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AMERICA DIVIDES: The Multi-Party US Election of 2016

Confused the hell out of me the first time I went there in 1990.

Weirdly enough, when my parents visited the other week, we did this game where we were trying to see if the three of us could name a city in every state in the US, and we ended up in an argument over the pronunciation of Raleigh. I was thoroughly convinced it had to be Ra-Lee, because seeing it was in North Carolina, I mean, it had to be named after Sir Walter Raleigh, surely? My parents who had actually visited the place however, insisted on Rawley, and I was forced to concede that they probably knew better.

(Interestingly, I was the only one who could name a city in Montana, and that was entirely due to me knowing about Bozeman due to being a Star Trek fan. We also ended up in a weird meta-debate over whether or not Maycomb, Alabama was a real place, or whether Harper Lee had made it up for To Kill A Mockingbird, with my mother insisting that it was a real place, until the next day, when she realized she had been thinking of Macon, Georgia. In the end, we managed all states, save for one.)
 
10 inc New England map complete
"You and your maps..."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-01		
	Nat          	119,273   	31.4%
	Con          	79,692    	21%
	Lib          	63,524    	16.7%
	Cst          	57,644    	15.2%
	Prog          	43,539    	11.5%
	All          	16,428    	4.3%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	380,100
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Con
			Lib

"We were getting a lot of number one districts counting first earlier, but it's taken until now to get Florida's. This one is in the area known as the 'Panhandle' because, well, you can figure it out, and culturally has more of the long-lasting and traditionally 'Southern' population, as opposed to those who moved to Florida after air conditioning started being a thing and malaria stopped being one. The Conservatives will have had high hopes here, but once again, the Nationals have come out on top in Marco Rubio's backyard."

Rich (BB code):
	MA-04		
	Lib          	123,588   	32.4%
	Prog          	102,388   	26.8%
	Fus          	69,740    	18.3%
	Nat          	63,965    	16.8%
	All          	22,086    	5.8%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	381,767
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Fus

"Only a couple of districts to go now in Massachusetts, and indeed the whole of the New England region. This one takes in an area south-west of Boston and includes the town of Taunton, which interestingly still has the Union Jack on its flag."

"Back home Taunton would be a Conservative-Lib Dem battleground, but quite different here, no?"

"Depends on how equivalent you consider party names, Andrew. The Liberals and Progressives are fighting it out - the Liberal lead candidate and former Democratic incumbent was Joe Kennedy III, of the Kennedy dynasty, who, quite remarkably, is somehow still alive - and the Fusionists have picked up their first seat in Massachusetts. This is usually considered a left-wing state, but there have been some right-wing candidates elected, as predicted under the PR system - it's just people did not expect the Nationals to be the main beneficiaries."

Rich (BB code):
	NC-04		
	Lib          	148,145   	35.9%
	Prog          	133,372   	32.3%
	Cst          	46,088    	11.2%
	Con          	36,428    	8.8%
	Nat          	33,868    	8.2%
	All          	14,632    	3.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	412,533
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"Speaking of number four districts, here's North Carolina's. This one sits north of the city of - ah - 'Rawley' and takes in another name we're familiar with, Durham."

"What, Durrem as in Durrem? don't they pronounce it DURR HAMM or something?"

"No, because that's exactly what we'd be expecting them to do. Anyway, another Liberal-Progressive battleground, with - again as we've seen in this state before - surprisingly the Constitution Party leading the right. But too far behind. Anyway, the Prime Minister back home might be pleased to see a constituency whose name evokes a fellow Labour one near his own of South Shields going--"

"That's too tenuous even for us, let's move on."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-07		
	Lib          	100,528   	49.2%
	Prog          	77,136    	37.7%
	Nat          	11,285    	5.5%
	Fus          	9,913     	4.8%
	All          	5,611     	2.7%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	204,473
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"Speaking of Liberal-Progressive battlegrounds, here's New York's seventh district. This one takes in parts of Queens and Brooklyn Heights, where there was a famous battle fought in the American War of Independence."

"What, didn't all the brownstone houses get in the way?"

"Er, they hadn't been built yet."

"What, are you saying it's possible to build houses? There's no place for ridiculous conspiracy theories on the BBC, Jeremy."

Rich (BB code):
	SC-06		
	Lib          	148,841   	55.8%
	Nat          	35,238    	13.2%
	Prog          	29,318    	11%
	Con          	27,120    	10.2%
	Cst          	18,382    	6.9%
	All          	7,948     	3%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	266,848
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"That's the last result from South Carolina. The sixth district was gerrymandered by the old Republicans to put a large portion of the BAME voters together, but this has now had the side effect of delivering all three seats to the Liberal Party."

"I think that's only the second time we've seen that happen tonight. All three seats go to one party, I mean. We really are going to have to pause and explain what gerrymandering is at some point..."

"Yes, but before that - as we have all the results from South Carolina now, the statewide top-up bonus seats can also be awarded, and, well, that will be a bit of a surprise to many people watching at home."

Rich (BB code):
	South Carolina at-large		
	Lib          	628,843   	29.9%
	Nat          	445,471   	21.2%
	Con          	408,001   	19.4%
	Cst          	301,917   	14.4%
	Prog          	226,530   	10.8%
	All          	92,265    	4.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	2,103,027
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"South Carolina was considered out of reach by the old Democrats for years, since the parties, um, shifted positions on, er, race. But now, with the right divided and the left more united behind the Liberals, that party has come out on top in voteshare with its appeal to BAME voters. Look at the state results."

