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Makemakean Does Various Graphical Things!

Insert Itzhak reference here.

At the cafe at Ångström at Uppsala University these days, they are actually encouraging people to bring their own mugs from home so they don’t have to sell you paper cups, all in the name of environmentalism. It is my lingering suspicion that eventually, they’re going to have to go back to the old system on account of people blatantly abusing the new one.
 
At the cafe at Ångström at Uppsala University these days, they are actually encouraging people to bring their own mugs from home so they don’t have to sell you paper cups, all in the name of environmentalism. It is my lingering suspicion that eventually, they’re going to have to go back to the old system on account of people blatantly abusing the new one.
That or they'll price it by volume.
 
They were punishing you for misremembering your grammatical genders, ouiouioui.

In this country, sir, we would find it cute that a foreigner would mix up the en's and the ett's, offer to switch to English immediately for our visitor's comfort and benefit if they so desired, and if they insisted that they need to practice their Swedish, we would be willing to repeat ourselves twenty times, each time slower, and clearer, and have extra patience to try to decipher their meanings.

After all, a person who doesn't speak Swedish, but is trying to learn it, is the most honoured of guests, worthy of the finest treatment we can give them. And if they wish for a cup of coffee in the French manner, then sir, with all respect, they shall duly fucking have it.
 
Faces of Nordic Reunification

barnabas.jpeg

You are late.

Not that I care, of course, but my employers might not entirely appreciate it when I inform them, as I surely must.

Now, you may call me Barnabas, and as for your mission-…

My employers? What about them?

Oh, dear me…! You think I’m one of those bunglers in Herr Askman’s motley crew? Hehehehehehehehehehe… Oh, my!

Forgive me. Herr Askman and his merry men and women perform a veritably useful public service, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t even know the half of it. And if I perform my job properly, they never will know more than that…

They’re cute, but sometimes I cannot help but roll my eyes…

Now then, I asked you to come here because I need you to-…

My backstory?

Why, I don’t see how that’s important, but if you insist…

I was the son of a well-to-do burgher in Stockholm. My father got me the best tutors there were in history, philosophy, the classics, modern languages, politics and statescraft, even a little natural science. But he never allowed me to be seen by the public, and so kept me hidden from the world. But I was a clever lad, filled with ambition, so I ran away, determined to make my mark, and-…

No wait, sorry! I was confused! I’m actually originally from Wallonia! Yes! See, my parents abandoned me at birth, and I was sold to a circus, where I was a number in their freak show. To be viewed by the masses as a sideshow attraction. A beast, a creature, not even a real human. But I knew my worth, I knew my talents, I knew my potential and abilities, and so I ran away, and-…

Actually! No, no, no! Now, I remember! The real truth of the matter is, I’m not from Wallonia at all! Dear me, do I even sound like French is my native language? No! I’m from northern Italy! There I was the favourite jester at the court of a wealthy nobleman! I would mock them all, call them all out for their hypocrisy and vices and cruelties committed in the name of bravery and statesmanship, and they all thought I was joking, but I meant it all, every single word. Or perhaps they knew I meant it all, and yet they laughed, for I was so harmless in their eyes, couldn’t threaten them? But one night, one night, I poisoned the nobleman’s best stock of wine that he was preparing for a particularly great dinner reception, and as the corpses were yet warm, I made my way out under cover of night, I fled to Sweden, and here, here I-…

Oh, what am I saying! Surely I did nothing so cruel! No! My existence here is far more mythical, almost metaphysical. The truth of the matter is, I am but a latter-day incarnation of the Sons of Ivaldi, which these Swedes’ ancestors, the Vikings, so strongly believed in. Held to be real. And so I became real. Was real. I am a proper dwarf, a master craftsman of the olden days, a trickster and a magical being. My existence depends entirely on people believing in me, and in these times, I must earn the faith in me, and so I-…

Or wait, now that I think about, maybe the story about the Wallonian circus midget was the truth all along? Or maybe the truth of the matter is that I am a Stockholm burgher’s son? Or maybe I really did kill all those people at that Italian dinner reception? Or maybe-…

Well, they all make for compelling narratives nonetheless, don’t they?

The very precise ones you would expect of a mysterious little dwarf…

How about you just pick the one that appeals the most to you?

Or, or…! If none of them are to your liking, how about you just make up your own? Then you can make up the most marvellous story you want, and leave perfectly satisfied as to what my true backstory is!

Now then, as to your mission. Here’s a package of-… information, recently obtained by another person in a situation similar to yours from the office of a fellow with a fancy title at the University of Kiel in the Duchies. What it contains is of no importance to you… But nonetheless, I am going to need you to deliver it to this address.

Yes, that’s all the way over in Finland.

If you fail…?

Well, we’ll kill you, I suppose.

You don’t want to be killed, now do you?
 
