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AH Run-downs, summaries and general gubbins
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Makemakean
Mr Makemean
- Pronouns
- Logical, unlike those in German
The Numerous Parties Contesting the Nordic Union Election of 1867:
The Kingdom of Sweden and Grand Principality of Finland:
Hats: Having occupied the Chancery Presidency uninterrupted for nearly twenty years, though the last six in a composition government with the Caps. Their leader is the ever serious Hugo Hubert Ribbing, and he and his party has greatly managed to capitalize on the pan-Scandinavian sentiment. It’s looking though for the Hats as they enter the first Nordic Union Election, though, as the franchise has both been expanded, and there are now a greater proportion of Swedish countryside seats than ever before, where Hats tend to fare poorly. Nonetheless, Herr Ribbing (who is running for the Älvsborg County burgher seat) is not gloomy, he is campaigning like no leader of a political party in Sweden has ever campaigned before, travelling the country, holding speeches, issuing a national manifesto, answer questions from electors. Many newspaper editors and members of polite society have expressed disgust and even ridicule over what they perceive as Ribbing’s “blatantly American” actions, but that does not seem to deter him one bit. It remains to be seen if it will pay off.
Caps (Sweden and Finland): Despite having served now for six years as State Minister for Foreign Affairs, the Caps grand old leader Arvid Nordenskiöld has failed to get too much credit for his work in the Kalmar Conferences which has brought about Unification, and what a shame that is, for he is otherwise generally held to be a skilled diplomat and talented administrator. A nobleman, Arvid Nordenskiöld is a representative peer in the House of Knights for Nyland and Tavastland, having been duly elected by his fellow noblemen when they assembled in Helsinki back in April. Nordenskiöld thinks that Ribbing’s electioneering is silly, and is confident that the electors will agree with him on that. He has declared that he will received journalists at his estate in Mäntsälä, where he also intends to spend the election night in peace and quiet.
Unionist Caps: A breakout from the Cap Party who have much liked the composition government with the Hats, and would have preferred to see it continue. They have a good relationship with Swedish Chancery President H. H. Ribbing, and intend to support him in the first Unionsdag for Imperial Nordic Chancery President. Their members do kind of resemble a bunch of opportunists. Their most important leader is the former Mayor of Gothenburg, perhaps the most notorious machine politician and clientele politician in all of Scandinavia Vilhelm De Silentz, and its hardly a coincident that what with the new imperial capital being in Gothenburg, Gothenburger politicians (traditionally overwhelmingly Cap), would like a seat at the table. And then there are people like Baron Fredrik Åkerhielm, who are known to have challenged the sanctity of free trade, long held to be dogma in the Cap Party. They have even managed to get some candidates to run in Norway. They are a good ally for the Hats to have, as they look like they can win in places where Hats and Norwegian Unionists would never be able to pull it off.
Skepticals: The party that Geijer built up out of the ashes of the old Swedish Crown Party is finding themselves in an awkward situation, having adopted a well, skeptical attitude to union with Denmark and Norway. They are only running a handful of constituencies in Sweden for the Unionsdag at all. However, don’t for a second assume that the Skepticals are a dying breed. There is a deep and potent Skeptical undercurrent, and it will blossom up again if an issue is ever found for them to seize on.
Maalaistenliitto (Finnish Agrarians): A break-away faction of the Caps in Finland, who feel that the Caps are too dominated by the interest of the Swedish-speaking elite, the issue that broke the camel’s back being the extreme disparity in government-funded schools with Swedish as its language of instruction and Finnish as its language of instruction. Populists with a bit of a radical streak, they are becoming increasingly a nuisance to the Caps, who once could safely rely on a base in rural Finland.
The Kingdom of Norway:
Caps (Norway): The Norwegian branch of the Cap party has been in power constantly since 1826, always winning elections to the Storting in landslides. They have long been fiercely jealous of their home rule, and the union with Sweden has for a long time been mostly a theoretical matter, existing only on paper. The Norwegians were thus the most difficult delegation to pacify at Kalmar, and when they were done, they ended up holding a plebicite on the matter, which fortunately the Yes side won with 67-33%. Their alliance with the Swedish Caps is however rather tense, as campaigning that would be termed “American-style” in Sweden and Finland is far more prevalent in Norway, and the Norwegian Cap leadership have taken great issue with what they feel are the Swedes not even trying to win. Curiously, most leaders of the Norwegian Caps have decided not to run for union office, most notably Norway’s First Minister, the ever popular Gulbrand Gulbrandsen, who has decided to stay in Christiania and continue to lead Norway’s regional government.
Norwegian Unionists: The sister party of the Hats in Norway, they do not run under the Hat banner, as the label is still rather toxic in Norway, sometimes derisively called "The Swedish Party". They are popular in and around the Christiania area, and in Bergen, but otherwise not particularly popular at all, in fact, in some parts hated as puppets of the Swedes. Them never getting into government at all means that there is essentially no friction between them and the Hats, and their leader Per Wedel-Jarlsberg has a more than amicable relationship with H. H. Ribbing, aided in no small part of course by the prospect that if Ribbing becomes the first Imperial Chancery President, Wedel-Jarlsberg is more than guaranteed to have a cabinet position and ministerial portfolio.