"So do the Liberals have more seats from South Carolina than all the right-wing parties combined?"

"Not quite, due to the vagaries of the voting system. The Liberals have eleven, including those two crucial bonus seats for topping the polls statewide, while the Conservatives and Nationals both have six each, so twelve together. No seats at all for the Progressives, which was predicted, but it's curious that the Constitution Party has done noticeably worse here than in the neighbouring state of North Carolina. Most analysts expected it to be the other way around. Possibly things have been affected by the 'Moral Mondays' protests in North Carolina which may have polarised matters more there."

Carolinas 18results.png

"And as you can see on the map, with all those results for South Carolina, we can display the statewide seats as well...though not for North Carolina, with three seats still to go."

"Perhaps you should wait till all the results come in before updating the map? It's not as if we have dead time here Jeremy, the results are coming in thick and fast..."

"Oh, perhaps..."

Rich (BB code):
	MA-08		
	Lib          	120,769   	31.5%
	Prog          	110,587   	28.9%
	Nat          	70,861    	18.5%
	Fus          	60,763    	15.9%
	All          	19,937    	5.2%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	382,917
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Nat

"And speaking of which, here's the final result from Massachusetts. Again a close fight between the Liberals and Progressives for this district, south of Boston, which takes in more familiar names to us, such as Weymouth and Braintree."

"That'd be one big constituency if those were together back home!"

"Quite...but in this case the Nationals have managed to take the third seat. Which means we also have all the seats for Massachusetts and can tot up the statewide results..."

Rich (BB code):
	Massachusetts at-large		
	Lib          	1,013,331 	31%
	Prog          	981,865   	30%
	Nat          	569,782   	17.4%
	Fus          	521,111   	15.9%
	All          	185,679   	5.7%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	3,271,768
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"Statewide, the Liberals have just edged out the Progressives. That means New England is divided. While Bernie Sanders' Progressives have outperformed expectations in his own backyard, the Liberals have put up a considerable fight in Massachusetts and Connecticut. But support has also gone to the Nationals and Constitution Party on the right - in contrast to expectations that the more moderate Conservatives would be the main right-wing beneficiary of PR in this left-wing-dominated region. The New England map is now complete!"

New England.png

"That's more like it. One of our, slightly arbitrarily-defined I should say, regional maps is filled out. But there is much more to come. And we still haven't heard from Katty about the remaining two parties..."
 
11
Rich (BB code):
	VA-07		
	Lib          	111,729   	28.5%
	Con          	84,849    	21.6%
	Nat          	72,897    	18.6%
	Prog          	60,815    	15.5%
	Cst          	40,286    	10.3%
	All          	21,592    	5.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	392,168
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Con
			Nat

"Before we go on, that's Virginia's inland seventh district. One of the few places where the Conservatives are edging out the Nationals on the right-wing side, though the Liberals are ahead overall."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-13		
	Lib          	146,608   	58.1%
	Prog          	86,317    	34.2%
	Fus          	6,967     	2.8%
	Nat          	6,760     	2.7%
	All          	5,741     	2.3%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	252,393
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"And New York's thirteenth district. Interestingly, this is actually the smallest district in the US, geographically speaking, being based mostly on the northern part of the island of Manhattan. Projections suggested that all three seats would be going to the Liberals in these kinds of seats, but in fact there is a substantial vote for the Progressives, who are also getting some representation."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-05		
	Lib          	143,356   	45.9%
	Nat          	55,491    	17.8%
	Prog          	47,838    	15.3%
	Con          	33,545    	10.7%
	Cst          	22,856    	7.3%
	All          	8,985     	2.9%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	312,071
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Nat

"And going down to Florida, this district in the north of the state is another case where the Liberals have slightly underperformed expectations - in this case the third seat going to the Nationals."

"Can we really say what expectations reasonably were in this brave new world, though?"

"Perhaps not - it is just that this was a Democratic-packed district by almost a two to one margin in the old times..."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-23		
	Nat          	81,969    	28.3%
	Fus          	76,187    	26.3%
	Prog          	65,729    	22.7%
	Lib          	49,284    	17%
	All          	16,848    	5.8%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	290,017
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Prog

"And back to New York, but quite a different part of the state indeed - a large rural district along the border with Pennsylvania, and here the Liberals language down in fourth place without representation. The Fusionists are just behind the Nationals, but it's the Progressives who take the third seat here. This district is home to the city of Ithaca..."

"Haha, like in that Simpsons episode from 1996."

"Yes, all right, that was a bit of a non sequitur, I suppose you could say it's relevant because President Obama appeared in the last episode of The Simpsons in 2009, but let's move on."

Rich (BB code):
	VA-08		
	Lib          	177,868   	48.3%
	Prog          	92,547    	25.2%
	Con          	50,599    	13.8%
	All          	20,616    	5.6%
	Nat          	17,551    	4.8%
	Cst          	8,704     	2.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	367,885
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"The Liberals are on rather firmer ground here in Virginia, in a district right next to Washington DC. This is the area known as 'NoVa', for northern Virginia, which had been trending to the left for years as DC's suburbs expanded into it."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-14		
	Lib          	87,933    	45.1%
	Prog          	63,474    	32.6%
	Nat          	26,616    	13.7%
	Fus          	11,944    	6.1%
	All          	4,956     	2.5%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	194,923
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"We appear to be ping-ponging from Virginia and New York. This fourteenth district is another urban one, taking in parts of Queens and the Bronx. I believe the Progressive candidate elected here is the young lady with an asteroid named after her whom Katty spoke to earlier."

