List of Presidents of the Union of Great Britain in Spoil the Broth
Winston Churchill (Liberal) 1937-1952
1937: def. James Maxton (Independent Labour), Ernest Shepperson (Agriculturalist), Duff Cooper (Conservative), Hugh Dalton (Social Democratic)
1942: unopposed (ILP petition to be on the ballot denied)
1947: def. Herbert Morrison (Social Democratic), Frederick Marquis (Union), Fenner Brockway (Independent Labour), John Hargrave (Agriculturalist)
"Titan of a New Era"
Yes, yes, the Abdication Crisis ended up terribly for everyone. We now have a Republic. The UK is now just the Union. Or Britain. Whatever. But for the presidential election there was a decision to have a runoff. To ensure everyone could at least agree that one person would have the support of the majority of the populace, you see. The Liberal Party ended up narrowly saying that Lloyd George would not be nominated, and instead his ally Winston Churchill would, mainly because they distrusted DLG more than Churchill. And anyway, the Liberals stood no chance. Right?
Well. The Liberals got in the runoff against the ILP and won handily. Now Churchill's the first President. Great. And he's now talking about fighting Hitler and how we should stop appeasing him. Is this how our Presidents are going to be. Loud, abrasive and totally wro-
Oh.
Can the President just stop being so fucking smug? Yes, yes, we're at war with Germany, our former King is over there and the Nazis have declared us an illegitimate regime or something. Can he just be quiet and be a national symbol of us being strong? There's supposed to be an election in 1942? Can we like, re-elect him unopposed? Ah, the ILP is making noises about how they want to contest the election. Can we just say no?
Oh good, we can. Now he's re-elected. Shut up, Maxton, nobody likes you. Now we can focus on winning the war. Oh good, the war is won. Now time to get a peacetime pres- oh come on, he's running for a third term. Why? Why do we have him as our president?
Ugh, he won a third term. At least it seems like he's planning on retiring in '52. Oh, it's 1952 now. That went by fast
Malcolm MacDonald (National Democratic, then National) 1952-1957 [endorsed by Union]
1952: def. Harold Macmillan (Liberal-Social Democratic), John Hargrave (Agriculturalist), Emanuel Shinwell (Independent Labour)
"Carrying on the Consensus"
Malcolm MacDonald? Who? Oh, the son of Ramsay MacDonald. Why did he get nominated again? Ah, the most uncontroversial pick, I see. Anyway, Macmillan will win it handily, he got the support of Churchill and the SDP. That's rare. 50.1-49.9? I think we're starting to regret the idea of the runoff... Ah well. President MacDonald. Not bad sounding tho. Oh, he's much less loud than Churchill. What a relief. That means we can sit eas-
John Hargrave (Agriculturalist) 1957-1962
1957: def. Malcolm MacDonald (National), Archibald Sinclair (Liberal), Aneurin Bevan (Independent Labour), A. V. Alexander (Co-operative-Social Democratic)
"A Rude Interruption"
Wait what. How did MacDonald lose re-election. And to... him. Seriously. How did the White Fox win the Presidency of this poor country? Ah. ILP and SDP support. Well, let hope things don't spiral out of control now we're led by a weird paganistic Scouts leader. No, no, no, President Eisenhower, the Kindred of the Kibbo Kift isn't the Ku Klux Klan, it's a whole different thing that we can promise. So can you please tell all those American newspapers to stop overreacting and telling DC to put sanctions on to us? And President Hargrave, can you please stop talking about "survival of the fittest"? It's not helping, especially as our Empire is crumbling
Malcolm MacDonald (Independent) 1962-1965* [endorsed by Nationals, Liberals and Social Democrats]
1962: def. John Hargrave (Agriculturalist), Annie Maxton (Independent Labour), John Loverseed (Fellowship)
"Tanned, Rested and Ready"
Oh God, who can get us away from President Hargrave? Oh, look who it is, former President MacDonald, back from his holiday. He looks healthy. And more full of pip and vigour than ever. And he said he's running again, yay! And the SDP, Liberals and Nationals have all agreed to back him to kick out Hargrave. That's good. A firm victory! Wait, who's that in fourth? Apparently it's a bunch of weird university professors and socialites talking about... the environment? The environment? Why?
*bang*
Oh God. The President's dead. Who takes over? The Prime Minister, right? Why do I hear David Lloyd George laughing?
