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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins
- Thread starter Sideways
- Start date
- Location
- Derbyshire
Very nice work there @Turquoise Blue and that's certainly interesting @Bolt451 - some sort of asteroid impact? Nuclear attack?
Bolt451
Hello to our posters from NooOOORTH CAR-O-LIN-A
- Location
- Sandford, Gloucestershire
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The Norwegian Rocket Incident/Black Brant Scare of 25/1/95 leads to a nuclear war.
Party rundown for March 2020
Left
The Democrats In June Grayling was still leader and the party was going to go back into coalition with the Moderates and pass more spending cuts, and now Annelise is leading the most radical government since Galloway, just think about that.
Solidarity Still cautious about the Smithites shifting the party back to the right, but McDonnel apparently entered talks about reunification or a formal alliance in February (according to The Republican). This seems like a leftist teenager's wet dream from two years ago.
Greens Making a big deal about banning CFCs this week, and their cause seems to be picking up a bit of momentum, and there's talk of Britain joining France and Germany's climate agreement!
Centre
Moderates Let the backbiting begin! Most of the party seem to be forgetting that Clegg won a plurality of the vote promising a continued centre and centre left coalition. Dom Raab will sort it out, I'm sure, and the path to a majority is definitely aping Citizens who got *checks notes* less than 5% of the vote. The other take is obviously that they're trying to emulate the National People's Party which is very 70s punk. The successors to the Party of Heath ladies and gentlemen!
New Liberals Hemorrhaging support on the left to The Democrats and on the right to Citizens: talks again about winding the party up into the Moderates in replication of Heath and Steel's '77 pact. Because that only mildly contributed to the rise of fascism! Also apparently they're still up for supporting the government for some reason.
Citizens Farage looks unbearably smug. Fair play, no one thought the terrible trio would increase their number of seats almost tenfold when they defected from Clegg's MLB in January. Liberalism without a human face here we come baby!
Unionist Also ran in the electoral alliance with the Moderates and New Liberals, but are also talking about winding down. Someone needs to tell Nick Timothy that Christian Democracy isn't going to happen.
Royalist Lol even Harry Windsor doesn't support 'King' William anymore. Mad lad's running for President in May for the Moderates apparently.
Right
National People's Have distanced themselves from February's bombings by Unison. Unclear whether this is because they want to step away from paramilitarism or if they're costing up to the Fronters. Really fucking bold now they've smashed through 10% of the vote in a free election for the first time since 1980. Oh fuck. It's not happening again is it? Katie Hopkins would be beyond farcical as a dictator.
Workers' I guess Nick Griffin is still enjoying sulking alone on the backbenches.
Proscribed and extra-parliamentary
Ulster Front For once the Fleg brigade isn't responsible for the bombings. Have allegedly changed tack to mainly focus on attacks in Ireland and especially in the Northern Devolved Region, but we've been there before.
New Republican Army Don't know how to feel about these lads. On the one hand they were the heroes of the revolution in 91, but on the other, does Britain need another paramilitary on the streets? Dodds has been much more quiet about condemning them than Grayling, too.
Unison Their ties to the NPP leadership seem to be breaking down, and there's talk about their establishing a new National Unionist party, but I suspect they're going to be put down soon and they're losing members rapidly.
British Front In news which horrified everyone and shocked no one, it turned out thirteen NPP candidates in the last election were British Front members. The facist takeover of the party from the I can't believe it's not fascism! wing has begun...
Fermanagh and Armagh Republican Army Have been reassembled in response to increased Ulster Front activity and are pursuing a campaign of violence in Britain to disrupt Unison, BF and (possibly) NPP gun-running to the region. Because the Border War wasn't horrifying enough!
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Time Enough
"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
- Pronouns
- He/Him
British Political Party Rundown for 1934
Left
Co-Operative Party: Alfred Barnes is running the first majority government in ten years, okay it’s a majority of 6 but still give the man some credit. The agenda is create more Co-Ops, Co-Operatise the Transport industry, negotiate with the Unions who plan to plunge Britain into yet another General Strike, the rise of Futurism, reduce the unemployment rate from 20 million and achieve the dreams of Robert Owen and the Chartists. Oh boy.
Reform Party: Herbert Morrison and Ellen Wilkinson are a pretty good double team, what with them avoiding been blamed for helping cause the recession in the first place due to there implementing of policies with the Liberals and Unionists. Now to carry on with the preaching the Reform Party’s usual policies of Nationalisation, a Welfare State, Corporatism and Eugenics like how old Sidney would have wanted it.
Socialist Labour Party: In 31 it looked like that the Socialist Labour Party was going to finally rule Britain. Then that stupid radical Marxist Malcolm MacDonald had to split off and form his own party leading to an awkward reshuffle in which we find the son of British Railway Magnate Stanley Baldwin, Oliver Baldwin leading a party of Socialists and Union Members who all hate his dad and the press who keep on asking about his relationship with his assistant John Boyle. Fun times.
Social Democratic Party: Ah yes a party of Marxists calling themselves Social Democrats. Malcolm MacDonald keeps on insisting that the Socialist Labour Party are Syndicalist splitters and that he’s carrying on the true work of Marx and his weird cult of personality agree with him. How he’s going to do that when they only have one seat in Parliament is beyond me but still.
The Progressive Party: This one is a odd one really, a group of lovely Christian Socialists and Liberals who agree with most of what then SLP says but also thinks there godless atheists, doesn’t think the Co-Operative Party goes far enough and doesn’t like the idea of sterilising mentally ill people so the Reform Party is out of the question. There two MPs Wedgwood Benn and Richard Acland are very popular though so they still keep on trucking.
Centre
Liberal: Despite the fact that there Party has been redundant for the last 30 years they still limp on. Hey someone needs to keep fighting for free trade and I guess Herbert Samuel is that somebody.
Right
The Unionist Party: Just had a leadership election and in the end Mr Attlee won. Not because he was the favourite candidate but because the other two had flaws, Sir Stafford Cripps was the true favourite but he’s a Catholic so that wouldn’t go and Austen Chamberlin keeps on insisting that we invade Ireland and whilst everyone in the party agrees, they believe having a war with Ireland right now would be a bad idea. So Attlee and his vision of bland Red Toryism it is then.
The National Party: Hey look it’s all the people considered too weird for the Reform or Liberal Party. Rotha Orman really sure likes wearing militaristic outfits and going on xenophobic rants about how we should be gassing Indian rebels. Meanwhile Baden Powell keeps on insisting the Army overthrow the dangerous Socialists in Government. The only thing they hate more than Socialists though are Futurists and so that’s why we don’t have to worry about them for awhile.
The Futurist Party: Reactionary Modernist National Syndicalism is so in vogue right now. There leader D.H.Lawrence keeps on preaching about how we need to have a German style Military Dictatorship essentially and how Germany is the pinnacle of Western Civilisation etc. Despite Mr Lawrence being considered a crank by many there sure are a lot of rich people that like what he says.
Celtic Union: Claim to follow Marxist-Connellyism but I don’t remember the part where he called for the extermination of all the Anglo-Saxon race and the rise of a new Celtic order. It’s amazing they haven’t been banned yet.
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This is beyond brilliant.
Wolfram
Well-known member
- Location
- North Campus, Austin, Texas
- Pronouns
- he/him
AUTOCRACY WATCH is a project of the Antonín Škoda Center for Democracy and Cybernetics at the Pontifical Catholic University of Bexar, in conjunction with Oikoumene Periodical.
>load ftd/chesapeake_2024_0304_eng
Loading...
AUTOCRACY WATCH CHESAPEAKE
Monday, March 4, 2024
-Microsummary:
--On Monday, President Johnson announced another round of purges after the attempted coup in November 2023, executing four high-level naval commanders and arresting a broad swathe of officials and bureaucrats, including Nicholas Bayard, the nephew of former Vice President Thomas F. Bayard III and the former head of the Border Security Bureau. Unlike previous arrests, which were seemingly targeted primarily at political opponents of the regime, most of the figures involved in this purge are believed to have been largely apolitical or pro-regime, raising the possibility that the Public Security and National Sovereignty Agency (the Chesapeake equivalent to the Texas Rangers) has targeted those actually involved in either the Captains' Coup or some other effort.
