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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins

varyar

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Saw this in an article about a French airline and had to post it here:

France, until the middle of the 20th century, ruled over an empire that included large areas of Africa (including Algeria, Tunisia, Côte d’Ivoire, Mali, Mauritania, Niger, Senegal and Chad), the Middle East (including Syria and Lebanon), the Americas (Québec, Louisiana, Haiti and parts of Brazil), and the Indian Ocean islands(such as Madagascar and the Seychelles). All of these today are independent nations

(emphasis added, of course)

One wonders how far back you have to go to get an independent Louisiana and 'parts of Brazil'?
 

Time Enough

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Political Party Rundown of The German Democratic Republic, 2020:

The Government:
The Left Party (Die Linkspartei):
If you told someone about twelve years that the Left Party would become the main party of Government most people would have laughed in your face. Originally a rebranding (purge of Marxist-Leninism) of the SED as the Party of Democratic Socialism over the past twenty years the party has slowly been gaining ground from the SDP (formerly the party of choice for your causal Left Wing Voter) helped by it’s message of Democratic Socialism, Left Wing Populism and it’s constant habit of discarding anything related to the old regime (most of whom fucked off to the German Communist Party).

Now it’s in Government it has managed to sally the fears of the Right Wing that Katja Kipping will be the rebirth of Honecker, instead she spends most of her time trying to Democratise Industries, increasing worker rights, allowing Trade Unions more power and under supervision of the Greens, trying to make the GDR the first Net Zero Emissions nation by 2030. That and legalising Same Sex Marriage, Increased Immigration Rights, Gender Equality act and attempts to implement Self ID which the DVP are using as proof that Kipping is a secret Communists and the new Honecker because the one thing they hate more than Socialists and that’s LGBT+ folk.

It probably all sounds real good and it is, just ignore the ballooning deficit, the CDU lead West Germany of Hedwig von Beverfoerde staring daggers at the DDR, the coalition being not all sunshine and rainbows as they try to present themselves and the increase in Right Extremism and street fights between Anti-Fascists and Fascists and you would be right. And many Western Left Wing Parties do because it makes Kipping easier to stan.

The Greens (Grüne Partei): The Greens in the DDR are slightly different from the West German Greens. For starters they haven’t advocated for the legalisation of Pedophilia, replacing Nuclear with Coal or had there leader caught in a murder suicide at any point. Mainly made up of the more Left Wing of the Alliance 90’ folks, The Greens main focuses are; Civil Rights, The Creation of a Green DDR, Gender Democracy, increasing Ecological industries and bringing about basic Social Democratic reforms to Government.

As a result Katrin Göring-Eckardt is fine to be a coalition buddy with Kipping and the two get on alright it seems. Which is better than Eckardt’s relationship with there supposed sister Party the West German Greens who are horrified that they have got into a coalition with the Left Party (given how the choice was no Government or an awkward Red-Green coalition, they went with the coalition). The joint Green Party conference in Berlin is now infamous for name calling, punch ups and West Germans calling the DDR Greens a disgrace to the Green movement...which has confused every single other Green Movement who think Eckardt is the new Jesus or something and given how the DDR Greens follow most of the West German Greens policies.

The Opposition:
Christian Democratic Union (Christlich-Demokratische Union):
The last few years haven’t been kind to the CDU, what with most of there heavy hitters just upping stakes to DA or (god forbid) DVP. There still the dominant party of opposition and the Right but that’s not particularly hard to do given how the other two are either having an identity crisis or Fascists in name only. Under the new leadership of Ingo Senftleben the group has decided swerve awkwardly Right to try and take the wind out the DVP which is pissing off much of the awkward coalition; the Neoliberals don’t like the DVP’s protectionist/Anti-Globalisation message, the Christian Democrats find there there Fascist leaning slowly disturbing and the Centrists still keep on harping on about there ‘Grand Coalition’ idea which everyone is ignoring because it worked so well last time.

Social Democratic Party (Sozialdemokratische Partei): Most in Party are regretting that whole ‘Grand Coalition’ with the CDU because in the end it pissed off just about everyone. The Social Liberals in the Party didn’t like the Conservatives, the Social Democrats disagreed with the Neoliberal leanings of various CDU members and really the only ones who were happy were the Third Way fanatics (so Rolf Schwanitz has been having good sleep I guess). Still they made bed and they’ve laid in it, and now hopefully under Manuela Schwesig they will finally *check notes* at least be a Coalition partner.

