• Hi Guest!

    The costs of running this forum are covered by Sea Lion Press. If you'd like to help support the company and the forum, visit patreon.com/sealionpress

Review: Alternate Presidents

Three things:

1: I've read this book before.
2: I know the name Barry Malzberg from the time when he, purely for the money, wrote a fourteen-part men's adventure series called "Lone Wolf" where he deliberately made the protagonist even crazier and less sympathetic than the genre norm out of contempt.
3: I like the cover.
 
It's interesting how there seem to be a few 'AH classics' anthologies I've heard a lot about, but have never read and are out of print - Back in the USSA being another, which has also been reviewed on here.

I only half jokingly suggested that at some point @Meadow should try to contact the copyright holders and ask if they want to republish as an ebook via SLP, complete with new Roem covers.
 
Worth comparing to @zaffre's review in The Book Cafe:
Zaffre takes on something a lot more topical than usual, i.e. the anthology Alternate Presidents, published in 1992 with fully 28 stories about presidential elections going differently.

Have actually owned this for a while, although I haven't read it in ages because the quality is (as I am about to get to) a bit spotty. Without further ado:

(1789) The Father Of His Country

A nice short opener to kick it off - Ben Franklin is chosen first president and promptly gets all Bully Pulpit and writes appeals to the public on tariffs and stuff. Vice President John Adams gets pissy that the people have any say in government. Implausible, but not as much as the lot of other stuff and I really don't have much to say about an unsubtle aesop that the other Founders didn't *like* democracy because sure.

(1800) The War Of '07

This is more like it. Burr convinces Hamilton to swing support to him in 1800 by talking about his plan to conquer Canada. Then he prepares that for literally seven years (up to investing in Bushnell's turtle submarines) and promptly stomps Canada flat. Burr then marries Pauline Bonaparte to get the Floridas as a dowry and (somehow) contrives for Vice President Hamilton to get killed in the British invasion of DC while he's off in NYC getting married. Via distant epilogue Burr then gets re-elected up until his death in 1836 and is succeeded by his grandson in what is essentially a pseudo-monarchy. This is a fun mix of inspired (a Bonaparte sibling marrying the President is *just* enough out there to be possible, I feel like) and stupid (Burr/Hamilton is bullshit, and not the last time a writer is going to propose a NY / NY ticket that is literally unconstitutional).

(1824) Black Earth and Destiny

George Washington Carver and young Henry Wallace are having a conversation about these biopunk earthworms Carver invented. Then (racist) scientists from the Hermitage Institute arrive to get Carver to join them because, whaddaya know, when Jackson won in 1824 he was so fascinated by the New Orleans idea of "alligator cannons" that he founds an institute of biological research, which means that Gregor Mendel's work is accepted decades early. I would be more generous to the story if this aside about 1824 wasn't inserted in the most awkward way possible, i.e. Carver going "huh I bet if he had lost in 1824 he would have been so bitter he never would have invested in this 4 years later", which, yeah, I too routinely bring up how elections from 70 years ago would have gone in casual conversation. Carver ends up going to work for Booker T. Washington instead of the racists though. Maybe the most inspired work in here?

(1828) Chickasaw Slave

Davy Crockett is elected in 1828 in an awkward alliance between poor whites and the Northern pro-Indian lobby, and the Trail of Tears never happens. A few years later our hero Levi Colbert (chickasaw, per the title) helps his family slave Watty Colbert escape to freedom, i.e. by taking him to ex-President Crockett's house where Crockett somehow has ties to the underground railroad. Levi Colbert runs into Watty again in the 1850s when they're serving on opposite sides in the Civil War, and Watty explains that he ended up on Daniel Webster's farm somehow and convinced Webster not to compromise on slavery, hence the Civil War happened like a decade early. Then Levi gets killed in the Battle of Lawrenceburg, the South wins independence, and the whole story is told to his fiance via one of those "dead soldier note" things. I like this, mostly? The look at Native American slavery is interesting and Crockett's characterization mostly makes sense aside from the slavery bit. Don't really think it needed a second POD but whatever.