--The Peninsular Army, which is despite its name a paramilitary group not officially affiliated with Annapolis, begun its olympic Bugeye military exercises on Wednesday. This year, in addition to its traditional simulation of an assault on Virginian military installments on the Accomack Peninsula, the exercise will be simulating water-based attacks on mainland Virginia. As the Accomack Peninsula has long been claimed by Chesapeake and the Virginian Navy plays a crucial role in policing sanctions in the Chesapeake Bay area, winning control of the Chesapeake Bay outlet to the sea has been one of the highest priorities, and perhaps the very highest priority, of Chesapeakean grand strategy.
--His Excellency William Stanford, the Bishop of Baltimore, and several other members of Diocese staff were placed under house arrest on Thursday before being released early Sunday morning. Chesapeake gives official priority and legal advantages de jure to two religious groups, the Patriotic Association of Catholics in Chesapeake and the Baltimore Methodist Convention, but ostensibly allows freedom of religion; however, non-state-affiliated religions often face persecution. This is particularly true of the Roman Catholic Church (as opposed to the sedevacantist Patriotic Association of Catholics in Chesapeake, the members of which have been officially excommunicated since 1988; see "False Prophets and True Tyrants: Heretical State 'Catholicism' in Chesapeake and Britain" in 2018's Monterey Review), as top policymakers have long been suspicious of the Vatican as a "foreign influence" and for its crusades against racism.
--Two members of the Strategic Diplomatic Corps (Chesapeake's external intelligence service) were arrested at Philadelphia's Franklin Airport on Thursday evening, while attempting to board a plane for Ottawa with forged identification. The two members, believed to have illegally entered the United States through the Claymont SEZ, were found with substantial quantities of counterfeit American and Canadian currency, as well as high-quality hypersomine.
--On Friday, the Liberian government announced a deal with the Chesapeake National Auto Company to build two new volant engine plants in suburban Monrovia. The deal is part of long-standing ties with the National Whig Party, in which Afro-Chesapeakean exiles and their descendants make up a key voting bloc. Liberia is one of only a few nations that actively conducts trade with Chesapeake, and since the fall of the Whig government of Maine, has become the nation's primary trading partner.
--The University of Chesapeake at Wilmington announced on Friday that it would be shutting down its Engineering College for the remainder of the semester and exploring moving the program to the University of Chesapeake at Baltimore on a permanent basis. This came on the heels of the departure of eight students and alumni, including an Air Force officer, to the United States in January. State media has spread the narrative that the university had been a "hotbed of radicalism... spread by American subversion agencies from across the border".
Also published in this issue are an anonymous escapee's account of the Chesapeake justice system, Jacqueline Durant's analysis of economic trends and where they might lead, Aaron Fairfax's paper on public education on social sciences, and Giovanni Brevi's paper on nationalism in Delaware.
>load ftd/chesapeake_2024_0304_eng
Loading...
AUTOCRACY WATCH CHESAPEAKE
Monday, March 4, 2024
-Microsummary:
--On Monday, President Johnson announced another round of purges after the attempted coup in November 2023, executing four high-level naval commanders and arresting a broad swathe of officials and bureaucrats, including Nicholas Bayard, the nephew of former Vice President Thomas F. Bayard III and the former head of the Border Security Bureau. Unlike previous arrests, which were seemingly targeted primarily at political opponents of the regime, most of the figures involved in this purge are believed to have been largely apolitical or pro-regime, raising the possibility that the Public Security and National Sovereignty Agency (the Chesapeake equivalent to the Texas Rangers) has targeted those actually involved in either the Captains' Coup or some other effort.
--The Peninsular Army, which is despite its name a paramilitary group not officially affiliated with Annapolis, begun its olympic Bugeye military exercises on Wednesday. This year, in addition to its traditional simulation of an assault on Virginian military installments on the Accomack Peninsula, the exercise will be simulating water-based attacks on mainland Virginia. As the Accomack Peninsula has long been claimed by Chesapeake and the Virginian Navy plays a crucial role in policing sanctions in the Chesapeake Bay area, winning control of the Chesapeake Bay outlet to the sea has been one of the highest priorities, and perhaps the very highest priority, of Chesapeakean grand strategy.
--His Excellency William Stanford, the Bishop of Baltimore, and several other members of Diocese staff were placed under house arrest on Thursday before being released early Sunday morning. Chesapeake gives official priority and legal advantages de jure to two religious groups, the Patriotic Association of Catholics in Chesapeake and the Baltimore Methodist Convention, but ostensibly allows freedom of religion; however, non-state-affiliated religions often face persecution. This is particularly true of the Roman Catholic Church (as opposed to the sedevacantist Patriotic Association of Catholics in Chesapeake, the members of which have been officially excommunicated since 1988; see "False Prophets and True Tyrants: Heretical State 'Catholicism' in Chesapeake and Britain" in 2018's Monterey Review), as top policymakers have long been suspicious of the Vatican as a "foreign influence" and for its crusades against racism.
--Two members of the Strategic Diplomatic Corps (Chesapeake's external intelligence service) were arrested at Philadelphia's Franklin Airport on Thursday evening, while attempting to board a plane for Ottawa with forged identification. The two members, believed to have illegally entered the United States through the Claymont SEZ, were found with substantial quantities of counterfeit American and Canadian currency, as well as high-quality hypersomine.
--On Friday, the Liberian government announced a deal with the Chesapeake National Auto Company to build two new volant engine plants in suburban Monrovia. The deal is part of long-standing ties with the National Whig Party, in which Afro-Chesapeakean exiles and their descendants make up a key voting bloc. Liberia is one of only a few nations that actively conducts trade with Chesapeake, and since the fall of the Whig government of Maine, has become the nation's primary trading partner.
--The University of Chesapeake at Wilmington announced on Friday that it would be shutting down its Engineering College for the remainder of the semester and exploring moving the program to the University of Chesapeake at Baltimore on a permanent basis. This came on the heels of the departure of eight students and alumni, including an Air Force officer, to the United States in January. State media has spread the narrative that the university had been a "hotbed of radicalism... spread by American subversion agencies from across the border".
Also published in this issue are an anonymous escapee's account of the Chesapeake justice system, Jacqueline Durant's analysis of economic trends and where they might lead, Aaron Fairfax's paper on public education on social sciences, and Giovanni Brevi's paper on nationalism in Delaware.
Time Enough
"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Thanks, this was based upon the idea of a timeline in which Fergus O'Connor managing to form an earlier Co-Op Party and things radically get weirder by the 1930s, I didn’t get time to write it but the idea of this world was fun.
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OwenM
The patronising flippancy of youth
- Location
- Colwyn Bay/Manchester
- Pronouns
- He/him
Not done one of these before, but this would not leave my head till it was done.
Landing Province Assembly
The Left
Social Democrats: Ancelotti seems absolutely determined to ride her government down in flames having pissed off all sides. I suppose that’s what radical centre-left means. Since she can’t even fill the vacant Ministries, a formal vote of no confidence is expected within the fortnight.
United Left: Can’t be bothered to go through all the individual parties, but they seem to be generally agreed that the alcohol nationalisation bill doesn’t go far enough, what with how it doesn’t involve brewers and grocers being flogged naked through the streets and does involve them being paid compensation. However, one group – the Communists bracket I can’t remember which – has decided to leave over supporting the Public Works Scheme expansion, as the scheme existing in the first place constitutes propping up capitalism. I’m sure there’s a market for saying the government’s least popular policy doesn’t go far enough and its most is a move in the wrong direction, but I’m not sure it’s one that gets you seats in the Assembly.
New Tomorrow: Alton and Fischer have resigned as Ministers over the Premier and her party allegedly violating commitments on how the PWS expansion would work. But despite the vote in the executive, Hanson has so far refused. No one’s moving to split the party yet, but surely it’s only a matter of time?