Uavhengighetsmennene: The so-called "Independence Men" who have not allowed themselves to be reconciled with anything less than unconditional Norwegian independence.
The Kingdom of Denmark:
Radikale Højre: As popular as they ever have been, Denmark’s party of government is entering the first Nordic Union Election with great ambition as they are fielding candidates in every single last Danish constituency, and also a few of the northern Slesvig constituencies. Their leader, and Denmark’s Conseil President since 1857, Nicolas Andersen is himself running for a seat in the Nordic Unionsdag, standing for the Odense burgher seat. It is a mathematical impossibility that his party will end up with a majority of seats, or even a plurality of seats, but no doubt they are going to get a reasonable chunk of seats, and either Nordenskiöld of the Caps or Ribbing of the Hats will have to make some sort of substantial deal with Herr Andersen if they wish to become the first imperial Chancery President.
Venstre: They had a brief fling in government in the 1840s, but are now but a mere rump in the Danehof. These Danish liberals don’t even have an organized leadership any longer. Voices have been raised that they should seek some form of cooperation with the Swedish and Norwegian Caps, but these calls have been all but entirely unanswered.
Gamle Højre: Both Gamle and Radikale Højre have emerged from the split of the old Højre party of Lensgreve Moltke who led Denmark through the War of Copenhagen Interpretation. As Ventre have been marginalized towards the left in Danish politics, so Gamle Højre has been marginalized to the right. A mere rump these days, they no longer have a proper leader, though there are some noteworthy agitators among them, most notably Lensgreve Niels Preben Bille-Brahe, who has been sharply critical of Nicolas Andersen and actually voted against Union with Sweden and Norway. This is however a bit of a radical stance, and most politicians identified with Gamle Højre were supportive of Union.
The Duchies of Slesvig, Holsten, and Lauenborg:
Die Landmannpartei: One of the major parties in the Duchies, the Landmannpartei is composed mainly of wealthy German-speaking landowners. However, do not let their language fool you into thinking that they are some sort of German nationalists. These are the elites that have long been the bureaucratic and administrative class in the Duchies, the kind of people who have benefited from being an unofficial part of Denmark, and who generally have been against any liberal constitutional measures. When the Prussians invaded back in ‘48, these were the most loyal of loyalists. Back in the day, they were essentially the German sister-party of Danish Højre. Now that Højre has split, well, these people still want to protect their interests, and what better way to do so than to enter into an alliance with a proven winner? Though decidedly more right-wing, they have an amicable relationship with Radikale Højre, and where Nicolas Andersen takes Radikale Højre, there’s no doubt that the Landmannpartei will follow.
Die Deutsche Fortschrittspartei: The German radicals these are, who has pushed the strongest for the a liberal constitution for the Duchies and who are for separation for Denmark (and now the North entire). Though in some aspects it is quite clear what they want, land reform, a greatly expanded suffrage, free trade, etc. on the one big existential questions it’s still left quite in the open. Some sort of liberal United Germany appears to be the ideal, presumably, but good luck trying to convince the governments in Vienna or Berlin of such a notion.
Die Unionliberalen: The Duchies are not without liberal-minded unionists, but they are few, poorly organized, and mainly concentrated in and around the cities.
Die Deutsche Volkspartei: German right-wingers who probably, if given the opportunity, would not be against annexation by Prussia at all.
Die Antisemiten: The Anti-Semitic Party is running on a platform of radical reform of the banking system, greater infrastructure spending, greater autonomy for the Duchies, the complete expulsion of all Jews from the Nordic countries, a reduction of duties on sugar and textiles, and the introduction of a tax on unused land to fund public pensions. They have however stated their desire to be a constructive partner and are open to negotiation and compromise on all the aforementioned points.
The Duchy of Pomerania:
Die Verfassungspartei: Pomerania, long without representation in the Swedish Riksdag, got its own legislative assembly, the Landtag, following the Napoleonic Wars, and here, the Verfassungspartei have long been the natural governing party. Historically advocating a strong defense, close ties with Sweden, and general opposition to reform, they have often been seen as close to the Hats (though they did in fairness get along well with the Caps when Björnstjerna was Chancery President).
Die Freisinnige: The Caps’ sister “party” in Pomerania. Historically have been less successful than the Verfassungspartei. Now they also have to deal with the Radikalen.
Die Deutschen Brüder: Pomeranian. Not really a properly organized political party as such, they are more generally just a collection of people who have long favoured closer connection with Prussia, up to and including annexation. Their name is what the Germans called the Teutonic Knights, but also just means “the German Brothers”, and in Swedish-language publications, they are referred to as “tyskbröderna” or “tyska brödraskapet”. Whether or not this was a name they took for themselves to evoke chivalric imagery or something that their opponents gave them to imply that they are stuck in the past is an open question.