"How lovely. Speaking of Katty, she's looking at me impatiently, but before we get to the next party, I was wondering - why haven't we had any results from Georgia yet?"

"Georgia on your mind, Andrew?"

"Don't try to be clever, Jeremy."

Rich (BB code):
	VA-02		
	Lib          	98,030    	30.5%
	Con          	68,234    	21.3%
	Nat          	67,528    	21%
	Prog          	47,732    	14.9%
	Cst          	20,932    	6.5%
	All          	18,612    	5.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	321,068
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Con
			Nat

"Er...well, what was I just saying about Virginia...the Conservatives just barely ahead of the Nationals here, but again the Liberals in first...this district was drawn by someone who hates cartographers and wants them to suffer, as it includes that fiddly peninsula bit and two random chunks of the mainland."

"I blame King Charles' protractor."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-17		
	Nat          	114,490   	32.4%
	Lib          	78,925    	22.3%
	Con          	64,938    	18.4%
	Prog          	44,994    	12.7%
	Cst          	40,728    	11.5%
	All          	9,786     	2.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	353,861
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Con

"And Florida again. Now this big chonky boi of a district--"

"There is such a thing as trying to be too in wiv da kidz."

"Sorry...but honestly, it's the size of Belgium...the Conservatives are lucky to get a third seat here."

Rich (BB code):
	WV-01		
	Nat          	134,938   	55.3%
	Prog          	38,813    	15.9%
	Fus          	30,996    	12.7%
	Lib          	25,571    	10.5%
	All          	13,576    	5.6%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	243,894
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Nat
			Nat

"West Virginia's first district votes very similarly to the one we already saw, overwhelmingly National."

"Yes, evidently these dispossessed miners historically united by union labour to oppose exploitative plutocrats have decided that true change for their economic degradation can only lie in the hands of, checks notes, an exploitative plutocrat."

"Well, it's the last thing they've be expecting them to do. Also, here's a map."

Virginias 10results.png

"Sticks out a bit, doesn't it - even if there is a bit of commonality on the Virginia side of the border."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-21		
	Nat          	78,476    	28.1%
	Fus          	72,005    	25.8%
	Prog          	69,875    	25%
	Lib          	41,885    	15%
	All          	17,197    	6.2%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	279,438
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Prog

"Rural New York again, and this is another ch - another really big district. And this one is full of fun unpronounceable Dutch names. Anyway, to say this district actually went for the old Democrats not that long ago, a majority of votes going to the right-wing parties, with the Progressives grabbing the third."

"Andrew wanted news from Georgia, well, it appears we have news from Georgia. In fact, the Governor wants to speak to you right now."

"Ah, well that makes sense. Put him on the gigantic video screen." An annoyed Katty Kay stepped back to allow the screen to display a familiar face in front of Georgia's committee-designed flag that was just neo-Confederate enough to upset everyone else, while not being neo-Confederate enough to please the actual racists. "Governor Saakashvili, America is in the spotlight of the world here, why has your state been so long to count its votes?"

Mikheil Saakashvili frowned. "Well, that's a very confrontational way to put it, Andrew. You shouldn't forget time zones for a while, and then I had to stop the secretary of state just awarding all the votes to himself."

"Ah, you also brought him from a former Soviet republic, did you?"

"No, they're actually worse around here than Eduard Shevardnadze was," Saakashvili explained. "Or that stooge Putin has got running Tblisi these days."

"Good old Edward Shedwardnazi, yes. So those are the reasons for the delay?"

"Partly," Saakashvili said, stepping back to reveal a window behind him, "but also because of our corporate sponsorship deal, you see."

The window loomed large in the camera view, yet the view seemed dark and almost formless. Only very bright lights within were visible, dimly illuminating the fact that it seemed to be looking into a huge, cuboidal room like a hangar. Around the edges of the light glows, the dark mass turned them a golden-brown colour. It was, in fact, rather like the effect obtained when taking two pairs of red-green 3D glasses, reversing one so the red was on top of the green and vice versa, and looking through the result at a solar eclipse against the advice of medical professionals.

Except this seemed to have a lot more bubbles.

As the camera adjusted, it became dimly visible that the floor of the huge chamber was home to many tables. Around them were people wearing wetsuits and scuba gear, with bubbles pouring from their masks and joining the others already rising to the ceiling. They appeared to be counting votes and looking at voting machines.

"We had some false starts because the acid was eating away at some of the machines," Saakashvili explained, stepping back into view.

"I see," Neil lied. "Um, exactly what is this sponsorship deal?"

"Simples," Saakashvili said, twitching. "The election here in Atlanta is sponsored by The Real Thing tee-emm, Coca-Cola--"

"--other cola-type soft drinks are available," Vine said automatically.

After several moments of Saakashvili's withering glare, he reluctantly added "but admittedly, most of them are quite shit."

"Anyway," Saakashvili continued, "as a result, the vote counting is taking place in rooms filled entirely with the delicious taste of this fine state's finest export, not counting the peaches. Although they do do Coke with peach now. Now that's shit." He glanced at his Google Watch. "Ah yes, looks like we do have our first result now."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-12		
	Lib          	85,038    	31.8%
	Nat          	61,583    	23%
	Con          	49,757    	18.6%
	Cst          	40,864    	15.3%
	Prog          	23,899    	8.9%
	All          	6,534     	2.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	267,674
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Nat
			Con

"Quite a mixed result there from Georgia's twelfth district, in the eastern part of the state. The Conservatives are hanging on, as in Virginia. Governor Saakashvili, any comments?"

