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Alternate Wikibox Thread

View attachment 46022
agnew is to Rhodesia what Hayes is to Paraguay
agnewswildride.png

the full thing, again all credit to Jenny
 
A rendition of this scenario that I got obsessed with for reasons as of yet unclear to me.

200.gif


Shoygu got friendzoned, Dimon sleeps in dust,
And here we are stranded, put out to rust,
We hear of their calls, we yearn for their faces
No space to fly over the fraternal graves


"...even with the benefits in mind, Ukrainians and their despot Arsen I plainly insist on hysterically raving about our agreement with Berli-"

"...Vladimirov and Yegorov were Sobyanin's men, and Nikitin and Rotenberg were Piter men, and we know that Putin prefers Piter men above a-"

"...thousands have marched in St. Petersburg to mourn the death of Senator and Second President of the Russian Federation, Vladimir Pu-"

"...in accordance with his mandate, we hope to continue reforming Russia's administrative divisions to better reflect city growth trends and population diff-"

"...Cossack militias have clashed with Chechen fighters in Krasnodar, as Tsargrad has unfairly alleged that the Governor of Krasnodar Oblast was 'a puppet of-"

"...in short, the observed anomalies, in addition to the aforementioned reports of illicit funding, lead us to distrust the results of United Russia's 'preliminary vote' and their choice of Igor Rotenb-"

"...protests in Kurgan continue over the explosion at Shchuchye, which has been followed by the hospitalization of thousands of people, including children, due to-"

"...the provoca- the provocateurs-don, they want our Ingush brothers-don to forget their heritage, their historic ties-don, but-"

"...in response to recent proposals regarding European-style healthcare reform, the government of Yekaterinburg has allowed local LGBTQ organizations to hold their so-called 'Anti-Eugenics Parade'-"

"...the conflict between the elites of Moscow and Kyzyl continues to develop, as the former Head of Tuva has claimed yesterday that he had met with Konstantin-"

"...Who gives a shit about information? All these exposés and the only people who ever get arrested are the morons and the middle-ranks with golden toilets. Remember 2023? It's better to keep Google running than to let a bunch of bored plebs run a-"

"...inside you there are two wolves. One says that the Chinese can be stopped at the Urals, the other that the Mongols could reach Moscow in a matter of days-"

"...a three hundred strong unsanctioned Communist demonstration in Cheboksary has been put down by police yesterday-"

"...even with the recent arrests of independent observers, videos of brazen fraud, in addition to violent fighting in voting precincts, have become available to the world at lar-"

"...there was no politics in- there was no politics in the disbanding of Echo of Moscow, no. No, there's not- there's not a fucking purge. Yashin had gotten registered, that says 'purge of opposition' to you?-"

"...He was a God-fearing, true patriot, the best governor Nizhny Novgorod has known, and, frankly speaking, the best leader Russia never ha-"

"..,for some reason, courts have been slow to investigate the clear evidence of financial fraud and organization of PMCs on Malofeev's part despite direct orders from-"

"...Georgy Mikhaylovich Romanov had cast his vote in the Russian presidential elections this very mornin-"

"...after a recount, we can confirm that the Republic of Yakutia was won by... Ilya Yashin. We'd like to remind you that since 2030 Yakutia has been governed by former Navalny associate Anatoly Nogovitsyn-"

"...do you want it like in Paris, or in Miami? Do you want it like in Britain, where food is taken away from refugees and given to transgende-"

"...however, the results of the State Duma elections remain inconclusi-"

"...and if the people pretending to be lawfully-elected leaders of Russia do not recognize our ultimatum, then we shall depose this West-imposed sham syst-"

"...due to deepfakes of unclear origin, many citizens of Moscow have unfortunately believed the ludicrous claim that the city police was stocking up on-"

"...the Heads of Crimea and Sevastopol have conspired to prevent their countrymen's will - which had clearly chosen Malofeev - from being recognized-"

"...the word is stronger than steel, the word is stronger than concrete-"

"...Anton Furgal, limping from the after-effects of lead poisoning, was reportedly received 'with exaltation' by the people of Khabaro-"

"...in alarming news, the so-called 'March of the Black Hundreds' has successfully stormed the building of the Moscow City Duma, despite the city police's cutting-edge equipment-"

"...Anastasia Vladimirovna did not flee Moscow, thank you very much-"

"...autocracy is a cancerous tumor on the body of Russian civilization. Down with Tsarism, long live the repu-"

"...Rejoice for Russia, for its true authority will be restored in place of the imposter cabal-"


Bozhe, Tsarya khrani,
Sil'nyy, derzhavnyy,
Tsarstvuy na slavu, na slavu nam!


