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the zaffre zone: title cards, joaos, and other oddities

A Different Verse In The Song

King on the Iron Throne: Stannis Baratheon. (2)
  • His Queen: Lyanna Stark. (5)
Great Houses
Lord of the Vale: Elbert Arryn. (1)
Lord of the North: Rickard Stark. (6)
Lord of the Riverlands: Edmure Tully. (7)
Lord of the Westerlands: Tywin Lannister. (3)
Lord of Reach: Mace Tyrell.
Lord of the Stormlands: Renly Baratheon. (8)
Prince of Dorne: Doran Martell. (5)
Lord of the Iron Islands: Quellon Greyjoy. (9)
Lord of Dragonstone: Robert Baratheon.

The Small Council
Hand of the King: Rickard Stark.
Master of Coin: Kevan Lannister.
Master of Laws: Tytos Blackwood.
Master of Ships: Glendon Hewett. (10)
Master of Whispers: Howland Reed (11)
Grand Maester: Helliweg.

Kingsguard
Lord Commander: Ser Jonothor Darry
Ser Jaime Lannister
Ser Eddard Stark (12)
Ser Richard Horpe
Ser Guyard Morrigen
Ser Preston Greenfield
Ser Waymar Royce (13)

---

(1) Before poor, doomed Denys Arryn rode out to rescue his wife – even before Mary Arryn cursed the fact that she had Blackwood blood in her veins – changes had already begun winging their way across Westeros. No Starks were at Harrenhal, to joust or laugh or cry. Two lords quarreled over a marriage pact. A crow flew that had never flown before. But for Elbert Arryn (and the rest of Westeros) it all began in 283 AC when Rhaegar Targaryen, Prince of Dragonstone, abducted his cousin.

He stayed in the Vale, at first, for someone had to. Denys Arryn, Robert Baratheon, Eddard Stark, Andar Royce and even Robert’s squire all rode to Kings’ Landing, brave boys who thought they could simply ask the King and make the problem go away. But Denys’ pointed comment that his wife belonged to no prince reminded the King of another prince, and another wife.

They went to the dungeons and Jon Arryn, parent to none of them, rode to dispute the charges anyway. He was answered with fire. Denys burned, Andar burned, Justin burned, and Robert strangled, warhammer almost in reach, as he saw a second father die in front of him.

The Stark boy alone survived, feverish and in chains, for Aerys was just canny enough to recognize a good hostage when he saw one. So Rickard Stark and Hoster Tully massed troops and sat, quiet, as Elbert Arryn let slip the dogs of war.

(2) He was not alone. Stannis Baratheon might not have loved his brother, or even liked him. He might not even have fought for Robert, had the issue solely been the honor of Mary Arryn – for what was she to the Baratheons? But he was his lord. His brother. And Aerys had killed him. Stannis gathered the might of the Stormlands around himself, as best he could – three disloyal lords lost their heads – and planned to kill a dragon.

He needed the Vale, for that. Some of Elbert Arryn’s forces got to him by ship, but not enough, and not all – for Jon Connington and the royal navy won the day at the Battle of Wickendon, and with Hoster Tully still on the fence, the Vale was stuck.

So Aerys himself, in a rare outgoing moment, decided to take charge of the army and snuff out the Rebellion once and for all. He met Stannis in the Kingswood and beat him, handily. But Stannis retreated in good order, and among his fleeing host was a certain member of the Kingsguard, blonde and young, who had not been very hard to capture at all.

(3) The letter noted that Jaime had ridden so very far out in front, surrendered almost immediately, and was now in the service of the rightful king, Stannis – and Tywin almost smiled. The ghost of a grin lingered on his face as he jotted down some notes on potential marriages.

Aerys himself was furious beyond belief. Myles Mooton and Grandmaester Pycelle burned, on makeshift pyres, as the King shouted at shadows and waited for the Tyrells to arrive. And then he marched to destroy Stannis once and for all, with an army one-hundred thousand strong.

Stannis had little over a third that, arranged in makeshift defenses on the south side of the Wendwater, held together by little more than grit and sweat. And him. They made the crossing bloody for Aerys, as bloody as they could. But his army was vast and, after Mooton and Pycelle, terrified to lose. They were half over the Wendwater – close to encircling the Stormlanders – when Tywin’s army smashed into their rear.

Aerys himself, leading from behind, in the blink of an eye was surrounded by Lorch, Payne, Clegane – and Tywin. It was Tywin, alone, who killed him, who carved him limb from limb and whispered “Joanna” at the end.

But then he reeled in his saddle, bleeding, and Randyll Tarly took his third of the royal army and with one last defiant charge, broke through Lannister lines and went north, back to King’s Landing. Rhaegar rode in the next day, madness in his eyes.

(4) Stannis and Tywin had won, but not by enough, for Randyll Tarly’s army was still mighty enough to defeat any attempt to storm King’s Landing and with Rhaegar’s return the royalists had – finally – begun to see a path to victory.

Their luck seemed to increase even more, for Rickard Stark and Hoster Tully arrived as well, with a mighty host, and Rickard – mildly – asked that they might join with the army of the new King and see his son released. The royal army sallied out from King’s Landing, finally confident of victory over Stannis. Barristan Selmy himself delivered Ned, blinking in the sunlight, back to his father.

And then the northmen and riverlanders butchered the royal army to the last man.

(5) “What would you have, my lord?” Stannis said with something less than a smile, as Rickard the Reaper rode out to meet him. “What your brother promised,” was all he said, as Kings' Landing fell behind them.

