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Cikka’s Vague Attempt To Motivate Him/Herself, A Test Thread

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
"

Zoe came to the door of a small, unassuming household, positioned at the top of a small street. Silton, despite it's clearly quite Tory nature, was at least a place where you could tell who you might be able to swing. The unfortunate thing was, of course, no one voted for council elections anyway. A brief knock, followed by a wait. It took about a minute for someone to come to the door, someone who was clearly a teenage boy. First thing Zoe noticed was the hair. She was no stranger to dyed hair, but his was a spectacular shade of blue, and long, spreading to his shoulders. Second thing she noticed was his seeming unawareness of his surroundings. The hallway leading to the door was clean as a whistle, but the boy at the door seemed to be in the middle of something, his t-shirt on backwards, and with his shorts, quite clearly covered in paint stains.

"Hello, is your mother or father there?" Zoe smiled in what at least she thought was a comforting way.
The boy glanced around. "I'm afraid not. My mother's in London and my father's at work."
Zoe maintained her smile. Why was this kid giving so much information? "Well, in that case, could you give this leaflet to your father when he gets home?"
"He's a Tory, you know. He won't listen. But I do have an opportunity for..." The boy waved his hand wildy at Zoe. "You people. There's a climate strike planned for the local Comp, and we're looking for local political support."
Zoe's smile wavered. "Thank you, but-"
"I think you'll find that this is no small affair. We have support in the school's many consittuent cliques. Even the racist lads who kick around a football after school, you know the type, are on our side. We have potential to bring the matter of climate action to the people of Silton as a whole, no matter their..." He laughed slightly. "Political position. My name's Peter, by the way. Never liked it, always seemed a bit passé. You are?"
Zoe's smile had completely fallen by now. Kid thought himself a politician.
"Listen, Peter. What age are you?"
"I don't see the relevance of that fact. I will have you know that despite my age I am a cunning operator. For example, I know the entire political composition of the local CLP, which-"
"I have other doors to knock, Peter. I'll see what we can do about the strike." Zoe exhaled.
"Very good. And by the way, I'm sixteen. Just."
Zoe smiled again. "You remind me of when I was sixteen."
Peter looked back, blankly. "You types always say that."
The door closed. Zoe began to walk away, before turning back, stuffing a leaflet through the letterbox.
Zoe trounced onto the next house. No one was in. She kicked herself for not thinking through running leaflets on a Wednesday at 14:00. Onwards, nonetheless.
================
The rain had stopped by that point, but the narrow hallway to the “Pepton and Treeden Constituency Labour Party Headquarters“ still smelt like fungal rot. Zoe trudged past the empty cardboard boxes scattered around the floor. No one knew where they came from, but new ones appeared every week anyway. The door to the ”meeting area”, the only room they could afford, had a A4 printout with the Labour rose logo on it. Zoe could hear a muffled discussion from behind the door. She sighed, and opened it.
“-and I think it’s fair to say, Louis, the only people who actually care about the damn climate around here are the kids anyway!”
Mary, one of three Labour councillors in the entire county of Wiltshire, turned towards the door. “Hi, Zoe.”
Mary London was a tall, thin woman, her long hair tied up in a neat ponytail. Her clothing, neat and plain, matched what Zoe considered her personality to be, Relentlessly pragmatic to a fault. Having been the massive scalp in the only victory the CLP ever produced, Mary considered herself to be quite the operator.
“You heard about this climate thing?” Zoe said, eyeing Louis, who was massaging their forehead in stress. ”There was a kid at one of the doors who told me about it.“
Louis looked up. “Yes, I heard about it too. I think it’s important we do something about it. Not only is it party policy, it’s also just the right thing to do.”
Mary looked infuriated by this. “I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. Three kids will sit outside of school for a couple days to piss off their parents, then they’ll go back inside when it starts raining. Simple thing to do, we ignore it, and avoid pissing off every fifty-something parent in Pepton by associating their teens who won’t eat their vegetables with the Labour Party even more than they do already, and the hundred-odd people who vote in these damn things will come out for the nice clean lady who talks about how lovely the local scenery is, and how maybe it would be nice to recycle plastic bottles in the park rather than chuck it in the nearest landfill. That’s how we get things done here, alright?”
Zoe threw herself down on a chair. They usually went like this for around an hour. She wondered how much she missed.
“Jesus, are you that deluded?“ Louis stood up dramatically, to which Mary equally dramatically rolled her eyes. “This town isn’t just a mass of random old men shouting about how much they wish the muslims would go home, there’s a ton of people who genuinely believe in helping the world as a whole rather than leaving it to rot! People are out there and they’re concerned for their children’s futures, no matter whether or not they dye their hair or something. It’s very easy to dismiss everyone in this town as just more tories, but there are a significant sector of people who think that the future matters!”
Zoe, at this point, was lying back in her chair, looking at the ceiling.
”Guys. Shut up. For just a second.” She sighed. ”I am chair, technically. So if we could just keep it cool, I would like to say that Mary, you can fuck off. Louis, also, equally, fuck off. I show up to the strike, see the turnout, and if it’s significant, we endorse it wholeheartedly. We don’t want Stevens getting in before us.“ The mention of the local smug Libdem weevil who seemed to be dedicated to destroying Labour, and especially Mary, at any opportunity registered significantly on her face.
”If it’s too small, we do what Mary said, and we do nothing. We don’t denounce it, that would be insanity, but we don’t help, we don’t acknowledge, we simply don’t do anything. The kids will be fine, they’ll do things at their own pace. Understood?”
Louis seemed like they were about to say something, but they faltered, and sat back down. “Understood.”
Mary thought about it for a moment, “Fine.”
Zoe sat back up. ”Oh, Mary, by the way, can you settle something for us? Who’d be more likely to win the election in 1994, Tony Blair or Bryan Gould?“
Mary, without hesitation, immediately perked up. “Gould’s a kiwi, not a chance. Blair.”
Zoe smiled.”I fucking called it.”
Louis exhaled in amusement. “What’s her authority?”
Mary laughed. “Well, I’m the only person in this room to get elected, aren’t I?”
”I got elected as equalities chair.”
”Only twenty people voted.“
”Yeah, but I got seventeen votes. I miss John.”
The room went silent briefly at the mention of John, who had moved up the country to Leeds for his girlfriend.
”Have you talked to John recently?” Zoe said. “I should probably keep in contact more.”
Louis piped up. “He’s fine. Still a bit shaken after his dad passed, but he’s gotten a lot better. He shaved!”
Mary looked at Louis quizically. “John? Christ, I can’t imagine him without the beard. That thing got so long...”
The room went silent again.
Mary sighed. “Anyway, I have to go again, got some paperwork to do.”
”I’ll see you soon, Mary.” Zoe said. “Good to see you.”
Mary traipsed out of the room. As she left, she accidentally kicked one of the cardboard boxes on the floor, mumbling what was presumably an expletive, Zoe figured.
Louis looked at Zoe, smiling smugly.
”What?”
”I got in your head. You weren’t acting as courteous towards Mary as you usually are.”
”Fuck off, Louis.”
=============
 