(1848) How The South Preserved The Union

This one is cheating because Lewis Cass doesn't win - instead Fillmore and Taylor both die in an accident in 1849 when their carriage crashes down a hill and into a stream or whatever. This is why the Vice President usually travels in a second carriage. Anyway, we get our favorite accidental president, David Rice Atchison (I am staring directly at the camera) and the North promptly secedes. As our narrator so wisely informs the cabinet, "the real reason is the same as that for any way throughout history - economics... greedy industrialists in New England intend to make sure their control is complete. They fear Southern and Western factories full of cheap slave labor will put them out of business". As a result this rebellion is led by barbaric General John Brown (literally a nobody in 1849) and President Daniel Webster, who has been fiendishly bribed by the rich anti-slavery lobby (what) and goes really well until David Atchison has the bright idea of freeing all the slaves and then beats the North into submission, because what they really wanted was northern domination. This is probably the most racist work in here? I really can't tell if the author is going with "wacky ATL operates by different logic" or sincerely believes this?

(1856) Now Falls The Cold, Cold, Night

Buchanan has a stroke and in the chaos Fillmore gets elected as a compromise (this is weirdly much more plausible than most of the alternate elections, moving on). In the background Fillmore is *really* pushing the Fugitive Slave Act and an Immigration Act, while in the foreground a federal agent is trying to hunt down "Mr. Green" at an Albany boardinghouse. His target slips away and leaves a note revealing that he is, of course, the rather canny John Brown and that he regrets the amorality of his pursuer - Fillmore also ends up declaring martial law and the North secedes, led by President Fremont (plausible-ish) and General Sherman (no). Very good stuff, although "Fillmore replaces Buchanan" comes across as "how is he any worse, exactly" to me. Side note, this is one of those fun cases where two stories in a row characterize the same person drastically different ways, i.e. John Brown (or Webster before him, I suppose) - for allohistorical irony Brown also ends up hanging in both stories.

(1860) Lincoln's Charge

Lincoln loses in 1860 because laryngitis makes him miss debates (what debates) and the stress of the campaign makes Mary Todd Lincoln run off the podium "literally frothing at the mouth" (inadvertant lol). Refreshingly enough, the consequence isn't Instant Northern Secession, instead Douglas wins and bollixes things up worse than OTL by not trying to fight at first - things get bad enough that Grant is trying to hold off Pemberton and Jackson in Cincinnati. In comes militia General Lincoln for his first battle, understandably quite depressed that he fucked up his campaign so badly this is happening - he ends up leading a charge on the center that breaks the other army, but dies and finds inner piece or whatever. This has a fantastic premise, to my mind. Douglas' civil war is something we don't get nearly enough of, and General Lincoln, like Burr marrying a Bonaparte, is just out-there enough that I like seeing it explored (sidenote, yeah Lincoln joked about having no battle experience OTL, but he was a captain of the volunteer militia back in the Black Hawk War, and more to the point if he loses the election he's not in any office - I doubt he's just going to go back to lawyering). I think the premise is a bit sunk by dull writing and the fact that, honestly, it deserves more space to be explored - give me Lincoln serving under McClellan, please.

(1872) We Are Not Amused

Women's suffrage passes in 1870, Grant is limited to one term, and Horace Greeley literally fucks a duck (the author wants to imply this, I don't know why) so Victoria Woodhull gets elected by the Equal Rights Party in 1872. Queen Victoria promptly looks on aghast as President Woodhull creates the Secretary of Love and Secretary of Religious Freedom and gives land back to the Native Americans and Prince Bertie announces he is free love and stuff. For some reason the writer thinks Disraeli was a Liberal and Gladstone was a Conservative, which bothers me, but whatever. Funny, I guess?

(1876) Patriot's Dream

It's the question I know you've longed to ask - how would a Samuel J. Tilden presidency have gone had he a) married someone 40 years younger than him (this bit is plausible, creepily) and b) been constantly haunted by nightmarish dreams of a dystopian future he had to avoid (uh, yeah). The answer is he becomes really Good and Woke and the Liberal Party he founds is anti-racist and stuff and led by Grover Cleveland / Susan B. Anthony. Eventually at the end he gives a speech nominating her for VP and has a happy dream as he dies. Idk man.

