- Pronouns
- it/its (you'll get used to the third person thing)
This is extremely creative and funny.REPORT: Vice President Gore seen panicking, swearing loudly at residence - National Enquirer, 1999
"Sources in the White House claim a 'noticeable and dramatic change' in the attitude of the vice president, describing him as uncharacteristically sarcastic, aggressive and, most worryingly, outwardly hostile to certain individuals in congress, such as Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. It is almost as if his body is being occupied by a completely different person." - excerpt from New York Times article, 1999
"Maybe you should start shaving, Al."
"Maybe you should start keeping it in your pants, Bill."
- overheard conversation in the Oval Office, 1999
"And let me tell you, how else were the authorities clued in that these two boys were about to perpetrate a mass shooting?! Make no mistake, my friends, the Colorado police were tipped off by a rouge element in our government! There's no doubt!" - conspiracy theorist Alex Jones discussing the arrests of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, 1999
"NAFTA WAS A MISTAKE!": Gore visits Seattle WTO protests in solidarity - Washington Post, 1999
On gays and lesbians, Gore proclaims "Love thy neighbour as thyself, and trans rights!" during California tour - 1999
The Green Mountain Socialist? A rundown on Bernie Sanders, Gore's bizarre pick for running mate - celebnewz.com, 2000
"Bernie got more roll call amendments passed than any other congressman since 1995, all while Congress was under a Republican majority. We have absolute faith in his ability to look beyond partisanship and implement commonsense reform for all Americans." - Gore, suspiciously lucid, 2000
Gore calls Bush running mate Dick Cheney "the most evil man in America" - Fox News, 2000
Clinton, Gore meet with Louis Freeh and George Tenet to discuss "matters of national security" - CNN, 2000
Members of Al-Qaeda terrorist cell apprehended at San Diego Flight School - Fox News, 2001
"Well, uh, shit, Al, I didn't expect any of this."
"Consider it a parting gift, Bill, so they'll forget about the impeachment and you can leave the White House on a high note."
"I'm still not sure how you knew about the whole--"
"Water under the bridge, Bill, water under the bridge. Just remember what I said."
"Hillary's a real class act, Al, I'm not sure I can--"
"Convincing her not to run for office is your problem, Bill, mine is kicking the asses of Halliburton's Board of Directors."
- private conversation in the Oval Office, 2001
In inaugural address, Gore warns of looming economic recession and climate crises "unless we act NOW" - BBC News, 2001
Cabinet of "Al Gore", 2001-
Vice President: U.S. Representative for Vermont Bernie Sanders
SecState: fmr. U.S. Senator from Alaska Mike Gravel
SecDefence: fmr. Deputy National Security Advisor James Steinberg
SecTreasury: fmr. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich
Attorney General: Judge of the Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit Diane Wood
SecInterior: Chairman of the Otoe-Missouria Tribe Della Warrior
SecAgriculture: Founder of the National Black Farmers Association John Boyd
SecCommerce: Director of the Center for Effective Public Management Elaine Kamarck
SecLabor: Vice-Chairman of the Democratic National Committee and Executive vice-president of the AFL-CIO Linda Chavez-Thompson
SecHHS: Researcher and professor at the University of Pittsburgh Dr. Herbert Needleman
SecHUD: Mayor of Minneapolis Sharon Sayles Belton
SecTransportation: U.S. Representative for Oregon Earl Blumenauer
SecEnergy: fmr. Administrator of the EPA Carol Browner
SecEducation: Founder and president emerita of the Children's Defense Fund Marian Wright Edelman
SecVet: U.S. Senator from Virginia Chuck Robb
EPA: fmr. Attorney and Consumer Advocate Ralph Nader
- WhiteHouse.gov
Wish I understood the joke.