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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins

lerk

Ваnnеd
Speaking of which, I’m really getting reminded here of the way people often talk about Nixon elected in 1960 on the other site: “Nixon elected in 1960 wouldn’t be a crook at all, oh and he’d overthrow Castro easily and do civil rights easier”.
That's what woke the thought in me, yes. And really, never mind Nixon elected in 1960, half of them seem convinced he'd have solved all America's problems had he not been turfed out of office in 1974.
MLK literally called Nixon a coward in 1960 but I'll guess he'll make African-Americans all vote Republican
It's mainly just contrarianism. "Do you think that Nixon was a bad person because of Watergate? Well you're WRONG! Based on my wikipedia research, one can see his support for Civil Rights, and this will be the basis of my new TL".
 

d32123

פּאַרטיזאַנער
Location
Seattle
Pronouns
he/him
Smallest brain: the Democrats and Republicans have always had their same ideologies since time immemorial
Slightly less small brain: the Democrats and Republicans switched in 1964!
Bigger brain: the ideological relationship between the Democrats and Republicans has always been the result of complex economic trends, compromises, patronage, and political alliances of convenience, see if you look at this chart of the urbanization rate of the South---
Galaxy brain: shut up nerd, try writing a TL about something other than elections or wars for once
 

Ares96

Where Fun Meets Awesome Meets Agriculture
Published by SLP
Location
Fubbicktown
Pronouns
he/him
MLK literally called Nixon a coward in 1960 but I'll guess he'll make African-Americans all vote Republican
I just remembered that AM radio talk show I heard in rural Colorado which argued that Kanye West would lead a mass exodus of African-American voters back into the fold of the Party of Lincoln. It’s also the only place I’ve ever heard seriously talk about Spygate other than Donald Trump himself.

I have to assume it’s an open question whether either host had ever talked to a black person.
 

theev

Las Vegas is a society of armed masturbators
Pronouns
he/him
Smallest brain: the Democrats and Republicans have always had their same ideologies since time immemorial
Slightly less small brain: the Democrats and Republicans switched in 1964!
Bigger brain: the ideological relationship between the Democrats and Republicans has always been the result of complex economic trends, compromises, patronage, and political alliances of convenience, see if you look at this chart of the urbanization rate of the South---
Galaxy brain: shut up nerd, try writing a TL about something other than elections or wars for once
Hey a timeline with a complex storyline or plot might get confused for publishable literature.
 

lerk

Ваnnеd
I just remembered that AM radio talk show I heard in rural Colorado which argued that Kanye West would lead a mass exodus of African-American voters back into the fold of the Party of Lincoln. It’s also the only place I’ve ever heard seriously talk about Spygate other than Donald Trump himself.

I have to assume it’s an open question whether either host had ever talked to a black person.
I'm getting real pre-midterm 2018 vibes from this post.
 

Charles EP M.

Well-known member
Published by SLP
Speaking of which, I’m really getting reminded here of the way people often talk about Nixon elected in 1960 on the other site: “Nixon elected in 1960 wouldn’t be a crook at all, oh and he’d overthrow Castro easily and do civil rights easier”.
Kim Newman's Dark Future: Route 666 full novel has this amazing section on the wonderful, utopian Solid Sixties under President Nixon, as the documentary remembers how great it was that Nixon overthrow Mad Castro so easily, sorted out civil rights with the [checks notes] Seperate But Equal Act, got rid of those silly laws holding back industry that definitely isn't why most of America is a big desert now...
 

theev

Las Vegas is a society of armed masturbators
Pronouns
he/him
Be The Change You Wish To Sea