8Fu6.gif


"Do not panic. Everything is in control. The Russian government is secure."


View attachment 44650

...The sun on the meadow is summery warm.
The stag in the forest runs free.
But gather together to greet the storm.
Tomorrow belongs to me...


"...interior reports staying many high-ranking members of the military are "concerned" with their withdrawal from the Greater Caucasus could-"

"...no, you can't -- no, listen, which of these is more of a problem? These rowdy muslims, or this madman gassing our citizens? We control Chechnya, Vladimirovich made sure of it when-"

"...well Jim, this can all be linked back to the ongoing climate wars erupting all over the globe. In Russia alone, the need for petroleum in the wake of the North Sea crisis has lead to countless-"

"...truck bomb detonated outside Russian military headquarters in Khankala, killing several members of the 18th Guards Motor Rifle Brigade in the blast-"

"...where the corpse of ISIS and the Taliban cast its shadow, we Mujahideen grew in the shade. We will emerge from the shadows and claim our rightful vengeance on the Great Bear. We will kill your men and **** your women. Your children will be-"

"...no, neither me or Comrade Bondarenko have been negotiating the vindication of a Chechen State Council. This is undoubtably misinformation of the Black Hundreds to further defame the movement. Excuse me-"

"...should've wiped out these greasy холки́ when they first tried steal what is ours! Rotenberg's party of crooks and thieves has once again shown that they are too weak to lead us. They truly are cucked soy-eating Betas amongst Sigmas-"

"...BREAKING: Impromptu roadblocks installed across Ossetia and Ingushetia-"

tumblr_owhqdyGQZ21waw5vqo1_400.gifv

...Allāhu lā ’ilāha illā huwa
Al-ḥayyu l-qayyūm
Lā ta’khudhuhu sinatun wa-lā nawm
Lahu mā fī s-samāwāti wa-mā fi l-’arḍ
Man dhā lladhī yashfa‘u ‘indahu ’illā bi-’idhnihi...


Screen Shot 2021-11-14 at 10.21.59 PM.png
 
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...Allāhu lā ’ilāha illā huwa
Al-ḥayyu l-qayyūm
Lā ta’khudhuhu sinatun wa-lā nawm
Lahu mā fī s-samāwāti wa-mā fi l-’arḍ
Man dhā lladhī yashfa‘u ‘indahu ’illā bi-’idhnihi...

I question the use of patronymics here (and I don't understand the origin of the word холки) but all in all this fucks

I assume Kadyrov got removed by matters beyond his control?
 
I question the use of patronymics here (and I don't understand the origin of the word холки) but all in all this fucks

I assume Kadyrov got removed by matters beyond his control?
I'm not the best at Russian, so that might be my bad.
холки is supposed to be the plural of холок, a derogatory slur for Chechen.

And of course, Kadyrov was a Putin appointee. Rotenberg had no use for him.
 
CW: Mentions of gore

...The sun on the meadow is summery warm.
The stag in the forest runs free.
But gather together to greet the storm.
Tomorrow belongs to me...


"...interior reports staying many high-ranking members of the military are "concerned" with their withdrawal from the Greater Caucasus could..."

"...no, you can't -- no, listen, which of these is more of a problem? These rowdy muslims, or this madman gassing our citizens? We control Chechnya, Vladimirovich made sure of it when..."

"...well Jim, this can all be linked back to the ongoing climate wars erupting all over the globe. In Russia alone, the need for petroleum in the wake of the North Sea crisis has lead to countless..."

"...truck bomb detonated outside Russian military headquarters in Khankala, killing several members of the 18th Guards Motor Rifle Brigade in the blast..."

"...where the corpse of ISIS and the Taliban cast its shadow, we Mujahideen grew in the shade. We will emerge from the shadows and claim our rightful vengeance on the Great Bear. We will kill your men and **** your women. Your children will be..."

"...no, neither me or Comrade Nikolaevich have been negotiating the vindication of a Chechen State Council. This is undoubtably misinformation of the Black Hundreds to further defame the movement. Excuse me..."

