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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
The United Kingdom of Ireland And West Britain, 1960

Tribe of the Nations and We, The Workers are both in agreement: the government needs to better calm down the sectarian and ethnic tensions in West Northumbria, for the anglos and the Orthodox and even the Orthodox anglos are still citizens of the UK. Only that will stop another night of rioting in Ripon and the York border towns, and prevent another outbreak of ENA violence.

Unfortunately the Gaellic Society is the government and they came to power promising an end to "capitulation with the wrecker and pharisee", as Taoiseach Paisley put it. Rumour has it soldiers will be put on the streets for the first time since the Haakonic Wars, helping the garda 'keep the peace' at the southern border. London has said it will consider this a provocation and already has soldiers helping process refugees at York, but 67% of the non-anglo voters don't care.

Remember, us wonks will look at the crisis and see it as a crisis of complicated ethnic, religious, and historical dimensions, and of course We, The Workers and their fellow volkists see this through the lens of working class unity. Most people are far away from West Northumbria, either due to the sea or because they're up in Alba. Anglo issues are something for students or to complain about those slovens who aren't a patch on the good, hard-working negro and Oriental diasporas. Why can't they stop moaning?

This is unlikely to lead to a war - stop asking, Mexicans - but it could lead to the long-threatened blockade of trade, and that will kick us back into recession. Too many Irish think England won't risk it. They forget about the North Europe Trade Agreement. Watch this space.
 

lerk

Well-known member
The United States of America is a peculiar country with a peculiar history. Much of the recent problems it has today stems from the political instability of the post-2nd Civil War era of the 1940s-1970s, along with General Westmoreland's regime from 1973-1979. Today, while it is improving, many stereotypes of the US being a poor, racist backwater persist. Yet these stereotypes have led to a surge of interest in the country among Europeans and Asians, more specifically, an interest into their politics. Here is a list of parties and factions which can better help explain America's political landscape.

Farmer-Labor Party: The FLP, founded in 1934 as a reaction to President Moody has billed itself as "America's oldest and most foward-thinking political party". Nearly winning in the 1936 elections, its leaders set up a provisional out of St. Paul during the Second Civil War, which was recognized as the legitimate government of the United States during that time. It lent its support for a nonpartisan caretaker president led by General Eisehower in 1944, yet his assassination (considered to be the reason for America's instability) in 1945 by a former communist led to, under the guidelines set by the second constitution, a new election. The FLP, who had nominated Philip La Follette for president, ran a left-wing populist campaign and won in a landslide against the various further left and right-wing candidates. La Follette is considered one of America's greatest presidents for his domestic reforms, yet he would also be killed, this time in a plane crash while flying to Paris in 1952. The FLP's presidents after that were a varying shade of mediocre, leading to workers and farmers, the very people they were supposed to represent becoming more and more disillusioned by them. The 1972 Presidential Election led to the victory of Samuel Friedman under the Socialist Party banner, leading to a right-wing military coup. The FLP would become one of the staunchest opponents of the Westmoreland regime, and when democracy returned in 1979 the FLP won the elections. Presidents Bayh and Nunn would oversee economic reforms which led to the average American having a better standard of living, and would crush far-right paramilitaries following the end of segregation. Today the FLP is considered to be the natural governing party, and its main areas of strength are the Plains States, the Midwest and the West Coast.

National Democratic Party: To understand the National Democrats, one would have to go back to their predecessors - the National Party. The National Party was founded by former Republicans in the wake of the Eisenhower assassination. Considering themselves to be the heirs of Lincoln and Eisenhower, they are primarily a business party and tend to be moderate on social issues. They were staunchest opponents of Presidents La Follette, Kerr and Freeman in the 1950s and 1960s, and many of their leaders collaborated with the Westmoreland regime. Yet there were some Nationals who refused to join the Westmoreland regime, and instead broke off and formed the National Democratic Party. The National Party lost heavily in the 1979 elections, and eventually the NatDems overtook them in popularity, eventually winning in 1999. Presidents Romney and Rossi have broken the FLP's dominance, and in 2019 the NatDems hope to do so again. Their main areas of stength are in the Northeast and West Coast.

American Patriotic Alliance: The APA is not so much a political party as much as it is an electoral coalition of various right wing and far-right parties. Many times, it has faced rifts and many people thought that they would collapse, yet they never do. It was founded in the late 1980s during the Bayh presidency.