Emile_de_Geer.png
Émile De Geer
17951816
Independent Hat
The Ministry of All Headgear
(Hat-Cap-Crown-Helmet-Carpus Composition)
The Great Navigator

Émile started to inspect the big oaken desk, piece by piece, as a carpenter inspecting another man's craftsmanship.

"It is a lot of work before us, Herr Hamilton, and I am very pleased that we finally will have your New Caps onboard."

"They're just called 'Caps' now," said Adolf Ludvig Hamilton, "First the papers called us 'Friends of Herr Hamilton', then it was the 'New Caps'. Now they no longer seem to feel it is worth making any distinction between us and the party of Arvid Horn's that existed before King Gustav's Revolution."

"That's unfortunate, history is being lost, I feel."

"Indeed, as you are a Hat, even though that party also theoretically seized to exist back then."

"Well, I like to think of myself an Independent Hat," said Émile, still studying the desk, going through it drawer by drawer, "But we digress. We have, as I said, a lot of work before us. Nonetheless, I am sure we shall manage. And if you need cheering up, there's a story I once heard that leaves me feeling a bit more optimistic about the future. Do you want to hear it?"

"Pray tell me," said Hamilton, and De Geer took his seat behind the desk.

"So, there's this King, and he asks that a little boy be brought to him, for some reason, because apparently, that's what Kings do. And he asks him, 'How long is eternity?' And the boy answers, they say that in the Land of Svitjod, there exists a mountain made of solid diamond. It takes a day to climb it, and a day to walk around it. And every thousand years, there comes a little bird to sharpen its beak on it. And by the time the mountain thus has been chissled down, the first second of eternity shall have passed." Émile looked towards the window for a second, clearly drawing some comfort in the moment from just telling the story, "Do you understand what I am trying to say, Herr Hamilton?"

"I believe so, Your Excellency. Though it might take time and effort, even a small bird can eventually accomplish the impossible, and so, with a clear purpose in mind, so shall we."

"What?" said Émile, looking rather confused, "No, no. That's not what I'm trying to say at all. Svitjod, you know, Svitjod! That's what the ancient chroniclers used to call Sweden in the Middle Ages! There's a mountain of solid diamond hiding around here somewhere! If we can just find it, then all shall be well!"
 
View attachment 10324
Émile De Geer
17951816
Independent Hat
The Ministry of All Headgear
(Hat-Cap-Crown-Helmet-Carpus Composition)
The Great Navigator

Émile started to inspect the big oaken desk, piece by piece, as a carpenter inspecting another man's craftsmanship.

"It is a lot of work before us, Herr Hamilton, and I am very pleased that we finally will have your New Caps onboard."

"They're just called 'Caps' now," said Adolf Ludvig Hamilton, "First the papers called us 'Friends of Herr Hamilton', then it was the 'New Caps'. Now they no longer seem to feel it is worth making any distinction between us and the party of Arvid Horn's that existed before King Gustav's Revolution."

"That's unfortunate, history is being lost, I feel."

"Indeed, as you are a Hat, even though that party also theoretically seized to exist back then."

"Well, I like to think of myself an Independent Hat," said Émile, still studying the desk, going through it drawer by drawer, "But we digress. We have, as I said, a lot of work before us. Nonetheless, I am sure we shall manage. And if you need cheering up, there's a story I once heard that leaves me feeling a bit more optimistic about the future. Do you want to hear it?"

"Pray tell me," said Hamilton, and De Geer took his seat behind the desk.

"So, there's this King, and he asks that a little boy be brought to him, for some reason, because apparently, that's what Kings do. And he asks him, 'How long is eternity?' And the boy answers, they say that in the Land of Svitjod, there exists a mountain made of solid diamond. It takes a day to climb it, and a day to walk around it. And every thousand years, there comes a little bird to sharpen its beak on it. And by the time the mountain thus has been chissled down, the first second of eternity shall have passed." Émile looked towards the window for a second, clearly drawing some comfort in the moment from just telling the story, "Do you understand what I am trying to say, Herr Hamilton?"

"I believe so, Your Excellency. Though it might take time and effort, even a small bird can eventually accomplish the impossible, and so, with a clear purpose in mind, so shall we."

"What?" said Émile, looking rather confused, "No, no. That's not what I'm trying to say at all. Svitjod, you know, Svitjod! That's what the ancient chroniclers used to call Sweden in the Middle Ages! There's a mountain of solid diamond hiding around here somewhere! If we can just find it, then all shall be well!"
What a well balanced individual.Truly what Sweden needs.
 
What a well balanced individual.Truly what Sweden needs.

The idea with the story is not that Émile De Geer actually thinks that there is a mountain of solid diamond out there somewhere, but rather to indicate that Émile is a kind of person who thinks outside the box, and latches onto ideas and details other people doesn't really notice, while at the same time, this is something of a mixed blessing, and makes him fail to see the obvious.