The Centre
United Farmers: Basically the same as New Tomorrow, except whilst half of the broken promises Iglesias is complaining about are the same, the other half seem to be the exact opposite of Fischer’s. Hmm, on reflection, maybe there are reasons beyond Ancelotti’s intransigence why the government is collapsing.
Liberals: Vallon is absolutely loving this, the glee as she makes hay on alcohol nationalisation is palpable. Finally, a civil liberties issue the general public actually cares about, and with the other parties who could gain as a result failing to properly go for the jugular, they’re actually breaking through! Maybe they’ll even manage 10%.
Christian Democrats: After failing to bring down Ancelotti and looking like dicks by trying to reopen the Religious Instruction Compromise last year, have decided a crisis for their new enemies is a perfect time to reinforce the point by trying to reopen Sex and Relationships Education.
The Right
Conservatives: Are remaining Above The Fray and Looking Statesmanlike. Working so far, but Maxwell’s personal ratings are tumbling and they’re failing to reap the easy benefits from the surge in grassroots right activism.
Classical Liberals: Not so subtly implied that alcohol nationalisation is a Muslim plot, then dissipated the support this got them (but not the outrage) by demanding referendums on reversing the Beef Inquiry and legalising necrophilia. They’re now trying to deny the latter and “clarifying” the former.
Identity and Sovereignty: Three years after breaking in to the Assembly, with the left in disarray, they should be laughing – instead, hoo boy, what a clusterfuck. The executive committee, understandably, removed Lassiter as chairman (and yes, they do use that title still, because of course they do) when the indictment came down – and then the Lassiterite ultras joined with other dissidents on the council to insist Schneider, the vice-chairman, couldn’t continue as acting chairman “longer than necessary”. So they’re trying to run a leadership election in the middle of a government crisis.
Landing Province Assembly
The Left
Social Democrats: Ancelotti seems absolutely determined to ride her government down in flames having pissed off all sides. I suppose that’s what radical centre-left means. Since she can’t even fill the vacant Ministries, a formal vote of no confidence is expected within the fortnight.
United Left: Can’t be bothered to go through all the individual parties, but they seem to be generally agreed that the alcohol nationalisation bill doesn’t go far enough, what with how it doesn’t involve brewers and grocers being flogged naked through the streets and does involve them being paid compensation. However, one group – the Communists bracket I can’t remember which – has decided to leave over supporting the Public Works Scheme expansion, as the scheme existing in the first place constitutes propping up capitalism. I’m sure there’s a market for saying the government’s least popular policy doesn’t go far enough and its most is a move in the wrong direction, but I’m not sure it’s one that gets you seats in the Assembly.
New Tomorrow: Alton and Fischer have resigned as Ministers over the Premier and her party allegedly violating commitments on how the PWS expansion would work. But despite the vote in the executive, Hanson has so far refused. No one’s moving to split the party yet, but surely it’s only a matter of time?
The Centre
United Farmers: Basically the same as New Tomorrow, except whilst half of the broken promises Iglesias is complaining about are the same, the other half seem to be the exact opposite of Fischer’s. Hmm, on reflection, maybe there are reasons beyond Ancelotti’s intransigence why the government is collapsing.
Liberals: Vallon is absolutely loving this, the glee as she makes hay on alcohol nationalisation is palpable. Finally, a civil liberties issue the general public actually cares about, and with the other parties who could gain as a result failing to properly go for the jugular, they’re actually breaking through! Maybe they’ll even manage 10%.
Christian Democrats: After failing to bring down Ancelotti and looking like dicks by trying to reopen the Religious Instruction Compromise last year, have decided a crisis for their new enemies is a perfect time to reinforce the point by trying to reopen Sex and Relationships Education.
The Right
Conservatives: Are remaining Above The Fray and Looking Statesmanlike. Working so far, but Maxwell’s personal ratings are tumbling and they’re failing to reap the easy benefits from the surge in grassroots right activism.
Classical Liberals: Not so subtly implied that alcohol nationalisation is a Muslim plot, then dissipated the support this got them (but not the outrage) by demanding referendums on reversing the Beef Inquiry and legalising necrophilia. They’re now trying to deny the latter and “clarifying” the former.
Identity and Sovereignty: Three years after breaking in to the Assembly, with the left in disarray, they should be laughing – instead, hoo boy, what a clusterfuck. The executive committee, understandably, removed Lassiter as chairman (and yes, they do use that title still, because of course they do) when the indictment came down – and then the Lassiterite ultras joined with other dissidents on the council to insist Schneider, the vice-chairman, couldn’t continue as acting chairman “longer than necessary”. So they’re trying to run a leadership election in the middle of a government crisis.
- Matteo Schneider – candidate of the Third Positionist party establishment. Has written three newspaper columns explaining he is not bankrupt. Financially, I mean; he’s written a lot more about how he isn’t morally despite what his actions over the inquiry might suggest. Is emphasising a lot that whether or not Lassiter is guilty, the important part is that some of the alleged victims were non-white.
- Zoe Lassiter – the Lassiter personality cult candidate, openly running on just being a puppet. Need I say more?
- Mark George – Definitely not a white supremacist, he just thinks the Third Positionism went too far. Especially when they dropped the halal/kosher ban.
- George Wong – as you might guess from the name, thinks Schneider’s Third Positionism doesn’t go far enough and the party’s support for “single-culture-settlements” should be a bit less focused on white gated communities and more on segregating everyone.
- Charles Musk – comedy libertarian, thinks that they aren’t going far enough in opposing alcohol nationalisation by just voting against it and regularly talking about how it would be bad. Also worried that the single-culture settlements would in practice be autarkies instead of capitalist havens. Will probably fuck off to the Classical Liberals when he loses, possibly causing them to split.
- Alex McAllister – Token Prohibitionist. After all, alcohol distracts from the focus on countering the evils of race mixing, white genocide, and the gay agenda (seriously, even amongst the fascists, who still calls it that?).
Government parties:
Justice: The Dollar is only worth €0,25, unemployment has hit 20%, the British just killed 40 American solidiers in Cuba and the age of marriage has been lowered to 16. Welcome to Mike Fuck-a-bee's America.
Nationalist: Huckabee must have some disgusting blackmail on Larry McDonald. Seriously, how the fuck did he convince Edwin Walker's succesor to hold a speech in Spanish in front of Mexican refugees?
Alliance of Colored Voters: Who's going to tell Huckabee that making all 6 of your Black parliamentarians form a new party is not going to win you the south?
Unity: Don't kid your self. Virgil Goode only joined the 'People's Alliance' for that sweet congressional pension.
Opposition:
Republican: According to recent leaked RNC documents they are worried about New York Governor Pete Buttigieg's chances in 2022 because of the rumours that he is gay and/or an Arab. This is the guy that won you New York AFTER 24 YEARS. HOW INCOMPETENT CAN YOU BE SCHUMER?
E Pluribus Unum: Leaving the Nationalist party and taking a third of the party with her was really admirable and brave from Susan Collins. It was also incredibly stupid, half of them lost re-election, but damn this lady got balls.
Rainbow Coalition: Guys it is the 1245th day of Tupac Shakur's imprisonment. I was told that locking him up would win us the fight against the Nation of Islam, but Quanell X is still out there.
Ethics Party: The cool evagenlicals, except for the fact they support conversion therapy, making abortion a punishable offense, cutting ties with Guyana and 'making the Church of Latter-day Saints' illegal. I'll be honest. I only like them because of Gary Bauer's weekly responses to Huckabee on Myspace.
Communist Party: Goveror Ojeda and his allies in the West Virginia legislature are pretty much the only elected Communists in the country. Somehow Ojeda is the most popular elected official in this godforsaken country.
The Shakur Movement: Ashanta left the Rainbow Coalition to set up her own political party, stripping her self of Political immunity in the process. There is already an arrest warrant against her. Rumours say she is hiding somewhere in the Barataria Bay.
New Democratic Party: Dear Angus King and Buddy Roemer, I don't think anyone wanted the revival of the Democrats. Huey Long was hanged for a reason.
American Volkisch Party: Am I the only one that remembers Lyndon LaRouche fought side by side with The Nation of Islam? Damn, I'm old.
