• Hi Guest!

    The costs of running this forum are covered by Sea Lion Press. If you'd like to help support the company and the forum, visit patreon.com/sealionpress

Least favorite alt-history story?

Space Oddity

Yes, It's Me Again. Plain To See Again.
And one-twelfth of a popular Christmas song.

Although if we're talking weird surnames, I think HR departments have even celebrities beat. I've had a meeting with two reps from a company's HR department whose surnames were (I shit you not) Window and Sill.
The city attorney of my hometown is surnamed 'Slye'.

His former partner is 'Burrows'.

Yes, these are literally names you would give fictional attorneys as a joke, and would be rightly pilloried for doing so.
 

Archibald

Well-known member
Patreon supporter
Surely enough in France is a Doctor called "Bonnemort" - would you accept to be cared by a physician with the name of "have-a-good-death" ?

And well, Jean Marie Le Pen daughter (not Marine but her elder sister) married a man with the name of Maréchal (as in Maréchal Pétain, LMAO).

And since Vichy France anthem was "Maréchal, nous voilà" (Maréchal, here we come to you) imagine Le Pen in a crowded railway station searching for his stepson and shouting, his right arm raised (of course) "Hé, Maréchal, nous voilà !" ROTFL

There is also a trademark of canned food in France called William Saurin. Well, during a summer part time job spent checking tax returns sheets, I FOUND HIM. William Saurin, of all names. With my colleague we actually ran a contest for the silliest names we could find and laughed our arses off. I remember I found many Renard (foxes) and, more disturbingly, some Chevreuil (deers !). Those people ought not crossing a forrest in autmn or when Elmer Fudd is around...
 
Last edited:

Archibald

Well-known member
Patreon supporter
One of my "guilty pleasure" favorite internet pages. Most stupid / unfortunate French names, ever.

http://www.geopatronyme.com/cdip/insolite/malsonnants.html

OMFG I found my (aptly named) math teacher there ! http://www.geopatronyme.com/nomcarte/BAISECOURT

Imagine... you have for three entire years a math teacher that is, by himself, an insult to the job of teacher, the worst of his kind. Stubborn, bad faith, racist, guaranted 100% of a bastard.

His name ? "Monsieur Baisecourt".
Baise = fuck.
Court = short / fast / brief

"Hello, I'm your math teacher, and my name is M. Fastfucker"

Can you believe that ?

This sounds straight out of one of these creepy Ben Stiller movies with De Niro, but unfortunately I can assure the man is unfortunately, very real.
 
Last edited:

Archibald

Well-known member
Patreon supporter
More recently when working at the Archives service of a large city, the Director (a woman) was called Vatican. Unbelievable. I searched on this website, she is the one and only. Even more astonishingly, at the bottom end of the service was the janitor whose name was Leprêtre, which translates as "The priest".

so much for France obsession with laicity ! We had a pope and a priest, LMAO.

A long time ago was an athlet with the name of Charles Trouabal, which sounds like "trou de balle" - bullet hole, but also "ass hole". He was from Martinique and aparently his name was a relic from slavery, where black orphans were given humiliating names on purpose.

There is also the astonishing case of that french basketball player with the name of Gelabal, which exactly sounds like "J'ai la balle" = "I got the ball ! I got the ball !"
Imagine the airplane-like Over / Roger situation on the playground
"A toi, Gelabal !"
"Quoi ?"
"Non, pas toi, j'ai la balle !"
"Hein ?"

https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickaël_Gelabale
 

Sulemain

Raise Your Fist, 95th!
Location
Coventry
Yeah, it gets worse when it's revealed that a few nukes do fly, but not many and too late to change anything.

Because that is why the USSR stockpiled the damn things. To not use them when they were needed in an existential struggle.
For me it was when the Soviet Union was invaded by NATO(!) with the West Germans led by a "redeemed" Nazi(!!) and the Soviets didn't use nuclear weapons (!!!).

Actually, at points the TL reminded me not so much of a Neo-Nazi Wank (which it very much was and is) but a weirdly meta TL whose basis was "what if the West was exactly the bunch of fascists the most unsubtle Soviet propaganda said it was".
 

Space Oddity

Yes, It's Me Again. Plain To See Again.
I've never read it so I like hearing funny details.
They're funny in isolation. Taken as a whole, they form a 500lb gorilla that sits on the reader.

Especially with that damn awful writing style. I can't emphasize its badness enough. It's like reading a technical manual that was originally written in another language and has gotten a lifeless, occasionally wonky translation.
 

Burton K Wheeler

Itinerant Frontier Hobo
Location
garbage can
They're funny in isolation. Taken as a whole, they form a 500lb gorilla that sits on the reader.

Especially with that damn awful writing style. I can't emphasize its badness enough. It's like reading a technical manual that was originally written in another language and has gotten a lifeless, occasionally wonky translation.
I refuse to read any timeline that includes wikiboxes.