- Pronouns
- it/its (you'll get used to the third person thing)
I mean i know you are but what's your characterI am the Ulster loyalist version of Carlos the Jackal
I mean i know you are but what's your characterI am the Ulster loyalist version of Carlos the Jackal
You have the Monetarists versus One Nation types as well as Law and Order versus My We Shouldn’t Shot Tony Benn types.thing is that i know nothing about the opposition in the 60's and 70's. while i could blindly stumble through in the case of Blair because the tories had a clear divide over europe, and while i'd love to make a "Wilsonpunk" list (which would honestly come to closest to actual cyberpunk), i legit have no idea what to do with the opposition
Well that and Bryan Gould ties with only Michael Meacher in ‘Post 81’ Left Wing Labour Leader that doesn’t immediately lead to AES or Roy Jenkins shitting himself’@Time Enough
View attachment 36022
i'm so sorry
(I suppose the main difference is that you actually appreciate Gould's economic theory, while I despise most things Ken stands for.)
Zoe came to the door of a small, unassuming household, positioned at the top of a small street. Silton, despite it's clearly quite Tory nature, was at least a place where you could tell who you might be able to swing. The unfortunate thing was, of course, no one voted for council elections anyway. A brief knock, followed by a wait. It took about a minute for someone to come to the door, someone who was clearly a teenage boy. First thing Zoe noticed was the hair. She was no stranger to dyed hair, but his was a spectacular shade of blue, and long, spreading to his shoulders. Second thing she noticed was his seeming unawareness of his surroundings. The hallway leading to the door was clean as a whistle, but the boy at the door seemed to be in the middle of something, his t-shirt on backwards, and with his shorts, quite clearly covered in paint stains."Never mistake the enthusiasm of the minority for the support of the majority." - Neil Kinnock
"Blair? Really? The boring fucker?" Louis dived back into their crisps, took out a couple, and threw them into their mouth.
"Clean, smartly dressed, very polite, he would have attracted the right kind of people." Zoe replied.
The room was dingy. A small poster on the wall declaring the one great achievement of the Southwest Wiltshire Labour Party, the massive council by-election scalp of 2015, from before Zoe got in. The single bulb with its manky lampshade cast yellow light around the room.
"Right." Louis said, balling up the now empty bag of crisps. "My idea is..." They sat and thought for a moment. "Hear me out here. Bryan Gould."
Zoe stared into the ceiling. "Bryan Gould... remind me?"
Louis sighed, as they were one to do when someone was wrong about something. "The Kiwi."
"Oh, the market socialist guy? Did he have enough charisma?"
"I don't know, I think he was funny. I read his memoirs."
"'Course you did." Zoe smirked. "Did you read any bloody fiction this year?"
Louis glanced sideways at Zoe. "I read the Alan Partridge book."
"Doesn't count."
A buzzing noise erupted across the room, barely overtaking the hum of the electric light overhead. Zoe breathed in, and answered her phone.
"Hi, Mary. No, we aren't busy."
Louis flapped their hands about rapidly from across the room at this admittance of guilt. Zoe shot daggers at him.
"Yes, I'm able to deliver leaflets. Are they in the cupboard?"
Louis put their head in their hands.
Zoe rolled her eyes. "No, the other cupboard. Yeah. I'll be there in a second. See you soon."
"You like Mary."
"Fuck off, are you twelve?"
"Mentally, yes."
Zoe once again shot daggers at the joint Disabilities Officer and Equalities Officer of the CLP.
"We were having a perfectly good time." Louis leaned back in their chair.
"Party calls, Louis."
"So does Mary."
Zoe got up, and grabbed the jacket draped against the back of her chair. "Come on, Louis. We're never going to win another seat on the council if we don't hold the one we have now. You know that Mary's in trouble, and she needs support."
"Counterpoint: It's raining."
"Please just do this, Louis."
"I'm fucking with you. I'm heading out too."
Louis lifted themselves off the chair. "Nothing I can do here alone, anyway."
Zoe grimaced. She didn't entirely believe them.
====
Not anything permanent, just an attempt to write... something. It's pretty hard to find pure rules of organisation of CLPs without diving into the Labour rulebook, so I mostly picked what actually goes on in them by osmosis. I probably got a ton wrong lmao. Characters are not permanent, and in traditional me style, I changed their genders multiple times over. If I make something serious out of this, I'll probably actually figure out a plot first, lol.
