- You are a monarchist. Republicanism is but a silly fad that was discredited fifty years ago. You idly wonder when will all those republics choose a new king. Or queen. Or monarch of non-binary gender, but that's still a bit
too radical even for 2040. You of course, admire your King, even if he's eccentric.
- You are familiar with globalised names such as Abdul Awstin and Johnny Silverhand, watch programs such as
Spitting Image (a classic!),
Doctor Who,
The Long Voyage and
The Adda Family, play games such as
ParaLives,
TemTem and
Quarter-Life and watch FlixTube on the digitinet extensively. If you're of a younger age, you probably have watched Canadian shows such as
The Factory,
Boundless,
Patel vs. Patel and
Love of the Moon.
- You know how hand-ball is played of course. Who in Britain doesn't? You probably played it extensively when young and at school, and can probably remember the rules if you put your head to it. Lacrosse is that Canadian game you've seen on FlixTube some of the time.
- You count yourself fortunate if you get five weeks of holiday a year.
If you died tonight...
- You're very likely a believer in Allah. You refer to Him as
Dew, not Allah, but you know it means the same thing. You consider yourself one of the "people of straightness" and thus certain for Heaven. If not Muslim, you're probably either Christian or irreligious. Religion is a private thing.
- You consider stuff like Nandos to be fast food, although you're of two minds about their new 'lab chicken' experiment. You still get it anyway because it's cheaper than the actual stuff, and if you are religious, it is guaranteed to be halal.
- You probably have a wrist-teller, an eye-pad and if in an ancestral home probably a television you got hooked up to FlixTube for a subscription fee. Your place is of course, heated in the winter and cooled in the summer. Laundry is for those who don't have self-cleaning clothes, which you do! You don't kill your food, how barbaric [even if you watch it on FlixTube as a guilty pleasure]. Your floor is metal and you eat at a table, sitting on chairs.
- You don't consider most insects and all dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food. At least where you live.
- A bathroom never has a bath in it, unless you live in an ancestral home of course. A shower, a toilet and a sink are customary and expected.
- It seems natural to you that the comm-net and the railways are under public control, and if you're in Castreleon, the flowtubes too.
- The airports are public, but the airplanes are not, although that's getting less profitable those days you hear, and nationalising seems to be on the cards. They're not very good anyway, and you find them rather slow and uncomfortable.
- A multi-party system is natural to you, and you fully expect a government to be that of two or more parties. The inefficiency of the whole thing is of course, expected as well and priced in. Nothing changes much between governments, apart from some rhetoric. Politics is not something you talk about.
- Socialism is just one ideology of many. You may know a fascist friend, but you yourself doesn't personally subscribe to
that thinking.
- There are many races. The King is mixed-race after all, and you're pretty sure the Prime Minister has some foreign blood in her too. The most familiar to you, apart from white people, are of course, Asian people whose ancestors come from the Bartanvi Raj, or even from Japan.
- You think most problems could be solved if only people would put aside their prejudices and work together. You however, think it's unlikely.
- You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court. Unless they're connected with a zaibatsu of course. Then forget about it.
- You'd respect someone who speaks Spanish, German, Dutch or Russian without an insta-translator. You know British, of course, as well as English. You're familiar with French thanks to learning it at school, and probably know one or two Hindi or Japanese words via osmosis.
- Although given everyone has an insta-translator downloaded, you don't get why you had the lessons. And everyone knows British anyway...
- An income tax rate of 35% is pretty high, you would say. But it does pay for the flowtubes, for the railways and for the healthcare.
- School is free up until 18. People often start working part-time jobs when they reach 14. University is theoretically free, but very selective. You can still get in anyway, if you promise to pay off the loans you're forced to take. Most people do this.
- University tends to take three years at least.
Everyone knows that
- Mustard comes in jars. Shaving cream comes in cans. Cow milk comes in plastic jugs. Although you drink soy milk those days, which is cheaper (and easier to find!) and comes in a plastic box instead. You're not sure when people switched to soy from cow, but it must have been recent.
- The date comes first - 7-10-2034. And you know what happened on that day. Although you've seen more and more technology use date last - 2034-10-7, which you're not quite sure about, it feels too wrong to you.
- The decimal point is a dot. A comma is peculiarly
European. Although you have nothing against Europe of course.
- A billion is a thousand million. Or a million million? You're not sure, because you think in lac (hundred thousand) and croti (ten million) instead.
- World War II was somewhat of a just war, although you're not quite sure if the switch from fighting Germany to fighting Russia made any sense.
- You expect marriages to be made for love, although you have heard of those being arranged by third parties. Marriages are traditionally done in mosques of course, even by irreligious people. Even Muslims pick 'best men' and 'bridesmaids', although everyone quietly knows this is a Christian thing.
- If a man has sex with another man, he's certainly not heterosexual. But it is of course, not your business to ask.
- Once you're introduced to someone, you certainly do not call them by their first name. Or
ty them. That's too familiar!
- Beaches are still a thing, you'll admit after a few seconds thinking, but you wonder if anyone still goes there.