(1880) I Shall Have A Flight To Glory

Tilden runs again in 1880 and when Garfield tells Roscoe Conkling to fuck off before the electors have even met (Garfield was principled but not, er, this principled) Conkling immediately swings the NY electors to vote for Samuel J. Tilden / Chester Alan Arthur (YOU LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS IT IS IN THE CONSTITUTION). Garfield promptly goes to meet with Tilden who (alternate characterizations again) has been so embittered by loss to Hayes that he is basically Satan now. Charles Guiteau, who has wormed his way into Garfield's confidences in all this chaos (another gem in a rough story - great grasp on Guiteau's fleeting moments of perceptiveness and it is a fun development) ends up persuading Garfield to shoot and kill Tilden himself and then explain the flaws of the Electoral College in his trial. Garfield then goes off to do this. ahaha what the fuck

(1888) Love Our Lockwood

Belva Ann Lockwood gets elected in 1888 and four years later through non-violent resistance President Lockwood gets to vote (and convinces Mrs. Cleveland to vote) and this is triumph for women's rights and stuff. I don't want to be pedantic but, like, how did Lockwood get elected? I really fail to see how women voting is the big deal here when you have apparently elected one as president four years ago.

(1896) Plowshare

William Jennings Bryan wins in 1896, frees Puerto Rico and Hawaii and lets the Philippines be ganked by Japan (oops), doesn't run again in 1900 because he believes the President should only serve one term (lol) and then 20 years later runs to prevent American intervention in World War 2. This story is by far the dullest, although it does have an amusing tidbit of a Teddy Roosevelt that never served in combat writing "The Big Stick" as a wish-fulfillment novel about a war hero that becomes President, which feels more plausible than what happened to Teddy in OTL, frankly.

(1912) The Bull Moose At Bay

President Teddy Roosevelt won the war with Germany in less than a year (this is literally a throwaway line but wtf) but is promptly unpopular and facing defeat in 1916 because he really, really, wants to enfranchise black people, as do fellow Progressives Gifford Pinchot (ok I guess) Elihu Root (no) and Vice Presidential candidate Charles Evans Hughes (YOU LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS IT IS IN THE CONSTITUTION). He talks to Eleanor Roosevelt, who agrees on this (yeah no shit). I don't want to be rude, but this entire story hinges on a wishful characterization of Teddy Roosevelt's racial politics that is stupidly, stupidly, wrong.

(1920) A Fireside Chat

Harding has a stroke or something and in a gripping vignette about James M. Cox - joking, joking, President-Elect Cox then gets stabbed in the heart and FDR becomes President 12 years early, duh. He's pretty good at it too and gets the US to join the League of Nations, although coming down with polio a few years in does briefly impair him (I don't mind this, exactly, but with all the other stupid butterflies going on in other stories it is a shame that literally the most obvious butterfly is not played out here) and leads to Hitler successfully taking power in the Beer Hall Putsch (again, stupid butterfly). They have a summit in Geneva, share awkwardly abstract banter, and Roosevelt reluctantly pushes Hitler into an alliance to tamp down on the disorder in Central Europe. Roosevelt knows he's making a deal with the devil but on reflection, still like, why would he do this at all? I think there's an interesting epilogue to be made (the story doesn't go there) about both Roosevelt and Hitler being in power already when the Great Depression hits, but whatever.

(1924) Fighting Bob

Bob La Follette is elected in 1924 (dunno how) and promptly collided with Congress and died and stuff - seven years later Russell (estranged former family friend) is boosting Joe (not McCarthy, for some reason) to take Bob Jr. Senate seat. He does this by bringing him to amass support at literally La Follette's house? La Follette's wife is there and so is his literal son and this seems like a really dumb place to try and fundraise but whatever. The awkwardness is ended in one of the few actual twists in this book when Russell's Klan buddies promptly try to lynch someone in the nearby woods and the confrontation understandably scares Joe away. Russell has shamed reflection at the end and reconciles with Philip La Follette. Good character interaction I guess?