Rally for the Republic: Well fuck me sideways I thought I would never see the day where formef VP John Boehner would actually deliver and form his own party. Their platform is more progressive than the Republicans as well, fuck you Chuck!
Justice: The Dollar is only worth €0,25, unemployment has hit 20%, the British just killed 40 American solidiers in Cuba and the age of marriage has been lowered to 16. Welcome to Mike Fuck-a-bee's America.
Nationalist: Huckabee must have some disgusting blackmail on Larry McDonald. Seriously, how the fuck did he convince Edwin Walker's succesor to hold a speech in Spanish in front of Mexican refugees?
Alliance of Colored Voters: Who's going to tell Huckabee that making all 6 of your Black parliamentarians form a new party is not going to win you the south?
Unity: Don't kid your self. Virgil Goode only joined the 'People's Alliance' for that sweet congressional pension.
Opposition:
Republican: According to recent leaked RNC documents they are worried about New York Governor Pete Buttigieg's chances in 2022 because of the rumours that he is gay and/or an Arab. This is the guy that won you New York AFTER 24 YEARS. HOW INCOMPETENT CAN YOU BE SCHUMER?
E Pluribus Unum: Leaving the Nationalist party and taking a third of the party with her was really admirable and brave from Susan Collins. It was also incredibly stupid, half of them lost re-election, but damn this lady got balls.
Rainbow Coalition: Guys it is the 1245th day of Tupac Shakur's imprisonment. I was told that locking him up would win us the fight against the Nation of Islam, but Quanell X is still out there.
Ethics Party: The cool evagenlicals, except for the fact they support conversion therapy, making abortion a punishable offense, cutting ties with Guyana and 'making the Church of Latter-day Saints' illegal. I'll be honest. I only like them because of Gary Bauer's weekly responses to Huckabee on Myspace.
Communist Party: Goveror Ojeda and his allies in the West Virginia legislature are pretty much the only elected Communists in the country. Somehow Ojeda is the most popular elected official in this godforsaken country.
The Shakur Movement: Ashanta left the Rainbow Coalition to set up her own political party, stripping her self of Political immunity in the process. There is already an arrest warrant against her. Rumours say she is hiding somewhere in the Barataria Bay.
New Democratic Party: Dear Angus King and Buddy Roemer, I don't think anyone wanted the revival of the Democrats. Huey Long was hanged for a reason.
American Volkisch Party: Am I the only one that remembers Lyndon LaRouche fought side by side with The Nation of Islam? Damn, I'm old.
Rally for the Republic: Well fuck me sideways I thought I would never see the day where formef VP John Boehner would actually deliver and form his own party. Their platform is more progressive than the Republicans as well, fuck you Chuck!
Time Enough
"Enthusiastic Cis Male Partner"
- Pronouns
- He/Him
American Political Party Rundown for 1934
LeftIndustrial Democrats: Alright boys, John Dewey is going to lead us to victory any day now. Yes yes yes, we only have 14 seats in congress and those damn Midwestern Farmer Laborers keeping on beating us in the polls but hey we're popular in New York and Chicago at the moment so that's something and any day now the people of America will accept our brand of Guild Socialism and Co-Operative Value *America is in the Middle of a General Strike and the National Guard has been called*
Farmer-Labor Party: Howdy there, if you like Socialism, Co-Operative values, Social Democracy or Progressive values all delivered with a folksy Midwestern charm that only Floyd B Olson can provide then we're the party for you. Sure the country is the midst of a Great Depression but the MidWest ain't experiencing mainly due to our aggressive...I mean our well balanced nationalising policies...and sure Fascists keep on trying to crash our meetings and we are having to arm our supporters. But hey, at least we ain't the South.
Progressive Party: Those La Follette brothers and there insistence on Social Democracy seems to really get through to people, maybe it helps that the Democrats have imploded, the Republicans are shit, most of the Left are 'evil Marxists' and the less we say about the Unionists and the America Party the better. Also hey we support Unions, Liberal Reforms and gosh darn it we will definitely sort out segregation to. Now the only thing we need is a charismatic spokesman...no not you Wallace stop asking.
Socialist Party of America: Don't worry folks, we're gaining speed. Sure the Communists are biting our Left and the Industrial Democrats and Farmer-Labor, Progressives are biting our Right but by golly we have gained at least the Centre of the American Left Wing with the strong leadership of...Daniel Hoan. Hmm...maybe we need to get someone younger in...*Jay Lovestone, Homer Martin and the might of IWW grins*
Communist Party of America: All those splitters have been ousted, Browder is being reeducated and now the true light of Communism will lead the way. Step forth James P Cannon and James Ford, together we will bring Communism to America...by wining seats in Harlem and the South...okay we need a better plan folks and no it can't be armed revolution.
Center
Republicans: Okay okay, America's on fire but don't worry we have a plan to deal with this. Minor Reform. What you don't like that plan, well fuck you Charles Curtis is the President, we run the Senate and given how the Democrats have imploded it's not like you have much of a choice now is it...wait why are you going on strike.
Right
Unionist Party: We believe in good old values buddy, we believe in silver, populism, sharing the wealth and also making sure that every man has food in his belly and a roof over his head. Not if your Black, Asian or Jewish though, you already have a enough. Also Unions are made up of Godless Marxists and so we are working with the National Guard to restore order...*Cue riots*. Oh dear.
America First Party: What do you get when your too batshit crazy for even the Unionists...you get theses guys. With there Fascist swagger and there well stocked private militia of Blackshirts these guys are going to implement Fascist Corporatism by force. Time to recreate Mussolini's march and to violently oust the Unions *Cue Running Battles across Chicago*
Banned:
The Legion: Essentially the Political Wing of the KKK before they fucked up and the Republicans banned them. Not particularly doing much apart from supporting the America First folks and getting all there weapons ready for the coming revolution.
- Location
- Tamaki Makaurau
An NZ rundown for you! I've spent all 25 of my state-allocated Internet Minutes on this, so I'd better get a fuck-ton of likes by this time tomorrow!
Major Parties
Liberal Party: Boring. They've been in power for literally a century at this point, who even cares about the Allegations?
Reform Party: They're only still a thing because the country quota somehow hasn't been abolished yet. And also because of the Special Purpose Electorates. I think it's getting up to 40 years since any of them demonstrated possession of a spine.
Parties Represented in the 20 Workers' Seats
United Labour Party: The Liberals but for poor people. I should probably explain the electoral system at this point: all members of trade unions (membership is compulsory for most blue-collar occupations) are enrolled in floterial constituencies for working class people, as a means of ensuring minority representation. The ULP includes arbitrationist workers and Georgist land tax fans, and it traditionally contributes two Cabinet Ministers to the Liberal Government.
Socialist Federation: Anti-arbitrationists who set larger store by extra-parliamentary activity on account of the fact that they will never win a majority. Much stronger since most of the Communists rejoined the Fed (which had something to do with 'praxis', although I was hitherto under the impression that this was something from the Edge Chronicles). They are the main opposition in the Workers' Seats, but understandably have few strategic options due to the stringent laws on illegal (i.e. all) industrial action.
Parties Represented in the 10 Women's Seats
WomeNZ Party: Generally aligned with the Reformers, which is presumably why they haven't had any notable policy wins since Ellen Melville died.
Female Labour Network: Representing working women, which is obviously a tiny minority of the general population, but they've had a tight grip of the Wellington Ladies' electorate since the 80s. Women, of course, are unable to join the blue-collar unions (they can work on the docks or whatever, but only at non-union rates of pay, and it's this whole big drama right now which I don't really understand tbh) so the FLaNs are mostly secretaries and (allegedly) prostitutes. Respectable women join the Housewives' Union, which is of course identical with the branch network of the WomeNZ Party.
Feminist Party: Recently founded by a defecting WomeNZ MP, their main thing is to prevent men from swamping the women's seats with transgenders. There's also some other policies on women's rights, but it looks like these are just there to pad out the website. Seems likely that these folks will get an alliance with the Liberals and a Cabinet post, as the Libs have always struggled in these seats due to being led by a series of bulky men with nasty beards.
