“In one area of literary development, Rossite and Humans showed remarkable convergence. Both had written about, and at times feared, alien invasions. Even in peaceful scenarios their home was the one being contacted, rather than arriving at another world. As such it could be argued that humanity held an advantage in playing the role they had long envisioned for themselves. Although it could be argued it could have been a pitfall as well…”
- Contact: As They Knew It, 2105

“How much defense will the first contact team need?”
- Chicago Tribune, April 7 2068

“HOW THE ROSSITE ENGINE COULD WIPE OUT ALL LIFE ON EARTH”
- Yonkers Daily News, April 10, 2068

“How long do you think we could fool them with the Vulcan Salute? Like we tried to tell them it was a regular human thing.”

“Wasn’t Star Trek one of the first things we sent over?”

“To Ross proper yeah but I don’t think the Greatwhale has it.”

“Hmmm…on one hand lying isn’t the best way to start a new relationship. On the other hand, it would be the funniest thing ever to happen.”
- Internet Commentators FreePulp and MultiBeagle, April 12, 2068

“Protestors attack ‘wasteful NASA spending’ on tax day”
- Washington Post, April 15, 2068

“Possible landing places for Rossite visitors

The area will likely need to be away from major cities and able to be secured. However it will also need to have buildings able to handle Rossite conditions, as well as open space for possible Rossite constructions.”
- Science, April 19, 2068

“Spontaneous ‘Welcome Committees’ spring up around the World.”
- Des Moines Register, April 22, 2068

“What Makes Jacksonville Special”
Jacksonville Welcome Committee publication, April 25, 2068

“COME SEE THE QUEEN CITY”
Cincinnati Rossite Welcoming Fund publication, April 26, 2068

“THE ETERNAL CITY”
Rome Welcoming Committee, April 28, 2068

“A Swell Place”
Welcome Committee of Ashtabula, April 30, 2068

“Attempts to Unify Minneapolis and St. Paul Committees fail”
- Star-Tribune, May 2, 2068

“Big Local money behind Welcoming Committee
‘It’s like a chance to make up for the failed Olympic bid’ says source.”
- The Denver Post, May 4, 2068

“EU, American, diplomats arrive at Caduceus station

Robert Tyler III, former Ambassador to Russia, Special Envoy to the Arabian Peninsula, and Advisor to the President will be representing the United States. Donnchadh Sullivan was previously a lawyer at the International Court of Justice, as well a Foreign Minister of Ireland.”
- Des Moines Register, May 5, 2068

"Chinese welcoming committees not particularly spontaneous"
- Salt Lake Tribune, May 8, 2068.

"Largest Rossite Cults"
- Des Moines Register, May 15, 2068

"Opinion: Threatened Lawsuits an attack on freedom of the press"
- Des Moines Register, May 17, 2068

“FBI on high alert for cult activity”
- Des Moines Register, May 18, 2068

“‘No one wants another Heaven’s Gate,’ says FBI Head”
- Washington Post, May 21, 2068

“what do you think Rossite Human cults are about”
- Internet Commentator SulpGhito, May 25, 2068

“Semi-Regular Contact with Greatwhale established”
- Des Moines Register, June 1, 2068

“Who Goes First?”
- Vice, June 9, 2068

“NASA and ESA Announce that the Joint Caduceus Committee will take lead during contact.”
- Washington Post, June 12, 2068

“Astronauts and Engineers and Scientists and Diplomats Oh My!”
- Vice, June 18, 2068

“Although Diplomatic authority remains vested in Ambassador Tyler, leadership of First Contact will remain in the able hands of Station Commander Tyrone Banks.”
- NASA Statement, June 21, 2068

“The people mad about Banks are exactly the people you think would be mad”
- Vice, June 26, 2068

“Committee First, then the rest of the Crew”
- Caduceus Station Message, June 29, 2068

“China Appoints Du Jia to head First Contact”
- Washington Post, June 30, 2068

“Untilov Ruslan Russian Representative”
- The Times, July 1, 2068

“Ong Keon Zhen of Singapore to head Southern Alliance Contact”
- Des Moines Register, July 5, 2068

“The Rossites, based on their own experience and composition, were not entirely surprised to see there were multiple human nations. But they were not expecting four sets of messages to bombard them. Each was polite, but insistent, that they be allowed first First Contact. The Commander had their first major decision to make…”
- Contact: As They Knew It, 2105

“ROSSITES ARRIVE AT MERCURY”
- Des Moines Register, July 7, 2068

 

[Blackentheborg]

snip​

please inject this shit into my veins

 

[SpudNutimus]

snip

This. This is some premium gourmet shit right here.

 

[CanadianTory]

 

[Callan]

Choose Your Canada

Towards the end of 2005, Paul Martin's situation looked bleak. The Liberals were disunited and down in the polls; the Gomery inquiry would soon report and have little good to say about the government. The opposition smelled blood. In a last roll of the dice, Martin went on the airwaves, announcing that an election would be called for April 2006, after the Gomery Inquiry reported. Enough time for the public to digest and render their verdict on the Liberal Party's (but mainly the Chrétien Government's) sins.

