fuck taylor gang - not a diss we are just not dickriders
2011 Underground Rappunk:
Barack Obama (Democratic) 2009-2014
Joe Biden (Democratic) 2014-2017
2008 Def. (with Joe Biden) John McCain (Republican)
2012 Def. (with Joe Biden) Mitt Romney (Republican) Mike Bloomberg (Americans Elect) Mike Gravel (Opposition)
Mike Huckabee (Republican) 2017-2025
2016 Def. (with John Thune) Joe Biden (Democratic) Gayle McLaughlin (Green) Justin Raimondo (Mista Thug Isolationism)
2020 Def. (with John Thune) Mike Bebe (Democratic) Jesse Ventura (Green-Mista Thug Isolationism)
Michael Flynn (Democratic) 2025-2033
2024 Def. (with Janet Napolitano) John Thune (Republican) Chuck Fager (Independent Democrat) Angela Walker (Green)
2028 Def. (with Janet Napolitano) Doug Feith (Republican) Ross Mirkarimi (Green) Rand Paul (Libertarian) Kanye West (Kanye 2028)
Markese Rolle (Freedom) 2033-2034
Tulsi Gabbard (Nonpartisan) 2034-????
Def. (with Ehren Watada) Matt Dunne (Democratic) Tom Cotton (Republican)
Historians would call Barack Obama and Joe Biden the last true supporters of American democracy and freedom. While Obama’s more moderate politics (and race) hurt him enough to be primaried by former Alaska senator Mike Gravel and saw the Tea Party, America’s first real fascist movement since the 1930s rise to power in multiple states, and his refusal to support Mike Bloomberg in 2009 lead to the billionaire running a vanity “Americans Elect” campaign that spent over 4 billion dollars for 10% of the vote. Still, Obama succeeded, even as Mike Gravel and Jesse Ventura united the Libertarian, Green, and Reform Parties into the “Opposition Party”, defeating Mitt Romney who was hampered by weak turnout from the now ultra-conservative base of the Republican party and most of the moderate Republican vote being swallowed up by Michael Bloomberg’s billions. Obama seemed like he could survive the next two years on a solid platform of uniting a nation that seemed more divided than ever. Unfortunately for him, that didn’t happen. Wether it was an extremely controversial Secretary of Defense nomination in Chuck Hagel motivating the neoconservative wing of the Republican party or the left wing of the United States filling up the streets in support for a more equal financial system, Obama’s last year and a half was filled with constant controversy. Maybe he would’ve been able to unite the US again, but a group of white supremacists, furious at the world and at the first black president of the United States, killed president Obama in a rally in Louisiana.
All at once, the United States seemed even more shocked and broken than it had been since September 12, 2001. If 9/11 couldn’t break you, if a massive recession wiping out millions of citizens of the United States couldn’t break you, the true symbol of hope and unity that Barack Obama being killed with nothing but hate and spite in their hearts, broke you.
Then there was Joe Biden. Biden had always wanted to be president of the United States, even trying to be the “Liberal George Wallace” in his horribly unsuccessful 1988 presidential campaign. Biden represented a lot that Obama didn’t. An angry, aggressive, old man who had been pushed to victory by the mafia in his first major election seemed to be the Lyndon Johnson of the 2010s.
Well, like Johnson he was bouyed by an election victory following his partners death. Like Johnson, he began to increase surveillance on American citizens as Democrats became one to fear another attack like the one on the President’s life. This was likely for the best, White Supremacy is an evil that curses the world and deserves to be stomped out, but when this surveillance got turned onto some left wing political opponents or personal opponents of specific members of some agents of the government, things went down, and they went down bad.
Still, we wouldn’t know this until 2034, and there was still an election to be had.
Joe Biden expected an easy path to the nomination, but that was until Bernie Sanders, who had been threatened by Harry Reid in 2012 over running against Barack Obama, decided to lead the left wing charge against Joe Biden. Bernie was surprisingly successful, winning more than just some old coal states that hated Obama that Gravel was able to win in 2012.
But it wasn’t enough.
Much like how Obama failed to bring his hopes of uniting the country to reality, Sanders failed to unite the working class of the United States of all stripes that had been fucked over since 1979 with continuing ferocity to reality.
Bernie Sanders would simply go down in history as a more successful Pat Buchanan right? His history and his campaign would be a memory only held by random nerds on the internet.
You see you’d think so, but then a member of the Biden campaign, drunk on power, anger, and pure revenge broke into a Bernie staffer’s house and
may have stolen some documents because that staffer broke his heart.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves and entering the mind of an angry Irish Catholic incel, and it’s highly advised that you never ever do that.
Of course in the United States, there are two major parties, and in the Republican one, a wave of anger at the elite, the gays, and an establishment holding on to norms as hard as possible gave the American people Mike Huckabee, the popular Christian conservative ex-governor of Arkansas, ran on a similar wave of anger that Pat Buchanan rode in 1992 and 1996. Some moderates were angry, but they could go write in Lowell Weicker (now a governor) or whatever moderates do.