The parties in the alliance are:

Constitution Party: America's second oldest party, founded by southerners disappointed by the northern-dominated National Party. It has been opposed to desegregation (though it has toned down much of their racial views), progressivism, socialism all of Bayh and Nunn's reforms. Because of its southern dominance, it has never won an election, yet there have been man times where it almost did. Many accuse some of their politicians of having ties with far-right paramilitaries, and while some of these allegations are true, most are false. Some members want a return to the original constitution, yet they have never managed to make that a part of the platform. Main areas of strength are in the south, and they've given up trying to expand elsewhere.
American Party: Succeeds in the North where the Constitutionalists don't, and is generally more right-wing populist then them. Aside from that, not much of a difference.
Front for Values: The Christian right party, yet has alienated many potential Catholic, Mormon and Jewish allies with their rhetoric. Despite the latent prejudices their members have, they are actually pretty racially tolerant and don't engage in the dogwhistle rhetoric the Constitutionalists do.
Continuity National Party: People who look back at the Westmoreland era with a sort of nostalgia, and are either apologists for the regime or just look at its excesses and shrug and say, "so?". Really just a part of the alliance because everyone just sorta feels bad for them. Main area of strength tends to be in the Northeast and South Carolina, Westmoreland's state of origin.
Socialist Party: The Socialist Party serves as a home for those disappointed at the supposed moderation of the FLP, and this disappointment has led to periods of success in the 1970s. It has heralded itself as "America's only true democratic party", and have attacked the FLP and NDP as two sides of the same coin. Following Westmoreland's death in 1979, the party agreed to a political alliance with the FLP, granted that they implement some of their own reforms. However, while their relationship with Bayh was cordial, they soured with Nunn and broke off in the early 1990s. However, they have not been able to build up their past strength, and have not been able to get more than 15% in an election since the 1970s. Their main areas of strength are in the West Coast, Hawaii along with some areas in the Midwest.

Latter-day Saints Party: Mormon conservatives in Utah and beyond that can't vote for the explicitly Protestant Front for Values.

America First Party: People who are too far-right for the APA. Westmoreland did nothing wrong and didn't go far enough in some areas, make nukes and use it on the Comintern, oh and antisemitism and racism, can't forget that.

(OOC: I am imagining the US ITTL having an HDI similar to Tunisia or something)
 

Mumby

'I love the pun he will go far'
Published by SLP
By Hand Or By Brain

The Three Arms of the British Menshevist State, published by Liberty Press (1958)

The functions of British Menshevism are best described as falling into three arms, each of which mirrors to an extent the emblem of the state itself - the Spade, Quill and Torch.

Spade - The Trades Union Congress

Once upon a time a respectable labor organization like our own AFL, the TUC has been subverted and now functions as a legislature of sorts. Its constituencies are now the numerous unions of the country, elected by multi-member proportional representation within each constituency with each union being given delegates that reflect its membership's proportion of the population at large. While party membership is officially banned, the nonpartisanship of the Congress is critically flawed as candidates for election must be members of the Menshevist trade unions, ensuring that all elections effectively reproduce the Menshevist proletarian dictatorship.

Quill - The National Planning Board

Where the TUC represents the teeming mass of the proletariat, the NPB represents the intelligentsia - the new class of ideologically pure bureaucrats who govern and manage the means of production on behalf of the workers who ostensibly control it. While officially, the NPB obeys the instructions of the TUC it is clear to outside observers that the opposite is the case - the real power in the land is in the hands of unelected bureaucrats who hand out their directives without fear or favour.

Torch - The Constitutional Commission

Far from the grey concrete chambers of the TUC and the oak pannelled halls of the NPB are the grim smoke filled dungeons of the CC, the British equivalent of the Cheka. Despite Britain's official nonpartisanship, there are those who espouse doctrines contrary to the state-cult of Menshevism. The CC keeps these individuals contained, or silence them altogether - putting the lie to Britain's loud claims on the international stage of preserving the expanding the bounds of British liberty.
 

d32123

Well-known member
Location
Seattle
After economic struggle and decades of imperialist war, the Estado Novo was finally overthrown in the 1974 Carnation Revolution. They were replaced by the Provisional Revolutionary Government of Portugal, led by a coalition of leftist and liberal parties dominated by the Portuguese Communist Party. Not long after, resistance to the new government began. The decade-long Portuguese Civil War that followed killed and displaced hundreds of thousands of Portuguese citizens. Finally in 1984, changes in government in both Moscow and Madrid led to the Andorra Accords, a tenuous peace and then, a few years later, the promulgation of a new constitution. Despite all odds, the new system has sustained itself to the present day. For though the bitterness of the civil war has not left the minds of the Portuguese people, the need for domestic cooperation in the face of international challenges is apparent to everyone in the Iberian republic.



The Portuguese Communist Party (Partido Comunista Português) has governed Portugal since the early 2000s. Since abandonment by Moscow, the PCP has moved away from Marxism-Leninism, instead endorsing a “Portuguese way to socialism”. After a couple terms in opposition, the PCP has returned as the natural governing party of Portugal, with strongest support among the working classes and in industrial centers. While the party has not reversed Portugal's relationship with the IMF or EU, it has continued to maintain neutrality in regards to NATO. Lisbon is widely considered to be Russia, China, and Venezuela's best friend in Western Europe. In recent years, working class support for the PCP has begun to erode in the face of growing austerity and ideological confusion.