Yeah, as much as I like to propose Ken, in terms of not returning to london local government he is a creature who screams "dodgy left wing junior minister pick hounded upon by the press and barely kept in check kicked out after two years of causing constant trouble"Well that and Bryan Gould ties with only Michael Meacher in ‘Post 81’ Left Wing Labour Leader that doesn’t immediately lead to AES or Roy Jenkins shitting himself’
@Time Enough sorry for the second mention in this thread tonight, I just can’t let this pass by without your opinionin an attempt to feed @bd_roberts
i wrote up the lyrics to an entire "song" about the labour party from 1979 to now
Geoffrey, why are we in such a state nowadays? We had come so far!
piano keys tinkle
Well, Jean, it's simple enough.
Guitars kick in
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '79,
WHEN CALLAGHAN MADE HIS STAND,
EVERYONE TOOK THE LOSS AND BLAMED IT ON THE RIGHT,
THEY HAD CERTAINLY OVERPLAYED THEIR HAND
THE BATTLES THAT TOOK PLACE IN 1981
SURELY LEFT US BADLY EQUIPPED
IT REALLY LEFT US SHAKEN, ABSOLUTELY DONE
WHEN THE GANG OF FOUR RESIGNED THE WHIP
OH AND THAT LEFT, THOSE RUDDY BASTARDS IN THE RED,
YOUR TONY BENNS AND LIVINGSTONES
THEY TOOK THE CONSTITUTION, AND TURNED IT ON IT'S HEAD,
THEY WERE LIKE LITTLE LOONY DRONES
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THE RIGHT HAD TAKEN OVER, AND DRIVEN IT OFF THE EDGE
OH, WITH THEIR MODERATE CRAP
AND AS THE GRASSROOTS PUSH BEGAN TO MAKE A LOT OF HEAD
THEY AT LAST FINALLY SNAPPED
THEY DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO DEMOLISH LOCAL POWER,
DESTROYED ALL OUR VALUES JUST LIKE A GROUP OF COWARDS,
FILTERED ALL THEIR GARBAGE THROUGH MEANINGLESS TERMS A
ND DRESSED IN SUITS AND TIES, LIKE AN INSURANCE FIRM
IN CAME RIGHTY NEIL WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER,
WITH NEC REFORMS KEPT IN A MANILA FOLDER,
DEMOCRACY AND SOCIALISM OFF THE RECORD,
WITH NATIONALISATION PLASTERED ON THE DARTBOARD
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THROUGH THATCHER AND MAJOR, AND INTO BLAIR
BRITAIN NEEDED HEALING, AND TO BE FREE AND FAIR
PEACE IN NORTHERN IRELAND, AND MASS DEVOLUTION
AND NHS INVESTMENT, A REAL REVOLUTION
BUT OF COURSE THAT IGNORES VOTER ID
SINGLE PARENT CUTS AND MEN OVERSEAS
SHAKING HANDS WITH MURDOCH AND GIVING LEFTISTS THE SACK
AND WHO COULD OF COURSE FORGET INVADING IRAQ
NOW IT'S YEARS ONWARD AND EVERYONE FEARS,
THROUGH BROWN, THROUGH ED, THROUGH JEZ, AND NOW ONTO KEIR,
THAT LABOUR SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF POWER
AND THAT THE ROSE SHALL BE A FOREVER DYING FLOWER
SO THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF HOW LABOUR HAD LOST IT'S WAY
OH, THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF WHY WE STILL CAMPAIGN TODAY
piano run
this took me twenty minutes
It’s fine.@Time Enough sorry for the second mention in this thread tonight, I just can’t let this pass by without your opinion
I'm mailing this to elton johnin an attempt to feed @bd_roberts
i wrote up the lyrics to an entire "song" about the labour party from 1979 to now
Geoffrey, why are we in such a state nowadays? We had come so far!
piano keys tinkle
Well, Jean, it's simple enough.