"...should've wiped out these greasy холки́ when they first tried steal what is ours! Rotenberg's party of crooks and thieves has once again shown that they are too weak to lead us. They truly are femboy Betas amongst Sigmas..."

"...BREAKING: Impromptu roadblocks installed across Ossetia and Ingushetia..."

tumblr_owhqdyGQZ21waw5vqo1_400.gifv

...Allāhu lā ’ilāha illā huwa
Al-ḥayyu l-qayyūm
Lā ta’khudhuhu sinatun wa-lā nawm
Lahu mā fī s-samāwāti wa-mā fi l-’arḍ
Man dhā lladhī yashfa‘u ‘indahu ’illā bi-’idhnihi...



"...well, Jim, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. After years of climate crises, political extremism and subconscious trauma, young people will undoubtedly be looking for answers, especially from an stern authority figure. Look at Trump and his cult of personality, for example-"

"...little being known about him before suddenly bursting onto the philosopher scene, Osennykh Ilyich is ranked alongside other celebrity cultural theorists like Peterson, Žižek and-"

"...information garnered from the Ministry of Social Protection uncovered a bizarre mix of Egoism and esoteric religious practices similar to that of Aleister Crowley and his Abbey of Thelema-"

"...inside you there are two wolves. One says that the leader of the pack must be followed without question, the other wants nothing more than the leaders throat to be ripped out with his teeth-"

"...massive successes with people on the fringe right-wing isn't something I worry about. It's a new fad. I don't care that they claim to be magic or whatever-the-fuck, it's just another label on the same tin-"

"...they claim their are shortages of wheat, of barley. Their imports rot in docks while greedy men horde imaginary money. Friends, they, in their blind arrogance, have missed a near-infinite food source yet untapped-"

"...reports of sporadic gunfire deeper into the mountain range worries locals-"

"...no, listen to me! You don't--listen, damn it! They aren't coming back from patrol! None of them! Those wizard fucks are killing my men and--"

"...with smaller domestic incidents being linked to the movement as it grows in international popularity, including the murder of a purported domestic abuser in the French city of Nice, noted for the corpse missing it's-"

"...how long until Malofeev gases them too, huh? You can clipchimp me all you want, I said what I said, deal with it. God, you delusional Vaush fans in chat are all so triggered by literally anything I-"

giphy.gif

...Баю-баюшки баю
Не ложися на краю
Придёт серенький волчок
И укусит за бочок...

Screen Shot 2021-11-15 at 9.56.37 PM.png
 
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холки is supposed to be the plural of холок, a derogatory slur for Chechen.

I can't find any info on that, sorry.

And of course, Kadyrov was a Putin appointee. Rotenberg had no use for him.

Yeah, about that.

While the following notion seems bizarre nowadays, Ramzan Kadyrov was not considered a contender for the Presidency of Chechnya after his father's death; Anna Politkovskaya, whose career, reputation and eventual death were heavily intertwined with Chechnya, said that, quote, "the younger Kadyrov had the reputation of a boy standing in the corner", with Said-Magomed Kakiyev, the Yamadayev brothers and Alu Alkhanov being considered the primary actors of Chechnya's political struggles.

I might be a little biased here, but I honestly doubt that a United Russia guy would have "no use" for an unpredictable despot with his own personal army (with a presence in Moscow) and virtually unchecked control over a historically rebellious region. Either he got assassinated by his own or it was a brawl so bloody that even TASS would have second thoughts not talking about.

------

...Баю-баюшки баю
Не ложися на краю
Придёт серенький волчок
И укусит за бочок...

Looks like the Sobyanin clique is dying.

It's a shame, honestly - the Russian government on the verge of losing significant urban centres and very resource-rich regions (in addition to control over state borders) to a bunch of cannibal wizard LARPers.

"...inside you there are two wolves. One says that the leader of the pack must be followed without question, the other wants nothing more than the leaders throat to be ripped out with his teeth-"

cackling

"...with smaller domestic incidents being linked to the movement as it grows in international popularity, including the murder of a purported domestic abuser in the French city of Nice, noted for the corpse missing it's-"

Nice.

Horrendous use of Russian names aside, this is a very original box and I find this series of yours very exciting!
 
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Yeah, about that.