The New National Union (Nova União Nacional) is the main opposition party in Portugal. They are the direct descendants of the old National Union of the Estado Novo and led the resistance against the Provisional Revolutionary Government throughout the civil war. Although no longer explicitly fascist, the NUN is a solidly right-wing party, maintaining close ties to business and the church. They are most supported by the upper and middle classes. During their decade in power, the NUN dismantled the state-dominated economic system of the country and implemented supply-side reforms under the advise of the IMF and World Bank. Today the NUN advocates for closer relations with the United States and European Union, with many factions endorsing a readmission to NATO as well as re-annexation of the Azores and Madeira.



The Social Liberal Party (Partido Social Liberal) is the third-largest party. Its membership composes mainly of the descendants of those liberals who broke with the Provisional Revolutionary Government during the civil war. Today the PSL maintains an ideological orientation essentially indistinguishable from the NUN, though they tend to be much more middle class and secular in nature than the former party.



The Six Star Movement (Movimento 6 Estrelas) is a blatant rip-off of the much more successful Italian Five Star Movement. M6E is much more explicitly fascist than the former, with many of Portugal's burgeoning neo-Nazi movement operating under its banner. Nobody is quite sure what the six stars stand for, but it's likely attacking migrant refugee camps is one of them.



And finally there are the Union of Portuguese Monarchists (União dos Monarquistas Portugueses) which formed out of a group of neo-monarchists expelled from the right-wing resistance movement after being accused of being a controlled opposition front group for the Communists. Although only a minority of UMP members continue to advocate for a re-establishment of the monarchy, and the open disavowing by the Duarte Pio, they are most noted for carrying portraits of the Duke of Braganza to nearly every major public demonstration in the country.
 

napoleon IV

The Spectre of Communism Is A Planet-Sized Ghost
The Moskito Kingdom (map) has had a long history of struggle. For a little over a century, from 1844-1948, the Moskito Kingdom was a British protectorate. The existence of the Kingdom was opposed by Nicaragua and the United States. In 1952 Nicaragua invaded, leading to an insurgency that lasted for decades. In 1985 Nicaragua withdrew from the Mosquito Coast in order to put down an internal leftist rebellion. Since then tensions have been high between the two countries, and a number of border disputes have nearly escalated to war.

King Robert Henry Clarence III: Assumed control of the kingdom following independence, and is one of two reigning monarchs in the Americas (the other being Elizabeth II). Although extremely popular ill health means that he won't be on this Earth much longer, and his son is significantly less popular.

Christian Democratic Party: The Christian Democrats are the dominant party in the Moskito Kingdom, having ruled almost continuously since independence (with the exception of the years between 2000-2003). The party lacks a strong ideological bent, and is a big-tent establishment party. This is increasingly unpopular however, and worldwide economic recession that started in 2017 threatens to upend the system.

Liberal Party: The Liberals are the only other party to have run the Moskito Kingdom, albeit for only a short time. Their ideology is classical liberalism, although the party's right is dominated by right-wing populists. The party's current hope is that the recession will bring down the CDP, at which point the Liberals will win outright. But rather troublingly there is talk of allying with the National Alliance if they cannot achieve an outright victory (the Liberals believe they can control their far-right counterparts).

Labour Party: Traditionally the Labour Party has been Social Democrats, and they have long been the third-largest party in the country. But after being almost wiped out in the 2011 election the party's hard left faction came to dominate, and now it is a fully socialist party. The good news is that this has expanded their support amongst the poor, particularly those hit hard by the recession. Unfortunately a lot of party's middle class voters have left, unhappy with policies that they see as promoting the interests of the poor at their expense.

National Alliance: The farthest right of the parties represented in Parliament, the National Alliance can best be compared to its counterpart in Italy. Which is to say that they're a mixture of fascists and right-wing populists who want to Make the Moskito Kingdom Great Again. The party's base is the military and those living on the border with Nicaragua, although the 2015 elections showed them gaining support amongst the middle class.
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
Winning the 40

Scottish Assembly Status Quo:

The Conservatives are about to crash out of Old Royal - Gove's wheeler-dealing gift of the gab wrote too many cheques his government couldn't keep, and global oil prices are too low to save him. A lot of the economic problems were around before he was First Secretary and, as the SNP like to say, Old Royal only has so many powers, but nobody made Gove be this unpleasant a person to look at.

Unfortunately for Labour, they were the last Assembly government which was also around for a stagnant economy and Laird has not been able to turn their fortunes around enough. The national party's big "Northern Power" push is having a negative impact as well, with polls showing a lot of Scottish voters feel that northern England is getting 'all the attention' at their expense. (Northern English find this very funny)

So to our shock and horror, the likely next government might be a Liberal/SNP coalition! While the SNP have steadily moved to the centre-left as Labour left it, this would still be a marriage of convenience for parties that should have quite different policies. However, Swinson and Yousaf have been meeting quietly and not-so-quietly for months, and Liberal & SNP councillors across Scotland have been collaborating semi-effectively - the SNP see a chance to get back into the government for the first time since the first Assembly's Lab-Scot coalition and the Liberals, the first time ever.
 