Guitars kick in
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '79,
WHEN CALLAGHAN MADE HIS STAND,
EVERYONE TOOK THE LOSS AND BLAMED IT ON THE RIGHT,
THEY HAD CERTAINLY OVERPLAYED THEIR HAND
THE BATTLES THAT TOOK PLACE IN 1981
SURELY LEFT US BADLY EQUIPPED
IT REALLY LEFT US SHAKEN, ABSOLUTELY DONE
WHEN THE GANG OF FOUR RESIGNED THE WHIP
OH AND THAT LEFT, THOSE RUDDY BASTARDS IN THE RED,
YOUR TONY BENNS AND LIVINGSTONES
THEY TOOK THE CONSTITUTION, AND TURNED IT ON IT'S HEAD,
THEY WERE LIKE LITTLE LOONY DRONES
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THE RIGHT HAD TAKEN OVER, AND DRIVEN IT OFF THE EDGE
OH, WITH THEIR MODERATE CRAP
AND AS THE GRASSROOTS PUSH BEGAN TO MAKE A LOT OF HEAD
THEY AT LAST FINALLY SNAPPED
THEY DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO DEMOLISH LOCAL POWER,
DESTROYED ALL OUR VALUES JUST LIKE A GROUP OF COWARDS,
FILTERED ALL THEIR GARBAGE THROUGH MEANINGLESS TERMS A
ND DRESSED IN SUITS AND TIES, LIKE AN INSURANCE FIRM
IN CAME RIGHTY NEIL WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER,
WITH NEC REFORMS KEPT IN A MANILA FOLDER,
DEMOCRACY AND SOCIALISM OFF THE RECORD,
WITH NATIONALISATION PLASTERED ON THE DARTBOARD
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THROUGH THATCHER AND MAJOR, AND INTO BLAIR
BRITAIN NEEDED HEALING, AND TO BE FREE AND FAIR
PEACE IN NORTHERN IRELAND, AND MASS DEVOLUTION
AND NHS INVESTMENT, A REAL REVOLUTION
BUT OF COURSE THAT IGNORES VOTER ID
SINGLE PARENT CUTS AND MEN OVERSEAS
SHAKING HANDS WITH MURDOCH AND GIVING LEFTISTS THE SACK
AND WHO COULD OF COURSE FORGET INVADING IRAQ
NOW IT'S YEARS ONWARD AND EVERYONE FEARS,
THROUGH BROWN, THROUGH ED, THROUGH JEZ, AND NOW ONTO KEIR,
THAT LABOUR SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF POWER
AND THAT THE ROSE SHALL BE A FOREVER DYING FLOWER
SO THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF HOW LABOUR HAD LOST IT'S WAY
OH, THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF WHY WE STILL CAMPAIGN TODAY
piano run
this took me twenty minutes
in an attempt to feed @bd_roberts
i wrote up the lyrics to an entire "song" about the labour party from 1979 to now
Geoffrey, why are we in such a state nowadays? We had come so far!
piano keys tinkle
Well, Jean, it's simple enough.
Guitars kick in
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '79,
WHEN CALLAGHAN MADE HIS STAND,
EVERYONE TOOK THE LOSS AND BLAMED IT ON THE RIGHT,
THEY HAD CERTAINLY OVERPLAYED THEIR HAND
THE BATTLES THAT TOOK PLACE IN 1981
SURELY LEFT US BADLY EQUIPPED
IT REALLY LEFT US SHAKEN, ABSOLUTELY DONE
WHEN THE GANG OF FOUR RESIGNED THE WHIP
OH AND THAT LEFT, THOSE RUDDY BASTARDS IN THE RED,
YOUR TONY BENNS AND LIVINGSTONES
THEY TOOK THE CONSTITUTION, AND TURNED IT ON IT'S HEAD,
THEY WERE LIKE LITTLE LOONY DRONES
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THE RIGHT HAD TAKEN OVER, AND DRIVEN IT OFF THE EDGE
OH, WITH THEIR MODERATE CRAP
AND AS THE GRASSROOTS PUSH BEGAN TO MAKE A LOT OF HEAD
THEY AT LAST FINALLY SNAPPED
THEY DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO DEMOLISH LOCAL POWER,
DESTROYED ALL OUR VALUES JUST LIKE A GROUP OF COWARDS,
FILTERED ALL THEIR GARBAGE THROUGH MEANINGLESS TERMS A
ND DRESSED IN SUITS AND TIES, LIKE AN INSURANCE FIRM
IN CAME RIGHTY NEIL WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER,
WITH NEC REFORMS KEPT IN A MANILA FOLDER,
DEMOCRACY AND SOCIALISM OFF THE RECORD,
WITH NATIONALISATION PLASTERED ON THE DARTBOARD
BUT THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANNA HEAR MORE
OH, THAT'S JUST ONE SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND EVERYONE'S HEARD IT BEFORE
THROUGH THATCHER AND MAJOR, AND INTO BLAIR
BRITAIN NEEDED HEALING, AND TO BE FREE AND FAIR
PEACE IN NORTHERN IRELAND, AND MASS DEVOLUTION
AND NHS INVESTMENT, A REAL REVOLUTION
BUT OF COURSE THAT IGNORES VOTER ID
SINGLE PARENT CUTS AND MEN OVERSEAS
SHAKING HANDS WITH MURDOCH AND GIVING LEFTISTS THE SACK
AND WHO COULD OF COURSE FORGET INVADING IRAQ