In moments of extreme darkness, little morsels of humor and joy pop out. Justin Raimondo was a strange morsel. After 2012, the third parties of the United States were upended by Gravel and Bloomberg, and in their absence a new political party was formed by Raimondo, a strong anti war activist who had worked on Pat Buchanan’s campaigns for president and had lead the pro-gay faction of the Libertarian party as an open gay man in the 1980s. Raimondo saw the continued US operations in Iraq and Afghanistan as a major indictment of the Biden administration, alongside Biden’s decision to invade Iran following...
Oh did I not mention Iran?
Well you see Joe Biden, strengthening the imperial powers of the United States responded to an attack on some ships in the Persian Gulf with an invasion of Iran, attempting to make himself seem stronger in a world weakened.
The Johnson comparisons never stop.
Well anyways, Raimondo was inspired by a 2012 underground hit album
Mista Thug Isolation and decided that to appeal to the youth, he would name his new “isolationist” party after the album. Pretty funny right?
Yeah it took over the Libertarians place and polled over 10% in some polls.
Then there were the Greens, emboldened by their 2012 “performance” and furious at the Democrats and Biden for moving to the right after 2012 after their fears of another Bloomberg (who was dispatched in 2013) were able to win a house seat in California. That house seat was held by Gayle McLaughlin, who took her massive media profile after a 2014 upset to sweep a group of anti-vaxxers out of the party.
The 2016 Election was pure hell. Biden and Huckabee ran increasingly neo-Thomas Watsonite campaigns, with the only real difference being Bidens pushes for gay rights and reform of Taft-Hartley. Raimondo sat on a stage and defended Charles Lindbergh, and McLaughlin tried to get Bernie Sanders to endorse her as Harry Reid kept him on a ever-tightening leash. Still, Biden appeared to be winning, even as Iran spelled disaster and the Turks began protesting the United States for dropping a bili (I’m so hip) on the Kurds in the hopes of breaking the Iranians. Oh and then the left wing media just so happened to tell the world about the break-in to a Bernie staffer’s house. Republicans, as they usually do, grabbed onto the story, and expecting a new Watergate, ran it for hours on end. Of course, Biden had no knowledge of the incident beforehand, and would later be completely cleared, but you have to bring out the base somehow.
In the November election, Huckabee was able to defeat Biden, even as empathy votes warred with vote splitting from the Greens and MTIs and anti-corruption votes.
I’ll spare you an insane in-depth analysis of the Huckabee administration. After all, he was the second coming of George W. Bush, a “dumb” southern politician who spent 8 years leveling multiple Middle Eastern countries, rolling back all hope at LGBT rights not limited to marriage (the new third rail), and setting up a massive state apparatus meant to destroy and divide all opposition.
Meanwhile Democrats created the party that would’ve existed had Wesley Clark won in 2004.
In a way, the Democratic Party is a liquid. As the container shifts, they shift with it.
But in a container meant to restrict them, what do Democrats do?
They go back to 1988.
If you don’t know, in 1988, the Democratic Party found approximately 50 thousand Texans to “roast” George H.W. Bush at the Democratic National Convention.
Maybe this tactic could be reused with Donald Trump and Michael Bloomberg in 2016 in an alternate universe....
Anywhoodles, if you remember 1988 at all, you’ll remember that Bush laughed off the screams of Dwight Hightower (based), Ann Richards (our last hope), and Lloyd Bentsen (that bitch), and proceeded to call Democrats a bunch of, well, let’s call them the way Lee Atwater sees them,
abstract names.
Well in 2020, Democrats tried the same thing, nominating Mike Bebe, the newly-minted senator from Arkansas, who proceeded to say dumbass liberal shit like “Jesus wouldve been cool with gay people”, like anyone gives a fuck.
Of course, when everything is fucked up, you want someone to tell you things are fucked up. That is the appeal of Jordan Peterson and Matt Christman. It is also the appeal of Jesse Ventura, who returned to his old position of governor of Minnesota with an iron fist. He then spent an entire campaign yelling about the United States’ imperialistic missions, uniting the Greens and MTIers, and nearly outpolling Mike Bebe. Ventura’s popularity was mocked by pundits on the center left and right as the downfall of American intelligence. Of course they went back to fighting over which pro war ex Arkansas governor to support after breathing out a laugh about the governor who sounded like David Chapelle after 15 years of smoking and reading Noam Chomsky.
Maybe they just weren’t ready for the future.
Whatever, Huckabee still won and Democrats yelled at the left for “splitting”, wash, rinse, repeat.
No one ever learns.
After another four years of Huckabee rolling back civil rights, Democrats decided to do that themselves and nominate Michael Flynn, the Douglas MacArthur of the modern era, a man with decent enough consensus economic ideas but the most insane ideals on foreign and social policy.
But people want strongmen when they can’t get men of the people.
