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Biaggi’s Other Opium Den

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Despite many Americans never knowing the man, Oskar Lafontaine certainly inspired the center left of the United States. Many were infatuated with his brash style, his appeal to the public despite his wealth and left-liberal politic, and his various eccentric moments. Sure, he was often controversial, but after disappointing results in 2002 and 2004, many opinion writers saw Democrats as lacking in flair and style, needing brash new leadership to lead them forward. 2006, an election year occurring in the beginning of a recession, saw Democrats at least partially embrace this strategy, and be swept into office across the nation. Many things can be attributed to the Democratic sweep of 2006 - the “six year itch”, the scandals of people like Dennis Hastert, the declining economy, the Iraq War, the use of political star power (Robert Kennedy Jr. in New York and Harold Ford Jr. in Tennessee for example), but one would be remiss if they didn’t mention the new, bombastic, electoral bench of Democrats. Geoffrey Fieger had turned from joke of a gubernatorial candidate to the man who unseated Spencer Abraham, Brian Schweitzer destroyed his competition in nominally Republican Montana, Oscar Goodwin took Nevada for himself, and Doug Duncan beat allegations of mental fatigue to win in Maryland.

While Lafontaine was, intentionally or not, acting as the Democrats spirit animal in 2006, his own run was coming to an end in Germany. His political comeback had been magical, going from guaranteed loser in 1990 to nearly a tragically assassinated figure to the first SPD chancellor of the post-reunification era. However, many believed his career was coming to a close. The economy of Germany was, much like the rest of the world, beginning to slow, and the magic conditions of 2002, where Lafontaine stood as the opponent of the Iraq War and his flood response allowed him to beat the deflated CDU/CSU union. Meanwhile, the CDU had found a new leader, the far right former judge and now mayor of Hamburg Robert Schill. Schill’s fiery populism ate into Lafontaine’s base of support, which had often loved his (quietly ignored by many international fans) opposition to wider immigration into Germany and bombast. Lafontaine’s foreign policy, while popular among his most intense partisans, had also made him enemies. His support for tax harmonization within the EU and opposition to the British overthrow of Robert Mugabe had made him the number 1 opponent of many Anglo conservatives, so much so that Rupert Murdoch and NewsCorp had purchased German tabloid Bild, which had utilized similar tactics to The Sun and became 24/7 propaganda for Schill and his growing far right of the CDU/CSU. Lafontaine’s final battle would be a loss, as the SPD finished second in seats, with the allied PDS collapsing and the Greens not doing quite well enough to maintain a coalition. Meanwhile, the FDP surged, as the political “establishment” revolted against two supposedly radical candidates. With a little alleged help from MI6 and the CIA (who saw Lafontaine as a much bigger threat to international relations), the FDP forged an alliance with the CDU/CSU, believing that Schill, crazy and radical as he was, could be “controlled”. Lafontaine would describe this as “the great betrayal” and feared a return to “a worse time for Germany”.

Lafontaine’s defeat was one that angered many internationally, and his more than slightly forced stepping down as SPD leader to write increasingly angry editorials about the way civilization was falling to neoliberal decline and about how much he personally hated wind power, seemed like yet another defeat for his supporters, yet in America, the editorial media fawned over his international spiritual successor, Geoffrey Fieger. Fieger had been a joke candidate in 1998, the same year Lafontaine finally succeeded in his comeback, saying his opponent was the result of relations between animals and humans. Fieger had since then stayed in the shadows of Democratic politics, donating slightly illegal sums of money to candidates, but, a kinder, gentler, yet still brash Feiger managed to defeat two term incumbent (and former rising star before the GOP base turned against any kind of swarthy figure being their leader) Spencer Abraham in 2006, and within a year saw a massive jump in national prominence, turning a barely green senate seat into a successful presidential campaign, one that capitalized on Americans and their anger at the collapsed economy. Fieger, regardless of how controversial he was, how scruffy he looked, was speaking about the values of Jefferson, Jackson, Roosevelt, Kennedy, and even Clinton at his inauguration, and many pinned the development of such a presidency on Lafontaine, and the liberal’s acceptance of him while looking to find an effective international opponent for the war in Iraq and other Bush crimes.