Die Radikale Partei von Pommern: More radical liberals, who have not been quite keen on being part of the Nordic Empire. The party furthermore consists of a large number of Prussians with radical ideas who have gone into self-imposed (or otherwise) exile into Pomerania, and run for the Landtag to use their mandate to propose political reform back in the Kingdom of Prussia that still doesn’t have a parliamentary assembly. Perhaps most notorious is Arnold Wolff-Pfeiffer, who was a radical Berliner newspaper editor for many years, before he migrated to Stralsund and became a member of the legislative assembly. He is most (in)famous for a seven hour filibuster he once made during the final debate in the 1863 budget, which had nothing to do with the budget, but everything to do with him reading out a desired program of reform he wanted the Prussian government to enact, including a model constitution for that country. Herr Wolff-Pheffier has decided to stand for the burgher seat of Greifswald in the first Nordic Union Election. There can be no doubt that he intends to solely use his seat, if he wins it (God forbid), to argue for further internal reform in the Kingdom of Prussia.
There is of course also a fair number of independents running, but I have no intention to go inte each and every one of those...
The Kingdom of Sweden and Grand Principality of Finland:
Hats: Having occupied the Chancery Presidency uninterrupted for nearly twenty years, though the last six in a composition government with the Caps. Their leader is the ever serious Hugo Hubert Ribbing, and he and his party has greatly managed to capitalize on the pan-Scandinavian sentiment. It’s looking though for the Hats as they enter the first Nordic Union Election, though, as the franchise has both been expanded, and there are now a greater proportion of Swedish countryside seats than ever before, where Hats tend to fare poorly. Nonetheless, Herr Ribbing (who is running for the Älvsborg County burgher seat) is not gloomy, he is campaigning like no leader of a political party in Sweden has ever campaigned before, travelling the country, holding speeches, issuing a national manifesto, answer questions from electors. Many newspaper editors and members of polite society have expressed disgust and even ridicule over what they perceive as Ribbing’s “blatantly American” actions, but that does not seem to deter him one bit. It remains to be seen if it will pay off.
Caps (Sweden and Finland): Despite having served now for six years as State Minister for Foreign Affairs, the Caps grand old leader Arvid Nordenskiöld has failed to get too much credit for his work in the Kalmar Conferences which has brought about Unification, and what a shame that is, for he is otherwise generally held to be a skilled diplomat and talented administrator. A nobleman, Arvid Nordenskiöld is a representative peer in the House of Knights for Nyland and Tavastland, having been duly elected by his fellow noblemen when they assembled in Helsinki back in April. Nordenskiöld thinks that Ribbing’s electioneering is silly, and is confident that the electors will agree with him on that. He has declared that he will received journalists at his estate in Mäntsälä, where he also intends to spend the election night in peace and quiet.
Unionist Caps: A breakout from the Cap Party who have much liked the composition government with the Hats, and would have preferred to see it continue. They have a good relationship with Swedish Chancery President H. H. Ribbing, and intend to support him in the first Unionsdag for Imperial Nordic Chancery President. Their members do kind of resemble a bunch of opportunists. Their most important leader is the former Mayor of Gothenburg, perhaps the most notorious machine politician and clientele politician in all of Scandinavia Vilhelm De Silentz, and its hardly a coincident that what with the new imperial capital being in Gothenburg, Gothenburger politicians (traditionally overwhelmingly Cap), would like a seat at the table. And then there are people like Baron Fredrik Åkerhielm, who are known to have challenged the sanctity of free trade, long held to be dogma in the Cap Party. They have even managed to get some candidates to run in Norway. They are a good ally for the Hats to have, as they look like they can win in places where Hats and Norwegian Unionists would never be able to pull it off.
Skepticals: The party that Geijer built up out of the ashes of the old Swedish Crown Party is finding themselves in an awkward situation, having adopted a well, skeptical attitude to union with Denmark and Norway. They are only running a handful of constituencies in Sweden for the Unionsdag at all. However, don’t for a second assume that the Skepticals are a dying breed. There is a deep and potent Skeptical undercurrent, and it will blossom up again if an issue is ever found for them to seize on.
Maalaistenliitto (Finnish Agrarians): A break-away faction of the Caps in Finland, who feel that the Caps are too dominated by the interest of the Swedish-speaking elite, the issue that broke the camel’s back being the extreme disparity in government-funded schools with Swedish as its language of instruction and Finnish as its language of instruction. Populists with a bit of a radical streak, they are becoming increasingly a nuisance to the Caps, who once could safely rely on a base in rural Finland.
The Kingdom of Norway:
Caps (Norway): The Norwegian branch of the Cap party has been in power constantly since 1826, always winning elections to the Storting in landslides. They have long been fiercely jealous of their home rule, and the union with Sweden has for a long time been mostly a theoretical matter, existing only on paper. The Norwegians were thus the most difficult delegation to pacify at Kalmar, and when they were done, they ended up holding a plebicite on the matter, which fortunately the Yes side won with 67-33%. Their alliance with the Swedish Caps is however rather tense, as campaigning that would be termed “American-style” in Sweden and Finland is far more prevalent in Norway, and the Norwegian Cap leadership have taken great issue with what they feel are the Swedes not even trying to win. Curiously, most leaders of the Norwegian Caps have decided not to run for union office, most notably Norway’s First Minister, the ever popular Gulbrand Gulbrandsen, who has decided to stay in Christiania and continue to lead Norway’s regional government.