"Tavisupleba and death to Putin!"

"Yes, that's fair enough."
 
12
"Didn't they already do that joke in "Partying Like It's 1999" but with cider and Herefordshire? Talk about running out of ideas..."

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-20		
	Lib          	184,654   	63.9%
	Prog          	46,942    	16.3%
	Nat          	26,689    	9.2%
	Con          	17,507    	6.1%
	Cst          	8,055     	2.8%
	All          	4,964     	1.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	288,811
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"Another result from Florida, and finally an all-Liberal district. This is another BAME-majority area which the former ruling Republicans gerrymandered into place as a packed district, but now they may be regretting it, as it means a significant number of right-wing votes are being wasted under the new PR system."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-20		
	Prog          	93,051    	28.6%
	Lib          	82,333    	25.3%
	Fus          	67,774    	20.8%
	Nat          	63,783    	19.6%
	All          	18,140    	5.6%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	325,081
			
	MCs elected:		
			Prog
			Lib
			Fus

"And that's New York's 20th district, taking in Albany - don't - and some other surrounding areas. Interestingly, the Progressives have come out on top here, the first time in the state so far, as you can see on my map..."

New York 17results.png

"I believe we have something quite different now. Katty, I'm sorry to delay your party discussion again, but instead, could you tell us about why the result we're being told about is so historic?"

"Certainly, Andrew. One of the odd paradoxes of the United States is that its very seat of government, the District of Columbia - that's the DC in Washington DC - is not part of any state, and therefore is not entitled to representation in government. That might have been fine when it was just a few government buildings in a swamp, but has become a problem since it grew up into a significant city - especially as that city is majority black. There was a rather halfhearted rules patch, as the young 'uns say, in the 1960s, when people of DC were given the right to vote for the presidency - three electoral votes, same as the smallest state. But DC actually has more people than several states, and they still had no representation in the Senate or the House of Representatives."

"And now?"

"Now, DC has been given the same rights as the states - though the American territories like Puerto Rico have not yet been granted it yet, that is expected to follow. DC is treated as a single-district state, meaning it has three regular MCs plus the two top-ups."

"As there's only one district, we can give both at once now the results are here..."

Rich (BB code):
	DC-00		
	Lib          	223,513   	71.8%
	Prog          	59,317    	19.1%
	All          	15,715    	5%
	Con          	9,356     	3%
	Nat          	1,774     	0.6%
	Cst          	1,594     	0.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	311,268
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"A pretty titanic vote for the Liberals there and almost nothing for the right-wing parties...who in fact come behind the Alliance Party! And the top-up seats are the same of course..."

Rich (BB code):
	DC at-large		
	Lib          	223,513   	71.8%
	Prog          	59,317    	19.1%
	All          	15,715    	5%
	Con          	9,356     	3%
	Nat          	1,774     	0.6%
	Cst          	1,594     	0.5%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	311,268
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib

"So that's five more MCs for the Liberals from the voters of DC, an historic moment and one which will be pleasing to those who have campaigned for this right for years."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-18		
	Nat          	114,379   	29.9%
	Lib          	113,758   	29.7%
	Con          	62,036    	16.2%
	Prog          	54,800    	14.3%
	Cst          	27,356    	7.2%
	All          	10,145    	2.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	382,474
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Con

"But we can't dawdle for long, as we have yet another result from Florida, on the eastern coast. A close fight between the Nationals and Liberals here, again with the Conservatives in third."

Rich (BB code):
	NJ-11		
	Nat          	145,047   	38.1%
	Lib          	123,566   	32.5%
	Prog          	58,768    	15.4%
	Fus          	40,649    	10.7%
	All          	12,565    	3.3%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	380,595
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Nat

"We haven't heard from New Jersey in a bit, but the eleventh district...one of the most affluent in the region and formerly reliably Republican. Here there's a decisive break for the Nationals out of the new right-wing parties, something which will be worrying to many."

Rich (BB code):
	OH-10		
	Lib          	87,789    	25.2%
	Con          	86,683    	24.9%
	Nat          	68,463    	19.7%
	Prog          	65,534    	18.8%
	Cst          	23,557    	6.8%
	All          	16,155    	4.6%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	348,181
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Con
			Nat

"That's another formerly reliable Republican district, in the southwestern part of Ohio...here, though the Conservatives are beating the Nationals as they generally are elsewhere in the state, the Liberals have pipped them to the post. That could matter when it comes to totting up the statewide totals for the top-up seats."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-15		
	Lib          	88,395    	26.4%
	Nat          	74,515    	22.3%
	Con          	61,398    	18.4%
	Prog          	55,830    	16.7%
	Cst          	41,721    	12.5%
	All          	12,658    	3.8%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	334,518
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Nat
			Con

"The Florida map is really starting to fill in now. This is an interior district, one full of places nobody has heard of, I'm not doing the British people only care about Orlando thing, I mean I think even people who live there haven't heard of them. Anyway, it's a very divided district - you can see there are substantial votes for other parties that don't get represented, like the Progressives and - the Constitution Party! Katty?"

(Muttered) "Even by your standards, that was a tenuous link..."

Kay stepped aside as the screen reconfigured to show new imagery. A purple circle with a scroll in it slowly grew and overlapped with images of Ted Cruz's face in a disturbing way. "Any hopes that the former Republican right would remain united in the face of Mr Trump and the National Party were dashed when Mr Cruz and his supporters walked out of the Conservative party convention earlier this year. Despite being a relative political neophyte, Mr Cruz has become an unlikely standard-bearer for those Americans who steadfastly reject Mr Obama's constitutional reforms."

