- Location
- Visiting BWBs.
This month's vignette is from @Stateless and came from the the 62nd challenge.
Discuss the vignette Here.
Discuss the vignette Here.
-
Hi Guest!
The costs of running this forum are covered by Sea Lion Press. If you'd like to help support the company and the forum, visit patreon.com/sealionpress
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Monthly Vignette: Some Corner of a Foreign Field
- Thread starter David Flin
- Start date
As a commentary on this:
This had a few false starts. The first idea was essentially a future history idea that I don't think would have worked for this contest, but would work as a Larger Thing that I do intend to finish, once I finish other things.
My second idea was closer to this, but rather than Duke William's being wrecked off the coast of Sussex, it would have been Christopher Columbus washing up on the shores of the Bahamas. The main challenge I faced was writing about Taíno funerary practices, which are (as far as I could tell from my research) speculatory, rather than definitely known, and I felt it was an idea I was not best-equipped to write.
That caused me to adapt the idea to cover something closer to home - the Norman Conquest of 1066. In our timeline William delayed his invasion because of imperfect weather conditions. This supposes that either the delay doesn't happen, or if it does that the Normans are surprised by a sudden storm and wrecked in sight of the coast, leading to the invaders to lose their lives. I had thought of this as being recorded in the Chronicles as a 'divine wind', and I'm kicking myself that having thought of this parallel I didn't write it down (or do more with it).
Originally I had a version of this which went hard for Anglisc and talked about Eorl Willelm and the Heretoge of Normandig, but I found it too alienating and I was the one writing it. The only real remainder of that is Duke William being called 'Earl William', as the title 'Duke' doesn't exist for this timeline's Dr Blake.
Initially I wasn't happy with the cut to modern day. I still find the local history lecture too expositionary and doing too much telling rather than showing. The original transition was a cut from the bodies being buried to their being uncovered, but I couldn't make it work, so instead I ended up with the local history lecture on the subject of the dig, which is a bit of a cop out.
By 2023 England has superficially converged with that of our timeline. I felt that, while the route to arrive there would have been different, by the 21st century and Dr Blake's talk to the town's history society England is superficially very similar to that of our own timeline: "long shadows on county grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers and, as George Orwell said, 'Old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist'", to borrow from John Major (though probably not Shakespeare being taught in schools).
If I were to rewrite or expand on this, I would have the bodies rediscovered at additional points throughout history - say, the building of the 14th century church and a couple of others, in addition to the archaeological dig - and use those as snapshots to check in on how history has diverged. Something to consider.
If you enjoyed this (or if you didn't enjoy this) and hadn't read it already, please read @Lilitou's entry: Inauguration, Coronation, Demonstration, which won the 62nd vignette contest.
This had a few false starts. The first idea was essentially a future history idea that I don't think would have worked for this contest, but would work as a Larger Thing that I do intend to finish, once I finish other things.
My second idea was closer to this, but rather than Duke William's being wrecked off the coast of Sussex, it would have been Christopher Columbus washing up on the shores of the Bahamas. The main challenge I faced was writing about Taíno funerary practices, which are (as far as I could tell from my research) speculatory, rather than definitely known, and I felt it was an idea I was not best-equipped to write.
That caused me to adapt the idea to cover something closer to home - the Norman Conquest of 1066. In our timeline William delayed his invasion because of imperfect weather conditions. This supposes that either the delay doesn't happen, or if it does that the Normans are surprised by a sudden storm and wrecked in sight of the coast, leading to the invaders to lose their lives. I had thought of this as being recorded in the Chronicles as a 'divine wind', and I'm kicking myself that having thought of this parallel I didn't write it down (or do more with it).
Originally I had a version of this which went hard for Anglisc and talked about Eorl Willelm and the Heretoge of Normandig, but I found it too alienating and I was the one writing it. The only real remainder of that is Duke William being called 'Earl William', as the title 'Duke' doesn't exist for this timeline's Dr Blake.
Initially I wasn't happy with the cut to modern day. I still find the local history lecture too expositionary and doing too much telling rather than showing. The original transition was a cut from the bodies being buried to their being uncovered, but I couldn't make it work, so instead I ended up with the local history lecture on the subject of the dig, which is a bit of a cop out.
By 2023 England has superficially converged with that of our timeline. I felt that, while the route to arrive there would have been different, by the 21st century and Dr Blake's talk to the town's history society England is superficially very similar to that of our own timeline: "long shadows on county grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers and, as George Orwell said, 'Old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist'", to borrow from John Major (though probably not Shakespeare being taught in schools).
If I were to rewrite or expand on this, I would have the bodies rediscovered at additional points throughout history - say, the building of the 14th century church and a couple of others, in addition to the archaeological dig - and use those as snapshots to check in on how history has diverged. Something to consider.
If you enjoyed this (or if you didn't enjoy this) and hadn't read it already, please read @Lilitou's entry: Inauguration, Coronation, Demonstration, which won the 62nd vignette contest.
d_greenfield
New member
A great vignette Just long enough to read while cooking tea (while not burning it) and a nice twist at the end. Nice contrast Between the humanity if the priest and the dry explanation of the professor and its left to us to wonder about the impact of the storm of 1066
- Location
- Visiting BWBs.
I have to say (putting aside my editorial hat and donning my reader's hat), I found it intriguing enough to wonder about how this world developed.
It felt like the introduction to a longer work set in the Professor's world, and one that I would find the introduction sufficient to make me want to read on.
It felt like the introduction to a longer work set in the Professor's world, and one that I would find the introduction sufficient to make me want to read on.