(6) Rhaegar did not rant, or rave, or try to flee. He simply gathered his family in the throne room and whispered “the dragon shall have three heads”, whispered it over and over until Lewyn Martell drove a sword through his throat and fled with Elia and her children.

Rhaegar’s own mother, brother and sister were not so lucky – Theo Wull bashed Rhaella’s skull in, Jeffory Mallister slit Viserys’ throat, and the little girl, a slip of a thing, was stabbed by a non-too-principled lord from Bear Island. Once was enough.

Lewyn, Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys fled to Dragonstone, and from there to Essos, and – for now – Stannis and Doran are willing to pretend that they will remain there.

(7) Hoster was one of the last lords to die – a stray arrow in the eye as he took the city. Edmure’s reign has been by turns troubled and challenging, but he is learning.

(8) Renly likes his brother much, his black-haired nieces, Cassana and Alyssa, a bit less, and his black-haired nephew, Prince Robert Baratheon of Dragonstone, not at all.

(9) The Old Kraken does little these days besides lie in his bed and try not to dream.

(10) No Onion Knight ever sailed to relieve Storm’s End – but Glendon Hewett is able, a second son without prospects, and the closest Stannis is willing to come to appeasing the Reach. A certain smuggler did end up sneaking past the Ironborn into the Mander, useful as ever, and is being taught his letters by Willas Tyrell – but that is a story for another time.

(11) Lord Reed serves only at the insistence of the Queen, and the Hand of the King, and of a member of the Kingsguard. But Stannis himself is none to keen to lose the small, quiet man, for in the wake of the (disastrous) attempt to send Varys to the wall, Reed alone seems to have his own little birds.

(12) They were all laughs, when Denys knighted him on the ride to Kings’ Landing – “Ser Ned, that will make the King shit himself”, Robert japed. And then Robert was dead, and Denys, and Jon, and he lay in the cells while men burned.

And then he learned Lyanna was to be Queen, to stand where Rhaella had stood. He pleaded to protect her, for Brandon and Lysa already had a son, and a second on the way. Stannis gritted his teeth, and Rickard frowned, and Lyanna promised he could.

(13) Poor, unlucky, Waymar Royce. He will meet no Others, feel no icy blades. But he will see Lyanna seek escape from another Baratheon; see Jaime Lannister love another Queen. He will still die.
 
Honestly what interests me is Robert's Rebellion as the lead-up to either a sort of pseudo-Edward III situation, with Aegon or some Targaryen kid a puppet monarch after a Great Council or I could literally actually just read about the War of the Roses
 
Honestly what interests me is Robert's Rebellion as the lead-up to either a sort of pseudo-Edward III situation, with Aegon or some Targaryen kid a puppet monarch after a Great Council or I could literally actually just read about the War of the Roses

I think it’s interesting insofar as you can set up alternate character arcs -> not at all obvious, but Sansa going all Boudicca on shit is the (intended) endpoint of this.

also mostly posted it here so I don’t have to link to the Other Site, but
 
I think it’s interesting insofar as you can set up alternate character arcs -> not at all obvious, but Sansa going all Boudicca on shit is the (intended) endpoint of this.
Wait does she even exist ITTL

Eddard's a Kingsguard and whatnot

Also what's the POD for this and God I hate myself for being into this
 
tbh mainly wrote this to *coughs* set up the other half of it
I love, love, love (alternate) Elizabethan theater - I have some fun notes for a 'Henry and Anne Boleyn have a son' revolving around this idea and also some stuff about Richard III after winning Bosworth - and not to be too much of a spoilsport but I think the idea of a) an incredibly prolific playwright of that era is kind of unlikely; Martin might have had a hand in many plays, but sole authorship is basically not feasible and b) no way someone of that era knows enough about Norse myth to do Hugin and Munin.

Also 'stellaries' is simply beautiful and I want to know more
 
I love, love, love (alternate) Elizabethan theater - I have some fun notes for a 'Henry and Anne Boleyn have a son' revolving around this idea and also some stuff about Richard III after winning Bosworth - and not to be too much of a spoilsport but I think the idea of a) an incredibly prolific playwright of that era is kind of unlikely; Martin might have had a hand in many plays, but sole authorship is basically not feasible and b) no way someone of that era knows enough about Norse myth to do Hugin and Munin.

Also 'stellaries' is simply beautiful and I want to know more

yah, Elizabethan GRRM is implausible for a variety of reasons, not least being that it would be a bit hard for him to invent sci-fi. Hugin and Munin are also probably a stretch, although the problem plays have mostly been assembled for Cheeky Reference Points.

“prolific” is a bit out there and honestly just a rebuttal to the (unfair) criticism Martin gets for being an unproductive writer - I doubt his plays would be anywhere near as widely read as Shakspeare, but he does deserve some points for volume of output.


This was actually a way to dip my toe into (serious) alt-Elizabethan stuff; I have two PODs I’m mulling over which I think would diverge sufficiently from The Henry IX Consensus
 
This was actually a way to dip my toe into (serious) alt-Elizabethan stuff; I have two PODs I’m mulling over which I think would diverge sufficiently from The Henry IX Consensus
Do you mind if I DM you? That sounds utterly fascinating and utterly up my alley.
 
Cyberpunk Tolkien?

First Minister Srichaiyant's eyelid was beginning to twitch. Of course the British people were fully within their rights to demand government that cared about all, not just the enhanced, and Green Future fully intended to put an end to, er, green-skinned royals (that would throw them out of office, anyway, so this was justified self-defense). Yes, genealogy time. But- "Run that by me, again. When, exactly, did they stop being descended from SOPHIA OF FUCKING HANOVER
 
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