Parties Represented in the 4 Maori Seats
Te Kingitanga: Support the interests of the Maori King Movement, particularly the provision of pork to the Waikato tribes. They have a lock on Western Maori.
Young Maori Party: Support the retention of Maori land and the economic development of Maori communities, particularly those in the Eastern Maori electorate.
Te Kotahitanga: Support a separate Maori Parliament to have equal constitutional status with the General Assembly, but in the short term they'll settle for investment in the area covered by the Northern Maori seat.
Ratana: Support the restoration to full legality (as they see it) of the Treaty of Waitangi, which takes the tangible form of giving proceeds from tourism to Ngai Tahu. They also have an additional policy of keeping the Tirikatene family in possession of the Southern Maori seat.
Parties Represented in the 3 Homosexual Seats
Social Democratic and Lesbian Party: Louisa's honestly the best parliamentarian out there (and with the emphasis firmly on 'out'). She's been fighting really strongly for the legalisation of gay membership of trades unions, and for the abolition of the Queer Zones. Unfortunately, leaders of the SDLP have a tendency to end up in prison. There are, like, constant by-elections in the Homosexual electorates.
Gay Legion: Really not sure why gay people are so weirdly keen on fascism. Especially in this country, which - as I hope has become clear - isn't as liberal as the brochures make out. Some say it's the uniforms, others have strange theories about how twinks are drawn to authority figures. I couldn't possibly comment.
Major Parties
Liberal Party: Boring. They've been in power for literally a century at this point, who even cares about the Allegations?
Reform Party: They're only still a thing because the country quota somehow hasn't been abolished yet. And also because of the Special Purpose Electorates. I think it's getting up to 40 years since any of them demonstrated possession of a spine.
Parties Represented in the 20 Workers' Seats
United Labour Party: The Liberals but for poor people. I should probably explain the electoral system at this point: all members of trade unions (membership is compulsory for most blue-collar occupations) are enrolled in floterial constituencies for working class people, as a means of ensuring minority representation. The ULP includes arbitrationist workers and Georgist land tax fans, and it traditionally contributes two Cabinet Ministers to the Liberal Government.
Socialist Federation: Anti-arbitrationists who set larger store by extra-parliamentary activity on account of the fact that they will never win a majority. Much stronger since most of the Communists rejoined the Fed (which had something to do with 'praxis', although I was hitherto under the impression that this was something from the Edge Chronicles). They are the main opposition in the Workers' Seats, but understandably have few strategic options due to the stringent laws on illegal (i.e. all) industrial action.
Parties Represented in the 10 Women's Seats
WomeNZ Party: Generally aligned with the Reformers, which is presumably why they haven't had any notable policy wins since Ellen Melville died.
Female Labour Network: Representing working women, which is obviously a tiny minority of the general population, but they've had a tight grip of the Wellington Ladies' electorate since the 80s. Women, of course, are unable to join the blue-collar unions (they can work on the docks or whatever, but only at non-union rates of pay, and it's this whole big drama right now which I don't really understand tbh) so the FLaNs are mostly secretaries and (allegedly) prostitutes. Respectable women join the Housewives' Union, which is of course identical with the branch network of the WomeNZ Party.
Feminist Party: Recently founded by a defecting WomeNZ MP, their main thing is to prevent men from swamping the women's seats with transgenders. There's also some other policies on women's rights, but it looks like these are just there to pad out the website. Seems likely that these folks will get an alliance with the Liberals and a Cabinet post, as the Libs have always struggled in these seats due to being led by a series of bulky men with nasty beards.
Parties Represented in the 4 Maori Seats
Te Kingitanga: Support the interests of the Maori King Movement, particularly the provision of pork to the Waikato tribes. They have a lock on Western Maori.
Young Maori Party: Support the retention of Maori land and the economic development of Maori communities, particularly those in the Eastern Maori electorate.
Te Kotahitanga: Support a separate Maori Parliament to have equal constitutional status with the General Assembly, but in the short term they'll settle for investment in the area covered by the Northern Maori seat.
Ratana: Support the restoration to full legality (as they see it) of the Treaty of Waitangi, which takes the tangible form of giving proceeds from tourism to Ngai Tahu. They also have an additional policy of keeping the Tirikatene family in possession of the Southern Maori seat.
Parties Represented in the 3 Homosexual Seats
Social Democratic and Lesbian Party: Louisa's honestly the best parliamentarian out there (and with the emphasis firmly on 'out'). She's been fighting really strongly for the legalisation of gay membership of trades unions, and for the abolition of the Queer Zones. Unfortunately, leaders of the SDLP have a tendency to end up in prison. There are, like, constant by-elections in the Homosexual electorates.
Gay Legion: Really not sure why gay people are so weirdly keen on fascism. Especially in this country, which - as I hope has become clear - isn't as liberal as the brochures make out. Some say it's the uniforms, others have strange theories about how twinks are drawn to authority figures. I couldn't possibly comment.
www..worldfactbook..com
United Arab Republic
الجمهورية العربية المتحدة (Al-Jumhuriyyah al-Arabiyya al-Muttahida)
Population: 431,986,342 (3rd)
Area: 5,081,365 sq mi/13,160,674 sq km (2nd)
Independence: January 24th, 1959
Languages: Arabic (official), Berber, Kurdish, Turkmen, Turkish, English, Dinka, Assyrian, Coptic.
Religion: Secular state, but has followers of Sunni Islam, Shia Islam, Oriental Orthodoxy, Eastern Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Judaism, and Ibadi Islam.
Geography >
Demographics >
Culture >
Economy >
History ▼
Prehistory >
Ancient >
Middle Ages >
Early Modern >
19th-Early 20th Century >
Mid 20th Century - Present ▼
United Arab Republic
الجمهورية العربية المتحدة (Al-Jumhuriyyah al-Arabiyya al-Muttahida)
Population: 431,986,342 (3rd)
Area: 5,081,365 sq mi/13,160,674 sq km (2nd)
Independence: January 24th, 1959
Languages: Arabic (official), Berber, Kurdish, Turkmen, Turkish, English, Dinka, Assyrian, Coptic.
Religion: Secular state, but has followers of Sunni Islam, Shia Islam, Oriental Orthodoxy, Eastern Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Judaism, and Ibadi Islam.
Geography >
Demographics >
Culture >
Economy >
History ▼
Prehistory >
Ancient >
Middle Ages >
Early Modern >
19th-Early 20th Century >
Mid 20th Century - Present ▼
Politics ▼It was only with the creation of the Israel that the ideological motivations for the creation of a United Arab Republic came into place. The failure of the Egyptian monarchy to defeat Israel led to a coup d'etat by Egyptian officers, which promptly abolished the monarchy. The coup led to Mohammad Naguib being made president of Egypt. After nationalizing the Suez Canal and having Egypt stand its ground against a coalition of the United Kingdom, Israel, and France, Naguib would become very popular in the Arab World. In 1958, a movement in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, similar to that in Egypt, would overthrow the Saudi monarchy, and after a brief civil war lead to the creation of a Naguibist state in the Arabian peninsula. With Egypt under Naguib, Lebanon under Rashid Karami, Syria under al-Quwatli, the former Saudi Arabia under Talal al Saud, and Iraq under Abdul Salam Arif, the five nations would unite to form the United Arab Republic.
With the formation of the UAR, the goal was then to crush Israel. Israel had been firmly non-aligned, seeing as how it couldn't trust the increasingly pro-UAR, but its leftist leadership couldn't trust the US either. As such, it sought to arm itself against any possible invasion. The UAR was aware of this and also begin to arm itself to fully prepare itself against a war with Israel.
The Three Years' War began in 1963, when the UAR suspected that Israel was arming Maronite Christian militias in the restive UAR republic of Lebanon. After 50 Arabian soldiers were killed in a bomb blast done by a Maronite militia based in Israel, the UAR would declare war. Israel held out fairly well, but ultimately would fall in 1966 after a UAR blockade prevented any supplies from coming into Israel. Reprisal killings against Jews would occur, and millions of Jews would end up fleeing to the United States.