To a person like Émile De Geer, the story about the bird sharpening it's beak, the notion of there existing a mountain of diamond somewhere in Sweden, that's the point that De Geer takes away from it.
 
The idea with the story is not that Émile De Geer actually thinks that there is a mountain of solid diamond out there somewhere, but rather to indicate that Émile is a kind of person who thinks outside the box, and latches onto ideas and details other people doesn't really notice, while at the same time, this is something of a mixed blessing, and makes him fail to see the obvious.

To a person like Émile De Geer, the story about the bird sharpening it's beak, the notion of there existing a mountain of diamond somewhere in Sweden, that's the point that De Geer takes away from it.

Who is he inspired from?
 
Who is he inspired from?

As Sønderheim is supposed to be "in the spirit" of William Gladstone and Sir Wilfrid Laurier, Émile De Geer is supposed to be "in the spirit" of William Pitt the Younger and Alexander Hamilton, young and ambitious men who greatly shaped the futures of their respective countries, exercising power at pivotal times.

But as his name suggests, he's also partially inspired by Louis De Geer, one of the most important Swedish statesmen of all time, as he was the one who reformed the government into a proper cabinet with a clear leader of government (rather than just having the different Ministers compete with one another for influence), and also abolished the grotesquely archais Riksdag of the Four Estates. Poor De Geer sacrificed most of his friendships to bring about the latter, and would go on to die a rather sad and lonely man, though one who until the end insisted it had all been worth it.
 
To give the whole list, actually:

Niels Preben Bille-Brahe, is supposed to similarly be "in the spirit" of Lord Salisbury, Bismarck, and Gorchakov (deeply reactionary blue-blooded aristocrats who valued playing multipolar foreign policy games with high stakes above all other things);

Nicolas Andersen is supposed to be "in the spirit" of Sir John Macdonald and Benjamin Disraeli, with a bit of Abraham Lincoln (men of humble beginnings whose legacy has more to do with them painting a romantic vision for their countries than their actual policies (though less so with Lincoln of course));

Magnus Björnstjerna is supposed to be "in the spirit" of Lord Wellington and Andrew Jackson (extremely popular military generals who presided over their respective countries at a time of great constitutional upheaval and democratization);

Hjalmar Montelius is supposed to be "in the spirit" of Theodore Roosevelt, in that he was a progressive leader of a fundamentally deeply conservative party who used his position to bring about reform.

Jonathan Leijonhierta is partially inspired by Sir Anthony Eden and Lord Rosebery, in that they took over after much greater leaders, and despite on the paper being highly competent and skilled men (the former in particular), they nonetheless ended up abysmal failures.

Baltzar von Platen the Younger is actually inspired by his namesake, and a plethora of other Swedish artistocratic non-partisans who ended up presiding over governments at various points without leaving much of a legacy.

Robert Falkvinge is basically just inspired by virtually every fundamentally good and competent man who ended up presiding over eras of relative disaster for their countries, and are thus not remembered as fondly as perhaps they deserve. Primarily Herbert Hoover and Arthur Balfour was what I had in mind, but there's also a bit of Jimmy Carter, James Callaghan, John Major, Helmut Schmidt, Martin Van Buren, etc. thrown in there.

Asbjørn Abraham Sønderheim is supposed to be "in the spirit" of William Gladstone and Sir Wilfrid Laurier in that they were both great liberal statesmen who nonetheless both managed to split their respective parties and whose careers ended in tragedy and failure. Other aspects of Sønderheim's personality has similarities to Éamon De Valera (as @Ares96 pointed out), in that as time goes by, he grows increasingly arrogant towards dissent from within his own party, begins to feel himself entitled to power, and the vision he has for his country, as romantic though it may be, is already dated (even comically so) by the time he first pitches it.
 
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I am nowhere near as good a caricaturist as I wish I were. Thus, it is with certain apologies to a certain individual that I make the following installment:

Faces of Nordic Reunification

snedstrup.jpeg

The Society of Sihtric Silkbeard was today proud to announce that they had managed to land famed thespian actor Thomas Snedstrup for the role as their main host for their so-called Great Election Night at Hotel Kronprinsregenten on the twenty-sixth of June, the most anticipated event in Copenhagen Society life of the year. Snedstrup is famous for his work as a Shakespearean actor, having played the titular character in the summer performances of Hamlet at Elsinore Palace (“you haven’t seen Hamlet until you’ve seen it in the original Danish!” to quote the man himself), and was recently made a Knight of the Order of the Dannebrog by Queen Frederikke in honour of his services to theatre.