May 1, 2052 - American Party Rundown
"The Big Two"
Republican:
America's "Natural Party of Governance" is finally experiencing some growing pains, huh? Decades of fascistic rhetoric finally coming home to roost, huh? Gonna have their first brokered convention since 1976, huh?
- Ben Shapiro: The President has completely shat the bed this year, despite all those columnists saying his re-election chances were pretty secure. He literally had to do something on climate policy but he still cocked that up. Good luck, Ben. You deserve this.
- Nick Fuentes: Last night's rally featured a lovely return to the old "Jews will not replace us" chant. The Senator swears he'll disavow the chant soon, which is very weird because that's something that he should do now instead of putting it off for a rainy day.
Democratic: The inept group that's probably about to make Nick Fuentes president.
- Ziad Ahmed: The brilliant mind behind Manhattan's sea wall can't seem to figure out why everyone hates him and his ideas.
- Julia Salazar: Which of us hasn't had a good laugh at that National Review piece calling her "the real anti-semite in this race"
- Anthony Fantano: no
- Cameron Kasky: Probably the Ying to Ahmed's Yang. Surprisingly popular and with shitty polling compared to surprisingly unpopular and with good polling.
- Natalie Wynn: Really more of a flash in the pan candidate at this point but she's hanging in there.

"Third Parties"
Democratic Socialists of America:
Alright technically not an "official" third party - at least it hasn't been in nearly two decades - but if you counted up all of their members of congress they would easily be #3. Anyway, they've been pretty clear recently that they will not be backing Ahmed if he's the candidate.
Sunrise-Green New Deal: Neither are these guys. They've gone as far as to call the sea walls a "capitulation" in the Climate War. Which, I mean, is fair.
America First: Just about ready to announce the triumph of Fuentes' will or some shit
Moderate: Guess who's a fan of the sea walls?
American Workers: red-brown pact as flailing as usual
Libertarian: Probably just gonna endorse the Republican again

Other Entities
Amazon:
Still dealing with the flack from having their striking engineers mowed down by dronefire
Young Americans League: Fuentes Youth might start getting prosecuted soon if they keep killing counter-protesters. There's only so many deaths you can claim happened "by accident"
Free State of Jefferson: If you'll recall from last week Shapiro and Fuentes almost came to blows at their debate over these guys
Earth Warriors: Eco-terrorists coming out hard for Voluntary Human Extinction. More at 11
Social: Zuckerberg has been seen dining with Shapiro again, uh oh
Right Front: Fuentes' adult militants are lacking the extravagance and media savvy of their young counterparts
Wide Awakes: Seen guarding select undercard Democrats recently, much to the joy of the "ACW2" punditry
 

Yokai Man

Well-known member
Be The Change You Wish To Sea

May 1, 2052 - American Party Rundown
"The Big Two"
Republican:
America's "Natural Party of Governance" is finally experiencing some growing pains, huh? Decades of fascistic rhetoric finally coming home to roost, huh? Gonna have their first brokered convention since 1976, huh?
- Ben Shapiro: The President has completely shat the bed this year, despite all those columnists saying his re-election chances were pretty secure. He literally had to do something on climate policy but he still cocked that up. Good luck, Ben. You deserve this.
- Nick Fuentes: Last night's rally featured a lovely return to the old "Jews will not replace us" chant. The Senator swears he'll disavow the chant soon, which is very weird because that's something that he should do now instead of putting it off for a rainy day.
Democratic: The inept group that's probably about to make Nick Fuentes president.
- Ziad Ahmed: The brilliant mind behind Manhattan's sea wall can't seem to figure out why everyone hates him and his ideas.
- Julia Salazar: Which of us hasn't had a good laugh at that National Review piece calling her "the real anti-semite in this race"
- Anthony Fantano: no
- Cameron Kasky: Probably the Ying to Ahmed's Yang. Surprisingly popular and with shitty polling compared to surprisingly unpopular and with good polling.
- Natalie Wynn: Really more of a flash in the pan candidate at this point but she's hanging in there.