With the defeat of Israel, the ideology of Pan-Arabism would be vindicated. One after another, in Yemen, in Sudan, in Libya, in Algeria, in Oman, in the Trucial states, Arabist regimes would take over, mainly through a coup d'etat. The 1975-1977 Arab-Iran War, which would end in the UAR taking al-Ahwaz, would further bolster the ideology, and by 1980 the United Arab Republic would be the only Arab state in the world, the goal of uniting the Arab peoples having been completed.
However, after scoring victory after victory, the leadership of the United Arab Republic began to get too confident in what they could achieve. The death of Naguib in 1982 led to the formation of the Presidential Action Committee, a ten-member council of politicians from across the UAR in which they would decide the future of the UAR after Naguib. Naguib was very much the glue holding the UAR together, and none of the members of the PAC could claim to be as popular as him. As such, they needed something to hold the UAR, and more importantly, the ruling Arab Socialist Union party, together.
Abdul Salam Arif, the president of Iraq at the time it unified with the UAR, would be made president in 1983, after 210 days of PAC rule. Arif was aware of the need to unify the country after Naguib's death, and saw the civil war in Turkey as a great opportunity. Just six months after becoming president, the UAR would enter the Turkish province of Hatay and annex it. The United States, angered by a foreign country choosing to annex territory from an allied government (the US was supporting the Turkish government), would place sanctions on the UAR. Arif would end succeeding in uniting the Arabs of the UAR for a time, but soon sanctions began to hurt the Arabian economy. By 1990, the people of the UAR reached their limit, and would take out to the streets to stand against the ASU, its mismanagement of the economy, and its growing repression. Arif would try to crack down on the protests, but only succeeded in widening them. Fearing that this would lead to the dissolution of the republic, Arif announced his resignation on January 22nd, 1990, just two days before the UAR's 31st "Union Day". Arif would be succeeded by Ali Abdullah Saleh, who promised compromise, then full acceptance of the protestors entire demands. The first fair and free elections in the UAR would be held in 1991.
The UAR would face one big challenge in the 1990s, one which still persists today, in Palestine. Many extremist Zionists never forgot the defeat in the Three Years War, and would try to restore Israel, mainly through violence. Many of these terrorists would come from the United States to fight in the UAR, which would lead to the UAR imposing travel restrictions of Americans coming to the country. By committing terrorist attacks in broad daylight, many of these groups hope to wear down the authorities to where they are forced to a settlement. Of course, any government doing this will lose their legitimacy, but the strategy persists. The deadliest attack was in 2002 when three American extreme Zionists would open fire on Muslims praying in al-Aqsa, killing 200 and injuring 300. Maronite Christian, Sunni extremist, South Sudanese, and Kurdish separatist terrorism are also problems.
The three flags of the United Arab Republic: The first was in place from 1959-1992, the second was in place from 1992-1996, the third is its current flag and has been since 1996.
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kratostatic
Neutral twin
- Location
- Anyers-upon-Senn, Island-of-France
- Pronouns
- He/him
Shouldn't Berber be in here (30-odd million speakers today mostly between Morocco and Algeria), or did something nasty happen at some point?
I really like a lot of the other world building stuff you slipped in there as well, nice and subtle and felt like a real article in the history part (politics part is obviously a more informal rundown).
Yeah, I forgot about it. I will edit.
The current state of political parties within the Austro-Moravian Republic
The Left
Communist Party of Austro-Moravia: Pavel Novotný has threatened the government with a general strike should they continue with their proposed changes to the employment laws. Considering Novotný has the the oratorical skill of a dead sheep said strike will probably consist of Pavel, his husband and that weird bloke with the whippet on a string who hangs around the Palace of Ministers.
Workers League (Bukharinist-Martovist Tendency): Also threatened a strike but this has a bit more weight due to their ties to the Unions, especially in the defense sectors. Also deosn't hurt that the most recent defections from the Communists have pumped up their numbers in the House significantly. It would probably help if Kessler didn't feel the need to wave a copy of Bukharin's Little Red Book around at every opportunity however but at least the satirists are grateful.
Alliance for Democracy '85: "I can't believe its not Socialism(TM)". Ok thats slightly unfair but their attempts to be all things to all Left Wing men tends to give them all the consistency of runny butter. Their attempts at being the grown ups in the room (Jimmi Metzger's words not mine) backfired when they tried to work with the Government to draft the new Employment legislation and promptly got shown up for being both feeble and thick. Also the pro-democracy movement succeeded 35 years ago, change your name!
Progressive Jewish Labour Bund: Moshe Vogelman is back in jail again, this time for breaking into the Steyr headquarters in protest at the recent Egyptian arms shipment. The fact that he was convicted under the old anti-Bolshevist (((Cosmopolitan))) Laws hasn't gone unnoticed. 25'000 turned out in Martyrs Square at protest at his sentencing also so I would expect the Government to push forward some sort of clemency deal as soon as possible.
The Center
Advance! (The Liberals): Černý has finally got his much heralded Equal Marriage Act passed through Parliament, no mean feat to face down the the Catholic Leagues influence. Unfortunately the costs was a quid pro quo on the Employment Act so hes now getting absolutely pelted from the Left AND the Right. Poor Jakub, he can't do right for doing wrong.
Austro-Moravian Democratic Party: Becker is still the boss, well just about as a working majority of 2 isn't exactly a recipe for stability. He has staked his Premiership on successfully passing his new Rational Employment Act which angers the Left for rolling back Karl Bauer's worker protections but also angers the Right by not going far enough in repelling the Gender and Racial quota system. Not helped by his old rival Benes looking to stir up a revolt within the party to finally claim the leadership. Probably should have given him that ambassadorship to the Akihito court and got him out of the way.
Moravian Peoples party: Still loudly crowing for another Independence referendum, the fact the last one went 65% remain doesn't seem to have sunk in. Still they have been crafty enough to suggest they could support the Employment Act for further devolution but Becker ain't biting.
The Right
Catholic League: Widely shouting betrayal over the Equal Marriage Act and have made clear to Becker that he can kiss goodbye any further co-operation within the lifetime of this Parliament. They will fancy their chances in Tyrol and Voralberg next election so expect the AMDP to put that off for as long as possible.
German Peoples Party: Widely calling for Vogelman's sentence to be increased (naturally) and demanding that the quota laws be repealed before they support the Employment Act. Kresstein's bizzare saber-rattling demonstration at the Bayern border just completes the Fash look.
Ecology 2000: Did Kuntzman really just suggest that the current African famine should be allowed to run its course to "reduce population pressures and the migrant stream"? Kuntz by name, Kuntz by nature.
The Left
Communist Party of Austro-Moravia: Pavel Novotný has threatened the government with a general strike should they continue with their proposed changes to the employment laws. Considering Novotný has the the oratorical skill of a dead sheep said strike will probably consist of Pavel, his husband and that weird bloke with the whippet on a string who hangs around the Palace of Ministers.
Workers League (Bukharinist-Martovist Tendency): Also threatened a strike but this has a bit more weight due to their ties to the Unions, especially in the defense sectors. Also deosn't hurt that the most recent defections from the Communists have pumped up their numbers in the House significantly. It would probably help if Kessler didn't feel the need to wave a copy of Bukharin's Little Red Book around at every opportunity however but at least the satirists are grateful.
Alliance for Democracy '85: "I can't believe its not Socialism(TM)". Ok thats slightly unfair but their attempts to be all things to all Left Wing men tends to give them all the consistency of runny butter. Their attempts at being the grown ups in the room (Jimmi Metzger's words not mine) backfired when they tried to work with the Government to draft the new Employment legislation and promptly got shown up for being both feeble and thick. Also the pro-democracy movement succeeded 35 years ago, change your name!
Progressive Jewish Labour Bund: Moshe Vogelman is back in jail again, this time for breaking into the Steyr headquarters in protest at the recent Egyptian arms shipment. The fact that he was convicted under the old anti-Bolshevist (((Cosmopolitan))) Laws hasn't gone unnoticed. 25'000 turned out in Martyrs Square at protest at his sentencing also so I would expect the Government to push forward some sort of clemency deal as soon as possible.