Norwegian Unionists: The sister party of the Hats in Norway, they do not run under the Hat banner, as the label is still rather toxic in Norway, sometimes derisively called "The Swedish Party". They are popular in and around the Christiania area, and in Bergen, but otherwise not particularly popular at all, in fact, in some parts hated as puppets of the Swedes. Them never getting into government at all means that there is essentially no friction between them and the Hats, and their leader Per Wedel-Jarlsberg has a more than amicable relationship with H. H. Ribbing, aided in no small part of course by the prospect that if Ribbing becomes the first Imperial Chancery President, Wedel-Jarlsberg is more than guaranteed to have a cabinet position and ministerial portfolio.
Uavhengighetsmennene: The so-called "Independence Men" who have not allowed themselves to be reconciled with anything less than unconditional Norwegian independence.
The Kingdom of Denmark:
Radikale Højre: As popular as they ever have been, Denmark’s party of government is entering the first Nordic Union Election with great ambition as they are fielding candidates in every single last Danish constituency, and also a few of the northern Slesvig constituencies. Their leader, and Denmark’s Conseil President since 1857, Nicolas Andersen is himself running for a seat in the Nordic Unionsdag, standing for the Odense burgher seat. It is a mathematical impossibility that his party will end up with a majority of seats, or even a plurality of seats, but no doubt they are going to get a reasonable chunk of seats, and either Nordenskiöld of the Caps or Ribbing of the Hats will have to make some sort of substantial deal with Herr Andersen if they wish to become the first imperial Chancery President.
Venstre: They had a brief fling in government in the 1840s, but are now but a mere rump in the Danehof. These Danish liberals don’t even have an organized leadership any longer. Voices have been raised that they should seek some form of cooperation with the Swedish and Norwegian Caps, but these calls have been all but entirely unanswered.
Gamle Højre: Both Gamle and Radikale Højre have emerged from the split of the old Højre party of Lensgreve Moltke who led Denmark through the War of Copenhagen Interpretation. As Ventre have been marginalized towards the left in Danish politics, so Gamle Højre has been marginalized to the right. A mere rump these days, they no longer have a proper leader, though there are some noteworthy agitators among them, most notably Lensgreve Niels Preben Bille-Brahe, who has been sharply critical of Nicolas Andersen and actually voted against Union with Sweden and Norway. This is however a bit of a radical stance, and most politicians identified with Gamle Højre were supportive of Union.
The Duchies of Slesvig, Holsten, and Lauenborg:
Die Landmannpartei: One of the major parties in the Duchies, the Landmannpartei is composed mainly of wealthy German-speaking landowners. However, do not let their language fool you into thinking that they are some sort of German nationalists. These are the elites that have long been the bureaucratic and administrative class in the Duchies, the kind of people who have benefited from being an unofficial part of Denmark, and who generally have been against any liberal constitutional measures. When the Prussians invaded back in ‘48, these were the most loyal of loyalists. Back in the day, they were essentially the German sister-party of Danish Højre. Now that Højre has split, well, these people still want to protect their interests, and what better way to do so than to enter into an alliance with a proven winner? Though decidedly more right-wing, they have an amicable relationship with Radikale Højre, and where Nicolas Andersen takes Radikale Højre, there’s no doubt that the Landmannpartei will follow.
Die Deutsche Fortschrittspartei: The German radicals these are, who has pushed the strongest for the a liberal constitution for the Duchies and who are for separation for Denmark (and now the North entire). Though in some aspects it is quite clear what they want, land reform, a greatly expanded suffrage, free trade, etc. on the one big existential questions it’s still left quite in the open. Some sort of liberal United Germany appears to be the ideal, presumably, but good luck trying to convince the governments in Vienna or Berlin of such a notion.
Die Unionliberalen: The Duchies are not without liberal-minded unionists, but they are few, poorly organized, and mainly concentrated in and around the cities.
Die Deutsche Volkspartei: German right-wingers who probably, if given the opportunity, would not be against annexation by Prussia at all.
Die Antisemiten: The Anti-Semitic Party is running on a platform of radical reform of the banking system, greater infrastructure spending, greater autonomy for the Duchies, the complete expulsion of all Jews from the Nordic countries, a reduction of duties on sugar and textiles, and the introduction of a tax on unused land to fund public pensions. They have however stated their desire to be a constructive partner and are open to negotiation and compromise on all the aforementioned points.
The Duchy of Pomerania:
Die Verfassungspartei: Pomerania, long without representation in the Swedish Riksdag, got its own legislative assembly, the Landtag, following the Napoleonic Wars, and here, the Verfassungspartei have long been the natural governing party. Historically advocating a strong defense, close ties with Sweden, and general opposition to reform, they have often been seen as close to the Hats (though they did in fairness get along well with the Caps when Björnstjerna was Chancery President).