(1932) Truth, Justice and the American Way

What's the *real* consequence of FDR not being elected? (This is a theme that will come up a second time, unfortunately). It's not the Great Depression or WW2 or anything, since Stimson gets Hoover into a war with Japan in '34 and the generals kill Hitler in '38. Nope, it's that everyone is really really anti-semitic and racist. Our unnamed President and unnamed Secretary of State are trying to appoint Rosenman (Jewish) ambassador somewhere and literally can't find a country, and also they hate him. I dunno - "no WWII = awkward still normalized anti-semitism" is a take I have a lot of time for, but when you try to attribute it to FDR as his *main* accomplishment it feels weird - I'm pretty sure most other liberal Democrats / Republicans were pushing in the same direction as well.

(1936) Kingfish

Huey Long wins (boo). John Nance Garner is his veep and watches in sort of amused horror as Long concocts a plan for Hitler that is literally just "invite him to American soil and then have him shot and pretend it wasn't us". This fails immediately and Germany declares war. I don't like Huey Long but this is a refreshing subversion tbh? "Assassination patsy" going immediately wrong is a nice counter-example to every time it happens in a story, and a sort of manic Huey declaring "we're going to save them all" sets up an interesting WWII I guess.

(1944) No Other Choice

FDR dies early, Dewey wins and inherits the atomic bombs. He decides to invite Japanese observers to a drop on an uninhabited island to save lives. Seeing it is horrifying. They then refuse to surrender at all (accurate) leaving him basically no other choices but to invade or escalate to dropping the bomb on Tokyo itself (inaccurate but I get where the writer is coming from). Dewey ultimately decides to drop it, killing eight million to save one million, and desperately wishes that instead of President he was somebody, anybody else. Nice, fairly horrifying case of "someone with a modern mentality on nukes probably handles the situation far worse", although in all honesty I can't see Dewey as that person.

(1948) The More Things Change...

What if truman got laryngitis and dewey made a big deal of alger hiss and then he held up a newspaper saying "Truman Defeats Dewey" at the end omg haha. Surprised that this one was not Turtledove.

(1952) The Impeachment of Adlai Stevenson

Ike picks Joe McCarthy for VP in 52, it realistically goes badly, and Stevenson is elected. He holds on through '56 but lefty foreign policy and eggheadism come back to bite him and both parties are willing to impeach him for, essentially, being bad. He gives in like a wimp and resigns and his speechwriter, annoyed, resolves that he'll work for someone who's too dumb to know when to quit, like that Senator Nixon fellow. Dumb and stuff, but I think a deconstruction of a crappy Stevenson presidency has potential in general.

(1960) Heavy Metal

Stream of consciousness JFK campaign yooo. Bobby periodically goes "aw geez Jack" while Jack is on speed pretty much all the time and significantly more entertaining than I am making it sound. Daley confronts him at one point and tells him to stop fucking around because there could be a scandal. I am going to stop right here and point out that this is the single stupidest moment in a book that literally has David Rice Atchison freeing the slaves. Anyway, Jack says "Go and play with the fishes. I don't give a fuck for you and your shit" and stuff. Daley throws Illinois to Nixon and he wins. Given that this isn't actually enough for Nixon to win there is arguably an even funnier TL out there where Jack goes "fuck it" and wins at the end anyway, but whatever.

(1964) Fellow Americans

Goldwater won in 64 (LBJ's scandals actually matter somehow) and used tactical nukes in Vietnam. That's actually not relevant at all though? The main POVs are RFK (old Governor of New York City who hasn't run for pres. until 1992) and Nixon (applied his bitter determination to TV instead of politics and has a comedy show where he takes rigged lie detector tests for like 20 years) and it's well-written and all, but I really don't see the point of writing a President Goldwater story that assumes everything goes basically the same down to George H.W. Bush being elected.

(1968) Dispatches From The Revolution

The most classically "AH" story here, both for the year and for being a pointlessly grim slog where RFK lives only to get shot by police at the Democratic Convention, a counterculture bomb goes off that kills Johnson and Humphrey and everybody and the military just goes "fuck it" and seizes power forever and stuff.

(1972) Suppose They Gave A Peace...