Sideways

Interim, Care-taker Shitposter
Published by SLP
@Charles EP M. I always love your stuff. Next time I like something you write on twitter remind me I need to buy one of your books I'd really like to read some of your longer things

This is my little update on my Climate Crisis TL

2045

Major Parties
Conservative: The refugee settlements sex abuse scandal is bound to threaten the Torys. *Crickets* I'm sure a high ranking minister will resign any minute now.
Labour: Lisa Varney has finally had to resign from Labour, leaving the target constituency of Canterbury Central without a Labour candidate yet. What finally got her? Her comments about kink? The stuff about Islam? No, of course not. It's that she was a TERF in the 'teens. Going after marginalised groups is fine, but *clutches pearls* heaven forfend anyone be mean to vanilla white girls.

Third Parties
English Green Party: The Scottish branch of the English Greens are apparently running for a seat in Edinburgh. Can we persuade the Scottish Greens to come south? England could do with a left wing environmentalist party.
Liberal: Their last video was basically about how they need to beat the Libertarians to fourth place, even though they aren't actually competing in any marginal seats so a good Liberal result won't change anything about how the Libertarians do.
Libertarian: The leadership has explained that suppressing the Supremacist tendency would be a terrible affront to Free Speech, meanwhile the Supremacists has officially declared war on "The Melts in the Party" and are working on a "campaign of annihilation" and this is somehow not meant as an object lesson in the problems of libertarianism.

The Left: Are getting derided for the "tactical error" of making this election about the refugee crisis when this issue really doesn't resonate with voters - maybe, crazy idea, they actually care about the people involved?
Yorkshire Party: Put out a meme last week about how Adam Barker is the 24/7 slave of another Try MP, and the person who made the post still hasn't been fired. Apparently kink shaming is fine as long as the target is a Tory. Also note they didn't go after Keven Daniels - because being the dom is almost acceptable.

National Parties
SNP: Trying their best to push soft support for Reykjavik as a way to win some ground in the highand seats where they're still somehow relevant.
PSI: Their manifesto includes a promise of unilateral independence, entry into the Reykjavik Accord and Irish unity. And apparently these are the red lines. It is... hard... to see how they might be a valid coalition partner for Labour in the next government. But apparently they've also promised to do that so this can't end in disappointment.
Plaid Cymru: You can tell everything is all over for a party in power when they start producing "what have the [party] ever dione for us?" videos. Fun fact, the movie this sketch is based on is over sixty years old and was apparently set in Ancient Rome.
Union: We've had confirmation that the Union Party will be pushing for a referendum if they get into coalition. Unionists in Ireland supporting the unification of Ireland? This... I mean... this shouldn't be that controversial.
Sinn Fein: Have clarified that they support UDI and unification with Ireland - in that order. This makes a coalition with Labour basically impossible. I'm sure everyone is really glad they started showing up in parliament.
Fianna Gael: Have finally been allowed to form an "official opposition" with the Liberals, even though between them they have less than half the opposition seats but whatever. Whatever.
Scottish Green Party: The vote on whether to accept the Reykjavik Accord was uncomfortably close for the Deep Green non-interventionists. A number of whom were probably hoping it would go the other way so they'd have an excuse to join the invading southerners in the EGP.
Welsh Green Party: Are nearing a split on Reykjavik. Reyjavik. A geo-engineering protocol that doesn't even impact them. By now the WGP is basically held together solely by the fact that nobody outside of the party can understand their internal vendettas.
Green Party Northern Ireland: The EGP aligned ultras are so adamantly anti-geoengineering that they opposed someone painting their house white on the basis that it would interfere with the albido effect and at some point these people have to be purged or the party will start trying to bring back the witchcraft trials
Fianna Fail: About to have another leadership election as the party continues to fail to work out that they're just not a thing in Northern Ireland

Minor Parties [confirmed over 5000 members]
Salvation: Everyone welcome aboard another ring around the far right roundabout! Same people as always, slightly different justification, same disputes with CPS and the Electoral Commission. They'll be shut down for discrimination and hate speech by next year as soon as one of their leaders inevitably accidentally says what they really think.
Communist Party of Great Britain: 50% inveterate old neo-Maoists. 50% police agents spying on Maoists, 50% Chinese government agents spying on the police who are spying on the Maoists, 50% intelligence agents spying on the Chinese Spies who are psying on the police spying on the Maoists. 1% that one guy with a blog who for some reason they all get on with even though he leaks everything.
The Land: Are you a deep Green type but sick of people bringing up reason and evidence in meetings? Do you enjoy the incoherent rantings of people who think contact lens computing is dangerous transhumanism, but feel these don't go far enough? Are you literally an anti-vaxxer oh Gods how are there still anti-vaxxers shouldn't they be as illegal as TERFs and Nazis? If so, The Land could be for you. Go to them. Please go to them. Nobody else wants you around.