Megan Lloyd George (Liberal) 1965-1967 [as Princess of Wales]
Megan Lloyd George (People's) 1967-1972 [endorsed by Social Democrats]
1967: def. Enoch Powell (Unionist), Emlyn Hooson (Liberal-Agriculturalist), Charles Coulson (Fellowship), Anthony Barber (National), Ted Grant (Independent Labour)
"Y Ddraig Goch"
Fuck Lloyd George. No, not you Megan. Your father, who managed to make the Prince of Wales the one to take over in an acting position if the President is dead. He came up with that for some damned reason. I'm sure you'll do well, it's just the whole how you got to here. Wow, MLG is pretty firm and active as President, unlike past ones, and she managed to piss off the Liberal Party in the process. She won't win the next ele-
Huh. She split off as the People's Party and got the SDP endorsement. Still, the Nationals will wi- oh come on why are we like this. Ugh. Apparently the Nats had a split and Powell walked out with the whole right-wing to form the Unionists. And now MLG won a term thanks to Powell managing to unite everyone against him in the runoff. Great
Yeah, MLG is doing a good job as President. Although her calls for devolution to Wales is pretty predictable by now. And the fact her party is kinda mostly just her and they only won like, 7 seats at the last election kind of hurts her possibility for re-election, I guess
Maurice Macmillan (Liberal) 1972-1977 [endorsed by Nationals]
1972: def. Megan Lloyd George (People's-Social Democratic), Enoch Powell (Unionist), Rolf Gardiner (Agriculturalist), Emrys Thomas (Independent Labour), Charles Coulson (Fellowship), Desmond Donnelly (Our Democracy)
"Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow"
Macmillan? Didn't the Liberals nom- oh wait, it's his son. And the runoff is between two Liberals. Huh. What a good thing Powell narrowly came third, he would have been a nightmare if he won. Alright, Macmillan won. Let see if things hap-
*blinks*
Okay. Jeremy Thorpe somehow became PM leading a coalition of his Liberals, the Nationals and SDP, and this somehow fell apart as an investigation turned up... quite a few things that made him no longer suitable to lead. The President had to intervene, and the President ended up choosing his father as the most suitable man to lead that coalition. He wasn't... wrong per se, but it looked shit
Roy Jenkins (Social Democratic) 1977-1982
1977: def. Maurice Macmillan (Liberal-National), Albert Booth (Independent Labour), John Biffen (Unionist-Agriculturalist), Tony Whittaker (Fellowship)
"A Civilised Society"
What the hell does Jenkins mean by a civilised society? A liberal one? Well, that's civilised, I guess? Anyway, he got elected thanks to people seeing Macmillan as self-serving by appointing his own father. Wow. He's not going to live that down, is he?
And huh, I just noticed that the only president to be re-elected to a consecutive term is Churchill. Is anyone else gonna do that?
Ian Gilmour (National) 1982-1992
1982: def. Roy Jenkins (Social Democratic), Maurice Macmillan (Liberal), Albert Booth (Independent Labour-Globalist), Norman Tebbit (Unionist-Agriculturalist)
1987: def. Arthur Scargill (Independent Labour), Ranulph Fiennes (Agriculturalist-Unionist), Shirley Williams (Social Democratic-Liberal), John Abineri (Globalist)
"Enough of That"
Well, not Jenkins, as he lost to Gilmour. And wow, is our politics getting fragmented. ILP, Fell- Globalists, SDP, Liberals, Agriculturalists, Nationals, Unionists, and don't forget the Scots Independents and Cynghrair Cymru. Wow. Is it just me or is the maps starting to look like an abstract painting?