Speaking in the lobby of the Ridderhus in Copenhagen, the Marquis of Mandal, the society’s honourary president, was eager to downplay rumours that the reason the negotiations had taken so long to sort out had to do with matters relating to Snedstrup’s reimbursement for the evening:

Signori, per favore! I know Tom since long back, and I can vouch for that he hasn’t been trying to skin us! You have to understand that Signor Snedstrup takes on a great risk! Some people are snuffing their noses at us, and accuse us of blatant americanismo in arranging for this little piece of extravaganza. But I assure you, down on the continent, they have a different view on matters like this!”

His Grace the Marquis refused to specify the exact amount that Herr Snedstrup is to receive for the evening, and cut the interview short there.

“If you’ll excuse me, I am in a bit of a fretta to attend the last ever sitting of the Casa dei Cavalieri della Danimarca there will ever be!”

Herr Snedstrup will be joined on stage with Monsieur A. Barthélemy, recently appointed cultural attaché to Copenhagen, who, for the benefit of those members of the audience who do not speak our Danish tongue, will kindly read out the results in French as they come in.
 
Faces of Nordic Reunification

View attachment 9954

The name's Oxenstierna... Gabriel Oxenstierna. Special agent for the Bureau of Peculiar Affairs, codename-...

What do you mean you've never heard of the Bureau of Peculiar Affairs? We're the secret service of the Kingdom of Sweden, operating at the very-...

Accreditation and identification...? Sure, I can give you that, if it'll satisfy you...!

See! There! the BPA is a totally legit and existing organization, and I am in His Majesty's Service as-...

What do you mean it looks fake?! I'll have you know that this badge is an alloy with a secret chemical composition that only-...

Oh for fuck's sake-...!

What's the point of being a secret agent if the agency you work for so is damned secret that nobody knows that it even exists in the first place?!

I think I'm going to have to revise my design of Gabriel Oxenstierna a little. For one thing, he looks too old, but more problematically, I think he looks a bit too silly.

The idea is that he's supposed to be in his mid-30s, and as a son or privilege and nobility, he signed up for the Bureau of Peculiar Affairs hoping for a career as professional sauve spy-secret agent, that his life would be filled with fancy drinks and him travelling all over Europe, assassinating bad guys, and going to bed with beautiful ladies. He was expecting to be James Bond, and yet he found himself being Peter Guillam, and he does appreciate it.
 
By the way, as a quick comment on King/Emperor Arthur being an oil painter (though implied not to be particularly good at it), is not just a reference to Prince Eugen of Sweden, but also a reference to that both Gustav III and Gustav IV Adolf had artistic interests. Gustav III wrote librettos to operas in his spare time, and after his being deposed, Gustav IV Adolf wrote novels. I'm kind of trying to establish it as a running gag that all Nordic monarchs descending from that line have some artistic hobby which they're actually kind of mediocre at.
 
Faces of Nordic Reunification

Two years ago, British India was shocked by a massive rebellion, spearheaded by a remnant faction of the Sikh Empire, led by the Crown Prince, the heir apparent thereof, Prince Deep Singh. The rebellion was struck down, defeated, and Prince Deep died in battle.

The records of the British authorities in India are accurate.

Prince Deep most certainly died.

Rumours that he survived and fled on a Danish passport from out of Frederiksnagore are entirely unfounded.

Prince Deep is dead.

Everyone knows that.

Any silly notions that he is still alive and travelling around in Europe seeking financial backing for his insurrectory activities are absurd.

Nonetheless, if you hear anything of the sort, please contact your nearest British ambassador or consul immediately.

He's dead, of course, do not doubt that.

Definitely dead.

But they would much appreciate to hear whatever you have to say about the matter nonetheless...

singh_deep.png
 
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Faces of Nordic Reunification

Two years ago, British India was shocked by a massive rebellion, spearheaded by a remnant faction of the Sikh Empire, led by the Crown Prince, the heir apparent thereof, Prince Deep Singh. The rebellion was struck down, defeated, and Prince Deep died in battle.

The records of the British authorities in India are accurate.

Prince Deep most certainly died.

Rumours that he survived and fled on a Danish passport from out of Frederiksnagore are entirely unfounded.

Prince Deep is dead.

Everyone knows that.

Any silly notions that he is still alive and travelling around in Europe seeking financial backing for his insurrectory activities are absurd.

Nonetheless, if you hear anything of the sort, please contact your nearest British ambassador or consul immediately.

He's dead, of course, do not doubt that.

Definitely dead.

But they would much appreciate to hear whatever you have to say about the matter nonetheless...

View attachment 10694

And I'm sure Nordic authorities don't take an absolute delight planting all kinds of fake stories all around Europe...

Wouldn't a Sikh be wearing a turban, though?
 
And I'm sure Nordic authorities don't take an absolute delight planting all kinds of fake stories all around Europe...

Wouldn't a Sikh be wearing a turban, though?

Well, if you’re a fugitive from the British Empire, it kind of helps to dispense with some obvious social markers...
 
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