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
Electoral History of Robert Mumby, 1st Baron Mumby of Kesteven (1883-1964)

1883-1914: Private citizen, Agricultural Labourer and Trade Unionist
1914-1918: Midshipman, Royal Navy
1918-1924: Labour MP for Rutland and Stamford
1918, cross-endorsed by Silver Badge; def. Claud Heathcote-Drummond-Willoughby (Unionist)
1922, cross-endorsed by National Farmers' Union; def. Charles Harvey Dixon (Unionist)
1923 def. Neville Smith-Carington (Unionist)

1924-1930: Nonpartisan Governor of Tasmania
1930-1933: Private citizen, Writer and Trade Unionist
1931: Labour candidate for Rutland and Stamford
1931; Neville Smith-Carington (Unionist) def. Robert Mumby (Labour)
1933-1937: Labour MP for Rutland and Stamford
1933 def. James Heathcote-Drummond-Willoughby (Unionist)
1935 def. James Heathcote-Drummond-Willoughby (Unionist)

1937-1939: Independent Labour Party MP for Rutland and Stamford
1939-1942: Independent Labour MP for Rutland and Stamford
1942-1946: Common Wealth MP for Rutland and Stamford
1945 def. James Heathcote-Drummond-Willoughby (Unionist)
1946-1950: Labour MP for Rutland and Stamford
1946-1950: Labour Minister of Food
1950; Roger Conant (Unionist) def. Robert Mumby (Labour), Cyril Valentine (Liberal)
1950-1951: Private citizen, Writer and Trade Unionist
1951-1964: Labour Peer
Self-Insert History

Electoral History of K.S. Healy
1860-1890: Private Citizen, Journalist
1890-1910: Irish Parliamentary Party MP for South-East Cork
1910-1918: All-For-Ireland MP for South-East Cork
1918-1920: Private Citizen, Journalist

Contents [hide]
1 Birth and Family
2 Career in Journalism
3 IPP MP
4 All-For-Ireland
5 Sinn Féin Landslide And Assassination
6 Legacy
7 Political Ideas
7.1 Irish Sovereignty
7.2 "Unionist Socialism"
8 Homosexuality Rumours
9 Bibliography
10 References

(no, that is not my last name)
(yes, this is a massive ego trip.)
 

