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Alternate Wikibox Thread

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Harold "Tex" Thompson was an American businessman, adventurer, superhero, soldier, and Republican politician. Born in San Antonio to a life of wealth, Thompson was a popular, intelligent, and athletic student throughout his childhood and into university. After graduation, he turned down the chance to succeed his father as one of Texas' premier oil barons to travel the world with friend Bob Daley, seeking a chance to make a name for himself, and to achieve wealth and success on his own merits. Sometime after returning home to Texas, he took up the secret identity of Mr. America, and used a flying carpet he had discovered during his travels to fight crime and corruption across the western United States.

While initially joining the All-Star Squadron after the outbreak of World War 2, he joined the Army under his real name, eventually being transferred to the Office of Strategic Services, where he was sent to Germany under the pseudonym "Hauptmann Otto Riker" for several years. In 1944 Heinrich Müller, Director of the Gestapo, was poisoned to death. Despite being a well-known fact among military personal, it was not officially confirmed that Thompson was responsible until 1970.

Despite coming from a Democratic family, and campaigning for both Roosevelt and Truman in the 1930's and 1940's, Thompson joined the Republican Party in 1952, spurred on by Dwight Eisenhower's run for President. That same year, he ran for the 68th district in the Texas House of Representatives as a Republican and, despite the odds, won. He was the only Republican in the state legislature during his term. In 1954 he lost, largely due to vote stuffing from the state Democrats. In 1956 he ran for Governor, knowing he wouldn't win, but intended to "make the [Texas] Democrats work," (Thompson got just shy of a third of the vote).

When a local newspaper asked why he ran hopeless campaigns for office as a Republican instead of as a Democrat, he answered, “If I wanted to be Senator or Governor, I'd have run as a Democrat. But I am more interested in giving Texas a real alternative to a century of Democrat [sic] misrule.” He headed Richard Nixon's successful Texas campaigns in both 1960 and 1964, and George Bush's 1964 Senate campaign, the first time a Republican had been elected to the Senate from Texas since Reconstruction.

Despite his generally conservative positions, he was an active proponent of federal funding for veterans education, environmental protection, subsidized housing, and civil rights, castigating Republicans who wanted to abandon the latter to win white Texas. He actively lobbied President's Eisenhower, Kennedy, and Nixon to pass strong civil and voting rights acts. From the 1970's to his death, he remained active in political circles, but limited himself to endorsements and fundraisers.

Both of his identities as "Mr. America" and "Americommando" have been used by multiple unrelated people throughout the years. It is unknown which, if any, of them have a connection to Tex Thompson.

 
Everyone must have known what was coming when Ted was elected.

Funny you should mention that. I wanted to make the list even longer and beat the joke to a pulp but thought there were no alive Kennedys who would be eligible for President in 1984. Until I remembered the trio had sisters!

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Did I spend too much time on this? Yes.
Do I regret it? Also yes.
Is it actually funny this time? Eh....
 
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Did I spend too much time on this? Yes.
Do I regret it? Also yes.
Is it any funnier than it already was? Eh....

I actually think the first post wasn't too funny, a little too morbid and in bad taste. But going further beyond, and then even further beyond, and then even further beyond, it wrapped around to being hilariously dark.

Also Ilhan Omar isn't a native-born citizen. Replace her with like Ellison or Walz or even Kloubuchar for maximum darkness.
 
I actually think the first post wasn't too funny, a little too morbid and in bad taste. But going further beyond, and then even further beyond, and then even further beyond, it wrapped around to being hilariously dark.

Also Ilhan Omar isn't a native-born citizen. Replace her with like Ellison or Walz or even Kloubuchar for maximum darkness.

Fair enough. First post was a bit tasteless in hindsight, second was more for what I was going for.
Also, thanks for pointing that out. I actually went with Klob! at first before using Omar since it seemed she fit the "left-wing Minnesotan congressperson forced to play second fiddle to an unlikable Texan in the hopes that they'll maybe get a shot at the nomination if the party bosses allow it which they won't" niche better, heh.
 
How did Nixon win DC?
Demographic math. ITTL, Nixon is known as the President who passed Civil Rights and who kept his friendship with MLK by actually listening to advisors in 1960 and helping him get freed from prison. Campaigning more on this merit, he wins a large minority of black voters in the district (say, 45 - 55, about 5 points higher than his national average) and winning white voters, with a split in the Democrats (Dixiecrats) (55 - 40 - 5). This, as the numbers seem to suggest, lead to a slight win over Senator Humphrey come November.
 
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Lemuria is a former continent located in what is now the Indian Ocean believed to be the first continent settled by humans outside of Africa. At its peak, Lemuria was home to a variety of thriving civilizations, notably including Atlantis, Mu and Hyperborea and possessed technology and spiritual awareness unmatched by any future societies. It is believed a large amount of Lemurians possessed abilities later considered to be magical or psychic, but which were simply an everyday part of life in Lemuria. Artifacts recovered from the Moon hint that Lemurian civilizations may have possessed advanced spaceflight and settled on other planets, though no extant colonies of any Lemurian society have been confirmed. However, circa 10,000 BCE, a series of disastrous floods and earthquakes would ravage the continent, sinking the bulk of it into the sea. Surviving Lemurians would be forced to resettle elsewhere, most notably coming to do so in Egypt, India, China, Central America and various Pacific Islands. At one time it was thought a colony of surviving Lemurians had been established in Europe in either Italy or Greece; however, subsequent investigation has ruled this possibility out and the civilization on Lemuria known as Hyperborea is believed to have been ancestors to the indigenous people of Australia rather than any European peoples.
 
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