Hm. It's nicely written and all that, and it captures a lot of the spirit of the books.
But it's not something GMF would ever have written. The problem can be encapsulated in this phrase in the text:
But I found that I couldn’t shrug, not with the boy in front of me no more than ten years old and his late sister no doubt even younger. And this was an injury we had caused, rather than the normal vicissitudes of life for those unfortunate enough to be born wogs. It was… unnecessary, a waste.
Nope. GMF would never have written that. To quote from Page 158 of The Sign's on at Signpost:
I believe that the case for the British Empire as one of the best things to happen to an undeserving world is proved, open and shut.... no other country did half as much to spread freedom, law, good government and democratic principle around the globe; as a civilising force, Britain and its Empire were unique, and if proof is required one need only compare the state of imperial lands when they were under the Union flag, with their present condition. At best, as in India and many smaller, usually insular, territories where British influence lingers most strongly, the peoples are no better governed than they were, to say the least; at worst, independence (laughably called freedom) has been a ghastly tragedy, as in those African countries which have been transformed from prosperous, law-abiding colonies into bankrupt bloody dictatorships...
So, no. I don't accept that a character who is such a mouthpiece of GMF would consider accepting that the British Empire was specifically at fault. Not even with evidence standing in front of him.