Cut to Ted Cruz on a podium before a cheering crowd, with a white backdrop on which, strangely, appeared a grid of black, astrological-looking symbols. "We don't need no proportional representation, we don't need no vote control! This is the Domin - I mean the United States of Ca - America, the greatest country in the," he glanced down at his notes, "world, and we must unite against this assault on our freedoms, our motherhood and pout - apple pie, so our children can have a country to grow up in where they can ride their bobsleds to curling practice just like George Washington did! Eh?"

Flash of light, during which an aide had hastily removed Cruz's maple leaf toque. "As I was saying, this is a perfect constitution, unimpeachable in any regard, and anyone looking for reform is a dangerous popish radical trying only to undermine the Protestant religion and the person of King George, we must not grant representation to the colonies - wait, no, sorry, wrong speech." He turned the page. "As Patrick Adams said, ask not who cut down the apple tree, but what your country can do for fear itself."

Flash of light, after which the podium was now facing backwards. "As I was saying, the only documents we need to run this great nation by are the Founding Fathers' Constitution and this Bible!" An aide whispered in his ear. "What do you mean, there's a first amendment? Ah, anyway. That traitor Obama should read words like these and weep!" He opened the Bible at random. "'For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing'..." Cruz frowned and flipped the pages. "'He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes for strong nations far and wide. They will beat their swords into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war any more'." His flipping got more desperate. “'Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches'..." He shook his head. "Hey Markwayne, where's the bit about giving tax breaks to companies that make CFC-contaminated bottled water, or arming foetuses with assault rifles?"

Kay stepped before the screen. "Despite a number of gaffes, the Constitution Party has drawn some support, especially from the American interior. In some states, deals have been achieved to keep the Conservatives and Constitution Party factions together - what are described as Fusion deals. For example, in Pennsylvania a deal was negotiated here by former Senator Rick Santorum. Health warning: please be sure not to look directly at Mr Santorum's teeth. Look through a pinhole in a piece of A4 paper."

"Thank you Katty. So what might the results look like if the Conservatives and Constitution Party had stayed united?"

"A lot better for them and worse for the Nationals, that's clear. It will probably influence future elections..."

"Also, wasn't there already a Constitution Party?"

"No, that was one of the existing minor parties, it has no connexion to Mr Cruz's group, though it has sued him over the name...we'll be hearing from them in time, when I cover the Alliance Party."

"Thank you Katty, we'll get back to you when there's time..."

Rich (BB code):
	NJ-02		
	Nat          	129,807   	40.4%
	Lib          	92,924    	28.9%
	Prog          	54,732    	17.1%
	Fus          	32,679    	10.2%
	All          	10,862    	3.4%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	321,004
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Nat

"New Jersey again, and another perhaps worryingly strong result for the Nationals. In this case it seems more like a split on the left which has harmed that side of the spectrum. This southern rural district was already right-leaning, but not to the extent this implies."

Rich (BB code):
	MD-08		
	Lib          	155,781   	42.7%
	Prog          	81,036    	22.2%
	Fus          	56,690    	15.6%
	Nat          	54,695    	15%
	All          	16,209    	4.4%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	364,411
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"And that's another of Maryland's rather twisted-looking districts, taking in a lot of diverse areas...don't ask me for more details or I'll just fall into a Mandelbrot set forever."

Rich (BB code):
	OH-06		
	Nat          	105,294   	32.9%
	Con          	84,833    	26.5%
	Lib          	46,488    	14.5%
	Prog          	39,025    	12.2%
	Cst          	31,726    	9.9%
	All          	12,700    	4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	320,064
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Con
			Nat

"Ohio, and interestingly, even in this state the Conservatives aren't beating the Nationals everwhere. This district is on the eastern border of the state and starts to fall into the same Appalachian mountainous region as places like neighbouring West Virginia - we've already seen the appeal of the Nationals there."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-14		
	Nat          	87,051    	34%
	Con          	62,234    	24.3%
	Cst          	42,564    	16.6%
	Lib          	34,197    	13.4%
	Prog          	22,316    	8.7%
	All          	7,510     	2.9%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	255,872
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Con
			Nat

"And our second result from Georgia is very similar to that one from Ohio. The fourteenth district, in the north-west, is again very right-wing, with the Constitution Party even in third ahead of the Liberals, though not getting representation. In fact, one might expect it to elect open conspiracy theorists."

"What?"

"Nothing! Also, here's a map!"

Georgia 2results.png
 
13
"We are still way before we fill out any more of our regional maps, as many of these east coast states are among the most populous. Probably when we enter the more sparsely populated interior of the United States, in coming hours as the polls close, we will conversely be filling in vast areas of land all in one go..."

Rich (BB code):
	MD-01		
	Nat          	141,389   	38.6%
	Fus          	85,574    	23.4%
	Lib          	67,567    	18.4%
	Prog          	54,771    	15%
	All          	16,931    	4.6%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	366,231
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Nat

"Maryland's first district. This used to be a generally Democratic-dominated state, as we have already discussed, and they gerrymandered the boundaries to look, well, horrible - but crammed all the Republican voters into this district in the eastern part of the state. The result is that all three seats have gone to right-wing parties..."