Democratic Alliance (Demokratische Allianz): Are you a Centrist? Do you believe in Democracy, Civil Rights and generally believe that people deserve a general sense of freedom as well as Capitalism? Well do I have the party for you.

This gaggle of Democratic activists, Civil Rights Protesters, Social liberals and Eco-Capitalists was originally formed out of the members of the Alliance 90 group who didn’t join The Greens, PDS or (in some cases) the CDU. Now after several years of being whipped into shape from a bunch of beardy intellectuals into an actual party by Angela Merkal there now beginning to fill the void that the CDU has left from it’s awkward shift Right. Now under leadership of Matthias Rößler the party is planning to try and overtake at least the SDP and hopefully *fingers crossed* the CDU...well the last one probably won't happen.

Free Democratic Party (Freie Demokratische Partei): Probably the only East German party that gets on with it's West German counterpart, this party that preaches Classic Liberal values which is still a thing I guess. The Party does okay, mainly being a party for all the folks who don't want to vote the CDU for Social Reasons but don't want to vote the SDP or DA (despite being a rather Liberal party the DA is rather more Socially Liberal/Mixed Economy on Economic issues) for economic reasons. The only time the FDP and the Left Party have seen eye to eye was the legalisation of same-sex marriage so that's nice I guess.

German Peoples Party (Deutsche Volks Partei): *Angry Right Wing Populist Shouting from Frauke Petry about Immigrants, The Gays, Communists and the Pinko Liberal Menace...and promoting the works of Gerhard Frey*

Outside of Volksammer:
German Communist Party (Deutsche Kommunistische Partei):
An odd coalition of Passionate Marxists, Maoists, a few lost Titoists and Honecker stans lead by Sahra Wagenknecht who manages make sure this odd coalition doesn't crash and burn and still win some elections. The Left Party have sometimes campaigned with them but the DKP is kept with a barge pole because of there habit of going on about how the DDR was better when the 'Capitalists' weren't in control...

National Democratic Socialist Party (Nationaldemokratische Sozialistische Partei): "We're not Nazi's, Hitler betrayed the National Socialist cause anyway, so did class traitor Gehard Frey with his poxy Capitialist party that has hoovered up our votes and diverted the people away from the true force of the Right. Still at least we have the balance of power in the Saxony state Parliament...cause we have three seats"

People’s Union (Volksunion): Do you know what the DDR needs? Direct Democracy...and Third Way policies...take us back SDP please, we're sorry for pushing you into a Grand Coalition...please...Carsten Schneider is getting on our nerves.
 
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Time Enough

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That's really interesting @Time Enough - a really unique idea
Thank you, inspired by stumbling across a Wikipedia page talking about the DDR’s first (and only) truly Democratic Election and I was like ‘Uh imagine if this continued and the DDR was Democratic and didn’t join up with West Germany’.

A lot of fun with this one and the preceding list too (though trying to find suitable politicians born in the DDR is a bit hard sometimes).
 

Time Enough

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I'm assuming it was the SDP who championed the lignite mines here then?
Indeed, as part of Romberg’s and the SDP’s economic reforms of the mid 90s Lignite Mining would be part of that (alongside increasing production of wind farms and various other green proposals to appease there coalition partners). Part of the eventual collapse of the Hildebrandt government was due to the Greens who supported coal mining breaking off and joining the Democratic Alliance after an argument with the more eco conscious colleagues, well that and the perceived too good relationship with the PDS by several important members.
 

Ares96

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The PDS and the Greens would probably have a much more rocky working relationship than this, the Greens were after all pretty much directly descended from the 1989 protest movement leadership. They rather than the SPD have been the consistent stumbling block for red-red-green coalitions ever since reunification IOTL.
 

Time Enough

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The PDS and the Greens would probably have a much more rocky working relationship than this, the Greens were after all pretty much directly descended from the 1989 protest movement leadership. They rather than the SPD have been the consistent stumbling block for red-red-green coalitions ever since reunification IOTL.
Aye I was considering that, the logic in my opinion is more due to the absolute collapse of the SDP and the CDU, The Greens are given the choice of stagnant government or awkwardly allying with the Left Party (who are promising to fund the Greens ideas for industry).