Micro Parties [confirmed over 1000 members]
Anarchist Alliance:
Not banned yet, somehow. They're trying to do that Supremacist thing of being too big and public to just wipe out in a few dawn raids and so far... they're kind of still getting away with it? Kind of? Time will tell.
UKIP: Have won another court-case and can keep running. Which has nothing to do with the fact that their leader is a known snitch who has sent dozens of actually effective racists to jail. How dare you suggest that?
Transhumanist Party: Still basically a vanity project run by a couple of millionnaires but hey it works right?
 

Youngmarshall

The cull cuckold in Sunderland toon
That's good fun @Sideways. Particularly like your recurring thing about kinks being the next social war once trans rights become accepted.

Mind, it has become clear that your use of the word 'melt' means something different to how I'd use it (to refer to either a delicious meat meal or a tactless idiot) and I wouldn't mind having that explained.
 

Sideways

Interim, Care-taker Shitposter
Published by SLP
That's good fun @Sideways. Particularly like your recurring thing about kinks being the next social war once trans rights become accepted.

Mind, it has become clear that your use of the word 'melt' means something different to how I'd use it (to refer to either a delicious meat meal or a tactless idiot) and I wouldn't mind having that explained.
Melt - a term Corbynistas use to refer to moderate leftwing types. Basically in the same tradition as anti Thatcher Tories being wets.

In my timeline though the term is now mostly used by Supremacists in much the same way. Fellow travelers who are insufficiently fascist
 

Sideways

Interim, Care-taker Shitposter
Published by SLP
I do like this idea of fetishes being the next culture war and The X Agenda thing. What the heck are the acronyms and terms there?
Actually - @Tovarich could you halp me with that for my story pls? How do these terms sound to you?

I don't really want to call people without kinks "vanilla". It has a lot of connotations and I think the Kink community in this wrld will need to use neutral, clinical language as part of the political project of gaining mainstream acceptance.

Maybe:

People with kinks - Parasexual/Para

People without kinks - Orthosexual? Metasexual? Para- is a difficult word to have an antonym for. Adsexual and steal from the Latin? Basically means "close to" implying sexual interest through direct sexual stimulation rather than mood?

Names of fetishes probably wouldn't change much, though obviously there will be new options and some clarifications

I don't think there's an equivalent of TERFs. ITTL a lot of TERFs ended up arrested or with ruined careers even if those who were powerful before they were TERFs probably got off without any problems. The kink debate ITTL is rather muted. I mean, if you want to hate people for being different and put them in risk of death, there's a refugee crisis to over-focus on. Probably the Glinner equivalent would be called an adsexual supremacist - some older people might use KERF, but a lot of people just wouldn't get the historical reference by this point.

Are there existing terms I could use? I'll admit, this isn't my community. There are some very lovely kink people in the trans community, but overlapping a venn diagram doesn't make me an expert in other people's issues.
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
The mega-fans of the deal are calling it

A Chance At A Second Empire(s)

but the Brits still can't convince each other to sign up. Simple enough, two third-rate powers form a customs union and a common immigration & defence policy, and they both agree to not mention the War of 1914. The new 'United Nations of Britain and Germany' immediately becomes a second-rate power that can better bully smaller nations, sign more competitive free-trade deals with countries like Korea, the kaiser's son marries Princess etc. Both their Liberal and Co-Operative Parties are in favour...

So why the second referendum in Blighty? Here's how it goes:

- The conservatives in the country, particularly in the small towns, don't like the idea of sharing power with another country and the racist ones don't like the idea of Germans and Ostafrikans coming over (they already don't like West Indians and Princely Indians). Add in fear this prevents any independence from the Scottish nationalists.

- The Democratic Communist Party, and this was true for the Krauts too, don't like the idea of internationalist unions if they're not socialist or communist ones, and they'll use any argument on the left to get out of this.

- London, Aberdeen, and a few of the shiny 'new towns' like Milton Keynes are majority against because they have a good thing going on with their financial industries, tech, oil in Aberdeen's case etc - some of their businesses will get more cash, others won't.

- The Northern cities and many of the old ports really, really want this deal cos they think it will boost manufacturing and shipping, especially long-term with new foreign deals. Remember, Liverpool has the highest murder rate in the land.

- Farms are split between "get orf mah land, Kraut" and "get orn mah land, Kraut, I've stuck the English flag on this cow so now it's an exotic cow".

The first referendum was too narrow to be conclusive. The second may scraaaaaaape its way to an Aye, just like the German one did, but that's after not just a rush of extra propaganda by government & oppo, it was after a few bribes to key people (like a nice bung for oil industries to remain 'favoured' in any free-trade deal) and that has the German opposition, the DNVP, demanding a second referendum of their own as this Wasn't What Voters Voted For.

Realistically, the United Nations happens in the end but boy, this is not an auspicious start. Japan and America are definitely not quaking in their boots.
 