Time Enough

"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
Pronouns
He/Him
Hey, @cikka do you know about Nita Clarke the GLC Communications Officer?

Well she was competing against Peter Mandelson for the Media Communications Job and nearly got in, losing by one vote.

Imagine, 80s Labour but with the campaigning of the GLC...
 

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
Hey, @cikka do you know about Nita Clarke the GLC Communications Officer?

Well she was competing against Peter Mandelson for the Media Communications Job and nearly got in, losing by one vote.

Imagine, 80s Labour but with the campaigning of the GLC...
Well, here's the thing.
Nita Clarke assisted in Ken's massive anti-abolition press push, which turned him from "Red Ken, friend of the RA, destroyer of worlds" to "Cuddly Ken, amphibian fiend", so she wouldn't be completely ineffectual. My question is how Mandy himself would react, because from what I've heard he's the vindictive type.
 

Time Enough

"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
Pronouns
He/Him
Well, here's the thing.
Nita Clarke assisted in Ken's massive anti-abolition press push, which turned him from "Red Ken, friend of the RA, destroyer of worlds" to "Cuddly Ken, amphibian fiend", so she wouldn't be completely ineffectual. My question is how Mandy himself would react, because from what I've heard he's the vindictive type.
Oh Nita would have worked so much better with Kinnock, selling the Cheeky Welsh Mining Lad he was instead of a stiff Thatcheresque Prime Minister.

So Mandelson probably buggers back off to TV land and that’s that. From what I know the Communications Officer job was something he was only vaguely interested in and he was rather disinterested in Labour in 85.

If he was really vindictive then he probably joins the SDP but who knows.
 

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
Oh Nita would have worked so much better with Kinnock, selling the Cheeky Welsh Mining Lad he was instead of a stiff Thatcheresque Prime Minister.

So Mandelson probably buggers back off to TV land and that’s that. From what I know the Communications Officer job was something he was only vaguely interested in and he was rather disinterested in Labour in 85.

If he was really vindictive then he probably joins the SDP but who knows.
Peter Mandelson Director-General of the BBC
MAKE IT HAPPEN, SLP!

In other news, pic from You Can't Say That featuring Ken, Kinnock, Tony Banks and Nita Clarke
1618266578145.png
Also Illtyd Harrington but he's less well known
 

Time Enough

"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
Pronouns
He/Him
Peter Mandelson Director-General of the BBC
MAKE IT HAPPEN, SLP!
I think Mandelson worked with ITV connected companies but who knows the possibilities.

Also love that Nita Clarke starts as this Livingstone Leftie before becoming a Blairite who gives birth to an even bigger Blairite (Emily Benn is a massive Blairite).
 

Comrade TruthTeller

In Dead Loss Angeles, In Dead Loss Angeles
Location
Pinner, London
Pronouns
He/him
From gamerznewz.io
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda:
==================================
Format: Leader, Country, (Year-)

My research on people I don't know will be as lazy as possible
From gamerznewz.io
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3.
2.
1.
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda:
==================================
Format: Leader, Country, (Year-)
 

Comrade TruthTeller

In Dead Loss Angeles, In Dead Loss Angeles
Location
Pinner, London
Pronouns
He/him
From gamerznewz.io
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3.Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2.
1.
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda:
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2.
1.
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)
 

Edmund

Stan T. Dan
Location
Tynemouth
Pronouns
he/him
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2.
1. Ted Cruz, United States (2020-present)
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)
 

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2.
1. Ted Cruz, United States (2020-present)
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)
Going to bump this to see if I can get any more
 

Comrade TruthTeller

In Dead Loss Angeles, In Dead Loss Angeles
Location
Pinner, London
Pronouns
He/him
Going to bump this to see if I can get any more
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2. Newt Gingrich, United States (2001-2009)
1. Ted Cruz, United States (2020-present)
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)
 

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4.
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2. Newt Gingrich, United States (2001-2009)
1. Ted Cruz, United States (2020-present)
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)
i hunger for the last to be a non-anglophone lmao, thanks for all your contributions!
 

Nyvis

Token Marxist
Location
Paris
Pronouns
She/Her
TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!
5. Anne Widdecombe, Great Britain (2010-2011)
4. Marine Le Pen, France (2022-2027
3. Tom Watson, Great Britain (2020-2022)
2. Newt Gingrich, United States (2001-2009)
1. Ted Cruz, United States (2020-present)
Dishonourable Mention For Anti-Gaming Propaganda: Joe Biden, United States (2009-2013)

Is this supposed to be the worst leaders? Have something in the same spirit! Non anglo, as asked.