While the following notion seems bizarre nowadays, Ramzan Kadyrov was not considered a contender for the Presidency of Chechnya after his father's death; Anna Politkovskaya, whose career, reputation and eventual death were heavily intertwined with Chechnya, said that, quote, "the younger Kadyrov had the reputation of a boy standing in the corner", with Said-Magomed Kakiyev, the Yamadayev brothers and Alu Alkhanov being considered the primary actors of Chechnya's political struggles.

I might be a little biased here, but I honestly doubt that a United Russia guy would have "no use" for an unpredictable despot with his own personal army (with a presence in Moscow) and virtually unchecked control over a historically rebellious region. Either he got assassinated by his own or it was a brawl so bloody that even TASS would have second thoughts not talking about.
Keep in mind we're talking about an old-money oligarch who is more bitter than clever. He'll be up to his own shit.
Horrendous use of Russian names aside, this is a very original box and I find this series of yours very exciting!
My bad.
 
Keep in mind we're talking about an old-money oligarch who is more bitter than clever. He'll be up to his own shit.

Welp. I can imagine that's one reason why the Caliphate gained such immense power.

"...little being known about him before suddenly bursting onto the philosopher scene, Osennykh Ilyich is ranked alongside other celebrity cultural theorists like Peterson, Žižek and-"

An intellectual Internet personality leading an esoteric cult of egoist cannibals to control over a substantial part of Russia is very, very

"...inside you there are two wolves. One says that the leader of the pack must be followed without question, the other wants nothing more than the leaders throat to be ripped out with his teeth-"

Of course, neither of them can be made to work in a circus. :p


Sorry.

Frankly speaking, TV Tropes' page on Russian (and adjacent) naming conventions should be helpful here.
 
"...how long until Malofeev gases them too, huh? You can clipchimp me all you want, I said what I said, deal with it. God, you delusional Vaush fans in chat are all so triggered by literally anything I-"

We are reaching previously unforeseen levels of Blacken with this one.

I assume that the actual direct control of the cannibal bandits is somewhat less than the whole of that red area? Should be fun when whatever surviving Russian government can just walk in after their entire leadership dies of kuru.

This is an interesting series, and I can't wait to see more.
 
I assume that the actual direct control of the cannibal bandits is somewhat less than the whole of that red area? Should be fun when whatever surviving Russian government can just walk in after their entire leadership dies of kuru.

it'll be the Republic of Yakutia Expeditionary Force

This is an interesting series, and I can't wait to see more.

Indeed!
 
1970-1976: Edward Heath (Conservative)
1970: Harold Wilson (Labour), Jeremy Thorpe (Liberal)
1974: Harold Wilson (Labour), William Wolfe (SNP), Emyln Hooson (Liberal)

1976-1978: Edward Heath (Conservative leading National Government)
1978-1983: John Silkin (Labour)

1978: Edward Heath (Conservative-Liberal-Independent Labour-National Coalition), William Wolfe (SNP), Enoch Powell (Unionist Coupon)
1983-1992: Geoffrey Rippon (Conservative)
1983: John Silkin (Labour), William Wolfe (SNP)
1987: Shirley Williams (Labour), Enoch Powell (Democratic Unionist - Unionist Alliance)
1991: Jack Straw (Labour), Ian Paisley (Democratic Unionist - Unionist Alliance)

1992-1997: Ian Lang (Conservative)
1995: Jack Straw (Labour), Ian Paisley (Democratic Unionist - Unionist Alliance), Sara Parkin (Green)
1997-1999: Lynda Chalker (Conservative)
1999-2011: Paddy Ashdown (Labour)

1999: Lynda Chalker (Conservative), Neil Hamilton (New Unionist), Sara Parkin (Green)
2003: Norman Lamont (Conservative), Jonathan Bowden (New Unionist), Jenny Jones (Green)
2007: Tony Blair (Conservative), Jenny Jones (Green), Peter Davies (New Unionist)

2011-2015: Shahid Malik (Labour)
2012 (Coalition with Greens): Tim Collins (Conservative), Rupert Read (Green), Peter Davies (New Unionist)
2015-: Tom Newton Dunn (Conservative)
2015: Shahid Malik (Labour), Kate Hoey (New Unionist), Rupert Read (Green)
2019: Sarah Smith (Labour), Kate Hoey (New Unionist), Aaron Bastani (Green)

WIstZx4.png
 
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