Die Freisinnige: The Caps’ sister “party” in Pomerania. Historically have been less successful than the Verfassungspartei. Now they also have to deal with the Radikalen.
Die Deutschen Brüder: Pomeranian. Not really a properly organized political party as such, they are more generally just a collection of people who have long favoured closer connection with Prussia, up to and including annexation. Their name is what the Germans called the Teutonic Knights, but also just means “the German Brothers”, and in Swedish-language publications, they are referred to as “tyskbröderna” or “tyska brödraskapet”. Whether or not this was a name they took for themselves to evoke chivalric imagery or something that their opponents gave them to imply that they are stuck in the past is an open question.
Die Radikale Partei von Pommern: More radical liberals, who have not been quite keen on being part of the Nordic Empire. The party furthermore consists of a large number of Prussians with radical ideas who have gone into self-imposed (or otherwise) exile into Pomerania, and run for the Landtag to use their mandate to propose political reform back in the Kingdom of Prussia that still doesn’t have a parliamentary assembly. Perhaps most notorious is Arnold Wolff-Pfeiffer, who was a radical Berliner newspaper editor for many years, before he migrated to Stralsund and became a member of the legislative assembly. He is most (in)famous for a seven hour filibuster he once made during the final debate in the 1863 budget, which had nothing to do with the budget, but everything to do with him reading out a desired program of reform he wanted the Prussian government to enact, including a model constitution for that country. Herr Wolff-Pheffier has decided to stand for the burgher seat of Greifswald in the first Nordic Union Election. There can be no doubt that he intends to solely use his seat, if he wins it (God forbid), to argue for further internal reform in the Kingdom of Prussia.
There is of course also a fair number of independents running, but I have no intention to go inte each and every one of those...
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Makemakean
Mr Makemean
- Pronouns
- Logical, unlike those in German
Pfff-... Amateurs!
That's not how you properly make use of the Photograph of Hugh Grant as Prime Minister trope!
I still hate you for this.
(This is a reference to the original posting of "The Curse of Maggie", for those not familiar with it)
Have we thought about Hugh Grant as the Emperor of Mankind?
If you believe that one line from a filmmaker I quoted in The Curse of Maggie, if Hugh Grant was Emperor of Mankind then Horus would never have rebelled and he'd have closed the Eye of Terror by poking at it while swearing a lot.
Artaxerxes
Senshi sautés seashells by the seashore
- Location
- #VALUE!
The Horus Heresy novels suggest that would be an improvement on the actual plan.
Hmm, I need to do more WFB or 40k run downs actually...
It is the 21st Century. For more than sixty years the King of England has sat immobile on the throne of Buckingham Palace. He is the Commander of the Empire & Commonwealth by the will of God and master of a third of the Earth by the might of His Majesty's inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass stitched into the great Bletchley Machines that truly run the country, the figurehead of the vast British Empire for which the sun cannot be allowed to set, continuing His Majesty's eternal role as figurehead for the undying dominion.
Mighty battlefleets cross the Axis infested Atlantic and Pacific. Vast armies give battle under the Union Jack on countless fronts. Greatest amongst His Majesty's soldiers are the Royal Marines Adept Commandos, biologically augmented super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the British Army and its countless colonial equivalents, the Royal Air Force, the ever-vigilant Special Operations Executive and the "Turing Disciples" of Bletchley Park to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to humanity from the foul regimes of the Eternal Axis.
To be an imperial subject in such times is to be one amongst two billion. It is to live during the cruelest and most bloody war imaginable. Forget the power of the United States or Soviet Union, for they have fallen, never to be seen again except in the surviving protectorates. Forget the promise of a League of Nations and peace, for in the grim dark 2010s there is only war. There is no peace, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the vain hope that God is on your side and ensures you rule the waves.
Mighty battlefleets cross the Axis infested Atlantic and Pacific. Vast armies give battle under the Union Jack on countless fronts. Greatest amongst His Majesty's soldiers are the Royal Marines Adept Commandos, biologically augmented super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the British Army and its countless colonial equivalents, the Royal Air Force, the ever-vigilant Special Operations Executive and the "Turing Disciples" of Bletchley Park to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to humanity from the foul regimes of the Eternal Axis.
To be an imperial subject in such times is to be one amongst two billion. It is to live during the cruelest and most bloody war imaginable. Forget the power of the United States or Soviet Union, for they have fallen, never to be seen again except in the surviving protectorates. Forget the promise of a League of Nations and peace, for in the grim dark 2010s there is only war. There is no peace, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the vain hope that God is on your side and ensures you rule the waves.
- Location
- Op een dag, Nederland.
- Pronouns
- she/her & ne/nem
Republic of China, 1991 in The Tiger Awakened
(an election game on the Other Place, started in 1948)
Patriotic Labour
- screaming in utterly helpless rage that their work ruining China for eight years has been repealed, now having tantrums
Kuomintang
- Now to repeal everything particularly nice about the last decade. Also, Namibia is a baddie for punching poor Alexie's nose
People's Principles
- Gosh, isn't Ruan Mei nice? She speaks a lot of good about an united China and how we should treat everyone fairly. Such nice meaningless platitudes. Now time to implement socially conservative bills harming minorities.