Tovarich

a sinking dumpling. He/Him.
I wouldn't use "parasexual", I think the term "paralympic" is so entrenched in people's minds that first thought will be of sex for disabled people; which hopefully by the time of your TL is no longer considered weird.

Like @Artaxerxes says, "kink" is a bit broad.

Back in the late 80s, when I first dipped my toes shallowly into the 'kink world', conversation about whether we were an oppressed community, like gay people came up, and my answer was that we weren't.
And still aren't.

Having a kink does not effect your entire life like being gay and/or trans does, so whilst bad legislation like Section 63 (as it was) should be collectively opposed, nobody was trying to wipe us out from society.
We just don't need a political identity.

Bad legislation and moral panics could artificially recreate such oppression, and require collective identification, but I think your story would need quite detailed explanation of how that happened.
 

Greenealogist

Well-known member
Location
Schaffhausen
Something from the same world as the one piece of actual writing I've done on the forum:
The Kingdom of Caledonia, 2019

Legal Parties
The Caledonian League - Oh, look, they've won again. I'm sure the fact that the new seat boundaries are based on land area, not population, the mass voter roll purges and the banning of the AfD for sedition had absolutely nothing to do with that, no sirree. Iain Mac Griogair remains the longest-serving head of government in the world, to everyone's great surprise.
Catholic Association - Survived the mass-banning of the other AfD participants after the personal intervention of the Man in Rome, they've ended up as the largest opposition grouping and are *checks notes* currently voting for the expansion of funding to the farms programme. Oh Dear.
Francophone League - The only non-Caledonian party to do well out of the boundaries, Michel Aube now has a friend. To their credit, they voted against the farms, so expect them to go the way of the other linguistic minority party soon enough.
Independent-Celtic Christian - The Peninsular Prophet remains a law unto himself, having stormed home with a forty point majority, and was last heard of trying to introduce a bill to ban people from moving between provinces. It's insane, so expect it to be statute by this time next year.


Illegal Parties
Workers' Movement of Caledonia - Yes, the fake party that the League set up twenty years ago when they banned the actual WM have been themselves banned for opposing the government too much with their 'Alliance for Democracy' thing. What's the world coming to, when you can't trust your own puppets, eh?
Moderate-Reformists - Rabert Newlands hasn't been seen for the past three weeks, and the government is denying all knowledge of him. It's plausible that, at his age, seeing his party banned and Mac Griogair triumphant he may well just have died naturally, but, well, come on. They've disappeared people before.
Association for the Scotch Minority - Everyone's least favourite Duncan misread which way the wind was blowing, tried to break away from the regime, failed, and is now living in a camp in New England whilst they assess his asylum claim. I would not want to be in charge of that case.

Aonadh - The Caledonian League without the murders, depressingly they're the most likely banned party to achieve anything should intervention ever come.

Other Political Groups and Figures
King James XII & II
is still insisting he is not the King of Caledonia, he's quite happy with Scotland, thank you very much. Caledonia is insisting that he is the king of Caledonia, and keep making big deals about empty thrones and unwielded seals and such. How long until they dig up one of the madder ones in the succession - my bet's on one of the Malones - who'll go and be king instead?

Prince David, Duke of Rothesay continues to attempt to build an opposition in the Caledonian 2nd Estate, only slightly marred by his being on the other side of the Atlantic ocean.

Seas! killed thirteen people in an ironway bombing in Caladearg this week. Still no mention of them from the government.

Aibhlin nic Leod is the latest anacritic breakout star of the regime, thanks to that creepy brigade of apologists who think the lower-level functionaries of murder-states are hot.

Mairi Ros is still dead. Which means everyday, another 'radical thinker' on ThoughtCloud gets to say how she'd've been perfect and stopped the killing but otherwise kept a nice little despotism going. Fuck's sake, where're the peacebringers when you need them?
 

theev

Active member
So I heard you guys were fans of WGBP.

What if Gordon Banks had Played?

18th February 2019: Party Rundown
His Majesty's Government
Social Democrat:
With the loss in last week's by-election the coalition government is down to a majority of three. Kinnock II: Electric Boogaloo is proceeding as swimmingly as always.
Liberal: Taking into consideration the coalition's recent loss and their disastrous polling in the recent BBC poll I can only imagine that Ed Davey is tugging his collar harder than Geoffrey Howe was when he was sitting in those Powellite cabinet meetings.

His Majesty's Most Loyal Opposition
One Nation:
Michael Gove's defection to Reform marks the third such since 2017's election. If you think you can smell blood don't worry, that's merely the political career of George Osborne.

Other Parties (In Parliament)
Socialist Labour:
Trying as hard as they can to not address the fact that their leader was bamboozled into an interview conducted by Lyndon LaRouche, in the wake of the latter's death.
Reform: How mad is Nigel Farage at the coalition government? He's so mad that he's going to tear into Stephen Kinnock in a viral Chatter post. He's so mad that he's going to praise Margaret Thatcher. wait what
Green: Considering the whole mess this became, especially online, I think we could at least take notice in how quickly Sian Berry sacked the spokesman who ReChatted the anti-semitic post from one of the National Front splinters.
SNP: All things considered they're probably doing the worst of all the major parties, what with the allegations of rape against the man who's been their party leader for 25 years.
Plaid Cymru: The whole ordeal with Salmond could actually make them 'the main secessionist party.'