"Third Parties"
Democratic Socialists of America:
Alright technically not an "official" third party - at least it hasn't been in nearly two decades - but if you counted up all of their members of congress they would easily be #3. Anyway, they've been pretty clear recently that they will not be backing Ahmed if he's the candidate.
Sunrise-Green New Deal: Neither are these guys. They've gone as far as to call the sea walls a "capitulation" in the Climate War. Which, I mean, is fair.
America First: Just about ready to announce the triumph of Fuentes' will or some shit
Moderate: Guess who's a fan of the sea walls?
American Workers: red-brown pact as flailing as usual
Libertarian: Probably just gonna endorse the Republican again

Other Entities
Amazon:
Still dealing with the flack from having their striking engineers mowed down by dronefire
Young Americans League: Fuentes Youth might start getting prosecuted soon if they keep killing counter-protesters. There's only so many deaths you can claim happened "by accident"
Free State of Jefferson: If you'll recall from last week Shapiro and Fuentes almost came to blows at their debate over these guys
Earth Warriors: Eco-terrorists coming out hard for Voluntary Human Extinction. More at 11
Social: Zuckerberg has been seen dining with Shapiro again, uh oh
Right Front: Fuentes' adult militants are lacking the extravagance and media savvy of their young counterparts
Wide Awakes: Seen guarding select undercard Democrats recently, much to the joy of the "ACW2" punditry

The horror
 

Meppo

Well-known member
Republican: America's "Natural Party of Governance" is finally experiencing some growing pains, huh? Decades of fascistic rhetoric finally coming home to roost, huh? Gonna have their first brokered convention since 1976, huh?
- Ben Shapiro: The President has completely shat the bed this year, despite all those columnists saying his re-election chances were pretty secure. He literally had to do something on climate policy but he still cocked that up. Good luck, Ben. You deserve this.
- Nick Fuentes: Last night's rally featured a lovely return to the old "Jews will not replace us" chant. The Senator swears he'll disavow the chant soon, which is very weird because that's something that he should do now instead of putting it off for a rainy day.
I think the Democratic field needs a Carter.
 

Time Enough

"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
Pronouns
He/Him
Down the Clynes: Election 52'

It's that time again, ladies and gentlemen. Why it's election season, will the titan of Bevan beat the Giant of Eden, will the Radical Liberals manage to right there ship now that Acland's fucked off, will the Liberals be able to convincing explain Hayek's idea of Monetarism to people and what exactly do the Communists have in store..? Find here and more in our election rundown.

The Conservative Party: The Government at the moment with a Majority of 20, Eden and Lord Woolton have been keeping a tight ship here. Supporting the Welfare State (in a way) despite what the backbenchers lead by Ralph Assheton moan about overspending and how the Government should be Denationalising and all that, ignoring the fact that A).The Nationalisation and Welfare projects are popular with the Public and B). We've just come out of messy War and Depression and the Economy is now in full swing because of these policies. Doesn't matter though the Liberals are taking the Hayek ball and the Tories can see the result of that after the election.

The Labour Party: Nye Bevan is control now and he looks like the man who will bring some fire and zeal back into the Labour Party after the limpness that was Alexander's final years as leader. Preaching a mixture of Workers Democracy, Democratic Socialism and preaching whole heatedly the ideas of Co-Operatives (which makes sense given how the support of the CoOp Party and the CoOperative Group is what allowed him to win the 48 Leadership election against Morrison)the double breasted figure of Nye certainly inspires the Left now more than ever (though his support of the more Socially Liberal aspects of the Left like supporting the decriminalisation of Homosexuality, a pet project of Lord Attlee have got more Conservative voices up in arms). Will his radical ideas such as a National Health Service win or scare off voters? We will have to see

The Radical Liberals: Acland's inability it seems to work with Labour cost the Radicals big, they went from 35 seats and being coalition partners with Labour, to 24 due to Acland leaving the coalition. Now the weird Christian Socialist Liberal has been turfed,a committee lead by William Bevridge and Vernon Bartlett have created the all new Progressive Manifesto that the Rad-Libs will preach and there leader Honour Balfour has gone up and done the country as the Radical Liberal Prophet presenting a new Progressive Welfare State...hmm I think the Christian Socialist thinking hasn’t gone away.