Far right gamers international alliance I guess.
 
Last edited:

cikka

"Sucks up to the British more than the bloody DUP"
Location
Kentkingsh- kentklungklicklingshirekington
Pronouns
he/him, she/her
From gamerznewz.io (Warning: this site is funded in part by the US government)

TOP FIVE WORLD LEADERS WHO ARE UNEXPECTED GAMERS!

What up, Gamer Bros! While we may all be chillaxing out there with our hardback compilations of CTRL+ALT+DEL (Now available from Amazon Booksellers!), there are worldwide politicians who are trying their best to make the world more epic! And what is more epic for a politician to do when not ordering tax cuts or other epic things? That's right, GAMING! So here's some hip leaders who unexpectedly play video games!

NUMBER 5. ANN WIDDECOMBE!
Woah, we're starting with a girl? That's right gamers, the former Prime Minister of England was in fact an epic gamer girl! Famed for her right-wing politics and immense social reforms banning sodomy, Widdecombe in 2011 appeared on stage to promote her new "Protect Children from harmful media" bill by playing Glasgow-based Rockstar Studios' newly refreshed Bully game. She was shot just a month later by a roving Scottish terrorist. However, this also involved censorship of Britain's video games, and that's unepic, which is why she's only number five on this list.
1618387085504.png
NUMBER 4. MARINE LE PEN!
Oui oui, Baguette! That's right, another gamer girl, this time from across the channel! Marine Le Pen, best known for sending the killshot against the EU and the failed coup in Mali that eventually toppled her, actually helped guide the development of Quantic Dream's epic story Fragments Of Power by meeting with David Cage! Under her guidance, FoP went from some sci-fi stuff to accurately critiquing the actions of the Arab population of France, and whether or not it was right to deport them! (Uhh, duh!)
1618388146958.png
NUMBER 3. TOM WATSON!
Some Social Justice Warriors will obviously accuse us of having only right wingers on this list, but as the fair and balanced site that Gamerz Newz is, we include all political gaming perspectives. Tom Watson, prime minister and leader of the Labour Party, and then the Progressive Party after being kicked out of Labour due to the simple action forming a National Government during the Invasion of Iran, later appeared at a show to promote A Month in Bandar-Al-Abbas. While picketed by cucks who just accept his point of view, A Month In Bandar-Al-Abbas was widely promoted by the former PM, who supported the game wholeheartedly, saying "This will inform the public who only hear about how the war was evil to hear the point of view of those who know that it was necessary to ensure peace in the Middle East." Truer words have never been spoken, Tom!
1618388568685.png
NUMBER 2. NEWT GINGRICH!
Newt Gingrich can be argued to be one of the most important men in American history, considering how he lead the charge on the "New, Free America" movement that still guides the country to this day, except for a small four-year gap which we'll get to later. It can also be argued that he is an EPIC GAMER! Gingrich not only also promoted A Month In Bandar-Al-Abbas, he personally gave voice lines to the game in flashbacks! Gingrich also critiqued Call of Duty for "liberal bias and unchristian themes", which is fine because that's for casual gamers anyway.
1618389241181.png
NUMBER 1. TED CRUZ!
The Vice-President to the unfortunately MURDERED President Ryan, Ted Cruz kept the conservative flame of government alive until he was reelected in 2020 with a massive mandate! Cruz has been decried by liberal enemies to be some kind of idiot, but he’s in fact as sharp as a tack, and of course sees video games as part of our future. He personally motivated the “Free Speech On Campus” act which banned anti-gaming (Ok, not specifically, but it banned SJW propaganda) speech on campuses. He personally vetoed all liberal attempts to promote sodomy or gender ideology in Congress when it passed through the Democratic-controlled house, and he of course banned TOKYO’S incursion upon the American gaming industry. Truly there is no better President, and no better gamer. We salute our Commander-In-Chief!
D3E37584-1932-4E15-A284-B8790B2DCCD9.jpeg
DISHONOURABLE MENTION FOR ANTI-GAMING PROPAGANDA: JOE BIDEN
The only Democratic President of the 21st Century, Joseph Robinette Biden could only be said to be a failure. Economic disaster, an increase in terrorism, a horrible social policies, and worst of all, Anti-Gaming censorship. Led by his vice-president, wife of some former Arkansas Senator Hillary Clinton, JACK THOMPSON (Booo!) was brought in to motivate anti-gaming messages across the world.

For shame, Biden.

For shame.

That was our list, brought to you by Amazon by Microsoft. Get the best books, cheap and fast!

I might do another one of these, ask for some more Non-Anglophone leaders. It’s a fun way to experiment with a dystopia from perspective of terrible gaming journalists.

T O K Y O
 
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