In an election between Michael Flynn and John Thune, there was no real choice. Thune was a boring Republican moderate, built in the mold of a thousand more just like him, to defeat the Senate Majority Leader of the opposing party. But Flynn, Flynn meant it all. Flynn went out and attacked everyone and everything, and to a Democratic establishment hurting after 2020, he seemed just right. Angry military brass? Why not? Of course there were two other options. Chuck Fager, a proud pro-life peacenik Democrat, ran as an “Independent Democrat” after finishing fourth in the Democratic primary. Still, Fager was able to outpoll the Greens, who ran a campaign lead by Milwaukee Sheriff Angela Walker, who had perused drug decriminalization and helped move the city back to the left wing. Neither were like Ventura, and neither attracted much attention past the 5% they both got in the general. Of course, Flynn won as the left wing peeled off, and entered the presidency ready to change it all.
Michael Flynn and his goons spent eight years completely destroying the world as the United States collapsed around them. A recession beginning in 2023 was fought by an exhausted Treasury department, while Flynn continued a seemingly unending war in Iran. Of course, that doesn’t do Flynn justice with his military policy.
Secretary of Defense Tulsi Gabbard, originally praised for her more isolationist beliefs spent 8 years massively increasing the military state as millions of Americans went unemployed. This peaked in 2029, when the military’s flailing system of offering bread and circuses to members of homes they themselves break finally gave in, and Flynn & Gabbard were forced to bring in the draft to whip everyone into shape.
Canada never looked better.
Of course Flynn destroyed some weak willed opposition that just couldn’t rig ballots like he could, and also Kanye West, now a Buddhist with good relations with an aging Jerry Brown who stole the ex-governors’ “Buddhist Economics” line in 2028, and as such the American people voted for endless war to continue as long as they got a man loud enough to lead it.
But you know what? America is fucking stupid. Not in the pithy liberal way, not even in the angry progressive/alt-right way. No America is stupid and it’s fucking
beautiful. The only way to fight the stupidity that is the free market economy and American Imperialism is with stupidity of your own.
So fight.
Well one guy, Markese Money Rolle, more commonly known as SpaceGhostPurpp, and a friend of the man who begrudgingly inspired Justin Raimondo’s anti war action, was just fucking stupid enough to fight back. Yes, Rolle fused together a coalition between the Libertarians, Greens, Kanye 2024 line, and the dying remains of the Reform party with his support for drug legalization, “libertarian” beliefs on human sexuality[1], and rapper status + mental illness, to defeat a strong Democratic incumbent in Miami, Florida in 2024. Rolle would later state that he was inspired by Kanye and the now-deceased Raimondo’s campaigns to fight back against the establishment order.
Of course people laughed. Floridas gonna Florida.
But then you remember. The United States elected a dumb Southern sex criminal[1] to deal with the pain of a Reagan-Bush hegemony, they’ll sure as hell do it again to deal with the pain of the destruction of every single thing they hold dear.
When your home is foreclosed, your ballot is burned, your nephew is off in a distant war, your retirement fund is broken into, you stop caring.
So when a media figure you hate points to the guy wanting to give you weed to ease the pain of living in a broken system, who wants to open up the government, and who wants to end those useless fucking wars, as a mentally unstable fifteenth rate celebrity, you might ignore them.
When that celebrity forms his own party and calls a old foe an anti-gay slur you might not care.
When the two major parties nominate a soulless Arkansas demon who shot down protesters as governor and yet an even more soulless demon who made his money at Google selling your data to a neckbeard at the state department, you might look at that celebrity, and you might support them even more.
Fuck it man.
When Youngstown was sold out we admitted we didn’t care about globalization.
When those airline strikers were fired we admitted we didn’t care about anyone but connivence and greed.
When the government was caught selling arms to someone it was fighting against to fund militias killing children, we admitted we didn’t care about anything but violence.
When the government that promised to be nicer and put on kids gloves systemically ignored a terrorist organization so hard that it lead to 3,000 people died, we admitted that we only cared about looking good.
Every horrific moment since then, is just breaking you down.
You live on a stolen country given to you by a genocidal system of European expansion.
It was united because one half the country craved the money slavery wrought.
And with that unity and that land you bomb 35 countries a day.
So what’s one more vote for a stupid Miami rapper?
Well according to Michael Flynn, everything.
Rolle was known for his intense issues with mental health, and was attacked as such by both parties. Of course it didn’t matter, but when he started releasing information on how Huckabee and Flynn restricted American liberty in such a way that Richard Nixon would be proud, the powers that be saw his mental problems as a detriment to power.
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but Gabbard’s expansion of the military state and predisposed issues within the Rolles issue gave Gabbard, who was incredibly popular with military brass and supported by ex-President Flynn, the ability to take over extrajudicially.
Gabbard’s takeover in a “Constitutional Coup” was simple, the cabinet declared Rolle mentally unfit for office, the house elected Gabbard, and then proceeded to impeach Rolles vice president.
Ever since then Gabbard’s been fighting mass protests but still, it seems that the status quo has been strengthened, even if Rolles was legitimately mentally unfit President.
The End
[1] THIS POST IS IN NO WAY AN ENDORSEMENT OF SGP’S PERSONAL LIFE, PEDOPHILIA AND HOMOPHOBIA ARE OBVIOUSLY WRONG, I AM NOT DEFENDING IT