Fidesian Workers' Coalition
- Why is Cao Fen slurring his words and about to punch a PLP person? And wow, are both sides extreme. Dialogue people!
Purple List
- hey! we exist! also pls dont buy liangs book its full of lies. pls
Rodina
- Isn't the government so wonderful. Theymade Wrangel happy assured Russians that we are heard as much as any minority!
Regionalist Conservation
- Don't pay any attention to the defectors. We're for farmers. They're just puppets of the urbanist PLP, like everything else bad.
Business and Industry
- What a pity the rest of the cabinet said we can't abolish universal healthcare.
(an election game on the Other Place, started in 1948)
Patriotic Labour
- screaming in utterly helpless rage that their work ruining China for eight years has been repealed, now having tantrums
Kuomintang
- Now to repeal everything particularly nice about the last decade. Also, Namibia is a baddie for punching poor Alexie's nose
People's Principles
- Gosh, isn't Ruan Mei nice? She speaks a lot of good about an united China and how we should treat everyone fairly. Such nice meaningless platitudes. Now time to implement socially conservative bills harming minorities.
Fidesian Workers' Coalition
- Why is Cao Fen slurring his words and about to punch a PLP person? And wow, are both sides extreme. Dialogue people!
Purple List
- hey! we exist! also pls dont buy liangs book its full of lies. pls
Rodina
- Isn't the government so wonderful. They
Regionalist Conservation
- Don't pay any attention to the defectors. We're for farmers. They're just puppets of the urbanist PLP, like everything else bad.
Business and Industry
- What a pity the rest of the cabinet said we can't abolish universal healthcare.
Meppo
Anticommunist Mole
- Location
- Default City, Russia
- Pronouns
- he/him
[POST-ANTONOVA STRESS DISORDER INTENSIFIES]
- Location
- Tamaki Makaurau
Official Political Party Anthems from the Register of Political Parties
Labour – No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys
Conservative – The Conservative Rap by David Cameron and the Cameroons
Liberal – Who’ll Come A-Losing Deposits with Me (Traditional)
British Sceptics – Mongoloid by Devo
English Democrats – Land of St George by Citizen Steve
SNP – Scotland Wha Hae (Traditional)
The anthems of the Northern Irish political parties and Plaid Cymru have been banned from circulation.
Labour – No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys
Conservative – The Conservative Rap by David Cameron and the Cameroons
Liberal – Who’ll Come A-Losing Deposits with Me (Traditional)
British Sceptics – Mongoloid by Devo
English Democrats – Land of St George by Citizen Steve
SNP – Scotland Wha Hae (Traditional)
The anthems of the Northern Irish political parties and Plaid Cymru have been banned from circulation.
Walpurgisnacht
It was in the Year of Maximum Danger
- Location
- Banned from the forum
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Interesting.
I suppose there's no plans for further explanation.
Also, nice reference to DEVO.
Operation Sea Lion is a go after Britain is sold out - a highly connected Jewish lawyer, Ewen Montagu, has passed them a map of all the gaps in the sea minefields, in exchange for him and his family being spared the camps when German wins. The mission is still a great risk but when the invasion forces can bundle up and sail right through part of the defences, a defence the British will be relying on? That tipped things. The navy and over a hundred thousand soldiers in barges sail under the guns of the Royal Navy and the bombs of the RAF, taking damage but knowing they have an advantage--
No they don't, Montegu was a spy running a con on them*, they just sailed right into mines.
The entire German plan was based on this gap, and is an even bigger rout than Whitehall expected. The German navy is shattered, Luftwaffe resources were stretched, and a vast number of men are dead or captured - and that's before a wrathful Hitler starts purging the Abwehr and his generals and anyone he can blame who's not him.
Whoops.
* Actual plan he came up with
No they don't, Montegu was a spy running a con on them*, they just sailed right into mines.
The entire German plan was based on this gap, and is an even bigger rout than Whitehall expected. The German navy is shattered, Luftwaffe resources were stretched, and a vast number of men are dead or captured - and that's before a wrathful Hitler starts purging the Abwehr and his generals and anyone he can blame who's not him.
Whoops.
* Actual plan he came up with
Tuesday, 9th August 2011, and DID YOU HEAR THE POLICE KILLED A KID?
Whether police in London actually beat a kid excessively or if it was an accident or if it was rioters by accident or something else doesn't really matter - a young man died from untreated concussion in the early hours of the morning. The rioters in London would, pundits believe, have mostly backed down in the face of the vast numbers of police that Cameron will have blanket the city that afternoon, but now their blood's up again and so are others elsewhere. Violent clashes are seen across the city that night, as well as riots spreading vastly across England and the first outside it, as sporadic disorder breaks out in Cardiff.