McGovern wins and immediately pulls out of Vietnam, although the focus is on a sort of Archie Bunker-esque dad in Ohio whose son dies in the evacuation of Saigon giving up his seat to his (Vietnamese) daughter-in-law and grandson, who the dad ultimately accepts. Very well-written and touching, actually, and McGovern's administration losing steam is more plausible than "he suddenly demonstrates amazing political instincts" but I dunno how AH it is to basically describe the Fall of Saigon but two years earlier.

(1972) Paper Trail

Watergate investigation goes faster, G. Gordon Liddy straight up hits Bernstein with a car that CREEP money bought, this sinks Nixon. Boiler-plate stuff, although it does the (thankfully dead now) vignette trend of gUeSs WhO tHe PrEsIdEnT iS with lines like "it had been years since a Democrat had been elected President" (yes, the election before last, the second shortest possible amount of time for this statement to be valid).

(1976) Demarche to Iran

Chad Ford is re-elected, his biggest advisor is a masseuse that convinces him to issue a démarche to Iran over the hostage crisis. Ford promptly sticks his foot in his mouth and threatens to use nukes, Iran shits itself and a crowd literally strangles Rafsanjani to death, and he gets the hostages back in four days with widespread criticism for "overreacting". ATL irony I guess but not really that interesting.

(1984) Huddled Masses

What's the *real* consequence of Mondale being elected? It's not social policy or Russia or whatever, that's too obvious, it's *checks notes*.

*sighs*

Yep, it's THE EVIL SANDINISTAS, because without backing the Contras, communism promptly steamrolls through Honduras, El Salvador, and Guatemala all the way to Mexico, where as of '92 the government is fighting a civil war against CMLA, aka the Mendarists (plausible sounding, but not a real thing at all and your POD is literally eight years ago) and so many Mexican refugees are streaming into the U.S. that the canonical unemployment rate is 23.8% JESUS CHRIST HOW. Our heroes, INS employees leading raids, are just sort of sick of all this. Especially topical now, this is the other contender for "most racist" - it's not condemning the refugees in-text exactly, but if you seriously believe not backing the contras would lead to a quarter of the U.S. being unemployed, something is profoundly wrong with you.

(1988) Dukakis and the Aliens

On his first day in office President Dukakis is taken to Area 51 to meet the many foul, disgusting aliens, ranging from the Short Grays of Zeta Reticulus to the reptiloids. Dukakis himself is a Teal Green from Aldebaran that almost kills the two agents with him - they ultimately reset the Earth Main Sequence Clock a few months to make Bush president as the only hope for saving humanity. This one story alone contains dangerously high percentages of my brand.


Phew. And that's all, folks!
 
It's interesting how there seem to be a few 'AH classics' anthologies I've heard a lot about, but have never read and are out of print - Back in the USSA being another, which has also been reviewed on here.

I only half jokingly suggested that at some point @Meadow should try to contact the copyright holders and ask if they want to republish as an ebook via SLP, complete with new Roem covers.

I've love to see Back in the USSA in print. I tried tweeting at Newman to ask about it awhile back without a reply (not necessarily a surprise given how Twitter seemed to work even pre-Musk). Given how much of his stuff is now available through Titan and USSA being a collaborative project with Eugene Byrne, I've wondered if there might not be a rights issue or something with Byrne keeping it out of print.

Also, very belatedly on my part, I'd like to say that @zaffre's review of Alternate Presidents is better than my own!
 
Just to remind everyone that someone owns a first edition hardcover of Back in the USSA in perfect condition.

_Qg65bAgA8HBh0MbgZitPDx8pa4=.gif
 
It's interesting how there seem to be a few 'AH classics' anthologies I've heard a lot about, but have never read and are out of print - Back in the USSA being another, which has also been reviewed on here.

I only half jokingly suggested that at some point @Meadow should try to contact the copyright holders and ask if they want to republish as an ebook via SLP, complete with new Roem covers.

palpatine-star-wars.gif


Just to remind everyone that someone owns a first edition hardcover of Back in the USSA in perfect condition.

_Qg65bAgA8HBh0MbgZitPDx8pa4=.gif

I have one in good, if not great, condition.
 
Back
Top