"Yes, about jeremyndering, Gerryman - I mean -"

Rich (BB code):
	IN-03		
	Fus          	103,014   	35.4%
	Nat          	86,573    	29.7%
	Prog          	46,539    	16%
	Lib          	41,160    	14.1%
	All          	13,903    	4.8%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	291,189
			
	MCs elected:		
			Fus
			Nat
			Fus

"Speaking of right-wing districts, that's another one in Indiana and another rare success for the Fusionists. Evidently the endorsement of sitting Governor Mike Pence has played a role in shoring up the Conservative part of the Fusionists, because, as we know, a conventional social conservative like Mike Pence would never support Donald Tr-"

"Yes, we get it. Besides, Stephen Pound is a hundred times the politician Mike Pence is."

"...shut up."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-22		
	Lib          	139,773   	39.2%
	Nat          	82,476    	23.1%
	Prog          	62,582    	17.6%
	Con          	47,505    	13.3%
	Cst          	16,248    	4.6%
	All          	7,898     	2.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	356,482
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Nat
			Lib

"Florida again, and the twenty-second district is one of several small, densely populated districts taking in settlements on the southeastern coast, near the Everglades in the interior. Despite being right in the path of hurricanes, what used to be seen as a malarial swamp was transformed by air conditioning and immigration from northern retirees, Cuban exiles and others. That applies to southern Florida as a whole, I should say. This district was actually the area with that infamous recount we all remember from 2000."

"Oh yes. Swingin' Chad was my favourite, personally. At least we don't have to deal with that kind of vote counting now thanks to Mr Obama's reforms..."

"One might say Mr Obama made the butterfly ballot extinct, like, you know, he put it in a killing jar and now it's spread on a display in the Natural History Museum, you get it-"

"Alright, that's both tenuous and morbid, let's move on."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-02		
	Lib          	115,539   	46.6%
	Nat          	50,833    	20.5%
	Con          	31,792    	12.8%
	Cst          	24,736    	10%
	Prog          	20,916    	8.4%
	All          	4,287     	1.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	248,103
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Nat

"And Georgia's second district, again a split between a Liberal majority and a National minority; this district has a BAME majority electorate but only narrowly so. If the Conservatives and Constitution Party had agreed to a Fusion arrangement here, they would have got the third seat instead."

"Assuming people still voted the same, of course - we've already seen some states where, in accordance with some vox pops we've heard, voters saw the Fusion arrangement as a so-called corrupt bargain and turned away from the parties because of that."

"Well, true."

Rich (BB code):
	FL-24		
	Lib          	178,050   	67.1%
	Prog          	41,733    	15.7%
	Con          	21,982    	8.3%
	Nat          	13,843    	5.2%
	Cst          	4,992     	1.9%
	All          	4,575     	1.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	265,174
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"Yet another Florida district from that south-eastern coast, and this one was even more Democratic under the old system than before - an overwhelming vote for the Liberals and they obtain all three seats, a rarity for tonight. The Progressives would have had to increase their vote by half as much again to get the third seat. And here's an update to the Florida map..."

Florida 20results.png

"Once again, it's striking that the only colours we see are blue and orange. Though the Conservatives have won a fair few seats, they haven't topped the polls anywhere, with Mr Rubio's - and the hospitalised Mr Bush's - apparent home state advantage seeming to vanish, in contrast to Mr Kasich, the other temporary co-leader of the party, in Ohio."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-02		
	Nat          	123,960   	39.6%
	Lib          	75,833    	24.2%
	Prog          	61,847    	19.7%
	Fus          	41,948    	13.4%
	All          	9,698     	3.1%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	313,286
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Lib
			Nat

"New York, and another Long Island district, so we shouldn't be surprised the right is on top, unlike in NYC proper. But perhaps we should be surprised that, again, the right-wing vote has overwhelmingly gone to the extreme Nationals."

"Well, Mr Trump's rant, I mean speech, about 'New York Values' on the campaign trail may have played a role. We also shouldn't forget that this district was formerly represented by someone who was either a Nazi or a terrorist funder, but I can't remember which King is which."

"Thank goodness they don't have our libel laws here."

Rich (BB code):
	PA-13		
	Lib          	129,975   	39.1%
	Prog          	87,293    	26.2%
	Nat          	53,600    	16.1%
	Fus          	51,958    	15.6%
	All          	9,819     	3%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	332,645
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"To the neighbouring state of Pennsylvania. A voice in my ear is telling me to correct something I said before; the state did not redraw its district boundaries for this election, as the legal dispute over them has continued, and is still using its old gerrymandered ones. The thirteenth district is the northern part of the city of Philadelphia and part of an area called Montgomeryshire-"

"What, is there a dispute over whether it's Welsh or English?"

"...oddly enough, yes, sort of. Anyway, the left-wing parties are firmly on top here, but the Liberals don't have it all their own way, with one seat going to the Progressives."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-01		
	Lib          	79,798    	29.6%
	Nat          	62,872    	23.3%
	Con          	52,679    	19.5%
	Cst          	36,446    	13.5%
	Prog          	30,392    	11.3%
	All          	7,382     	2.7%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	269,568
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Nat
			Con

"Georgia's first district is on the state's only coastline, in the south-east, where Savannah is. Interestingly, this was considered a Republican district under the old system, but here the right-wing parties are so split in comparison to the left that the Liberals come out on top - albeit the two other seats going to the Nationals and the Conservatives. If this was a purely FPTP election, the Liberals would be sweeping up a lot of seats on a plurality due to a divided right."

"Would the same be true in reverse in some places?"

"Perhaps, as we've seen hints of in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, where the right has more united...albeit around the Nationals. Anyway, this isn't all theoretical, because it will matter for the statewide at-large seats where coming first - acorss the state, that is - is all that matters."