The Liberals: Gwilym Lloyd George is in a tricky situation, he’s desperately trying to avoid the last vestiges of true Liberalism being swallowed whole by Labour, Tories and the bastard offspring the Rad-Libs. So he’s trying a new tactic, let’s revisit classic Liberalism. He’s got Fredrick Hayek to help draw up an all new Liberal vision of Capitalism for the future that will come. The only problem is no one really understands it fully and Lloyd-George fumbles around with some elements of it too. Not a good start.

Communist Party of Great Britain: So in an environment where Labour is offering Democratic Socialism and the Radical Liberals are preaching the closest thing to a Progressive Style Social Democracy they can muster, so what can the Communists do? If it’s send out War Hero John Peck to preach Marxist-Leninism in Nottingham South and cross your fingers that people don’t start asking about the USSR then yes, that’s the plan.

The Commonwealth Party: Originally a mixture of Christian Socialists, Libertarian Socialists, Intellectual Socialists and Disillusioned Former Communists who tried to position themselves to the Left of Alexander’s Labour Party in the hope that they would suck up all the Soldier Socialists and Small C communists after the War. It worked in 1942 and 47 but now there leading stars Denis Healy and Ernest Millington are planning to leave to the ILP/Socialists League dominated Labour and in there wake all they’ll have left is Leila Berg, Geoffrey Trease and Rose Cohen who aren’t as inspiring.

British Fascist Party: They keep on saying there not Nazi’s and not funded by Mussolini. They keep on ruining this by getting into street battles with Communists, Jewish shop owners and the various ethnic minorities that live in the cities across Britain, seen parading as members of the Fascist International and the fact that the accounts are full of funding irregularities. William Joyce is still the leader but this aging Fascist demagogue in the making is looking rather precarious compared to there only MP Andrew Fountaine a defector from the Conservatives, who is somehow worse.

Social Credit Party: Despite the fact that no one really understands Social Credit and Mr Douglas’s ideas, Mosley claims he does. The Party is considered by many to be the ‘Thinking Man’s Fascist Party’ due to it’s habits to invoke Nationalist and Anti-Semitic elements but unlike the Fascists they don’t go around beating up folks and Mosley is a charismatic lunatic. Popular with Farmers it seems.
 
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Aolbain

All he has managed to do is make himself sad
I Just Wanted A Stalinist Upper Peninsula And This Is What I Got, Or, Parliamentary America May 2020:


The Government:

The Federalist Party (297 seats): I agree misogyny played a major part in all the shit Ann Wagner have had to take internally, but she did pretty much murder Mitt Romney in broad daylight. At least no one asks them about Borneo any more (it's still on fire, btw).

New Millennium Democratic Partnership (7 seats): You know what, I'm glad Marshall Tuck demanded seats in the cabinet in exchange for his support. Sure, he's planning to do for teacher's what the government's already doing for the Dayaks, but at least he looks happy doing it which is more than I can say about his Federalist colleagues.


The Coalition

Labor Party (170 seats): John Kasich managed to get himself photographed with some Stonewall Socialist Society activists at the Chicago May Day rally without anyone involved looking actively repulsed. Good for him.

People's Party (39 seats): With how happy Presley is about the Jackson by-election you'd think they actually won it and will sweep the black belt come 2022. They didn't and they won't, but I guess everyone needs something to celebrate from time to time.

Minnesota Farmer-Labor Party (5 seats): Fuck you, we're not just a local affiliate of Labor trying to be special. No, we won't explain how.

Non-Partisan Cooperative Alliance (4 seats): Rumors going around that they're planning to merge with the populists, which could mean interesting things for politics on the high plains if a) we hadn't gotten those rumors quarterly for the last century and b) anyone outside political nerd twitter gave a shit.