The Center
Advance! (The Liberals): Černý has finally got his much heralded Equal Marriage Act passed through Parliament, no mean feat to face down the the Catholic Leagues influence. Unfortunately the costs was a quid pro quo on the Employment Act so hes now getting absolutely pelted from the Left AND the Right. Poor Jakub, he can't do right for doing wrong.
Austro-Moravian Democratic Party: Becker is still the boss, well just about as a working majority of 2 isn't exactly a recipe for stability. He has staked his Premiership on successfully passing his new Rational Employment Act which angers the Left for rolling back Karl Bauer's worker protections but also angers the Right by not going far enough in repelling the Gender and Racial quota system. Not helped by his old rival Benes looking to stir up a revolt within the party to finally claim the leadership. Probably should have given him that ambassadorship to the Akihito court and got him out of the way.
Moravian Peoples party: Still loudly crowing for another Independence referendum, the fact the last one went 65% remain doesn't seem to have sunk in. Still they have been crafty enough to suggest they could support the Employment Act for further devolution but Becker ain't biting.
The Right
Catholic League: Widely shouting betrayal over the Equal Marriage Act and have made clear to Becker that he can kiss goodbye any further co-operation within the lifetime of this Parliament. They will fancy their chances in Tyrol and Voralberg next election so expect the AMDP to put that off for as long as possible.
German Peoples Party: Widely calling for Vogelman's sentence to be increased (naturally) and demanding that the quota laws be repealed before they support the Employment Act. Kresstein's bizzare saber-rattling demonstration at the Bayern border just completes the Fash look.
Ecology 2000: Did Kuntzman really just suggest that the current African famine should be allowed to run its course to "reduce population pressures and the migrant stream"? Kuntz by name, Kuntz by nature.
- Location
- Teignmouth, Devon
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Governing Parties: Three weeks to the date when we were meant to have an election and...looks like no election is possibe anymore. This is lucky for the ailing parties of power but also, I guess, really really not.
Conservative: Cameron has come out of hospital finally committed to that leadership election he promised but never delivered. Maybe. I mean we've heard this before but he reckons he can fit one in between the end of COVID-19 and the next crisis.
Opposition Parties
Labour: Are they still the opposition now that Chuka Umunna, Andy Burnham, Luciana Berger and Mary Creagh attend cabinet? I guess they don't have positions yet though we'll see what happens when parliament re-opens. Chuka is obviously angling to be one of Boris's Parliamentary Under-Secretaries of State.
SNP: Joanna Cherry has been invited to serve in Her Majesty's Government. Which sucks. But the good news is that Alex Salmond has been invited to serve at Her Majesty's pleasure. And that's not an offer he can easily refuse.
Green Party England and Wales: Molly Scott Cato has tried to turn the Green Machine in Bristol West into a movement against social isolation. Which is weird and possibly a breach of GDPR and Natalie Bennett and Caroline Lucas are totally going to copy the idea.
UKIP: Engaging in another round of their constant three war civil war: the Carswellites are insisting the government open everything up for business. The right wants to ban Chinese people, and the Faragists are trying to justify why the party's leader accidentally did a live message in his pants.
DUP: Councillor John Carson has suggested the COVID-19 is Gods judgement for gay marriage being considered Northern Ireland. He told reporters "They laughed and mocked my Saviour too, but some day soon their laughs will turn to screams."
Sinn Fein: Are pure shitting themselves that this might end the posibility of a language bill. Which wasn't going to happen anyway
Plaid Cymru: Leanne Wood is technically in the Welsh cabinet now as... I guess Official Leanne Wood?
SDLP: Encouraging people #RingARelative tonight
Alliance: Still working on a domestic violence bill covering coercive behaviour
Scottish Green Party: Had to cancel their Spring conference for some reason.
People Before Profit: Eamonn McCann has called on the people of Derry to support their local newspaper. This story was reported in... the local... newspaper.
Minor Parties
Trade Union Left Unity: TULUsers have two reasons for existing - to capitalise on standing in over 60 seats and to weirdly stan Bernie Sanders. This month they lost both. Worried for them tbh.
Women's Equality Party: This was going to be their first general election and now it's cancelled! We'll never know if they can beat the FPTP system and come out on top - I'm guessing that we can guess, though.
Animal Welfare Party: In negotiations with XR on doing some kind of Environmentalist Alliance, they may actually have more time to pull it off now.
Conservative: Cameron has come out of hospital finally committed to that leadership election he promised but never delivered. Maybe. I mean we've heard this before but he reckons he can fit one in between the end of COVID-19 and the next crisis.
David Cameron: Let's be honest, odds on favourite is that Cameron will not resign. Again. And it'll be just like 2019 where the Lib Dems threw a wobbly and everything fell through.
George Osborne: The natural heir to Dave - if that's something anyone would want. It's not really though, but he's gained a bit of popularity with his personal letters to every citizen thing. We now all have a photo of the somehow-still-Chancellor, no doubt displayed proudly in our living rooms. I think there's a chance some people would have liked benefits payments instead but whatever.
Boris Johnson: BoJo's face on loop in every NHS Nightingale hospital from every screen, blustering on about keeping a stuff upper lip. Not 100% sure the Minister of Health is the last face I'd like to see before I die but we are where we are.
Theresa May: Using this opportunity to try and push through the Snooper's Charter again in part of the endless anti-hoarder/super-spreader/etc rhetoric that's filling up every facebook ad space. She never seems to quite give up, does she?
Iain Duncan Smith: It's looking like he'll reintroduce benefits for 18s-25s, which is kind of at odds with the idea that young people on workfare will be staffing deliveroo, amazon, and the fruit farms but whatever.
David Davis: Leading the anti-lock down cause from the back benches. Which is to be fair to him gaining popularity from people who basically want to get back to work, or at least back to being paid.
Sam Gyimah: The One Nation Alliance has published an "alternative budget" which would put 30 billion into the fight against COVID, compared to the 10 billion George Osborne put in. They reckon this would pay for PPE and coronavirus tests and that the money would sort of magically appear don't worry about it.
Zak Goldsmith: Goldsmith has been spotted at a constituency Tory party online meeting for the first time since the 2016 by-election, returning to his natural habitat. The Earth is healing. We are the virus.
Liberal Democrat: The leaked Lib Dem election manifesto is like a glimpse into an alternate world - minimum sentencing for workfare placements, a named person scheme, a US style system with pot, an elected House of Lords, STV, and -ugh- a third GRA Consultation. Just think, we could be talking about that stuff. If only, you know, anyone ever talked about the Lib Dems.Opposition Parties
Labour: Are they still the opposition now that Chuka Umunna, Andy Burnham, Luciana Berger and Mary Creagh attend cabinet? I guess they don't have positions yet though we'll see what happens when parliament re-opens. Chuka is obviously angling to be one of Boris's Parliamentary Under-Secretaries of State.
SNP: Joanna Cherry has been invited to serve in Her Majesty's Government. Which sucks. But the good news is that Alex Salmond has been invited to serve at Her Majesty's pleasure. And that's not an offer he can easily refuse.
Green Party England and Wales: Molly Scott Cato has tried to turn the Green Machine in Bristol West into a movement against social isolation. Which is weird and possibly a breach of GDPR and Natalie Bennett and Caroline Lucas are totally going to copy the idea.
UKIP: Engaging in another round of their constant three war civil war: the Carswellites are insisting the government open everything up for business. The right wants to ban Chinese people, and the Faragists are trying to justify why the party's leader accidentally did a live message in his pants.
National PartiesDUP: Councillor John Carson has suggested the COVID-19 is Gods judgement for gay marriage being considered Northern Ireland. He told reporters "They laughed and mocked my Saviour too, but some day soon their laughs will turn to screams."
Sinn Fein: Are pure shitting themselves that this might end the posibility of a language bill. Which wasn't going to happen anyway
Plaid Cymru: Leanne Wood is technically in the Welsh cabinet now as... I guess Official Leanne Wood?
SDLP: Encouraging people #RingARelative tonight
Alliance: Still working on a domestic violence bill covering coercive behaviour
Scottish Green Party: Had to cancel their Spring conference for some reason.