NOW IT'S YEARS ONWARD AND EVERYONE FEARS,
THROUGH BROWN, THROUGH ED, THROUGH JEZ, AND NOW ONTO KEIR,
THAT LABOUR SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF POWER
AND THAT THE ROSE SHALL BE A FOREVER DYING FLOWER
SO THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF HOW LABOUR HAD LOST IT'S WAY
OH, THAT SHOULD BE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY,
OF WHY WE STILL CAMPAIGN TODAY
piano run
this took me twenty minutes
My timezone fits well with that, don't worrynote to self:
do not assume everyone on the internet has your garbage caffeine-fueled sleep schedule when shitposting about british politics at one am
apologies to time enough, i'm not good at recognising certain boundaries and knowing when i've crossed lines.
The rain had stopped by that point, but the narrow hallway to the “Pepton and Treeden Constituency Labour Party Headquarters“ still smelt like fungal rot. Zoe trudged past the empty cardboard boxes scattered around the floor. No one knew where they came from, but new ones appeared every week anyway. The door to the ”meeting area”, the only room they could afford, had a A4 printout with the Labour rose logo on it. Zoe could hear a muffled discussion from behind the door. She sighed, and opened it."
Zoe came to the door of a small, unassuming household, positioned at the top of a small street. Silton, despite it's clearly quite Tory nature, was at least a place where you could tell who you might be able to swing. The unfortunate thing was, of course, no one voted for council elections anyway. A brief knock, followed by a wait. It took about a minute for someone to come to the door, someone who was clearly a teenage boy. First thing Zoe noticed was the hair. She was no stranger to dyed hair, but his was a spectacular shade of blue, and long, spreading to his shoulders. Second thing she noticed was his seeming unawareness of his surroundings. The hallway leading to the door was clean as a whistle, but the boy at the door seemed to be in the middle of something, his t-shirt on backwards, and with his shorts, quite clearly covered in paint stains.
"Hello, is your mother or father there?" Zoe smiled in what at least she thought was a comforting way.
The boy glanced around. "I'm afraid not. My mother's in London and my father's at work."
Zoe maintained her smile. Why was this kid giving so much information? "Well, in that case, could you give this leaflet to your father when he gets home?"
"He's a Tory, you know. He won't listen. But I do have an opportunity for..." The boy waved his hand wildy at Zoe. "You people. There's a climate strike planned for the local Comp, and we're looking for local political support."
Zoe's smile wavered. "Thank you, but-"
"I think you'll find that this is no small affair. We have support in the school's many consittuent cliques. Even the racist lads who kick around a football after school, you know the type, are on our side. We have potential to bring the matter of climate action to the people of Silton as a whole, no matter their..." He laughed slightly. "Political position. My name's Peter, by the way. Never liked it, always seemed a bit passé. You are?"
Zoe's smile had completely fallen by now. Kid thought himself a politician.
"Listen, Peter. What age are you?"
"I don't see the relevance of that fact. I will have you know that despite my age I am a cunning operator. For example, I know the entire political composition of the local CLP, which-"
"I have other doors to knock, Peter. I'll see what we can do about the strike." Zoe exhaled.
"Very good. And by the way, I'm sixteen. Just."
Zoe smiled again. "You remind me of when I was sixteen."
Peter looked back, blankly. "You types always say that."
The door closed. Zoe began to walk away, before turning back, stuffing a leaflet through the letterbox.
Zoe trounced onto the next house. No one was in. She kicked herself for not thinking through running leaflets on a Wednesday at 14:00. Onwards, nonetheless.
================