The Greens have also have had a bit of an ideological change helped by a number of the old school Alliance 90/The Green members joined the Democratic Alliance instead, making the leadership a bit more open to a coalition (for the reasons mentioned above). But I’ll add a little bit to make the coalition more rocky.
 

Time Enough

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Party Political Rundown of the Federal Democratic Republic of Britain, 2020:

President: Valerie Vaz (BCP-Unified Marxist-Leninist*)
Prime Minister: John McDonnell (BCP-Maoist Front*)


*Political Party upon assuming office, BCP-Unified Marxist Leninist & BCP-Maoist Front have now fully merged to form the British Communist Party.

In Government:
British Communist Party, John McDonnell & Valerie Vaz:
Finally after nearly two decades of Civil War started by Prince Andrew murdering his family, Famine, natural disaster and a variety of humanitarian strife two years ago Britain managed to have it’s first proper independent, parliamentary election and unsurprisingly it was a Communist blow out (helped by the unification of the Marxist-Leninist factions and the Maoist Front which was completed after the election). Now former freedom fighter (and according to the Royalist Government in Exile, a war criminal which is rich coming from them) John McDonnell has to rebuild a country that is still dealing with that whole Civil War aftermath with some parts of the country dealing with banditry and Maoist militia's who don't want to unify with the BCP. There's also America and Ireland who aren't fond of this Communist nation not far away from them and have blockaded certain areas from the trade.

So yeah, McDonnell has his work cut out for him.


Opposition:
British Cooperative Commonwealth, Jon Trickett & Anna Turley:
The other party of choice for most people, originally the Cooperative Party managed to get Tony Benn as the first democratically elected Prime Minister for Britain for a long time. Then after 18 months, he was arrested and a coup took place so the Cooperative Party was dismantled, several prime ministers and other shenanigans later and we have what we have now. The Cooperative Commonwealth is probably the biggest party of the opposition and is technically the Right-Wing of the British Government but really there just a Social Democratic party with Cooperative leanings. At the moment there not really arguing with the BCP, though sooner or later there Irish funders will start wanting results.
People’s Socialist Party, Diana Abbott & Lisa Nandy: A merger of the Socialist Party and People's Party this party is the third largest party in the Parliment. Mainly a mix of Democratic Socialists and Federal Socialists with a strong Anti-Fascist and Racist bent, this party is semi-popular with folks who like Socialism but find Communism a bit too much for them. It's also popular in the cities with strong Municipal Socialist sections. One to watch...and by that I mean 'probably knock out the BCC in 10 years time'. But hey, not bad.
National People’s Front, Alf Dubs: Originally the legal party for the Maoists, Alf Dubs has taken over the party and kept it out of the BCP seeing them as too 'bourgeoisie' for his tastes. Mainly popular with former Maoist militia men who think McDonnell has been lead away into the realms of 'Titoist Democracy' which is not what Communists should be doing...no they should be purging folks. Despite it all, they seem to be following the BCP's policy of People's Multiparty Democracy...for now.
National Democratic Party, Micheal Portillo: The actual Right Wing party, comprised of the last health minister in King Edward's Government Micheal Portillo and...that's it really. Not very popular really, due to you know 'helping cause a civil war and supporting a despot royal' thing. Still popular with the old Royalist Conservative crowd who forget all the killing and shit and Micheal Portillo is probably the only person of that last Government who isn't hated. Also he massively supports the Railway policies of the BCP which is nice.
British Workers Party, Norman Tebbit: Tebbit created a Hoxaist party in the 70s when it was incredibly gauche and yet it’s become popular...with the kind of people you would think it would be popular, thankfully only has 1 representative. Tebbit's dream of a bunker for every home and 'Self-Reliance' will have to wait it seems.