And with Benn's government falling apart, it seems that the Tories will be in charge for the 80s. Gilmour and Pym. I guess it's a good thing they're not hardline neoliberals like some in the Unionists want, even if Scargill got loud about them "undermining" workers' rights. He clearly just wants the Presidency, just ignore the ambitious bastard. Oh look, he announced his run. Told ya
And he lost in the runoff to Gilmour. First consecutive re-election for... 40 years? Huh. That long. Anyway, things seem to be falling apart for the Tories as the Unionists grow and whatnot. Certainly not a good sign for... huh. That was unexpected
Michael Heseltine (Liberal) 1992-1997
1992: def. Ken Clarke (National), Alan Clark (Unionist), Neil Kinnock (Social Democratic), Ben Mancroft (Agriculturalist), Peter Tatchell (Independent Labour-Globalist)
"Free Trade, Free People"
A Liberal as president? I thought that was out of the window after, well, the Thorpe thing. Apparently I was wrong. Heseltine is very active on foreign policy, which has pissed off Boyson. Good, Boyson's awful. Wait, he's no longer PM? That's Maxton? Wait, Maxton?! Ah, his nephew. We're certainly having a polarised time of it, first the right-wing Unionists now the left-wing ILP. And poor Heseltine in the middle
The whole Non-Aligned Movement thing Heseltine is pushing hard for has made President Clinton pretty irked off, especially as Heseltine spoke out against the idea of nuclear disarmament, calling it a dangerous and foolish thing. Prime Minister Maxton has nevertheless signalled his willingness to agree with Clinton on this, which has led to a clash between the President and PM. The election'll decide who the British people support
David Owen (Social Democratic, then Democrats for Owen) 1997-2002
1997: def. Michael Heseltine (Liberal-National), Sara Parkin (Globalist), Charles Spencer (Agriculturalist), Michael Meacher (Independent Labour), Neil Hamilton (Unionist), Alasdair Morgan (Scots Independent-Cynghrair Cymru - "League of Nations")
"The Wild Card"
Ah. Turns out it was neither. The British people didn't want Heseltine any more, but neither did they particularly want to give Maxton's party the Presidency. Congrats, President David Owen. Why am I feeling a deep sense of unease at that?
Owen has been... well, certainly the most vocal president, and one that seems to think he's the party leader when he's not. The SDP hates him and has decided to say no to renominating him. I don't bla- "I am forced to follow the example of a past President". Oh God, this damn country...
John Major (National) 2002-2007 [endorsed by Unionists]
2002: def. Cynog Dafis (Cynghrair Cymru-Globalist), David Owen (Democrats for Owen), Gordon Brown (Social Democratic), Jeremy Corbyn (Independent Labour), Malcolm Bruce (Liberal), Ann Mallalieu (Agriculturalist)
"Grey Mornings"
Huh. That was one weird election. I didn't expect the Welsh Nats to form an alliance with the Globalists and somehow get in the runoff and for Brown, Owen and Corbyn to basically split the Left vote to smithereens. But we're now left with... why am I feeling so bored?
Ah. It's John Major. The greyest man ever. The man who left the circus to become an accountant. At least that's a change from Heseltine and Owen. He'll be re-elected easily as people vote for the safe and secu-
Charles Windsor (Globalist) 2007-2017 [endorsed by Agriculturalists and Cynghrair Cymru, and Liberals in 2012]
2007: def. John Major (National-Unionist), Charles Kennedy (Liberal), Jeremy Corbyn (Independent Labour), Jack Straw (Social Democratic)
2012: def. Suzanne Evans (Unionist-National), John McDonnell (Independent Labour), Margaret Beckett (Social Democratic)
"The Black Spider"
Okay. There was a recession. The Globalists somehow decided to nominate the cousin of the would-be Queen and he got the endorsement of the Agriculturalists and Cynghrair Cymru somehow, and he won. Well, congrats on the death of the Republic, I guess
The Black Spider [his nickname in the somehow still-existent Kibbo Kift] has been a somewhat "aristocratic" president, as befitting his station, but he has supported several climate change bills. We must show ourselves better than the Americans on this. We must get to 100% green energy by 2030! Full steam ahead! He gets on famously with American President Beatty, which is a welcome change from the days of Atlantic frostiness
In 2012, the Liberals, after voting on it, has decided to endorse him, declaring "there is no one better to lead this country". And he got close to winning an outright majority, almost becoming the first President to do so. The runoff was almost an afterthought
In his second term, he has been vocal about... the countryside. I knew there was a reason the Agriculturalists liked him. He has met with Agriculturalist leader Minette Batters quite a bit and she's clearly hoping some of his popularity can rub off on her party as well as the Globalists
Mike Woodin (Globalist) 2017-present [endorsed by Independent Labour]
2017: def. Theresa May (National), Yvette Cooper (Social Democratic), Andrew Adonis (Liberal), Tim Farron (Agriculturalist), Nigel Farage (Unionist)
"Everything's Gone Green"
Back in 2007, there was a meeting, according to rumours. This meeting was between Charles Windsor and Mike Woodin. The deal apparently was that Windsor got the nomination for two terms if he won, and then Woodin would take the nomination in 2017. And this deal went by smoothly as Woodin won it with no opposition. Unlike Windsor, Woodin has been more left and so got the support of the ILP although none of the parties that supported the President in 2012. But with Windsor campaigning for him and his spirited energetic charismatic campaign, he won the election
His radical views make him Britain's most visionary President yet. What a pity he now has to deal with PM Minette Batters leading a centre-right coalition, instead of a left one that he could influence. The next four years promise to be interesting