And the opposition parties blinked. Or at least one of them did. Jack Layton gave the Liberals a stay of execution and all the parties got a three months head start on preparing for an election.

When John Gomery produced his final report on the Sponsorship Scandal in the February of 2006, it was anticlimactic. Paul Martin himself was largely exonerated, and the final report focused largely recommendations to reform the civil service. There were cries of bias from the opposition parties, but after spending so long attacking the government over the scandal they largely fell flat. And relitigating the largely resolved scandal was not much of an option for the opposition parties when Paul Martin called an election for April 11th, 2006.

With four months of preparation and some genuine policy accomplishments behind the Martin Ministry in the form of the Childcare Agreement and Kelowna Accords, this election was held far more on Paul Martin's terms than his first election two years earlier. Meanwhile the Conservatives struggled, between their anti-corruption talking points falling flat (Harper accusing the Liberals of stealing his proposals for an Accountability Act for the civil service) and several candidates making headlines for racist and homophobic statements which the Tory leader was not exactly quick to condemn. The Liberals quickly opened up a wide lead, and by election night the question was merely whether or not the Liberals would win back their majority.

Spoiler: map

While the CBC did not call a majority for the Liberals until well after midnight EST (with several close results in British Columbia), there were several other surprises for all the parties. The Conservatives fell backwards slightly in Ontario and British Columbia between poor candidates and the New Democrats being squeezed by the Liberals, while making a surprise breakthrough in Quebec. The even bigger surprise was for the New Democrats, where Liberal Minister Jean LaPierre was defeated by the New Democrats' Léo-Paul Lauzon in a tight three-way race. All New Democrats celebrated their win, but many Liberal MPs did not mourn that particular loss.

Stephen Harper announced his resignation on election night, noting that with the party's Quebec breakthrough the Conservatives could consider themselves to be a truly national party. He insisted to the party faithful and his young party that "our time will come". The next day, Jean Chrétien announced that he would be going to Federal Court to invalidate the Gomery Inquiry and clear his name. Many a Conservative noted the fortunate timing of this announcement.

 

[Callan]

Jean Charest, theoretically, should have cruised to re-election in 2007. The previous year's federal result showed that the sovereigntist movement was in retreat in Quebec, and the Parti Québécois was lurching aimlessly from scandal to controversy to gaffe. A half-hearted effort to putsch André Boisclair, allegedly plotted by his predecessor as PQ leader, only further undermined the party that had nearly led Quebec to independence a decade previously.

But in doing so the Liberals underestimated their other, less polarising opponents. Action démocratique du Québec had also recieved a boost from the 2006 federal election with the Tory breakthrough in Quebec; all five Tory MPs were former ADQ candidates and their wins proved that conservatism had a true constituency in the province. While the Liberals appeared far ahead in the polls when Charest called an election in February, the ADQ quickly surged in the polls. A string of controversies in Liberal government (culminating in the very public resignation of Thomas Mulcair) combined with a strong debate performance for Mario Dumont led to panic and meltdown in Quebec's two established parties of government. Neither party was able to come up with a coherent attack line by election day, by which time the PQ were in third and the Liberals were tied with the ADQ for first place.

Spoiler: Map

Perhaps the biggest surprise - and the worst omen for the Parti Québécois - were the two surprise victories of Quebec Solidaire's co-leaders, both winning tight races on Montreal Island. Quebec Solidaire had barely existed for a year and their predecessor movements had garnered 1% of the vote in 2003. Their surge was not picked up in most polls, but it would cause almost as many political reverberations as the ADQ's victory.

Choose Your Canada
2006 Canadian Federal Election

 

[Kaddeus]

THE RAEGIME HAS BEGUN
DO NOT FEAR, RAENIACS ARE IN CONTROL

​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

DO NOT FEAR, RAENIACS ARE IN CONTROL

long live the raegent
i'll see myself out

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————


Images taken moments before disaster
(see: my shit on the Other Place)​

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

Images taken moments before disaster
(see: my shit on the Other Place)​

There's a reason I said "before disaster".

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[Callan]

Choose Your Canada

During the 2006 election campaign, one story damaged and embarrassed Stephen Harper’s campaign repeatedly: the ponderings of his likely successor. It was reported by multiple newspapers and the CBC that former Ontario Finance Minister and CPC star candidate Jim Flaherty was taking soundings and recruiting staff for a future run for the leadership of the Conservative Party before Harper had even lost the election.

It was obvious why. Jim Flaherty had experience (the tough-talking Finance Minister under Mike Harris), credibility with both the Reform and Progressive Conservative wings of the party (the law & order candidate in two successive leadership elections for the Ontario PCs) and electability, having easily won his suburban Ontario seat in an election where the Tories' overall performance in the province was disastrous. No-one was surprised to see him announce a run for the Conservative leadership, and no-one was surprised to see almost all the other rumoured candidates - Jim Prentice, Peter MacKay, Brian Pallister, Larry Smith - stay out of the race. There were complaints about a coronation from both ends of the party, but the quality of his opponents showed how serious those complaints were.