Represented in Local Assemblies:
Common Sense Democracy Party, George Alagiah:
Originally a party created by that merger between the Tech Progressive and Social worker David Miliband's Common Sense Party and former CBC reporter George Alagiah's Progressive Democrat party, this party is essentially a Reformist, Direct-Democracy, Progressive platform more than anything. Popular with Britain's few intellectuals and all that.
United National Democratic Party, David Campbell-Bannerman: A split from the NDP, mainly more of the same. Slight more Royal Stanning and a bizarre fixation of vague Right Wing Popularism. Probably don't have to talk about Royalist war crimes if you blame Europe for it all I guess.
Federal Yorkshire Socialist Party, Laura Walker: Wants more power for the Yorkshire assembly so they can purse a Socialist Yorkshire for Yorkshire people and outside of Britain this would sound weirdly Nationalistic and bad but given how Yorkshire was the one where the 'killing moors' occurred they have the right to demand more attention to themselves.
Municipal Socialist Party, Linda Bellos: Does well in London and various other Assemblies, this party mainly represents the many folks who believe we should go beyond just local assemblies but have Municipal councils being able to wield the same power. Popular with Council Communist wing of the BCP and the PSP in particular Nandy who calls Bellos her personal hero for obvious reasons.

Banned:
National Party, John Attlee:
The party that ruled Britian during the Civil War period, this 'multi-party' coalition was created by King Edward to rule Britain. One Brutal Civil War later and what remains of it lead by John Attlee is sitting on the Isle of Man guarded by Irish Warships. They keep saying there going to take back control but given how even the most politically illiterate person see's the National Party as the worst thing in the history of Britain I doubt they'd be doing that any time soon.
 
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Time Enough

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There is an inspiration for the Rundown above, guess what Nation was the inspiration.

If you do, I’ll award you with a like I guess.
 

Sideways

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February 2020 Labour Leadership Rundown Special

Emily Thornberry Just about leading according to the few (totally untrustworthy) polls available, and she technically scored the most nominations. But seriously... no one seems excited for Thornberry, and she's having some serious issues thanks to Rayner siphoning off the Corbynite vote.

Angela Rayner Very nakedly the Continuity Corbyn candidate, but like Thornberry she's underperforming because Corbyn and Johnny Mac are keeping shtum about who they're backing. She's also suffering the same problem as Thornberry that a (very small) number of Core Group Plus are supporting the Shadow Foreign Sec for... reasons.

Keir Starmer Making himself out to be the Soft Left candidate I guess? Starmer's total flop is the biggest disappointment of a deeply disappointing race to be honest, and his fumbling around endorsing UBI has only further convinced me he doesn't really "get" Corbynism.

Andrew Adonis Has promised to, idk, fuck a train tunnel until it gets pregnant with HS2 or something. If you think I'm keeping up with Adonis' leadership campaign then I've got a high-speed rail bridge to sell you. Ok I have been keeping up, he's just the candidate flat out Revoke now. Guessing when he loses he'll fuck off to the Lib Dems.

Jess Phillips Theoretically has some good ideas and is maybe more soundly feminist in her promises (in that she's really gone all out on being "the feminist candidate") but she's been running a really nasty campaign too. Basically the only thing better than seeing Jess fail is...

Stephen Kinnock running the worst leadership campaign of my lifetime. The "say yes to everything Boris wants" candidate the Labour Party didn't know it could even have to be in a position to not want!
Retro-futurism from the distant past of... October 2019!
 

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Labour Leadership Candidates, June 2020:
Well Ed Miliband lost again and has finally stepped down but hey, we’re not doing as shit as we could be, the rot has been...stopped, I think. Anyway now the leadership contest is occurring and glorious fucking anarchy:

The Right:

Hilary Benn: “Do you know what Labour needs? Me!” Benn says to an empty room. Okay I’m exaggerating but does really anyone want Hilary Benn as leader, even the Blairites are backing the more sensible horses of Watson and Nandy and Kinnock/Nandy has gained the Dan Jarvis vote. So what does Benn offer?

Pro EU Labour Rightism with a side order of Soft Soft Left...if that’s it then he’s fucked.

Tom Watson: “We going to be a new digital party, a 21st Century Labour” Watson announces happily to a room full of the Young Fabians. Watson’s campaign seems to be leaning towards ‘Brownism...but for the Digital Age’ but given how that stuff seems like crack to the Young Labour Right that seems to be where he’ll continue. Doubt he’ll win but he’ll annoyingly get to the ballot at least. Probably be in the Shadow Cabinet too, doing his Herbert Morrison but shit schtick I guess.