Rich (BB code):
	NJ-08		
	Lib          	117,361   	51.1%
	Prog          	56,473    	24.6%
	Nat          	38,737    	16.9%
	Fus          	10,599    	4.6%
	All          	6,566     	2.9%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	229,736
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Prog

"Speak of the devil."

"Ah, the Jersey Devil?"

"...no. Anyway, this certainly isn't a part of Jersey where the right are helped, is it?"

"No. This district takes in oddly-shaped parts of Newark - not that one - Jersey City, and other places that exist purely for Bruce Springsteen to write songs about. Again, though the Liberals are dominant, the Progressives still take a seat."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-08		
	Lib          	136,438   	53.5%
	Prog          	79,251    	31.1%
	Nat          	26,204    	10.3%
	Fus          	8,152     	3.2%
	All          	4,885     	1.9%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	254,930
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Lib

"A similar result in the eighth district, again, of neighbouring New York. This one takes in parts of Brooklyn and Queens in NYC, and was overwhelmingly Democratic. The right-wing parties don't get a look in, but the Progressives do."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-13		
	Lib          	167,317   	55.5%
	Prog          	46,618    	15.5%
	Nat          	31,651    	10.5%
	Con          	28,654    	9.5%
	Cst          	19,852    	6.6%
	All          	7,146     	2.4%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	301,238
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Lib
			Lib

"On the other hand, here's a place where the Progressives are just too far behind and the Liberals have all three seats. This one takes in some of the outer parts on the south side of the city of Atlanta."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-17		
	Lib          	118,398   	37.2%
	Nat          	73,855    	23.2%
	Prog          	68,039    	21.4%
	Fus          	48,484    	15.2%
	All          	9,444     	3%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	318,220
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Nat
			Prog

"New York's seventeenth district takes in parts of Westchester County, which I'm still not convinced is a real place, and it's an interesting three-way split between Liberals, Nationals and Progressives."

Rich (BB code):
	OH-13		
	Lib          	90,495    	28.3%
	Prog          	73,058    	22.8%
	Nat          	66,709    	20.9%
	Con          	62,164    	19.4%
	Cst          	13,928    	4.4%
	All          	13,524    	4.2%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	319,877
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Nat

"I mentioned before that Ohio was showing more support for the Conservatives than Florida was - well, this district is the exception, where the Conservatives don't get a look in - albeit it would only have taken a couple of thousand votes to change hands for them to get the third seat instead of the Nationals. This is a gerrymandered district intended to pack in Democratic voters around the town of Akron and surrounding areas..."

Ohio and Indiana 8results.png

"Yes, about gerrymandering...no, actually. First, we should go back to Katty, because she still has one party to explain. Isn't that right, Katty?"

"Yes Andrew. They haven't had a good night so far, with no seats even under this PR system, but before election night, I spoke to the - er - collective leadership of the Alliance Party..."
 
With the talk of Con and Fusion failing while Libs and Progs so far seem to have more parity, suspecting a big part of the math here is based on primary candidate votes
 
14
"The Alliance Party is the wildcard in tonight's election," Katty Kay began as her giant screen shifted, now showing a multi-faceted array of yellow squares with different faces in them and a capital A stylised with stars and stripes. "All through the night, we've been talking about how, until Mr Obama's remarkable reforms, the United States was a two-party system, with those two parties being the Democrats and Republicans. But that was never entirely true."

The screen shifted, now showing a large and diverse array of party logos, many of them rather amateurish-looking and pixellated on the big screen. "These so-called third parties included the Libertarians, the Greens, the Constitution Party - not the same as the one being led by Ted Cruz - and a number of others. But it is important to understand just how marginalised and irrelevant these parties were, for the most part, in the old American system - hence why we usually called it a two-party system."

A wizened businessman behind a podium beside the familiar figures of Bill Clinton and the elder George Bush. "Arguably the best third party performance in the last few decades was businessman Ross Perot, standing in 1992 as an independent on a platform that echoes recent trends in British politics - opposition to economic integration with a wider body, in this case the North American Free Trade Agreement or NAFTA."

A few flashes of Perot speaking on stage. "A giant sucking sound--"

"Mr Perot came a strong third in the popular vote, but that meant nothing under America's old presidential system. He then founded his own party, called the Reform Party. In 1998 the Reform Party won a high-profile office, that of Governor of Minnesota, with celebrity candidate Jesse Ventura, a former professional wrestler." Scenes of Ventura behind the Governor's desk with one of America's many indistinguishable blue state flags behind him.

"But this breakthrough came to nothing. The two existing parties united to stymie Mr Ventura's efforts, in the same way that they force any third party or independent candidates elected to Congress - such as Bernie Sanders - to 'caucus', or group themselves with, one or the other or miss out on key legislative privileges. America's system did not merely encourage two parties, as first-past-the-post is often claimed to do elsewhere - it was deliberately set up to exclude any who sought to break this model."

An image of Hillary Clinton and John Edwards looking faintly ill behind a barbecue in 2008. "Another factor is that American parties were not like those we know in the UK. Whereas here, and in most countries, parties choose their candidates in small closed-door selection votes, in America Democrats and Republicans held mass votes in which anyone could register to participate - not only for president, the only ones we usually heard about, but for other offices as well. These were called primary elections, and in some areas where one party was dominant, they were more important than the actual general election itself. Because almost anyone could stand for either party and the party could not say no to them if they won the vote - there was little incentive for any serious politician to stand as a third party candidate, because it was much easier for them to win the primary selection of either party. In the case of Bernie Sanders, for example, he usually won the Democratic primary vote and then deliberately disclaimed the party label and ran as an independent."