Ernie Chambers (Ernie Chambers): Still suing twitter for banning him, which is unfortunate since it distracts from the actually very relevant questions he asked the Foreign Secretary about President Sutarmidji.


The Rest of the Opposition

Independent Federalists (26 seats): Starring: Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney's family and Mitt Romney's fan club. Not starring: any real hope of a political future.

Republican Party (22 seats): If we could harness the energy generated by how angry not being invited into the government makes Jim Davies we'd be carbon neutral by next week. And then the Republicans would be useful for once, too!

The Lone Star (10 seats): Not gonna lie, I didn't expect them to go in the "having Opinions about 5G" direction but I'm here for it.

Western Liberty Project (7 seats): Another state legislator got caught Asking Questions about the holocaust so I guess they should be glad Bob Bird decided to do his "no law passed since 1979 is actually legal" routine again.

Raza Unida (5 seats): If they do manage to cut a deal with Labor for the next election that would pretty much kill any chances the Arizona Labor Party have to rebuild at the federal level. Oh no how sad etc etc.

Revolutionary Communist League (3 seats): The protracted people's war is going great! If by "protracted people's war" you mean "electoral politics in the deep south" and if by "great" you mean "barely holding of the populists in Jackson". Mao would be proud.

Ecology (2 seats): California's bracing itself for spending the next half year being literally on fire so the electoral wing of the American environmentalist movement decided to spend the week complaining about "gender ideology". That makes sense.

Communist Party USA (1 seat): No, we still don't have any voters outside the UP and Appalachia. No, that's not likely to change. No, we won't stop thinking Stalin was cool. No, the reason we hate the RCL isn't that they're 95% black. Please stop asking that.

Left Unity (1 seat): Matt Gonzales held a town hall in a homeless camp which at least played well on twitter. Oh, you wanted to know what they're doing outside the Bay area? Ha.
 
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Stuyvesant

Just wait until I actually get my shit together
Location
The Place Beyond The Pines
Pronouns
he/him
Galactic Republic-Sanctioned Force Orders

Je’daii Order: The Je’Daii are the original Force Order, having been founded nearly 11,000 years before the Galactic Republic on the Deep Core planet of Tython. While Closely associated with the Galactic Republic, the Je’Daii still maintain their independence from Coruscant, and a rivalry with the more martial-minded Sith. They mostly focus on the Galactic North, striking a balance between the Guardians’ Defensive monasticism and the Sith’s Aggressive militarism.

Knights of Sith: The Sith originated from the chaos of the Tionese War, when a group of warriors, skilled in the Force held off the Tionese while the Republic was floundering without a fleet. A Sith-backed All-Hands Flotilla turned back the Tionese at the Battle of Alsakan, buying the Republic’s shipyards enough time to fully dedicate themselves to the war effort. The Sith were granted suzerainty over the Tion Cluster after the war, and in the millennia since, the Sith have expanded their influence throughout the Galactic East. Unrest has begun to grow within the ranks of the Sith, with many feeling the increasing dividends of Guild Contracts has distracted the Leadership from their supposed Honor.

Guardians of the Whills: The Guardians of the Whills were founded as the Mid Rim’s answer to the Je’Daii, centered on the NaJedha System. From their desert moon headquarters, the Guardians oversee a network of Monasteries, Hospitals, and Peacekeepers across the Galactic South. They are inherently tied to the colonization of the Mid and Outer Rim, and more often than not, when someone threatens your frontier settlement, you call the Guardians. The Je’Daii are too concerned with the more settled world of the Core, and the Sith too concerned with their Guild clientele.

Magisters of Jal Shey: The Jal Shey are not a Force Order in the Traditional Sense, but are rather a collective of Places of Education, specializing in studying The Force from a purely academic viewpoint. They were founded by the Galactic Republic to be a secular equivalent of the Je’daii. One of their number recently claimed to have discovered a type of microbe that “Creates Force-Sensitivity” and was promptly laughed out of the Conference.
 