The Soft Left:

Lisa Nandy: “We need to step away from big world issues and instead focus on what the Ms Doe from Wigan wants!” Nandy cries to an audience of angry Blue Labourers, Passionate Milibandites and confused Midlands Lefties. Nandy has somehow created some horrifying fusion coalition of Blue Labour and Soft Left and her mixture of preaching about Rail, Bus Timetables and Trans Rights mean she’s may actually win this. Now all she would have to do is keep both sides of the factions happy for the time...oh no, Caroline Flint has told Sarah Owen to go fuck herself and now both sides are taking potshots. Good going there.

Heidi Alexander: “HiI’mHeidiAlexanderandpleasevoteformeasleaderIpromiseI’lldogood,nodon’tjoinNandyplease” Alexander rattles off as she see’s her supporters dropping off like flies. Turns out having a nice smile and hair mean fuck all if you have no policies, she was starting out so good and now she’s probably going to give up before first ballot.

The Hard Left:

Cat Smith: “Now is the time for change, to not be the party of Blair and Brown but to be a party of the LEFT” Cat Smith cries to a crowd of excited student students at a Cat Smith event in Manchester. Shoring up the SCG/Hard Soft Left vote, Cat Smith’s run is more of an indication that the Left is still something in the 21st Century if anything. She’s like to get on the ballot and that will probably make her the first LGBT leadership candidate which is something. Now all she has to do is grind Ian Lavery into fine dust (which won’t be hard) and she’ll get Third on the ballot and a good place in the Shad Cab.

Ian Lavery: “I campaign in the spirit of Benn and...no I didn’t steal that Pension money stop asking me that!” Lavery says to a Working Men’s Club or grumpy Miners. His run hasn’t been very successful, only the old guard of the SCG and Richard Burgon support him which has lead to pretty awful campaign as he tries and dodge questions about the Miners Pension funds and other sundries. Strong chance that this run will crush any stand he has left with the Labour Party.

The Oddballs:

Stephen Kinnock: “Proper Coffee for Proper Men” Kinnock says to a room of fellow believers whilst sipping a flat white. Kinnock seems to be positioning himself as the true successor to the shambles that was Blue Labour, which...erm is a look. Particularly coming from the son of Neil and who’s married to the former Prime Minister of Denmark. Can’t wait for him to fucking explode at his first hustings and retreat back to his home.

Clive Lewis: “We need a multi-part Progressive Alliance” Lewis excitedly says to a bunch of sad Compass members. Sadly that grand statement of ‘MORE DEMOCRACY and PROGRESSIVE VALUES’ has gone down like a cup of cold sick to pretty much everyone but Compass folks and Lib Dem members still pinning for Charles Kennedy. Can’t wait for him to give up once people start questioning his more awkward attributes and endorse Cat Smith (bet she’ll love that).
 
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Turquoise Blue

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Britain in FGKL!, 1984
Point of Divergence: 1924

Monarch
Elizabeth II:
Still popular with the Liberals, not much so with the Progressives. Overall very non-partisan and stays out of politics. Like she promised.

Government
Liberal Party:
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie Roberts, if she can't do it, nobody can! Sure there's some murmurs over her eagerness to cut spending, but as she keeps telling everyone, it's necessary for "Scientific Governance" that we continue the fight against Royalist bloat. And anyway, it isn't like she's axing HMHS. Foot wouldn't even stand for that, and he has a lot of clout with the left of the party after all. I wonder when will they ever lose an election?

Reform Party: What's the point of them anyway? They're like the ex-Royalists who jumped ship at the last moment, and is more or less sliding towards becoming "the Liberals in the urban cities". Honestly, Maggie should just force them to merge into the Libs.