People Before Profit: Eamonn McCann has called on the people of Derry to support their local newspaper. This story was reported in... the local... newspaper.
Minor Parties
Trade Union Left Unity: TULUsers have two reasons for existing - to capitalise on standing in over 60 seats and to weirdly stan Bernie Sanders. This month they lost both. Worried for them tbh.
Women's Equality Party: This was going to be their first general election and now it's cancelled! We'll never know if they can beat the FPTP system and come out on top - I'm guessing that we can guess, though.
Animal Welfare Party: In negotiations with XR on doing some kind of Environmentalist Alliance, they may actually have more time to pull it off now.
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Horrifyingly plausible.
Someone in Scotland wished on the monkey's paw, but for which??
Stuyvesant
Just wait until I actually get my shit together
- Location
- The Place Beyond The Pines
- Pronouns
- he/him
To Stump for my New Thread, have an excerpt from it:
Presidential Schools of Americanism
Columbian School:
The Columbian School is the original school of Americanism, or at least the first one to actually gain traction. It is the school that gave birth to Bannister Smithson's Presidential Project, they are an extremely Dogmatic school, and are actively hostile to other religions, especially Anabaptism, given its long history of violence with the Kaysers of Dietscherei.
Gothamite School:
The Gothamite School of Americanism came about in the Republic of New York, rejecting the growing xenophobia of the Columbian School, and as such is much more tolerant of other religions, they also tend to favor Roosevelt the most of the Rushmore Four. They also tend to be Mercantile-focused, New York was the Economic Capital of Old America, was it not?
Lakes School:
The Lakes School was founded by the Avondale Family in Chicago, and existed among the Rust Cult, they support more focus on the New Presidents, as well as encouraging the Oratory Arts. They were almost completely destroyed by Albert Soady’s Great Viking, now only existing in the city of Cincinnati.
Rushmore School:
The Rushmore School is one of the most divergent Schools of Americanism, they actually reject the importance of all Founders except for the Rushmore Four, after all the Founders may be great, but only four were carved into the Very Mountains. They are extremely militaristic, being surrounded on all sides by hostile forces, they gave two Presidents from the Pitchstone Family, but after the conquest of Dakota by the Sioux, they have slowly faded from relevance, barely holding on around its namesake Mountain.
Southron School:
The Southron School used to be common from Miami to Virginia, but have slowly been driven back by the Perfidious “Holy Columbian Emperors”, but they still endure in Virginia, and if the stories are to be believed, in secret throughout the Empire. They are known for their stealth and Subterfuge, and rumor has it a man in dark sunglasses has been recruiting talented spies from his Fortress in Langley.
Filibuster School:
The Filibuster School takes to heart the words of Bannister Smithson "America was not just an empire, it was a way of life." and believes that the light of Americanism must be spread to all the world by force. This makes them extremely Militaristic, even more so than the Rushmorites. They have undertaken major campaigns, taking San Antonio and Gitmo for themselves, much to their neighbor’s chagrin.
The Florida School:
The Florida School is the newest of the Schools of Americanism, and was created by the Waltney Family of Orlando. The Waltneys were treasure hunters who delved into the Swamps of Central Florida in search of relics of the Old World, and what they found stunned them. A whole “Magic Kingdom” centered around a Castle from their dreams. The Florida School has still not been formalized, but the Waltneys encourage idolization of the entirety of Old America, but do not eschew the New Presidency.
Non-Presidential Schools of Americanism
Libertarians:
The Libertarians are not a School in the traditional sense, but rather a wholly different Antiquarian Religion that is considered part of the Americanist Continuum. They are worshipers of Columbia, Our Lady of Liberty, and do not recognize the New Presidency, they are pacifists, but with a Proud Defensive Tradition. Their Priesthood is led by a First Lady in Nashville, but their stronghold is the Palisades region of Jersey, where they maintain the Statue of Lady Liberty in New York Harbor.
Jeffersonian:
The Jeffersonians are a strain of Radical Americanist thought that believes that all people in Old America were Gods, and that the Founders were simply The First Among Equals, after all are there not countless statues of Everyday People around the Nation. They reject the New Presidency as Apostasy, to claim the title of President is to declare oneself to be a God, and the President is Just A Man.
Hamiltonian:
The Hamiltonians are in most respects the inverse of the Jeffersonians, They believe the Founders had more powers beyond those explicitly stated in the legends and the Declaration. They believe that any righteous Americanist can claim these ‘Implied Powers’ for themselves, and if any American can become as Gods, what need have they for a President?
Presidential Schools of Americanism
Columbian School:
The Columbian School is the original school of Americanism, or at least the first one to actually gain traction. It is the school that gave birth to Bannister Smithson's Presidential Project, they are an extremely Dogmatic school, and are actively hostile to other religions, especially Anabaptism, given its long history of violence with the Kaysers of Dietscherei.
Gothamite School:
The Gothamite School of Americanism came about in the Republic of New York, rejecting the growing xenophobia of the Columbian School, and as such is much more tolerant of other religions, they also tend to favor Roosevelt the most of the Rushmore Four. They also tend to be Mercantile-focused, New York was the Economic Capital of Old America, was it not?
Lakes School:
The Lakes School was founded by the Avondale Family in Chicago, and existed among the Rust Cult, they support more focus on the New Presidents, as well as encouraging the Oratory Arts. They were almost completely destroyed by Albert Soady’s Great Viking, now only existing in the city of Cincinnati.
Rushmore School:
The Rushmore School is one of the most divergent Schools of Americanism, they actually reject the importance of all Founders except for the Rushmore Four, after all the Founders may be great, but only four were carved into the Very Mountains. They are extremely militaristic, being surrounded on all sides by hostile forces, they gave two Presidents from the Pitchstone Family, but after the conquest of Dakota by the Sioux, they have slowly faded from relevance, barely holding on around its namesake Mountain.
Southron School:
The Southron School used to be common from Miami to Virginia, but have slowly been driven back by the Perfidious “Holy Columbian Emperors”, but they still endure in Virginia, and if the stories are to be believed, in secret throughout the Empire. They are known for their stealth and Subterfuge, and rumor has it a man in dark sunglasses has been recruiting talented spies from his Fortress in Langley.
Filibuster School:
The Filibuster School takes to heart the words of Bannister Smithson "America was not just an empire, it was a way of life." and believes that the light of Americanism must be spread to all the world by force. This makes them extremely Militaristic, even more so than the Rushmorites. They have undertaken major campaigns, taking San Antonio and Gitmo for themselves, much to their neighbor’s chagrin.
The Florida School:
The Florida School is the newest of the Schools of Americanism, and was created by the Waltney Family of Orlando. The Waltneys were treasure hunters who delved into the Swamps of Central Florida in search of relics of the Old World, and what they found stunned them. A whole “Magic Kingdom” centered around a Castle from their dreams. The Florida School has still not been formalized, but the Waltneys encourage idolization of the entirety of Old America, but do not eschew the New Presidency.
Non-Presidential Schools of Americanism
Libertarians:
The Libertarians are not a School in the traditional sense, but rather a wholly different Antiquarian Religion that is considered part of the Americanist Continuum. They are worshipers of Columbia, Our Lady of Liberty, and do not recognize the New Presidency, they are pacifists, but with a Proud Defensive Tradition. Their Priesthood is led by a First Lady in Nashville, but their stronghold is the Palisades region of Jersey, where they maintain the Statue of Lady Liberty in New York Harbor.
Jeffersonian:
The Jeffersonians are a strain of Radical Americanist thought that believes that all people in Old America were Gods, and that the Founders were simply The First Among Equals, after all are there not countless statues of Everyday People around the Nation. They reject the New Presidency as Apostasy, to claim the title of President is to declare oneself to be a God, and the President is Just A Man.
Hamiltonian:
The Hamiltonians are in most respects the inverse of the Jeffersonians, They believe the Founders had more powers beyond those explicitly stated in the legends and the Declaration. They believe that any righteous Americanist can claim these ‘Implied Powers’ for themselves, and if any American can become as Gods, what need have they for a President?