Days Like These: An ATLF Rundown:
2012-2018: Theresa May (Conservative)
2012 (Coalition with Lib Dems) def: Peter Hain (Labour), Chris Huhe (Lib Dems), Douglas Carswell (AFL), Caroline Lucas-Natalie Bennett (Green), Dave Nellist-China Meville (Socialist Movement)
2016 (Coalition with Lib Dems & AFL) def: Jon Cruddas (Labour), Ed Davey (Lib Dems), Douglas Carswell-George Galloway (AFL), Natalie Bennett-Adrian Ramsay (Green), Michael Lavalette-Frances Curran (Socialist Movement)
2018-2019: Stephen Crabb (Conservative)
2019-: Monica Lennon (Labour)
2019 (Coalition with Greens & The Movement) def: Stephen Crabb (Conservative), Ed Davey (Lib Dems), Diane James-George Galloway (AFL), Maggie Chapman-Rosi Sexton (Green), Frances Curran-Sakina Sheikh (The Movement)
In Government:
Labour: Oh thank god, the first Labour Leader who doesn’t call themselves a Gouldite or a Livingstonite (sorry Cruddas doesn’t count, he leaned way to hard on his Dagenham seat). Lennon seems to be proposing lots of new nice Social Democratic things and generally seems to be bringing the Labour kicking and screaming into the 2020s (hey free period products for all, fucking ace). Sorry folks, you can’t be wanking over your ‘Socialist Superhighway of Info’ anymore or stanning Ken Livingstone now that he’s been exiled to Left fucking Unity.
Green Party of Britain: Took a real Left Wing swing in recent years (Thanks Bennett, also hey Icke is gone now good stuff), but hey at least we’re getting that sweet, sweet Green New Deal (and also it gobbled up RISE too that's good). Maggie Chapman and Monica Lennon are Scottish, Democratic Socialist, Left Wing and Fun so we have nothing to worry about...oh shit who gave Sharar Ali a fucking cabinet position.
The Movement: Left Wing Populism at it’s finest though it did really well with all those seemingly dejected by the Labour of McDonnell, Hain and Cruddas and also it did well with the young (and Sleafod Mods, I bet Curran was begging for that one). It’s also not having a internal squabble over Trans Rights like the other two, though it’s younger membership and the fact that Jules Joanne Gleeson is LGBT+ spokesperson (and List MP, good stuff) probably helped there.
Opposition:
Conservative: Well the Clarkeites are out I guess, which is good. Come on forward...Anna Soubury...Who the fuck is that? Wait, wasn’t she the person that lost the Direct Mayorship to Nick Palmer?
That just raises further questions on the Conservatives capacity for Government.
Liberal Democrats: Ed Davey is stepping down because if more than one politician from Nottinghamshire is a leader of a major political party then the universe implodes or something. So the choices are Christine Jardine as the ‘Radical’ option, Sarah Teather as the ‘Continuity Davey Option’ and David Laws on as ‘How Do You Do, My Fellow Liberals’ candidate.
Anti-Federalist League: George Galloway and the AFL has never accepted Russian Gold, never ever...well okay there was that one time but that was five years okay. Also we’re not Right Wing, we’re Syncretic, get your facts straight, we have many Left Wing members...like...Katy Hoey, okay yeah.
Parties with List MPs:
Socialist Alliance: Micheal Lavalette is pissed that Frances has made her own Far Left Party (With Blackjack and Electoral Success) but hey at least he and China Melville can still ramble about Revolutionary Socialism in Parliament like the Marxist version of Statler and Waldorf.
Scottish National Party: Looked like they were going to become massive, then SalmondGate happened and now there being squeezed by Movement, Greens and Lib Dem’s again. Good work, Mrs Cherry, hope your proud.
Social Democratic Party: The reboot of the reboot of the reboot of Owen's Continuity Party, when he fucked off to the AFL, mainly it’s Alan Sked, a very confused Frank Field, Jason Zadrozny and a signed picture of John Cartwright. God remember when the SDP was Pro-Europe?
Plaid Cymru: Threatening to push a Independence Referendum through the Assembly again...sure okay. God give us back the dream team of Price and Wood, Bethan Sayed is shite.
The Others:
Veritas: Well given that Kilroy Silk finally lost his List seat last election we finally won’t have to hear his terrible opinions on Muslims, the EU, Bryan Gould (which have all the energy of an ex wining about there former partner) and NeoLiberalism. God remember when he and Nigel Farage were going to, destroy the establishment. Fun times.
Left Unity: Can’t decide whether it will be Ken Livingstone’s train back to political relevance, a platform for Harpal Brar to shout about Trans people, the British strand of the Arab Socialist Ba'ath Party or an actual Socialist Party.
British People’s Party: Nigel Farage says that he will bring Britain back to it’s glory days any day now. But given how Silk and Galloway are more popular than him and that the People’s Party is losing members really I doubt this. Oh well, he can at least wander around the beaches of Britain and shout at the tides.
Renew: Think that this whole, NeoLiberalism thing that Gould took out back and shot in the head wasn’t a bad crack actually. Mainly this party consists of Labour former folks who keep on rambling about the ‘Third Way’ and Conservatives who are annoyed that Clarke didn’t just merge Britain with the EU. Why yes, there doing weirdly well on the Councillor scene, though Chris Leslie is increasingly a dead weight.