Opposition
National Progressive Union:
A fractious party made out of the rump of the Royalists, all they do those days is just protest against the dismantling of their entire, corrosive and damaging legacy on Britain. Because of this fractiousness, I'll represent the factions.
- New Progressives: The ones who think there's a path forward for Toryism in this bold new post-Royalist Britain. They seem to be more or less nodding through everything the Liberals do, hoping the moderate voters reward them. The polls... don't suggest they are.
- Trade Union League: Used to have power with the leadership of Jim Callaghan, but since he retired, they've been losing power to the bland "New Progressives". Honestly, they'll probably give up on trade unions influencing politics by this time next decade.
- Ecologian Association: A new thing, only just set up two years ago, but really growing quick especially as the Libs under Roberts has been attacked by the ecologians for "embracing the cult of growth". Tony Whittaker is gonna be leader after next election, I'll bet. They don't get on with the trade unions, seeing them as the reason the Libs continue winning, and probably will drive them out of politics for good.
- Windsor Society: The unrepentant Tories who think the 1937-1974 era was nothing but good, they consistently deny the human rights violations and often say it's a lie made up by the Liberals to justify "the coup of 1974". I think they tend to be Jacobites or republicans those days, ironically.
- Labour Committee: The remnant of the die-hard Labour Party, they cry out at every time the Libs cut their bloated welfare state. Good, nobody cares. Well, some people might, but let face it, who would vote for the NPU on the basis of "economic justice"?

Independent Labour Party: I think they've given up on explaining the split between them and the old Labour Party and are thinking about a rebrand to something like "Socialist Workers' Party". Would be a nice name for a party that's erm... at 7 MPs. Oh dear.

National Party (Wales): Well they prefer Plaid Genedlaethol Cymru, but who has time for that? I believe they're really big fans of Prince Charles and have met with him several times, leading to some in the Liberals fearing that Charles will turn out to be dangerously political like Edward VIII. Although I've heard they only talk about stuff like poetry and the Welsh language, hardly anything that pol- oh sorry, minority language. Yeah I see the Libs' point.

Scottish Party: Still banned for what they did during the Royalist era. I think we still see some cells pop up every now and then in the Highlands.
 

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Started off as a 'Real' Very British Coup scenario and then it...expanded from there:

British Political Party Rundown for March 14th 1990:

In Government:

Labour: Is it just me or do things seem funny in No10? Like Dennis Skinner just vanished one day and said he was quitting and then PLP is trying to get Jack Cunningham in as PM and skipping Willie Mckelvey, the Deputy Leader. So now a leadership election is happening and some folks are say that the establishment is bringing about a coup of some kind.

Jesus fucking christ we’ve only been in Government for about a year. Anyway who are the candidates because a couple more have seen there chance and are now striking:

Jack Cunningham: Former Chancellor of the Exchequer (to keep the Right on side) and Northern Ireland Secretary, Jack Cunningham has decided to make himself Caretaker PM and become leader of the Labour Party, finally bringing Labour back to a more centrist direction. There’s just one problem...no really likes Jack Cunningham. The trade unions think he’s a shit, the membership think he’s a twat and even much of the PLP think he’s some kind of bastard. Not helping matters that within his brief time as Northern Ireland Secretary he’s used the connections to entertain some folks and other things which may be illegal under parliament rules.

So strong chance he may be a leader for like a month before he has to awkwardly resign. Oh no, how sad.

Willie McKelvey: The deputy leader and grumpy Scottish Working Class Leftist. Willie is a man who is respected by many but respect means bugger all if you don’t have the right folks on your side. Most of the centrists are deserting Willie for Jack or...Ken and now he’s going to have to rely on the SCG, Trade Unions and the Scottish Labour folk to keep him on ballot (and they may fuck off to Ken if Willie doesn't do good enough).

Willie of course is incredibly grumpy about this but don’t worry, George Galloway his Campaign Manger will communicate how grumpy he is to Ken and by communicate I mean call him a 'Fucking C*nt'.

Ken Livingstone: Ken’s been busy. Since leaving the GLC in 86’ to McDonnell the Maoist and gaining a seat in Vauxhall in 1987 after Stuart Holland left to become an economic adviser he’s been preparing his run for leader of the Labour Party for a couple of years now, making all his connections with various strands of the Labour Party. Gone is Livingstone 'The Looney Leftie', instead we have Ken the man who will modernise the Labour Party like he did the GLC. Most media pundits are laughing of his challenge, saying that no one in the Labour party would vote for Ken. But given how only two years ago they went with Skinner over Hattersley there's a strong chance that Ken could clinch it, especially if Cunnigham shits the bed. Now all he has to do is not say anything about Sizewell Nuclear Power Station incident because he'll probably blame the American's for it again.