Wednesday sees bad weather and that prevents a number of riots, but not enough and vigilante gangs are forming to 'protect the streets', leading to a whole new type of violence that carries on into the weekend (and spikes of burglaries in leafy Surrey suburbs as opportunistic robbers realise how many police have been set to London). A handful more deaths result by Saturday, the most shocking being a family dead in a firebombing in Cardiff.
Public demands for Something and the government's apparent weakness sees the army temporarily deployed in several cities that Sunday, shutting down what remained of the riots after the Cardiff killing threw cold water on most people.
Both government and police have been fatally undermined, community cohesion is coughing blood. Theresa May has to fall on her sword and Ken Clarke is replaced as Justice Secretary, as he's too soft - the harder Iain Duncan Smith and Chris Grayling, respectively, are moved up to replace them. Doesn't help Cameron, who now looks 'soft' - where was HE until Tuesday, people and tabloids angrily ask.
Meanwhile, the left are carrying on more and louder anti-austerity cuts, blaming that for the riots, and getting some very visible clashes with police. Miliband goes heavily on this, leading Labour to batter the Tories again and again (the Lib Dems are already in civil war over whether to keep backing a I'm-tough-really PM or not). In the local elections in 2012, Labour expects to make a killing.
And they do.
So does UKIP, running on the We'll Sort This Out platform.
And it's UKIP who gets a lot of their fellow travellers elected as the brand new Police & Crime Commissioners that most people are ignoring.
Uh oh.
Whether police in London actually beat a kid excessively or if it was an accident or if it was rioters by accident or something else doesn't really matter - a young man died from untreated concussion in the early hours of the morning. The rioters in London would, pundits believe, have mostly backed down in the face of the vast numbers of police that Cameron will have blanket the city that afternoon, but now their blood's up again and so are others elsewhere. Violent clashes are seen across the city that night, as well as riots spreading vastly across England and the first outside it, as sporadic disorder breaks out in Cardiff.
Wednesday sees bad weather and that prevents a number of riots, but not enough and vigilante gangs are forming to 'protect the streets', leading to a whole new type of violence that carries on into the weekend (and spikes of burglaries in leafy Surrey suburbs as opportunistic robbers realise how many police have been set to London). A handful more deaths result by Saturday, the most shocking being a family dead in a firebombing in Cardiff.
Public demands for Something and the government's apparent weakness sees the army temporarily deployed in several cities that Sunday, shutting down what remained of the riots after the Cardiff killing threw cold water on most people.
Both government and police have been fatally undermined, community cohesion is coughing blood. Theresa May has to fall on her sword and Ken Clarke is replaced as Justice Secretary, as he's too soft - the harder Iain Duncan Smith and Chris Grayling, respectively, are moved up to replace them. Doesn't help Cameron, who now looks 'soft' - where was HE until Tuesday, people and tabloids angrily ask.
Meanwhile, the left are carrying on more and louder anti-austerity cuts, blaming that for the riots, and getting some very visible clashes with police. Miliband goes heavily on this, leading Labour to batter the Tories again and again (the Lib Dems are already in civil war over whether to keep backing a I'm-tough-really PM or not). In the local elections in 2012, Labour expects to make a killing.
And they do.
So does UKIP, running on the We'll Sort This Out platform.
And it's UKIP who gets a lot of their fellow travellers elected as the brand new Police & Crime Commissioners that most people are ignoring.
Uh oh.
Artaxerxes
Senshi sautés seashells by the seashore
- Location
- #VALUE!
It sounds ominous but given the total lack of actual powers and responsibilities of the role...
Powers and responsibilities are quite limited, sure, but there's enough that you could make a real nuisance of yourself if you wanted to.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I could easily see UKIP using the positions to run on a WE KNOW HOW TO RUN LAW AND ORDER SEE? platform
- Location
- Teignmouth, Devon
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The Pirate Party
For the first time the Pirate Party is standing a full slate in the EU elections! I thought it'd be interesting to see who they've got. I also plan to do the remnants of UKIP, the Greens, the Independent Liberal Party, the Uprising, and whatever the far-right group is this week
For the first time the Pirate Party is standing a full slate in the EU elections! I thought it'd be interesting to see who they've got. I also plan to do the remnants of UKIP, the Greens, the Independent Liberal Party, the Uprising, and whatever the far-right group is this week
South West
- Hannah Little – Senior lecturer, ran against Elston for leader on the basis that the party needed a female leader. So basically the Yvette Cooper to David Elston's Chuka Umunna and this is the only time anyone is going to able to compare David Elston to Chuka Umunna
- Jean-Michel Carter - Mostly into neuroscience. A politician for some reason
- Milo Hanrahan - Came into the party through the gamergate lot and still holds some pretty nasty views. All about free speech, but somehow always for assholes. The sort who'd be some kind of conservative type if there was room for that among the troglodgytes.
- Martha Dark - Former HR person, operations Officer for the Open Rights group, and real functioning human being who I guess the party realised wouldn't embarrass them if she was actually elected
- Ankit Love - There's not a great deal you can do about Ankit. He stood as candidate in Peterborough and Islington North mostly because he can fund himself and he usually pays for models to come campaign with him. Basically a weird fucker but while he's not a funder he is independently wealthy and that's good enough for a #2 slot.