Representing the Reform wing and the religious right was Frank Klees, Ontario MPP and former cabinet colleague of Flaherty. He campaigned as the "True Tory" candidate, promising to sweep back the social liberalism of Chrétien and Liberal governments, give "opt-outs" to businesses and public servants who had religious objections to abortion and gay rights and move towards a two-tier healthcare system. With his support geographically spread out across the country, he was never a serious contender and was seen to help the Flaherty campaign, allowing him to establish himself as a more centrist and conciliatory figure while giving him a useful bank of second-preference votes if the race went to a second round.

The quixotic candidacy of Josée Verner garnered more interest from the media. As the only woman and only Quebecker in the contest, she was something of a novelty, one of the Tories' surprise breakthroughs in the second-largest province. She had benefitted from Stephen Harper's patronage, having been appointed to the shadow cabinet before she even became an MP. Running as a moderate and a moderniser, she gained support from the remaining Red Tories left in the CPC, but this support only marginalised her as much as Klees.

Then, in Spring of 2007, Mario Dumont became premier of Quebec. There was suddenly a flurry of interest in Verner; she was not only an early symbol of Dumont's victory (that the conservatism could win in Quebec), but she had been a member of the Action démocratique herself. Perhaps she could make a similar breakthrough at a federal level. Her polling surged, as did Quebeckers buying Conservative memberships. But Verner herself was unprepared for serious contention. There were several notable gaffes and u-turns, most notably and symbolically when in a televised debate she confused statistics on Albertan oil revenues. Her poll ratings sunk as quickly as they had risen and Flaherty's coronation succeeded uninterrupted.

Most Tory members and MPs were agreed: their party needed a winner.

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While the Conservatives chose a new leader, Paul Martin didn't exactly do much with his majority. With signature achievements on universal childcare and indigenous relations completed, he used the optimistic fiscal situation to increase social spending (though not as much as many his party would've liked) and increasingly delegated domestic policy to his cabinet. While he had dramatically thinned out the ranks of his party during the first year of his leadership, with many former rivals and opponents being fired from cabinet, leaving politics or losing renomination races, the 2006 election saw the ranks replenished with several successful star candidates, with novice MPs like Michael Ignatieff and Glen Murray immediately promoted to high-profile positions.

The resignation of British Columbian cabinet minister and Vancouver-area MP Stephen Owen to take up an academic post was another opportunity for a replenishment of talent. Martin personally recruited the former Deputy Premier of British Columbia, a figure who was often the centre of controversy in Gordon Campbell's government but undeniably a strong and unrepentant personality. The choice of star candidacy caused controversy both in British Columbia and the left of the party, especially as Martin announced an early by-election date to catch the new Leader of the Opposition off-guard.

The campaign proved to be unexpectedly competitive. That autumn, Jean Chrétien's lawsuit against the Gomery Commission finally made it to the courts, reminding voters of everything they disliked about the Liberals. But Clark ran a vigorous campaign, attacking the Conservative candidate as "second rate and second place" and defending the mixed record of the Martin government. While the final margin was unexpectedly tight, the Liberals were more than happy to deny Jim Flaherty an early win.

Paul Martin was especially pleased, almost immediately promoting Clark to cabinet. Having put together what he believed would make a strong field of successors, he set about plans to retire the next year to take up a position leading an international organisation. The International Monetary Fund was constantly mentioned. But he would have to see if the global economic situation stablised in 2008 first.

Choose Your Canada
2006 Canadian Federal Election
2007 Quebec General Election

 

[gentleman biaggi]

long live the raegent
i'll see myself out

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View attachment 58653View attachment 58654
Images taken moments before disaster
(see: my shit on the Other Place)​

imagining mormons voting for a party called “F.U.C.K.” lmao

 

[allthepresidentsmen]

imagining mormons voting for a party called “F.U.C.K.” lmao

Gotta admit that was just 10% of my motivation

 

[Meppo]

Brothers and sisters, we have just prayed to the Virgin Mary. This week, the city that bears her name, Mariupol, has become a city martyred by the heartbreaking war that is devastating Ukraine. Faced with the barbarity of the killing of children, and of innocent and defenceless citizens, there are no strategic reasons that hold up: the only thing to be done is to cease the unacceptable armed aggression before the city is reduced to a cemetery. With an aching heart I add my voice to that of the common people, who implore the end of the war. “In the name of God, let the cries of those who suffer be heard and let the bombings and attacks cease! Let there be a real and decisive focus on negotiation, and let the humanitarian corridors be effective and safe. In the name of God, I ask you: stop this massacre!”

 

[Gladwyn Merrick]

”We shall fight and crush these Ukrainian separatists. The Soviet Union must endure.”
General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev, 2022


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[Blackentheborg]

Finally got around to this

Farage joined the Conservative Party in 1978, but voted for the Green Party in 1989 because of what he saw as their then "sensible" and Eurosceptic policies. [32] He left the Conservatives in 1992 in protest at Prime Minister John Major's government's signing of the Treaty on European Union at Maastricht. [34][35]

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