The Opposition:

Conservatives: Would be enjoying themselves right now if they weren’t in yet another behind the doors, back stabbing campaign. It all started when Francis Pym stated that we needed to move away from Thatcherism and back towards Compassionate Conservatism and then all the dries got pissed and decided to bring about a leadership election. So Pym has decided to fuck off leaving a rather rudderless Conservatives. Also there having there own leadership contest, fucking ace:

Norman Tebbit: The driest of the dries, Norman Tebbit was one of Thatcher’s golden boys before he got kicked down to Northern Ireland Secretary during the Pym PM years. Now he’s trying for the big job now that the Tories are in the electoral wasteland. There’s just one small, tiny, insignificant problem...Norman Tebbit is Enemy Number 1 for the IRA. His tenure as Northern Ireland Secretary made him a lot of enemies and now he’s the face of Unionist terror for many a Irish Nationalist. So now Norman has to try to conduct a leadership election whilst trying to avoid being car bombed. Good stuff there Tebbit.

Micheal Heseltine: Micheal Heseltine, Pym's gold son and the former Chancellor of the Exchequer. Surely he'd be the top candidate for the job. Problem is he's been making a ruckus about how the Thatcher and Pym Government's should have put funding into the inner cities, which sounds pretty uncontroversial to most normal folks but is downright sacrilege to even some Wets, never mind the Dries. There's also the fact that he managed to piss off the Dries by being on of the core conspirators in the Maggie ousting.

Ken Clarke: Seems to be aiming for the Centrist option in this contest, Ken is playing the modernising card, waving around his efforts in Education and Health during the Pym years as examples about how to do a half way house between Privatisation and Public Spending. Ken is also using his Blue Book plans from the Tory Reform Group as vague ideas for how the Tories could get back to power. Might actually win this.

Social Liberals: Looking on in mute confusion and horror at what’s going on. Lindsay Granshaw and Paddy Ashdown are wondering what to do really, so much is happening such a short amount of time. The idea seems to be promote the good parts of the Government’s plans (reduce unemployment, Social Democratic elements), chastise them for there poor relationship with the Americans and carry on with there Anti-Nuclear campaign which has gained steam

Social Democratic Party: Well now that Doctor Death, Former Health Secretary has fucked off to the House of Lords (hope he enjoys his new career of being spat on by AIDS Campaigners) Rosie Barnes is in charge. And by in charge I mean puppet of the Prince of Darkness, Peter Mandelson. There campaign of ‘Sensible Politics’ will probably win back the voters who were pissed at them for that whole ‘National Unity’ bollocks. They maybe able to go from ten seats to at least fourteen again, if things go well and Norman Tebbit is made leader. If it’s one of the wets, well probably stick at ten.

Nationalist and Irish Parties:

SNP: Really wishing they were back in the halcyon days of the 70s now. Just awkwardly sitting around in Parliament with there two seats, complaining about nukes in Scotland and all that jazz...shame that the Scottish Labour MPs have done the same but louder and more effective. Oh also Jim Sillars is probably going to muscle Gordon Wilson out of office, though Salmond may make a bid too. It’s not like the new Scottish Assembly is having an election later this year...oh wait.

Plaid Cymru: There regretting going with Dafydd Iuan, seems shifting to bland Social Liberalism combined with Nationalism doesn’t work very well. Labour smashes them in last election, though they did okay against the remaining Welsh Liberals. They may have another leadership election in a year or two but given how they only have two seats I doubt folks will care that much.

DUP: Congratulating themselves on having defeated the great Satan that is Dennis Skinner. They probably didn’t do anything since there like three MPs but don’t tell Rev. Ian Paisley that. Now to ruin Jack Cunningham’s chance as leader by revealing his dodgy deals and allow that *checks notes* Ken to wi...oh wait.

UUP: Is wondering whether to just awkwardly wait out the crisis. Like London’s on fire but whoever wins, Ireland will still be on fire. Not helping things that James Molyneux has announced his support for Tebbit causing the IRA and INLA to increase there threats of violence to him. Well done there James.

SDLP: John Hume is kind of confused what's happening really, Northern Ireland has burst into flames again and he seems to think he's the only sane man in six counties full of lunatics. He's telling the British Press how shit Jack Cunningham is and hoping he crashes and burns because having nearly five years of complete incompetents or bastards in Westminster being left to run the show.

