• Hi Guest!

    The costs of running this forum are covered by Sea Lion Press. If you'd like to help support the company and the forum, visit patreon.com/sealionpress

Least favorite alt-history story?

Hendryk

Nothing ever ends
Published by SLP
Location
France
Training exercises:
9. Expect everything potentially dangerous in your house to be experimented with: electrical outlets, cutting implements, the buttons of the gas stove, saucepans full of hot contents, the list goes on.

10. Only wear clothes that can withstand getting stained with food, vomit, and assorted bodily fluids.
 

Archibald

Well-known member
Patreon supporter
9. Expect everything potentially dangerous in your house to be experimented with: electrical outlets, cutting implements, the buttons of the gas stove, saucepans full of hot contents, the list goes on.
Curiously mine was never a daredevil of that kind. He was a cautious kid even before he walked.
Worst thing he did, was to the metallic heater: he managed to removed the rotating button for the temperatures. And fracking hell, me and my wife had a hard time putting it back into place. How he removed it in the first place, remained a mystery. He was pretty proud of this feat... for a very short time at least.

10. Only wear clothes that can withstand getting stained with food, vomit, and assorted bodily fluids.
My kid had that annoying habit to burp small amount of milk right on my wife clothes... when she was already late for work. Every morning of every single day of the first six months we put him at a nanny.
This drove my wife crazy.

It was a bit like a NASA countdown go / no go checklist going bad.

Crew to Capcom: car keys ? GO
Crew to Capcom: flat keys ? GO
Crew to Capcom: food and clothing and toys and everything else for the baby ? GO
Crew to Capcom: Wife ready - GO
Crew to Capcom: Baby ready - GO
Baby - BURPS !!
Crew to Capcom - Oh NO- NOT AGAIN !! Capcom, we have a NO GO here. Wife ready is NO GO, I confirm, NO GO.
Capcom to ground team and launch base - Advise ASAP to proceed with launch or not.
Ground team - Well proceed with launch, we cannot wait, the window to planet workplace is closing fast.
Capcom to crew - Roger. Crew, apply MCU procedure - Minimal Clean Up. And GO for launch.
Crew to Capcom - MCU procedure applied. GO !
 
Last edited:

Omund the Wooden-Leg

Chazadjin Marmaduke Brandybuck
I wish many congratulations to you and your fiancee, Matt. One brief comment on your current proforum life, and suddenly everyone is swapping soviet on how to raise a baby to the age of a toddler. I am - laughing - so - hard. My boss at my workplace has recently become a grandmother. She showed the grandson to everyone who came to the Community Cafe a fortnight ago. He is called Finlay Bilbo MacLean. He has his first illness - a sore throat - now, unfortunately. But he will likely recover soon.
 

Archibald

Well-known member
Patreon supporter
Any story with Bundy ascending into politics by the late 70's now has a big credibility issue... it is called Blondie, and Debbie Harry. If her story is true, and with Blondie ascent into super stardom paralleling that of Bundy political career, sooner rather than (OTL) later (1989 when the monster was mercifully fried on an electric chair) Harry may have some rememberance of that horrible guy and his car... imagine how whacky could the entire story go.

https://www.dazeddigital.com/music/...londie-face-it-memoir-serial-killer-ted-bundy
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
Now, of course, that needs to be a story, Ted Bundy's rise to Political Office X gets national attention and Harry brings this up.

Which considering the time, probably has a lot of police society saying "I can't believe that woman Blondie is spreading lies about Big Ted, this is why REAL victims aren't listened to"
 
I have a horrifying mental image of Ted'll Fix It
"Well, I mean, there were the rumours of course, but we all assumed that they were false. After all, if they were true, someone would come forward, surely? Then of course, it turned out that those rumours were all false. The skeletons that the man actually had in his closet were, err-... well, literal skeletons."
 
The Two Georges. Why does a union of North American and Britain have to be portrayed as technologically way behind the current day? And why are there always zeppelins instead of planes? And cars use steam engines instead of regular gas. What if an alternate reality was technologically up to date in a parallel universe?
 

Indicus

<insert title here>
Pronouns
he/him
The Two Georges. Why does a union of North American and Britain have to be portrayed as technologically way behind the current day? And why are there always zeppelins instead of planes? And cars use steam engines instead of regular gas. What if an alternate reality was technologically up to date in a parallel universe?
I don’t think it is actually technologically way behind the current day. Here's what it says about planes:

Bushell savored his feeling of contentment with the world; he knew it too seldom. He leaned back in his chair, peered out the window once more. Suddenly he pointed. “Look! There’s an aeroplane!”

“Where?” The fat man stared. “Ah, I see it. Not a sight one comes across every day.”

“Not in peacetime, certainly,” Bushell said. The aeroplane flashed by at breathtaking speed, twin wings above and below its lean, sharklike fuselage providing lift. It was gone before Bushell got more than a glimpse of the blue, white, and red roundel on its flank that announced it belonged to the Royal North American Flying Corps.

The fat man puffed moodily on his cigar. “So much speed is vulgar, don’t you think?”

Useful for the military,” Bushell answered. “In civilian life, though, there’s not usually much point to dashing across the continent in ten or twelve hours. You hardly have the time to accomplish anything while you’re traveling.”

“Quite, quite.” The fat man’s jowls wobbled when he nodded. “If you need to get anyplace in such a tearing hurry, chances are you’ve either started too late or, more likely, put less thought into your journey than you should have.”
And here's what it says about TVs:

A patch of light in a dark doorway made Bushell’s head whip around as the steamer passed through an urban stretch. When he saw the doorway belonged to a tavern, he relaxed. “I was afraid that might have been a fire,” he said, “but it’s just a televisor screen.”

“Nothing like getting together with your chums after a hard day, soaking up a pint or two while you watch the cricket matches or rugby or tennis or whatever happens to be showing,” Samuel Stanley said.

“Keep your eyes on the screen and you don’t have to think about what ails you - or much of anything else, come to that.

They passed a trafficator whose wigwag signs gave cars on the cross street the right of way. “Do you know,” Bushell remarked, “one of the airship passengers was boasting at supper last night that he had a televisor screen in his own home.”

His friend turned to stare at him, incredulous distaste on his face. “You are joking, I hope.”

Bushell raised his right hand, as if he were about to stand in the witness box. “Upon my solemn oath.”

The wigwag switched. He put the steamer back into gear.

“Why would anyone want such a thing?” Stanley said, not so much to Bushell as to the world at large.

“Wireless is one thing: you can read or talk or do anything else you care to while it’s on. But a televisor screen ... if it’s showing something, you bloody well have towatch it. Suppose you have guests? I’ve never heard of anything so, so vulgar in all my life, I don’t think. Besides, televisors don’t come cheap. What did this chap do, anyhow?
So, it sounds like the Two Georges is close technologically to OTL, but for some reason, social pressures in the Two Georges mean that planes are exclusively in military use, and TVs are exclusively in bars and other public places.
 

Jared

fatal softener
Published by SLP
Location
Over the rainbow
And why are there always zeppelins instead of planes?
That's how you can tell it's an alternate history - it has zeppelins.

Or more seriously, while zeppelins aren't actually very realistic (they were abandoned for good reason, and not just because of the Hindenburg disaster), they are fun and I'm usually willing to give them a pass in AH stories, particularly novels. I think of them more as flavour than anything else.