In the shadow of Lafontaine was Schill, uncomfortably in the role of Chancellor. His victory had been compared to that of Hitler’s by lazy journalists, but he was more a more right wing Berlusconi (who was ironically close to Lafontaine). Schill was, similarly to Lafontaine, suffering from a permanent case of foot-in-mouth disease, but unlike Lafontaine, who always had political skill, his mistakes had the ability to alienate former allies and break coalitions. His attempt to legalize marijuana angered the socially conservative CSU (and gave them some ideas that harkened back to the good old days of Strauß), while his fury and cuts to foreign aid hurt him with international allies. However, he grew more and more unpopular, and being caught speeding high off cocaine completely shifted his administration. Outrage as pages upon pages of corruption, addiction, and racism flooded the news anger grew within Germany. The CSU and FDP overthrew him
eventually, and despite Schill’s attempts to stay in office with some kind of violent response, his popularity bottomed out, and Schill decided to flee to South America. The CSU picked up the pieces, as Erwin Huber was allowed to hold the Chancellorship for a change. The taste of power and increasingly toxic relationship with the CDU gave the CSU their feelings of independence again - soon their dreams of a national party would become reality, but, along with Schill, would doom German conservatism for a generation.

1998-2007: Oskar Lafontaine (SPD-PDS-Green)
1998 def. Helmut Kohl (CDU/CSU), Lothar Bisky (PDS), Joschka Fisher (Green), Wolfgang Gerhardt (FDP)
1999: Lafontaine “slashes” German immigration quotas, is criticized by various social liberals as a “new fascist”.
2001: Robert Mugabe is overthrown in UK-backed coup. Lafontaine criticizes the coup and in particular the “surge” in white “Rhodies” returning to the state. He famously states “If Germany is to repent for past sins… it is only right that Britain does the same”, causing a firestorm of controversy.
2001: Ronald Schill and the CDU sweep Hamburg elections, winning a 2-seat majority over a split opposition. Schill’s bombast and nationalism lead him to be compared to many controversial figures, including Adolf Hitler and Enoch Powell.
2004 def. Friedrich Merz (CDU/CSU), Edzard Schmidt-Jortzig (FDP), Joschka Fischer (Green), various (PDS)
2004: After failure to win 2004 election, CDU sees massive growth in far right “Schillist” figures, who blame the loss on Merz’s more moderate positions
2005: Ronald Schill wins CDU leadership in upset. His controversial politics lead to a growth in moderate CDU members joining the FDP.
2006: The FDP, seeing an increase in popularity, nominates their leader, Wolfgang Kubicki, for Chancellor. This is generally met with resentment, but the German political establishment, fearing either an extended Lafontaine administration or a Schill government, heavily backs FDP.

2006-2008: Ronald Schill (CDU/CSU-FDP)
2008-2008: Ronald Schill (CDU/CSU Minority)
2006 def. Oskar Lafontaine (SPD), Wolfgang Kubicki (FDP), Joschka Fisher (Green)
2007: Germany “slashes” foreign aid as Schill promotes “Germany First”.
2007: Marijuana legalization fails, CSU begins to get “impatient” with Schill.
2007: Strikes are attempted across Germany, and are broken by German forces. Riots break out in opposition to Schill.
2008: Oskar Lafontaine is replaced by the more moderate Klaus Wowereit as SPD leader.

2008-2009: Erwin Huber (CSU/CDU leading Grand Coalition)
2009-2018: Klaus Wowereit (SPD-FDP-Green)
2009 def. Erwin Huber (CSU/CDU), Philipp Rösler (FDP), Jürgen Trittin (Green)
2013 def. Philipp Rösler (FDP), Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU), Jürgen Trittin (Green), Peter Tauber (CDU)
2015 def. Christian Linder (FDP), Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU), Cem Özdemir (Green), Stefan Mappus (CDU)

2018-????: Hans-Ulrich Rülke (FDP-Green-CDU)
2018 def. Klaus Wowereit (SPD), Albert Füracker (CSU), Antje Buschschulte (Green), Stefan Mappus (CDU)

~~~~~~~~

2001-2005: George W. Bush / Dick Cheney (Republican)
2005-2009: George W. Bush / Bill Owens (Republican)
2000 def. Al Gore / Joe Lieberman (Democratic), Ralph Nader / Winona LaDuke (Green)
2001: September 11 Attacks occur
2001: Semi-autonomous Department of Homeland Security is formed by PATRIOT Act, led by former governor Bill Weld (R-MA)
2003: United States invades Iraq over WMDs
2004: Dick Cheney steps down from Vice President spot to serve as Secretary of State, is replaced by Bill Owens, governor of a key swing state.
2004 def. Wesley Clark / John Kitzhaber (Democratic)

2009-2017: Geoffrey Fieger / Jim Hodges (Democratic)
2008 def. Bill Owens / Laura Lingle (Republican), Michael Bloomberg / Joe Lieberman (Decency)
2012 def. Rick Santorum / Paul Thurmond (Republican)

2017-????: David Stockman / Connie Mack IV (Republican)
2016 def. Harold Ford Jr. / John Edwards (Democratic)
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insane to me that stacey abrams went from darling of the democratic party to basically the james d martin of the new southern reversion
furiously typing in “john bel edwards = winthrop rockefeller” so fast the cia decides i’m an immediate threat to human society and detonates the chip in my brain
 

#goals
 
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