Wolfram

Well-known member
Location
North Campus, Austin, Texas
Pronouns
he/him
April 16, 2020 - pol/us/frontpage

Pan-Gold Alliance: You may think it's dumb that our political system is so oriented around trilateral relations that the entire spectrum of Pacificist parties compete to field one (1) presidential candidate. I think it's worth it to see Dino Rossi realize, on live television in the middle of a debate, that a) Tulsi Gabbard is for real b) Tulsi Gabbard is really running c) Tulsi Gabbard will probably win the nomination d) Tulsi Gabbard might well win the election e) he's likely going to have to vote to take down the dams on the Columbia River if he doesn't want to lose access to all that sweet, sweet, zaibatsu money.
New Whig Party: President Bush is definitely not running for a fifth term. Definitely not. ...Unless...​
Progressive Ecology Party: Korean sweatshops and mining penal colonies, but woke. One of their State Reps flew down from Alaska to protest the Neches River Intermodal Terminal and got in the news for passing out due to heatstroke, while the Governor of the party is literally evicting First Nations to New Industrial City Zones so it looks like they're not just a massive scam. Priorities!​
National Liberal Party: Allen West doesn't know what all these Anglo conservatives are doing joining his party, but he sure isn't happy about it. I suppose entryism is a valid concern, but also, where else are they really going to go? Although admittedly most of the new members seem to be doing this out of a sense of "I swear to God I'm not racist".​

Pan-Red Alliance: Stop trying to make the National Confederation of Trade Unions joining the CIO happen, it's not going to happen. Definitely stop talking about the General Strike of 2004, which the NCTU sees as "that time all those Moscow people shut down our jobsites for something we didn't even want to be involved in".
National Labor Party: Socialism for people who don't really care about politics. Everybody is just sort of hoping that Aiken can mouth the right words about "working-class values" for long enough that he can be the next Reagan. Good luck with that?​
Social Democratic Party: Socialism for people who care about politics. Cory Booker, what are you doing here? It would make a lot more sense if you were just trying to run for President, but no, you're just continuing to talk about housing issues, as one does. Good for you.​
Communist Party of the United States of America: Socialism for people who really, really care about politics. It's weirder to think about them having actual power in a state than to think about that being in a coalition with the Pan-Goldists of all the people.​
National Youth Alliance: Platform items! Nothing about foreign policy! Just the job guarantee! They sure do know their audience.​

"Outsider Parties":
National Values Party: Half of their Board of Executives went to Italy and praised both Mussolinis, which would very possibly sink a normal party. After the "our Presidential nominee is a secret member of the Silver Shirts" thing from last time, though, I don't especially think anyone cares.​
Republican Party: The last holdout of the Party of Hoover, Rockefeller, and Romney. Pretty proud of the last one, which is why they're probably never leaving the Jello Belt. Senator Huntsman is becoming increasingly visibly uncomfortable with being in a caucus with Trent Lott and Alan Keyes, which is probably a lot more entertaining than it is significant.​
Democratic Party: Still chugging along, pumping out gerontocratic mayors in East Coast cities. Their contingent on the Philadelphia City Council has started holding independent meetings since new Mayor Krasner said "we should do reforms somewhat", which means that they both get to do what they do best: the reformists get to run around looking lost and fumble new initiatives into somehow passing, and the Democrats get to sit around in community centers and glare at passing teenagers for existing.​
Non-Partisan League: The "The Other Moscow" joke is getting a little old by this point. Not that running things from a college town in Idaho was really a good idea to begin with for an ostensibly international party. Though it sure beats that creepy goat costume from 2010.​
National Action: Alan Keyes is not a thing, even if he did manage to win a congressional election by, like, half a point.​
Solutions Party: Winning votes from garage dads who listen to border blasters and drink craft beer since 2002.​
 
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