Scenes of eccentric-looking people wearing cowboy hats, marijuana leaf T-shirts, or sometimes both. "So the only people who usually stood for third parties tended to be closer to the kinds of parties at home that challenge the Prime Minister in fancy dress and then lose their deposits, rather than the Liberal Democrats, English Democrats or the like. Despite this, there have been some minor successes. Due to the role of uncontrolled money in American elections - something else which Mr Obama has sought to reform - sometimes no Democrat would challenge a Republican for certain offices, or vice versa. Sometimes these elections went simply unopposed, leaving the voters of those districts or states with no more choice than a Cuban or Chinese citizen has on their ballot. However, sometimes a third party stepped into the breech. Other times, scandal might attach mid-campaign to a major party candidate and a minor party would benefit - as, for example, happened in Indiana recently, with some usual Republican votes going to a Libertarian instead."

An old election map by county, a sea of red and blue. "But we shouldn't exaggerate how minor those successes are. Only a handful of third party candidates have ever even won a county in an election, and those usually on personal vote; the Libertarians and Greens, the most consistent third parties, never have. There have been independent wins here and there, such as Mr Sanders, his fellow former Senator Angus King, and Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee, but they are very much the exception to the rule."

Barack Obama's silhouette intruded into the map, hand raised either in an inspiring gesture or just about to swat a fly. "But, as we've been hearing tonight so much, Mr Obama has introduced a form of proportional representation to the United States. Will this be the change of voting system needed to give these third parties a voice? No, claim many of their leaders, who say the current system still discriminates against them, and have pooled their resources to protest. They call their vehicle the 'Alliance Party', a mixed group united only by their support for further voting reform. I spoke to their leadership..."

Rich (BB code):
	PA-10		
	Nat          	129,119   	41.7%
	Fus          	75,556    	24.4%
	Lib          	46,760    	15.1%
	Prog          	46,531    	15%
	All          	11,604    	3.7%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	309,569
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Nat

"I'm sorry Katty, we'll get back to you shortly, but we have a few more results coming in first."

"Yes, this large and rural district in the north-east of Pennsylvania used to be strongly Republican, and all three seats are won by the right wing parties..."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-07		
	Lib          	84,484    	28.6%
	Con          	64,198    	21.8%
	Nat          	49,875    	16.9%
	Prog          	47,528    	16.1%
	Cst          	36,771    	12.5%
	All          	12,115    	4.1%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	294,972
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Con
			Nat

"Georgia's seventh district covers the north-eastern part of Atlanta. A bit of a mixed bag; it has trended to the left in recent years, but two out of the three seats are won by the right even if the Liberals top the polls. The Conservatives are ahead of the Nationals here, which does seem to be the exception rather than the rule tonight..."

Rich (BB code):
	NY-24		
	Lib          	77,641    	25.2%
	Prog          	73,380    	23.8%
	Fus          	72,442    	23.5%
	Nat          	67,321    	21.8%
	All          	17,790    	5.8%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	308,574
			
	MCs elected:		
			Lib
			Prog
			Fus

"New York's 24th district, in the middle of the state around the city of Syracuse. This is a very divided area politically, and you can see that the top four parties are very close. Although this district used to have a Republican Representative, here two out of three seats go to the left parties, with the Fusionists just beating the Nationals to the third."

Rich (BB code):
	PA-03		
	Nat          	114,894   	35.4%
	Fus          	83,069    	25.6%
	Lib          	61,414    	18.9%
	Prog          	52,151    	16.1%
	All          	12,682    	3.9%
	Cst          	0         	0%
	Con          	0         	0%
			
		Total	324,210
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Fus
			Lib

"And Pennsylvania's third district, in the north-west of the state, on the coast of Lake Erie. The opposite situation to the one we just saw - two seats go to the right-wing parties, but the Liberals managed to get the third."

Rich (BB code):
	GA-09		
	Nat          	100,287   	33.7%
	Con          	71,991    	24.2%
	Cst          	58,915    	19.8%
	Lib          	34,167    	11.5%
	Prog          	23,301    	7.8%
	All          	8,553     	2.9%
	Fus          	0         	0%
			
		Total	297,215
			
	MCs elected:		
			Nat
			Con
			Cst

"Back to Georgia for the ninth district. This was formerly a very Republican district, and all three seats go tothe right-wing parties. This is the first win for the Constitution Party in Georgia we've seen, interestingly - as you can see on the map."

Georgia 7results.png

"And with that, I think we have to curtail our efforts and apologise to Katty for our interruption. Um, tenuous link - one thing we all noticed with those results - the Alliance Party was nowhere near getting a seat, and in only one district did they break 5%. If that was back home, they would have lost their deposit every other time."

"Yes, well, Mr Obama's reforms do not extent to a deposit system like ours," Kay said, sounding more resigned than put out by this point. "But yes. Although America now has a form of proportional representation, small districts with three seats do tend to disadvantage parties whose support is more thinly spread over a wider area. As I discussed with the Alliance Party's collective leadership..."
 
Honestly, that's one of the best explanations I've seen as to why American third parties are so flimsy.

Can't wait for the collective leadership of a party united only by a shared love of voter reform, opposition to vaccinations, and being really really fucking abnormal people. Hopefully the Green and Original Constitution Party (Zodiac Killer Anti) members aren't seated together.
 
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