- A hotel room has a private shower.
- You're not sure if you like your foreign films subtitled or not. It does add a nice aesthetic, even if it changes nothing.
- If a politician cheats on their significant other, you would consider it a resigning matter. But they won't resign and you know this.
- Most shops take Universal Credit, unless you live in rural areas, where it's hit and miss.
- A company, especially a zaibatsu, has the right to fire anyone it wishes. Unless it's for discriminatory reasons of course, but you've never heard of any stupid enough to make any firing that obvious.
- You eat turkey bacon, of course. And have it crisp.
- Labour Day is the first of May. You're not sure why some people dance around a pole on that day...
Contributions to world culture
- You've probably seen
Stellar Wars,
First Contact,
Home Invasion and
Amelia Bedelia. If under forty, add
Unsung Heroes,
Sharknado,
Fever Crumb and
Sarra Poder to the list. If not, add
The Millionaire Miser,
You've Never Had It So Good,
Saving Captain Clement and
Jimmy and the Giant Peanut.
- You can count on excellent medical treatment of course. It's all paid by income tax by the people. Although you've heard good things about Canadian insurance systems, you wouldn't want your beloved National Healthcare to go that way. You're not going to die of stuff like smallpox or cholera and you expect the best effort to save seriously ill babies and elder people. You think dying at 80 would be a tragedy.
- You went over British and Imperial history in school, learning extensively about the native cultures and histories of the wide Empire, as well as that of the World Wars. You're probably unfamiliar with most European history as a result.
- You expect the military to fight wars, not to enter politics. Although you do know some who see this as a tragedy.
- Your country hasn't been conquered by a foreign nation. Although you have learned the moments where it came close. Damn those Dutch!
- You're used to a ridiculously wide variety of things to buy, especially on the digitinet.
- You measure things in metres, tonnes and litres. You know some old people who go "but what's that in real numbers?".
- You're certainly not a farmer, and idly wonder if they still exist.
- Comics come in four variants - the digital dailies, the children's comics, the magazines and the manga. Most tend to feature everyday lives.
- Talk shows are popular on the FlixTube, and often have people from all walks of life on them. You find this a natural concept.
- You drive on the left side of the road, and stop at red lights even if nobody's around. You cross the road at a red light without any fear.
- You think you are a fusion country - Celtic, Latin and Muslim. You see Britain's role as leading the otherwise-disunited Celtic countries into the future, to hold the light of Romanitas and encourage European cooperation, and to protect the faith in its most unlikely places.
- Canada to you is this big and exciting country that seem to invent every new doohickey that gets popular. You would like to visit it one day.
- You consider the Tesla brand of cars to be boringly average.
- The police are only armed when the Threat Level is Critical. Otherwise, they are unarmed. You've seen armed police way too much for your comfort.
- People overall are slim, even if they eat a lot, because of very standard genetic manipulation.
- The biggest meal of the day is the evening. Although that those days are mostly takeaways.
- The nationality people most often make jokes about are the English. They return the favour, so it's all right.
- Thanks to floating law enforcement drones, all parts of the city are safe at night. But you wouldn't want to test that assertion.
Outside the Valleys
- You would like your people to be listened to more in Castreleon sure, but you turn your eyes to your regional government instead.
- You wouldn't expect inflation and unemployment to be high at the same time.
- You would care mildly what family someone comes from if you're of a traditional mold. Most people don't.
- The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.
- Opera and ballet are rather high-brow entertainment, but you'll admit you have watched a livestream on FlixTube of one or the other.
- Solstice is in the winter. You know at a certain level that it isn't 100% Muslim, but you don't care. You celebrate it at home, with your family.
- The state religion is of course, the local variety of Ibadi Islam, but they don't really make much of a fuss those days.
- You would laugh at the idea of naming all the capitals of Europe. For one, by what standard, what with all those civil wars?
- You are extensively familiar with manga and anime, and take pride in the British
sumodelw as the local variety of anime.
- You've pinged people repeatedly to get their attention.
- Taxis are driven by AI, which tend to make poor conversants.
- You are of the firm belief that people should make their own living, and use welfare only as an aid, not as a crutch. Of course, you are also acutely aware of income inequality, but that's what progressive taxation is for!
- If you want to be a doctor, you need to get a bachelor's first.
- There's not enough lawyers for all the cases you see going around.
Space and Time
- If you have an appointment, the latest you can arrive is twenty minutes with the most generous of people. Anything after that is by anyone's standards inexcusable. Being on time is ideal, but some allowance is made of course, roughly up to ten minutes on average.
- Your personal space in conversations is roughly around sixty centimetres. Anyone closer than that makes you uncomfortable.
- Haggling is a prized art, but given most purchases are done digitally, it's increasingly a lost one.
- Invitation to someone else's place is widely expected before you go there, especially after you become an adult.
- You have consoled people from faraway places on the digitinet, it brings people together.
- If you have an appointment with someone, you reasonably expect that to be exclusive, for you to have their complete attention.