Other Parties (Not In Parliament)
Conservative:
Currently can't fathom why Nigel Farage is getting so much hate for praising Margaret Thatcher.
Powellite National Front: Their newly elected party leader (the guy whose Chatter-handle is 'cumbria') just got banned from Chatter. Nice.
Pure National Front: Oh boy.
Communist: Kinda pissed about the Marx grave thing, as you might expect.
Libertarian: Rand Paul is coming to speak at some party run event next month. That's actually kind of a big deal.
American Statehood Now!: Already getting a protest ready for when President Biden comes around in May.
MI5 Truth: Party leader occupied with telling his Chatter followers how Airey Neave "really died."
 

Turquoise Blue

Ambiguously Tibby
Patreon supporter
Location
Kemr, FK
1551347888635.png
The most significant parties in the UGB and basically a rundown of them. There's a lot of small and funny parties, but considering how much of a clusterfuck this Britain is already, and considering how much levels of election you can get... Yeah.

From left to right [not by size] we have...

There's the Communist Party of Great Britain. Very Eurosceptic, has tied itself to Scottish and Welsh left-nationalist parties, quite a few of them Have Views on stuff like "identity politics", but the leadership has tried to quiet them down because well, their allies. They have gained quite a bit, especially with younger voters, which adds more reason for the people With Views to be quiet. They aren't though.

The Independent Labour Party is as left-wing as ever, the days of Maxton are quite over. But their leader Mark Drakeford, originally elected as a safe pair of hands after the leadership of Ian Lavery was brought down by a financial scandal, has proved himself unpopular even with left-wing voters, and there's the mutterings that he's Just Not That Good and a new election should be happening. While he is MP for Cardiff South and bound to be re-elected, the ILP isn't looking so hot in the polls.

Which should be good for the Globalist Alliance, right? That is, if they can just recover from their own scandal. Namely, a combination of antisemitism and transphobia has tainted the party in a lot of their voters' eyes thanks to reporting from liberal media. President Mike Woodin is also not in the best of health, so the "president's party" isn't getting much benefit now. Amelia Womack has resigned as co-leader over a series of antisemitic chirps and the party scrambles to find a replacement. And the "Turquoise Tendency" very much wants to get back to control of the party, and it knows just the person to do so. Enter Elizabeth Truss.

Surprisingly enough, the bland and milquetoast Social Democratic Party is doing well. The ILP and Globalists going through unpopular periods have made many go "fuck it, I'll back Ed" and to their leader Ed Miliband leading a bit. The traditional media isn't kind to the man they call "Red Ed", with many negative comparisons to his "statesmanlike" brother, and even the murmurs that he plotted his brother's downfall from power somehow. And social media isn't kind to the chap either, with many deriding him as a clone of his brother or that he's just putting a slighter redder coat of paint on a very neoliberal party. Still, they're doing good in the polls.

To be or not to be? That is the question for Bethan Sayed, leader of Cynghrair Cymru and one side of the bizarre division that has engulfed British politics. Should a strongly left-wing separatist become President of all Britain when Mike Woodin well, is no longer? While some mutter that she's at least not the White Fox and the last time a Welsh woman assumed power, she did well, many especially in English petit-bourgeois circles have been outraged at the sheer thought and has rallied behind the Agriculturalist attempt at changing the succession law. Oh, and the party itself is doing well, but that's really an afterthought to you know, The Question.

Up in Scotland, the Scots Independent Party is not in good moods. Michael Russell is facing increasing calls to resign and hand over to a younger candidate in a new leadership election. And it seems that he is inclined to, especially as he just lost power last year to a coalition that seems to doom any future chances of a SIP government. But even in Scotland itself, they're not the primary Celtic nationalist party on everyone's lips, thanks to The Question. Which has irked Sippers quite a bit, especially as they get uninformed voters saying "Ay, can I vote for that nice Bethan woman for Chancellor of Scotland?".

The Liberal Party is well, doing fine. Sure, Zac Goldsmith has switched parties again and went back to the Globalists for the second time, but he was always a gadfly who took President Churchill's quote about ratting a bit too much. Nick Boles as leader and Deputy PM is... forgettable? Hard to be remembered when you've been in government for donkey's years. And Andrew Adonis has been talking about becoming the nominee of the Government against whoever is the primary left candidate. Which has made some on the left quite nervous. Surely they want to be seen as open to working with the SDP?

Minette Batters and the Agriculturalist League is juggling a few things at the moment. There's that annoying President Rubio talking about withdrawing from the CoN and setting up an "Euro-American Sphere" or whatever silly name he wished to call it. Now obviously America is an ally, but yeah, Britain can't put up with every silly idea from there. The second one is the Unionists going harder and harder in their calls for a EF referendum. Which the Agriculturalists would have begrudgingly agreed to in the days of Pym, but now? With farming trade with Europe as high as ever? No way, Jose. And the third is The Question, which we all know their stance.