Sinn Fein: Gerry is out of jail in a highly controversial arrest by Tebbit and Sinn Fein is celebrating. Problem is the party has seen better days, it's thunder has been over taken by Workers it seems who have turned to around there woes in recent years by combining Irish Republicanism with Democratic Socialism and have modernised. And unlike Sinn Fein, there willing to appear in Westminster and other places, mainly to annoy those in powers.

Workers: Been three years since Proinsias De Rossa took over and it looks like the Workers Party will be a new force for Irish Republicanism and Socialism in both North and South, hell they even managed to get an MP in to Westminster last election with Seamus Lynch and unlike Sinn Fein he sat in Westminster...though he mainly sat in discussion about Ireland. The party has even made ties with the Democratic Left party on the mainland and it seems that the source of this 'EuroCommunism' thing will be coming from here it seems. Just as long as De Rossa can keep blaming Sinn Fein for any IRA stuff he's fine.

Minor Parties:

Green Party: Who would have expected that one minor reactor disaster would cause the Green Party to become incredibly popular within a month. Saying your against nuclear power and various other Green policies works as an alternative to Labour and Social Liberals and David Icke and Sara Parkin (the lady with the best hair) have become quite popular within a short amount of time. There is the problem about how there manifesto recommends we reduce the population by 20 million people and David Icke makes weird noises every so often but most of there supporters aren't bothered with the fine points really.

Democratic Left: Nina Temple has reformed the CPGB within a short amount of time, and whilst it's pissed off the old guard it has helped her gain new supporters. Campaigning on PR, Green Issues, Feminism and modernising the Left, Temple is becoming popular with the Left Wingers who are horrified with what is occurring in the Labour Party at the moment. They've gained a couple of councillors and Derek Wall has joined them with his fellow Green Fundamentalists so watch out for these ones.

Communist Party of Britain: Given how Marxism-Leninism is so gauche right now it says a lot about Mike Hicks that he's trying to keep it going. But given how there hope for the bright star of John Peck has indicated he's joining the Green Party there probably ain't going to be getting any councillors, assembly or any political say any point soon. Well this is going well.

British National Party: John Tyndall is pleased that his lads have been making a name for themselves at recent Anti-Fascist marches and CND protests, mainly by knocking heads. The parties even experienced a surge in funding which is suspicious, though don't be surprised that if Cunningham is made PM then the BNP loses that funding. If it's Livingstone then...there going to get more money, bet you now.
 

Wolfram

Well-known member
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State of Von Steuben, 1971

Christian Values Party: Their Chief Whip in the Unicameral is currently facing possible expulsion (!) over some sort of legal conflict of interest. I have no particular brief for the CVP, but this seems less like corruption with malice aforethought and more like, well, the sort of thing you learn to avoid when you have people with actual relevant experience in your government.
People's Progressive Alliance: In the face of the sheer incompetence of their main opponents, the PPA is choosing to focus on *checks notes* conspiracy theories about Teutophobic discrimination by Wall Street banks. Very on-brand, but I'm not sure highlighting that most farmers don't use the Bank of Von Steuben is the right direction.
Liberal-Democratic Party: Still twisting in the wind over their voters abandoning them for louder culture warriors. On the bright side, Phil Oldham got appointed Ambassador to Germany. It will be interesting to watch General-Chancellor Günther find out what everyone in Austin already knows: that Phil Oldham is very polite and charming and also a stupid, stupid man.
Equality and Justice Party: They finally officially changed their name, like they've been talking about since the 1920s. Interesting to watch the generational shifts in action, with Al Stephenson as the only real rural EJP below the age of fifty. He talks a lot about allying with the PPA for agricultural equity reasons, which, considering how many PPA donors depend on low-paid Afro-American farmworkers, good luck with that.
True Socialist Party: Michael Strauss is in his eighties now, and has had cancer twice, and may or may not be going senile. The fact that the TSP keeps sending him out there to do a job he's no longer capable of doing says nothing good about anyone involved, though in fairness it does seem to be less "we have nobody else" and more "someone should tell Our Hero that he needs to retire, but it sure ain't going to be me".
Von Steuben Bund: They have reached the peak of their "more authoritarian than the Chancellor" tendencies, actively calling for a coup against the new decrees about "democracy" and the ceasefire with Hungary. I feel like openly funnelling money to people planning for a coup in a foreign country is probably some kind of crime, right?