- Pandora Blake - Non-binary. Obscenity campaigner. I think they also do porn? This is 2019 - all the good politicians do porn. And vice versa
- Mathieu Gosselin - Transhumanist. Definitely a bit of a wanker. A cis man who knows how to hold his head to get a good selfie and I'm all in for that.
- Zack Polanski - The boob hypnosis guy. And other things, but he'll always be the boob hypnosis guy.
- Mark Chapman - London coordinator but really really low down this list for some reason
- Rebecca Sentance - Press officer and SEO lady. Great name for someone who does web writing
- Alexander van Terheyden - His membership precedes gmergate but he's still an arse. He almost had a disciplinary for Islamophobia (but of course didn't because these are the Pirates and they don't do party discipline)
- Julian Huppert - Weird coup for the Pirates to have a former MP. He left the Lib Dems in 2013 when the Snooper's Charter came in and he's kind of well known
- Myles Jackman - The Obscenity Lawyer. Famous for getting people off being arrested for trying to get off. Another coup for the party.
- Christopher Weatherhead - A former Anonymous hacker who spent some time in prison for the Avenge Assange op and is definitely not the kind of person the modern party wants front and centre but gamergate gonna gamergate.
- David Geraghty - David is a campaigner in Derby who stood for election in Derby South in 2017 and was presumably the real inspiration behind Russell Brand's campaigner "David" in UM's "Mr Bright Side" novel. I can't think who else they could have been based on.
- Emily Falzon - Law student and Chair of the Young Pirates. Due to various fuck ups is the only candidate there,
- Loz Kaye - Was the leader during Wikileaks, Assange's death, up to the Snooper's Charter and things getting chaotic. Apparently he's still alive
- Graeme Lambert - Focuses very much on libertarianism in the party.
- Tim Dobson - Was recently on the BBC for taking his 99 year old grandmother rock climbing. Yes really.
- Morgan Hill - A name SEO people hate
- Cris Chesha - One of the former leaders who are hard to remember. Is fond of wearing baseball caps.
- Cory Doctorow - Science Fiction writer and digital rights activist. And celebrity. Hence the top billing.
- Jason Kitkat - Former Green councillor but fell out with Brighton Green council after their time in power and... he's complicated. His defection in 2014 made him one of the first Pirate Councillors in the country
- Josh Smith - Created the system for crowd sourcing policy in the party and administrates the GitHub page. The Pirates are winning on Mastodon and Discord as well, but their successful Discord presence is pretty impressive
- Sam Mills - Actually the party's IT guy and actually lives in Brussels but okay.
- Anne Jersh - One of those rare new age-ey Pirates. Is a hypnotherapist into "Future Life Progression" which makes her the second or maybe third weirdest hypnotist in this list
- Rachel Ling - Stood for yourVOICE last time - the direct democrats with a QR code for a logo. This... seems like a natural progression
- Jason Halsey - A Bournemouth PPC back in 2017
- David Elston - You know I love David. Not you, David (but I love you too). Did well enough as a parish councillor to somehow get a council level seat. This is very much precursor to 2020 when he's probably the best chance the Pirates have of taking a Welsh Assembly seat (their chances are slim, but, you never know)
- Sunny Sangha - Famously attempted to bring about the Pirate's first full slate in Birmingham in 2018 and in the end managed to bring in just 8 candidates, which was still... good... if he hadn't hyped it so much.
- Andrew Robinson - The first leader of the party, from back when they were struggling to sell t-shirts.
- Zoe Blade - Moderately successful trans woman and musician. Did the music for the dating show You know the one? With Monroe Bergdorf?
- Gary Kitchin - This sexy motherfucker was the 2nd place candidate in Batley and Spen, beating all the various fascists. He's also winning for local council and parish council but he;s not using the Pirate descriptor there because he wants to win.
- Noel Sharkey - If elected his stint in parliament will be judged on four categories: damage, control, style and aggression.
- Andy Halsall - Runs Open Intelligence, a politicsy techy, kind of... thing
- Mark Rice - Manages the Surveillance Index and has a big ginger beard
- Alex Staniforth - Occultist, libertarian, and ghost tour operator. So... if you were worried about the party being too science-ey, at least they have someone to handle the magic too
- Iain R. Learmonth - Involved in Tor, The Distronet and all those other things Theresa May will never understand but fears. He, on the other hand, will never understand and kind of fears politics. So it evens out.
- Lewis Sturrock - The Most Northern Pirate since the Vikings
- Barry Brown - The Northern Ireland branch of the party has only existed since 2018 and is mostly the remains of Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol, hence Barry Brown.
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- Location
- Sandford, Gloucestershire
- Pronouns
- She/They
This was always an inevitability since Cory moved over here. He's probably in the "Alternate MPs where we have voting reform or some shit" Although real hard bastards writing him becoming a peer under some Radical government.
Awesome!
I mean, I'm still not going to vote Pirate but that is awesome.I loved him in DS9 and Dirty Harry