What is the point of the National Party? Such is the question being presented. The Liberals have the centre-right middle-class, the Agriculturalists have farmers and the Unionists have the social conservatives. But what does the Nationals serve? Still, maybe we're just too harsh, especially as they did have a good year. Ruth Davidson is still the most popular female politician in the UGB after all, even more popular than the PM! And conservatism always needs a house that isn't another party, no matter how much the Unionists claim they're the true conservative party. Nonsense, that's the Nationals!

A modern populist party or a party that defend British traditions? The Unionist Party seemingly can't choose, as the leadership switch back and forth from Suzanne Evans (2013-15 and 17-now) and Jacob Rees-Mogg (2015-17), both with wildly different perceptions of what the Nationals should prioritise and where's their voters should be from. With Evans in charge, Rees-Mogg is sulking on the backbench and there's murmurs that if the polls dip yet again, he'll strike once more. And not helping matters is Neil Hamilton all but openly wanting his leadership back. Can the party, torn apart by three leaders, ever unite?

The one thing Hamilton, Evans and Rees-Mogg can agree on, at least in public, is that the Free England Movement is a bunch of fascists and that their voters should just quietly vote Unionist. But even as the FE marches continue to be surpassed by antifa ones, their MPs continue to talk of "defending English values". Of course, not even them would openly declare themselves white supremacist, even if Nick Griffin say the party should adopt the Fourteen Words into its platform. Robin Tillbrook painstakingly makes it clear that to him, everyone living in England is welcome in his party, even as his membership increasingly disagree.

With the left in disarray leading to milquetoast Milibandism on the rise, the centre divided and incoherent and the right having a good year, it can be hard to recall that the localist movement is also growing quite well. Sure, people wouldn't call Idle Toad a party, but lots of Idle Toad-allied localist groups have won seats in councils and devolved assemblies, up to the point where the Lord Lieutenant of Yorkshire has to rely on Yorkshire First as part of his coalition. And of course, we can't forget that Cornwall just elected a very nationalist government either. Those are interesting times for Britain.
 

Thande

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Published by SLP
So I heard you guys were fans of WGBP.

What if Gordon Banks had Played?

18th February 2019: Party Rundown
His Majesty's Government
Social Democrat:
With the loss in last week's by-election the coalition government is down to a majority of three. Kinnock II: Electric Boogaloo is proceeding as swimmingly as always.
Liberal: Taking into consideration the coalition's recent loss and their disastrous polling in the recent BBC poll I can only imagine that Ed Davey is tugging his collar harder than Geoffrey Howe was when he was sitting in those Powellite cabinet meetings.

His Majesty's Most Loyal Opposition
One Nation:
Michael Gove's defection to Reform marks the third such since 2017's election. If you think you can smell blood don't worry, that's merely the political career of George Osborne.

Other Parties (In Parliament)
Socialist Labour:
Trying as hard as they can to not address the fact that their leader was bamboozled into an interview conducted by Lyndon LaRouche, in the wake of the latter's death.
Reform: How mad is Nigel Farage at the coalition government? He's so mad that he's going to tear into Stephen Kinnock in a viral Chatter post. He's so mad that he's going to praise Margaret Thatcher. wait what
Green: Considering the whole mess this became, especially online, I think we could at least take notice in how quickly Sian Berry sacked the spokesman who ReChatted the anti-semitic post from one of the National Front splinters.
SNP: All things considered they're probably doing the worst of all the major parties, what with the allegations of rape against the man who's been their party leader for 25 years.
Plaid Cymru: The whole ordeal with Salmond could actually make them 'the main secessionist party.'

Other Parties (Not In Parliament)
Conservative:
Currently can't fathom why Nigel Farage is getting so much hate for praising Margaret Thatcher.
Powellite National Front: Their newly elected party leader (the guy whose Chatter-handle is 'cumbria') just got banned from Chatter. Nice.
Pure National Front: Oh boy.
Communist: Kinda pissed about the Marx grave thing, as you might expect.
Libertarian: Rand Paul is coming to speak at some party run event next month. That's actually kind of a big deal.
American Statehood Now!: Already getting a protest ready for when President Biden comes around in May.
MI5 Truth: Party leader occupied with telling his Chatter followers how Airey Neave "really died."
I really like that alternate name for Twitter - seems obvious now but I don't think anyone else has thought of it till now.
 

Alex Richards

*Eyes Ashfield nervously*
Patreon supporter
Published by SLP
Location
Derbyshire
The most significant parties in the UGB and basically a rundown of them. There's a lot of small and funny parties, but considering how much of a clusterfuck this Britain is already, and considering how much levels of election you can get... Yeah.

From left to right [not by size] we have...
What a glorious mess.